Growing Pains
by MaxCale
Summary: Sequel to Loose Ends. No one ever said growing up is easy. Especially when you're trying to navigate high school, raise a toddler, or deal with some past demons. But hopefully, love and family can help ease the pains life throws your way.
1. Goodbye Summer

Amy and Ricky were sitting on the floor playing with John and laughing with him. It was Labor Day and they had decided to spend their official last day of summer break alone as a family. John crawled over to his mother holding onto his favorite teddy bear and cuddled up next to her as he began making his bear dance around; Amy leaned forward and kissed the top of his head before sighing.

"What is it?" Ricky asked.

"I'm gonna miss spending so much time with him, like I get to do in the summer by working at the nursery all day." Her eyes became sad for a moment.

"I know. Me too." They shared a smile before returning their focus to their toddler. At the Bowman residence Grant was helping Grace clean up the kitchen, having joined the Bowmans for dinner. Grace noticed that Grant was lost in thought.

"What's on your mind?" she asked as she loaded several more plates into the dishwasher. Grant snapped back to reality at her question.

"Huh?" Grace chuckled.

"I asked what's on your mind. You seem a little out of it." Grant shrugged as he placed two empty serving bowls on the counter next to her.

"I've just been thinking about Reverend Stone's sermon Sunday night."

"Oh? What about it?" she asked curiously, loading the dirty silverware.

"I know he was mainly preaching to encourage the teens since school starts Tuesday, but it made me think about next year."

"Why next year?" she asked confused.

"Think about it. We're gonna graduate next year which means we're running out of time to figure out what kind of people we wanna be once we're at college and out on our own. I mean, we're obviously too young to have all the answers but we should start thinking this year about what path we wanna take next year, you know what I mean?" Grace nodded with understanding.

"I know what you mean. During the latter part of his sermon I was thinking about what college will be like. I know after college I'll be going to med school but I hadn't really thought much about everything in between, like how I can be a light at college, away from family and friends. I mean, I've never been on my own before, even at med camp." Grant nodded in agreement as he began putting the containers of leftover food into the fridge.

"I know. Reverend Stone encouraged us to enjoy being teenagers but the future's not that far away," he said worriedly. Grace rinsed and dried her hands before turning towards Grant and kissing his cheek.

"All we can do is pray, plan our best for the future and take life one day at a time," she told him with a smile. Grant smiled back before leaning in and kissing her lips. At the Cooperstein residence Madison and Justin were sitting on the couch making out. They were oblivious to Madison's father as he walked past the living room towards the kitchen, shaking his head. It wasn't that he disliked Justin, he just wasn't used to seeing his daughter lip-locking with a boy. Yes, he knew his little girl was old enough to date and dating involved PDA, however, he'd rather not have to see it. Then again, he preferred they make out in the living room where he could keep an eye on them instead of being up in her bedroom. At the Boykewich residence, Ben was double checking that he'd packed everything he'd need for school the next morning. He was also worrying about the future but for a different reason: in almost four months he was going to become a father. While he had some experience caring for a newborn thanks to the time he'd spent helping Amy care for John, the little girl that was about to enter the world was all his. **This** little girl would he **his** daughter. **He** would be responsible for making sure she grew up to be a decent human being and that responsibility was weighing on him heavily. At the Juergens residence Ashley was lying on her bed on her back, her head hanging over the side, and she was admiring her driver's permit. Griffin was seated on the floor next to her bed chuckling.

"You'd think it was about to disappear the way you keep staring at that thing." Ashley tipped her head further back so she could see him better and stuck out her tongue. She rolled over and propped herself up on her elbows.

"This **thing** means I'm one step closer to freedom. No more needing my parents or Amy to drop me off anytime I wanna go somewhere." Griffin snorted.

"Since when do **you** wanna go anywhere, other than the movies or the coffee shop? Places we can easily walk to from here by the way," he informed her. Ashley rolled her eyes and turned over so she was lying on her back again.

"Well maybe I'll wanna go somewhere once I can drive there myself," she said nonchalantly, causing Griffin to laugh.

"Ok," he said sarcastically. "Well why you figure out where you wanna go after you get your license, I'm gonna get ready for bed." Griffin unzipped his overnight bag and dug around for his pajamas and toothpaste. Once he went into the house Ashley got up from her bed with a smile as she dug out her own pajamas from her dresser. It was nice to have a best friend she could be herself with. She was also glad that Griffin had her parents' blessing to sleepover whenever he wanted and the two had decided a sleepover would be a good way to spend their last day of freedom. Next door at the Enriquez household Adrian headed from her bedroom to the bathroom to pee, again. _I can't wait 'til this little chica's outta me. Peeing so much is exhausting_ she thought wearily. Her weariness soon turned to excitement as she thought about seeing her daughter's face for the first time in just a few short months. Across town at the Treacy residence, Jesse and Lauren were standing on the front porch, having just returned from a typical teenage dinner and a movie kind of date, sharing a goodnight kiss.

"I'll see you at school tomorrow," Jesse told her with a smile.

"See you tomorrow," Lauren said with a smile of her own. "'Night, Jesse."

"'Night, Lauren." He gave her a quick peck on the lips and then waited for her to go inside before turning around and heading back to his car to head home. _It's been a great couple of weeks_ he thought cheerfully as he started his car and backed out of Lauren's driveway. _I just hope we don't get into any trouble and end up separated again. It's my senior year and I'd like to end it on a high note_ he thought to himself with a rueful smirk as he headed home. Over at Alice's house Henry was slouched on the couch pouting.

"Do we really have to go back to school tomorrow?" he asked with a whine. Alice rolled her eyes and glared at him with slight irritation.

"Oh don't be such a baby. High school won't last forever," she told him before popping some popcorn in her mouth and then turning her attention back to the movie they were watching. Henry frowned and then ate a handful of popcorn as well.

"Summer goes by too fast," he grumbled, causing Alice to chuckle.

"Don't worry. The school year will be over before you know it. But for that to happen it's gotta start," she stated, eating another handful of popcorn. Henry nodded glumly and then did likewise.

"Let's just hope this year's not as crazy as the last one." Alice nodded in agreement and they continued watching their movie in silence.


	2. Back to School

Ricky pulled into an empty parking stall and parked. He cut the engine, grabbed his backpack and took a deep breath_. Let's hope this year goes more smoothly than the last._ He got out and made his way towards the hallway closest to the band room. He came around the corner and smiled as he spotted Amy talking to Madison and Lauren.

"So the sale starts at 11:00 this Saturday," Madison said excitedly. Amy and Lauren laughed.

"Isn't it a little early to be shopping for homecoming dresses?" Amy asked. Madison wasn't put off.

"Of course not. This is the first time all three of us have had boyfriends in time for homecoming and I think we should go." Madison turned to Lauren and silently asked for her support. Lauren shook her head.

"Uh-uh, I'm with Amy. Besides, your boyfriend's supposed to ask you to the dance **before** you go looking for a dress."

"Oh details," Madison said, waving her hand as if waving away an annoying insect. She checked her cellphone and noticed the time. "I gotta get to my locker before first period. My math class is nowhere near it!" she exclaimed with annoyance. "See you guys at lunch?" Lauren and Amy nodded and Madison turned to walk away.

"I better get to my locker too," Lauren said with a wave before heading off in the same direction as Madison.

"Hey, gorgeous," Ricky said from behind her moments later. Amy turned towards him with a smile.

"Hey, handsome," she said before greeting him with a kiss as well. When they separated Ricky's heart swelled as he noticed she was still wearing the locket he'd given her. "So what was Madison so worked up about?" he asked conversationally as they headed inside, hands intertwined.

"She wants the three of us to go homecoming dress shopping this weekend."

"Isn't it kinda earlier for that? And don't most girls try to match their dress to the theme of the dance anyway?" Amy shrugged.

"I suppose so."

"And speaking of weekend plans, I wanted to ask you something."

"Yeah?" Amy said, stopping at her locker and opening it.

"Did you wanna keep the same arrangement we had this summer? Of doing things as a family on Saturday, I mean. With school back in session I figure sometimes we'll need the weekend to finish homework or whatnot, but we can still go out if you want." Amy smiled at his thoughtfulness.

"Actually I was thinking the same thing," she admitted as she placed her purse in her locker. "But I enjoy the time the three of us spend together. Soooooo. I was wondering if you'd be okay with us doing something every other Saturday, unless we've got some huge project or a test to study for or something." Ricky nodded in agreement.

"Sounds good to me." In the next hallway over Adrian and Ben had walked in just as Grace and Grant entered the hallway from the other end. The two girls rushed to each other, Adrian waddling a little more than running, and embraced.

"It's so good to see you, Adrian!" Grace said cheerfully. "How are you? I've been so busy the last couple of weeks that it seems we've only talked by text." Adrian laughed.

"I know right? But I've been good," she said with a smile, rubbing her belly. "And so has this little one." Ben and Grant merely acknowledged each other with a nod. "Oh!" Adrian suddenly exclaimed, bending just a little bit. Everyone was suddenly on high alert.

"What happened!?" Ben asked in a panic. "Is it time!?" Adrian chuckled.

"Relax, Bennie. Your daughter just decided to kick my bladder and now I have to pee," she explained. "I'll see you all later," she said with a wave as she headed for the bathroom. Grace turned towards Ben and gave him a hug.

"It's good to see you too, Ben. How was your summer?" Ben shrugged.

"Nothing too exciting. Just work and Adrian's doctor appointments. You?"

"Well Grant and I had a good time at Med Camp," Grace replied, looking over at Grant. He nodded in agreement.

"It was intense but also a lot of fun," he replied, a small smile coming to his face as he recalled the challenging yet fun summer he'd had. The first warning bell sounded just then and the trio went their separate ways with a wave, promising to meet up for lunch. Things went along peacefully for a couple of periods but being Grant High, it didn't take long for gossip and speculation to start spreading. As Ricky was placing several textbooks in his locker, Zoe walked over to him with a smirk.

"So is it true?" Ricky continued swapping out his textbooks and notebooks.

"Is what true?" he asked with a bored tone.

"Has the infamous Ricky Underwood finally settled down with his baby mama?" Ricky arched an eyebrow at her questioningly.

"Huh?"

"Oh please, don't play dumb. It's been going around since this summer that you're only hanging out with Amy. So. Is she 'the one' or are you just waiting to sleep with her again?" Ricky continued to look at her with confusion. Zoe rolled her eyes. "Apparently you need it spelled out. You got Amy pregnant so even **your** charm and lies probably won't get her to sleep with you again anytime soon. So, inquiring minds wanna know: what are you up to this time around?" Ricky finally realized Zoe was simply fishing for dirt and he rolled his eyes as he shut his locker door.

"My business is my business," he said cryptically and walked off, leaving an amused Zoe in his wake, who pulled out her phone and fired off a text. The girl grapevine started buzzing immediately, via text and whispers, with speculation about how long Ricky's fidelity would last and by lunchtime it also included speculation about whether or not Amy and Ricky were sleeping together yet. The bell rang for lunch and Alice headed to the girls bathroom. A few moments later several girls came in chatting away. Alice heard bags moving around and knew they were getting ready to reapply their makeup_. Some girls are so vapid_ she thought with irritation.

"So how long do you think she'll hold out?" a girl asked. Another girl scoffed.

"Not long."

"Why do you say that?" a third girl asked.

"He got her to sleep with him once, or so she says, and Ricky has no problem getting girls in bed," the second girl replied. Alice recognized the voice of the second girl as belonging to Zoe.

"Yeah, but he also got her pregnant so she'll probably hold out for a **least** a little while," the first girl said. Now Alice recognized the voice of the first girl as belonging to Rachel, a girl who was a year ahead of her; she and Alice were both in the advanced ceramics class.

"True. But even Adrian always gave in eventually. Why do you think he kept going back to her?" Zoe asked.

"Hey, do you think Amy'll get pregnant again?" Rachel asked, a little too excitedly.

"What are you so excited about?" Rachel chuckled darkly.

"Think about it. Adrian was so jealous of Amy for having Ricky's baby and it would be like rubbing it in her face if Amy had a second kid with him. Adrian may be having Ben's baby but we all know she wishes it were Ricky's." This time Zoe and the third girl laughed.

"Yeah, she tried pretty hard to keep him away from Amy. It would only serve her right if he knocked her up again," Zoe agreed.

"Then again, I kinda feel bad for Amy. I mean, she's stuck with the guy for the rest of her life because of their kid. Just like Ben's stuck with Adrian," the third girl said.

"Yeah," Rachel agreed, pity lacing her voice. "Poor Ben. Forever stuck dealing with that vindictive, manipulative, cheating, tramp. You do kinda have to feel for the poor guy."

"Yeah. He and Amy should've ended up together," Zoe declared.

"How do you figure?" Rachel asked.

"They're both naïve and ended up being used by a horn dog." The third girl snorted.

"Did you just call Adrian a horn dog?"

"Well if the shoe fits," Zoe said dismissively. "Too bad Ricky and Adrian screwed everything up for those two." The other two girls murmured their agreement as they finished reapplying their makeup and left the bathroom. Alice waited until she heard the door close to exit her stall, not wanting them to know their conversation had been overheard. _Why can't people just get on with their lives and mind their own business_ she thought hotly as she washed her hands. _Hasn't he been through enough? Isn't he about to have his life changed forever!?_ She yanked out several paper towels as though they'd personally offended her and she quickly dried her hands, still slightly fuming that people were still gossiping about her best friend_. I know Adrian's not the __**nicest**__ person in the world but everybody's got a little good inside them somewhere. Right?_ While Alice fumed, Ricky headed outside to find Amy and spotted her at a table with Madison, Lauren, Justin and Jesse. The girls looked irritated and the guys simply looked confused.

"What's going on?" Ricky asked cautiously as he took a seat across from Amy. Amy shook her head.

"Oh, not much. Just that it seems we're the only ones who did any maturing over the summer around here." At his confused expression she explained. "The girls overheard several whispered conversations in the hall this morning about you and me. Apparently most of the female population, and quite a bit of the male one, wants to know how long we'll last." Ricky rolled his eyes. "Yeah. That's basically what I said." Justin chimed in with a question.

"I know I'm kinda new to this little circle of friends so would someone mind telling me what the problem is?" Madison gave him a death glare and he quickly explained himself. "I mean I know no one likes when people gossip about their friends, but honestly, sweetie, we're in high school. It's kinda what teens do. Everything blows over eventually right?" He directed his question to the table at large, looking at everyone in turn for confirmation. Amy agreed.

"He's right," she said as she leaned forward so she could see both Madison and Lauren's faces. "People will get bored eventually. We'll just have to ignore them in the meantime and not give 'em anything to gossip about." The two girls nodded in agreement and continued eating their lunches. Amy turned towards Ricky and noticed a thoughtful expression on his face. "What?"

"I'm wondering if some of the gossip is my fault," he admitted.

"What do you mean?" she asked before taking a bite of her tuna sandwich. Ricky sighed.

"Well Zoe sorta snuck up on me at my locker earlier this morning asking if I'd finally 'settled down with you', as she put it, and I sorta blew her off." Jesse chuckled, causing everyone to look at him.

"Sorry. It's just….how do you sorta blow somebody off?"

"Well….I gave her kind of a cryptic message and I guess she used her imagination and ran with it." It was Amy's turn to look confused.

"What'd you say to her?"

"I told her my business is my business then walked off and headed to my next class." Lauren rolled her eyes.

"So naturally she assumed you were hiding something and here we are," she said sarcastically before taking a bite of her lasagna. Justin sighed as he twirled around his spaghetti with his fork.

"High school is so stupid sometimes." Everyone murmured their agreement. Across the lawn at another table Adrian, Ben, Henry, Grace and Grant were enjoying their lunch when Alice walked over and plunked herself down next to Henry, a slight scowl on her face. Henry, figuring it was better to be safe than sorry, spoke up.

"Whatever I did I'm sorry." Alice blanched slightly at his words and gave him a suspicious look before her scowl returned.

"It's not you, Hank. It's the stupid gossiping Gerties at this school," she explained.

"Who had the audacity to gossip about my woman?'" Henry asked with a false bravado tone. Alice smacked him on the back of the head.

"First of all, we've been over this; I'm not your woman. I'm the woman you happen to be dating and sleeping with, not your personal property. Secondly, they weren't gossiping about me."

"Then what are you so upset about?" Henry asked with confusion, rubbing the back of his head.

"They were talking about Ben." Ben looked up from his sandwich to ask what they'd been saying when Alice let out a frustrated breath. "Don't people have problems of their own to worry about? Must they speculate about other people's love lives so much!?" She opened her lunch pail and pulled out an apple, taking a large angry bite out of it. Ben swallowed, stealing himself for her answer.

"What were they saying exactly?" he asked cautiously. Alice gave him a considering look.

"Basically that they think you and Amy make a better couple and they're sorry you're having a baby with Adrian." Ben choked on the soda he had just taken a sip of as Adrian tossed down her half eaten banana.

"Who was it!?" she demanded. "I'll give 'em a piece of my mind!" Alice just shook her head.

"Don't bother. These particular girls have an ax to grind against you and Ricky so they'll probably gossip about you two, and anyone involved with you two, 'til they're blue in the face," Alice stated matter-of-factly, taking another bite of her apple. Ben looked over at Adrian sadly, feeling bad that people were gossiping about her. Grace reached over and gave Adrian's wrist a comforting squeeze.

"Pay them no mind, Adrian. If they don't have the decency to say something to your face than they're cowardly. Don't let them get under your skin," Grace reasoned with her. Adrian huffed and crossed her arms.

"It looks like it's gonna be a new year with the same drama around here," Adrian said disgruntledly. The other teens at the table murmured their agreement and finished their lunches in contemplative silence.

During the second to last period, Amy asked to be excused from her history class to use the restroom. The teacher gave her a hall pass and Amy headed towards the second floor girls' bathroom. She had just exited the stall when two girls in Amy's year came in. Seeing Amy they sauntered over to her.

"So is it true?" the first girl asked.

"Is what true?" Amy asked nonchalantly, not taking the bait.

"About you and Ricky Underwood!" she pressed. Amy just gave her a blank stare, waiting for the punch line as she rinsed her hands and turned off the faucet. The girl huffed. "How'd you do it?"

"Do what?" Amy said with confusion as she made her way to the paper towel dispenser.

"Oh come on!" the second girl chimed in. "It's all over school. The infamous Ricky Underwood has finally settled down, with **you**! So how'd you do it?" Amy tossed her used paper towels in the trashcan and rolled her eyes as she opened the door. She walked out without giving them an answer and made her way back to her classroom. After the final bell rang, Amy found Ricky waiting for her at her locker and smiled at him.

"Hey you," she said as she began spinning her combination to open her locker.

"Hey yourself," he said, giving her a smile of his own. "So how was the rest of your day?" he asked cautiously. Amy could hear his unspoken question and answered it.

"Two girls came up to me in the bathroom sixth period and asked me what I'd done to get you to 'settle down' with me. I didn't answer them." Ricky nodded in agreement as Amy shut her locker and they made their way to the parking lot.

"So much for avoiding drama this year," he said sarcastically.

"Don't be like that. We knew people were gonna talk about us regardless. That doesn't mean we have to let 'em get to us." She stopped at her driver's side door and turned to face him. "We know our relationship's solid," she reminded him with a smile as she grasped her locket. Ricky's eyes followed the gesture. "Their opinions don't matter." He smiled at her words and gave her a kiss. "Have a good day at work," she told him with a smile.

"You too. I'll call you tonight."

"'Kay." Ricky opened the door for her and shut it once she was seated inside. He watched her drive off before heading to his own car and driving to work. After arriving at the butcher shop, Ben and Ricky crossed paths at the time clock. They greeted each other with a nod and then got to work, both lost in their own head space.

_Is it too much to ask for one year without a ton of drama and gossip?_ Ben wondered as he retrieved a slab of ribs from the walk-in fridge to slice up. _Why do teenagers feel the need to weigh-in on other people's relationships? So Amy and I broke up again. People breakup all the time, __**especially**__ in high school_ he mused with frustration as he began cutting the ribs to the appropriate size for the display trays. _They don't get to vote on who I should be dating so they should do a better job of keeping their opinions to themselves. And it's still bugging me that people are talking about the mother of my child! They don't even know her! Not the __**real**__ her anyway. They only know her reputation, and people can change. Right? They should give her some credit for __**trying**__ to change_ he thought resolutely as he finished slicing the rack of ribs and arranging them on their trays.

At another workstation Ricky was wrapping different sized pork chops and steaks into butcher paper and arranging them on their respective trays. _Is our high school really so boring that no one else has done __**anything**__ gossip worthy since the end of last school year. Why are they so interested in us!? Okay, so I built myself a bad reputation and Amy's family was a little nuts but why does that automatically mean we're not allowed to change!? Why is it so gossip worthy that I've fallen in love with a great girl and I'm faithful to her, even though we're not sleeping together?_ He took the empty meat trays to the dishes area and then began sanitizing his workstation. _I mean, it's not like Amy and I aren't sleeping together because she doesn't trust me. I'm still attracted to her. _His mind suddenly flashed back to the day they had taken John to the beach and a goofy grin began to spread across Ricky's face as he remembered the vision of Amy in that yellow bikini. It got even wider as he reminisced about all the make out sessions they'd shared since they officially became a couple. Bunny noticed and approached him.

"Havin' a good day?" she asked half sarcastically and half amused. Ricky snapped out of his little flashback and gave Bunny a sheepish look.

"Sorry," he said quickly, hurriedly finishing the sanitation of the counter. Bunny gave him a small smile.

"I've got a conference call to make so I need you and Ben to both man the register for a bit; I already told Ben," she informed him as she headed to her office in the back. Ricky carried his trays of wrapped steaks to the counter to load into the display cases. The two boys crossed paths at the main counter as they loaded their respective meat trays into their appropriate display slots but were still too preoccupied to do much more than make small talk about their first day back at school, having not fully resolved their relationship/friendship over the summer. _I'm gonna have to do something about that_ Ricky decided. _But not today._ Their shift completed uneventfully and they punched out and went their separate ways.


	3. The Past Comes Knocking

Being the first day of school, Ricky had no homework, so he decided to goof off online after his dinner and wait for Amy to put John down for the night before calling to shoot the breeze. As he was waiting for John's bedtime to draw closer, there was a knock at his door.

"Who is it?" he called out as he made his way to the door.

"It's me," came the reply.

"Me who?"

"Ricky, open the door!" the person said with frustration. He did so and found his mother standing there. She smiled and gave him a hug, one he was momentarily too surprised to return.

"What are you doing here?" he asked as he stepped back to let her inside. She stepped inside and then turned to face him.

"Ruben got me out early and apparently I have you to thank for that so, thanks," she explained.

"You're welcome," he said as he closed the door. "But that doesn't explain what you're doing here," he said again. She shrugged.

"I need a place to crash until I can find my own place and I was wondering…if I could stay with you for a few days." Ricky shook his head.

"Oh no. I love you but I don't want you around John just yet." Pain and sadness flashed in Nora's eyes briefly before she quickly pushed those feelings aside.

"Ok, ok, I get it. You don't want me in the way." Nora headed towards the door to leave and Ricky momentarily panicked.

"Where you going?" he asked a little too quickly.

"I'll just stay with a friend."

"What kind of friend?" he asked suspiciously. Nora let out an amused huff.

"Don't worry, she's my sponsor. She's not expecting me but I'll stop by and see what happens." She gave him a small smile before turning back towards the door. Ricky was overcome with guilt and sighed.

"Wait." Nora turned back towards him curiously. Ricky's demeanor softened. "You can stay tonight." She may not have been the mother he needed or deserved growing up, but Nora still knew him well enough to know he wasn't asking her to stay out of the goodness of his heart; he was worried about what would happen to her if he didn't know where she was. She gave him a knowing look.

"I'll be fine, Ricky," she assured him.

"Please," he said, his tone pleading with her. Ricky didn't understand why but for some reason part of him wanted her to stay with him and the more she tried to leave the more desperately he wanted his mother to stay. Some part of him knew this was twisted but he'd dissect it later. Nora finally relented and agreed. As his mother settled her small bag of belongings in the bedroom and then went to take a shower, Ricky made up the couch for the night and tried to rein in his emotions as past memories came flooding to the surface and mixed with his memories of Amy. His mother and Amy were nothing alike. While his mother was a pot head and an alcoholic who'd abandoned him when he needed her most, he knew Amy would never subject their son to the same fate. He knew Amy would do whatever it took to make sure John was loved, protected and taken care of. And part of him envied John for it; John had the kind of mother he'd always wanted growing up. Even though he had Margaret in his life now, she hadn't been there the first thirteen years of his life. While he could remember his mother hugging him, spending time with him when the two of them went on occasional outings for ice cream, and, sometimes, cooking for and taking care of him, when she was sober at least, there were times he'd just needed his mother to make him feel safe. When Bob hurt him, he wanted and needed his mother and she wasn't there. Or she was but she was too high or drunk to be of any real help to him.

Ricky sighed as he checked his phone to see what time it was. Even after everything he'd been through as a kid, even after talking to his mother a few months ago and finding out that she'd been just as much a victim as he'd been, if not more so in some aspects, he had a love-hate relationship with her. At the end of the day he loved his mother, even though he still had a hard time outright forgiving her for not being the mother to him that she should've been. Ricky sat down and put his head in his hands. Seeing his mother always generated a storm of emotions. In the past whenever those emotions bubbled to the surface he'd go out and hook up with a girl just so he could feel good for a little while but he knew sex wasn't the answer this time. He took several deep breaths to try and calm himself as he suddenly drew a mental blank. He knew ways to calm himself down and he'd also learned calming techniques from Dr. Fields but for some reason he couldn't seem to remember what any of them were; his mind just couldn't focus. He tried to recall past sessions but instead a single word kept resounding in his mind as though someone were standing next to him whispering it in his ear: Amy. Amy knew him. Amy loved him. He would be safe with Amy. She would be able to help him calm down, to re-center himself. Nora came out of the bathroom just as Ricky was pulling on his jacket and grabbing his car keys.

"Where you goin'?" Nora asked with confusion. Ricky replied by shaking his head.

"I'll be back later," he told her as he headed to the door. He stopped as he was halfway out the door and turned his head to the side to look at her. "Please don't burn the place down." Nora rolled her eyes as he shut the door and left. Ricky walked quickly towards his car and got in, almost desperate to get the Amy. He drove in a haze, his muscles driving him to Amy's house based on muscle memory alone. The closer he got to the Juergens house the more his emotions threatened to bubble over. All he wanted to do was hug Amy and pour out his soul to her and beg her to make the pain go away. He parked on the street in front of the house and practically jumped out of the car. Somehow he remembered to knock instead of ringing to the doorbell so as not to wake the barely asleep toddlers. To his eternal relief, Amy answered the door. She was slightly alarmed by his expression. His eyes were glossy with unshed tears, he was visibly shaking and his face was tight with tension. Before she could ask him what was wrong he grabbed her shoulders and pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her. Amy instinctively wrapped her arms around him and remained silent, waiting for him to speak, knowing simply from his expression and the tension in his body that at that moment he simply needed to hold onto her. The instant Amy was in his arms the scent of her shampoo filled his nostrils and he started shaking even more, afraid that if he let go of her, his anchor, he'd drown in his jumbled emotions and painful memories. Amy simply hugged Ricky tighter.

"I'm here," she said quietly. It was enough to make the tears fall. Amy gently backed them into the house and shut the door. As Ricky silently cried she gently ran the fingers of her left hand through his hair while she rubbed his back in soothing circles with her right. Having heard someone knocking on the front door, George came around the corner from the staircase, intent on answering the door. Amy turned her head slightly to the left towards the sound and caught her father's eye. He silently asked for an explanation but Amy slightly shook her head, letting him know she didn't have any answers to give him just then. George took the hint and left them alone.

"Who was at the door?" Anne asked him when he came into the kitchen. She was putting detergent in the dishwasher so she could run it.

"Ricky." George glanced over his shoulder for a moment towards the hallway leading to the front door. He got closer to Anne and then whispered. "I don't know what's going on but I think it's pretty bad." Anne became worried and looked in the direction of the front hallway. George could see the mothering wheels turning and headed her off at the pass. "I'm sure they'll tell us when they're ready." Anne understood George's unspoken advice that they should give them some privacy and gave him a smile to let him know she'd caught his drift. She closed the dishwasher door, turned it on and put away the dishwasher detergent. Anne waited while George double checked that the back doors were locked and then they turned off the kitchen lights and headed upstairs. Amy saw the lights go off and knew she and Ricky were now alone downstairs. She pulled back slightly so they were looking in each other's eyes.

"Come on," she said gently, pulling back to take his hand and lead him into the living room. She sat on the couch, grabbing a throw pillow and placing it on her lap as she did so. She motioned for Ricky to lie down and he did so, facing away from her. She began stroking his head with her right hand and placed her left on his shoulder; Ricky reached up with his left hand and grabbed it. He drew it down so he could kiss the back of her hand and then he simply continued to hold her hand in his. They were silent for quite some time, Amy silently comforting her boyfriend and giving him time to compose his thoughts. The silence was only broken by Ricky's occasional sniffle. Finally the tears stopped flowing and Ricky found his voice.

"My mom dropped by tonight." Amy stayed silent, sensing he wasn't finished. "And just like the last time I saw her, all the bad memories and emotions came flooding back." He became too choked with emotion to say anything else.

"It's gonna be alright, Ricky. It's gonna be alright." Ricky shook his head.

"Every time I think I'm okay, that I've put it behind me, it's right there, reminding me of what happened! When is it gonna stop!?" he asked desperately as several more tears fell.

"I can't answer that, Ricky. All I know is that you don't have to deal with it alone. You've got me this time around and I'm not going anywhere." She squeezed his hand to emphasis her point and he turned so he was lying on his back and gave her a watery smile.

"I know." She smiled lovingly back at him. They simply stared at each other for a few moments before Ricky spoke again, this time much more calmly. "Do you know why I came over tonight?" He was slightly confused when she nodded and she smiled at his expression.

"When you pulled me close on the porch a little bit ago I knew you just needed or wanted to hold me. I didn't know why but it didn't matter. I'll always be here for you." She knew her words had helped him because she felt his body relax slightly. He took a few deep breaths before he spoke again.

"We've never really talked about my childhood much." He broke eye contact and looked down at his shirt. "It was dark and painful, Amy, and I just never wanted to burden you with it." She chuckled, causing him to look back up at her.

"Burdens are a lot easier to deal with when you share them with someone." He shook his head.

"This is different."

"How so?" she asked curiously.

"Because I love you too much." Amy's brows furrowed.

"You lost me, sweetie." Ricky licked his suddenly dry lips and swallowed a lump that had risen in his throat.

"You don't have a lot of experience with the darker side of life, Amy. You know my parents were alcoholic drug addicts and my dad was abusive but you don't know what it's like to **live** with people like that. It warps you, Amy, and I didn't wanna be the person who introduced you to the source of all, well, most, of my warpedness and baggage." He began to tear up again and his voice cracked. "Compared to me you're still basically a saint, Amy, and I love you too much to taint you with my past."

"Oh, Ricky," she said compassionately. She leaned down to kiss his forehead. "You can't claim to love someone without loving all of them. **Including** their baggage and warpedness," she told him with a smile.

"There's a little more to it than that, Amy." Her eyes told him she didn't understand and he sighed dejectedly. "Usually when all these emotions and dark memories bubble up I go for a long walk or go do something athletic or go have sex but this time the only thing I wanted to do, the only thing that I knew would help, was to come see you. I knew that if I could just get to you I'd be okay." The tears began to fall again and Ricky didn't bother to wipe them away. "You love me, Amy. I know that I'm safe with you. Being with you makes everything okay for me and part of me feels guilty about that."

"Why on earth would you feel guilty about something like that?"

"Because it seems like a lot of responsibility to put on someone. Like I'm asking you to **personally** make the pain from my past go away." He broke eye contact again, turning his head to the side with frustration. Amy gently used her right hand to turn his head back towards her.

"Ricky." He couldn't bring himself to look up at her. "Ricky," she said again a little more firmly but still he couldn't bring himself to look at her. "Richard Matthew Underwood," she said more firmly. Ricky took a deep breath and tilted his head back to look up at her, his eyes filled with wariness. Amy looked at him softly. "You have nothing to feel guilty about. It's only natural to wanna go somewhere you feel safe and loved when you feel outta control. When you feel bad all you want is to be with someone who loves you." She gave him a soft smile. "And I'm **honored** that I'm one of those someones for you."

"You're the only someones," he corrected her. "I mean, someone," he said once he realized he'd just used Amy's made up word. Amy giggled and then leaned down to kiss his forehead again.

"I love you Richard Underwood," she assured him as she sat back up. "I'll always be here whenever you want to talk, or not talk. And I'll help you deal with this, if you wanna share it with me." He looked at her thoughtfully as he wrestled with a decision.

"I'd like to share **some** of it with you, Amy. Just promise you won't judge me and love me any less?" he asked, his voice filled with trepidation. She reassured him with a brief kiss on the lips.

"Like I said, sweetie. I love **all** of you, baggage included. And I promise. No judgment." He relaxed even more and she smiled. "Do you wanna crash here tonight?" He nodded and sat up so Amy could stand. She tossed the pillow on the couch and held out her hand to him. He took it and gave her a questioningly look. She simply smiled and began turning off the living room lights as she headed towards the stairs. When she began to climb them, still holding his hand, Ricky stopped in his tracks.

"Um…." Amy giggled.

"I know you don't wanna be alone right now and we both need to get some sleep," she began to explain. "If my parents are upset about it in the morning I'll take the heat for it." She turned to continue up the stairs and Ricky went with her. She closed her bedroom door behind them and let go of Ricky's hand. He sat on the left side of the bed and removed his shoes and jacket while she climbed into bed from the right side. He looked over his shoulder at her nervously and she smiled, reading his mind.

"You can take off your pants and shirt if you'd be more comfortable. Like I said, I'll explain in the morning." Ricky nodded and stripped to his boxers before sliding under the covers next to Amy and turning off the lamp on her nightstand. When Ricky was settled comfortably Amy slid closer and snuggled against him. He wrapped his left arm around her as she kissed his cheek. "Goodnight, Ricky."

"Goodnight, Amy. And Amy?"

"Hmm?"

"Thanks."

"Anytime."


	4. Emotional Storms

The sound of Amy's alarm clock slowly dragged her out of dreamland and she reached over to swat it off. Instead of her hand touching metal, it touched only her sheet and her body was blocked from moving over further to find the source of the offending sound by something warm and solid. As she slowly opened her eyes, she realized that the something in her way was her boyfriend and she smiled sleepily. She also found that she was securely tucked up against him. When she tried to move out of his embrace, Ricky pulled her closer.

"Five more minutes, ma," he said sleepily. Amy giggled and Ricky's eyes slowly opened. When he realized he was staring at the amused, sleep-relaxed face of his girlfriend, he smiled.

"Hello, beautiful," he said drowsily. Amy kissed his cheek.

"Hello to you too, handsome." She untangled herself from his embrace, which caused him to momentarily whine his displeasure about not having her next to him anymore, but his whine quickly turned into a chuckle as Amy suddenly recoiled with a look of alarm on her face that was quickly joined by a red flush of embarrassment. She had attempted to climb over Ricky to turn off her alarm clock when she felt something soft but firm against her leg. She'd realized almost a split second after she felt it that her boyfriend currently had an erection and her mind had taken a short trip into the gutter, a trip that left her embarrassed and at a loss for words. Ricky turned off her alarm and then smiled at her mischievously.

"Care to share?" he asked teasingly, knowing Amy would be too embarrassed to tell him how far down the gutter her mind had just gone. And as expected, she shook her head profusely. He chuckled and leaned up to kiss her perplexed cheek. "Relax, angel. It happens to every guy every morning. You didn't cause it." Ricky decided to push her buttons just a little bit and added, "This time." Amy gasped and shoved him slightly.

"Ricky!" she hissed, more embarrassed than outraged. She climbed out of bed and grabbed her robe. "I'll get John ready while you get dressed," she said, pulling on her robe as she walked out of her bedroom, making sure to close the door behind her. She entered the boys' room and found John wide awake, playing with his bear. He looked up when he heard the door open and smiled when he saw her.

"Mama!" he said happily, reaching up for her. Amy couldn't help but smile back.

"And how's my little man doing this morning?'" she asked in a whisper so as not to wake Robbie, who was **not** a morning person. She kissed the top of his head and then headed to his dresser to get his outfit for the day. She held his clothes in one hand and scooped him up with the other, carrying both to the changing table. _He's getting a little big for this_ she thought sadly as she changed his diaper and then dressed him. Once he was dressed and his favorite bear was securely in his arm, Amy carried him back to her bedroom. She knocked to make sure Ricky was dressed.

"Come in," came the whispered reply. John smiled when he saw Ricky.

"Daddy!" Ricky smiled and took John from Amy, kissing his cheek.

"Hey buddy. You all ready for your day?" John nodded. Ricky turned towards Amy.

"I'll get him fed while you get ready. And if I run into your parents I'll explain." Amy was at her closet and looked over her left shoulder at him, shaking her head.

"It was my idea for you to spend the night. I'll explain." Ricky walked towards her and kissed her forehead.

"And I chose to stay." They shared a look of understanding before Ricky headed downstairs with John. In the kitchen Ricky found George pouring himself a cup of coffee. He looked at Ricky and noticed he was wearing the same clothes he had on yesterday and arched in eyebrow in question as he took a sip of his coffee.

"I crashed here last night." George nodded but didn't press the issue. Ricky put John in his high chair just as Anne came downstairs carrying a grumpy looking Robbie.

"Morning, Ricky."

"Morning, Anne."

"Have you had breakfast yet?" she asked while depositing Robbie in his own high chair and securing him in, Robbie pouting the entire time.

"No, but I'll just grab something on the way to school." Anne waved him off.

"There's plenty. Go ahead and fix yourself a plate." Ricky looked nervously between George and Anne. He knew they wouldn't be thrilled that he'd slept over without their permission so he felt too guilty to eat breakfast with them. When he didn't move, Anne turned to look at him, noticing his nervous expression. "Are you alright, Ricky? You look a little pale." Ashley came into the kitchen and heard the tail end of her mother's question. She looked at Ricky and noticed that he did indeed look a little pale.

"You're not gonna like pass out on us or something are you? Maybe you should sit down." Ricky shook his head and realized if he didn't explain himself things were only going to get more awkward.

"I'm fine. It's just that you might change your mind about that breakfast offer after I tell you what I need to tell you," he explained, looking at Anne and George.

"Does this have anything to do with why you were so upset last night?" Anne asked gently. Ricky swallowed and nodded.

"Uh, yeah. See my mom, my birth mom, dropped by last night and it just sorta brought up a lot of bad memories and things and I just really needed to see Amy and kinda process it all, you know? And well. We talked for a little bit and then….I crashed here last night." Ricky knew he'd rambled his explanation but the thought of making things tense between himself and Amy's family again made him nervous. Anne gave him a comforting smile.

"Well good." Everyone gave her a disbelieving look. She looked at everyone in turn and shrugged. "What? If he was too upset to drive safely then I'm glad he stayed here last night instead of trying to drive anywhere." She turned towards the breakfast warming on the stove and began fixing Robbie and John's plates.

"Uh…" Ricky began nervously. George sighed.

"What?" George asked, setting down his coffee mug to fix his own plate of food.

"I, uh, crashed in Amy's bed. With Amy in it." He looked up nervously and saw George trying to control his angry remark. Ashley tried to hide a smile. Even though she'd matured some over the summer, she still enjoyed an awkward situation every now and then. Amy came into the kitchen just then and Ricky caught her eye, silently pleading for help. She glanced at her parents faces and realized Ricky told them about last night's impromptu sleepover.

"He was the kinda upset where you don't wanna be alone so we shared my bed last night. Nothing happened and it was my suggestion." She gave George a pointed look. "So please don't lecture my boyfriend about it." She walked over and kissed his cheek for good measure and then gave him a pleasant smile. "We were good. I promise." Ashley suddenly laughed, causing everyone in the kitchen, including the two toddlers, to look in her direction.

"Sorry. It's just that I totally just saw the wind go outta dad's sails and the look on his face mixed with the look in his eyes was just priceless." Anne tried to hide a smile but George noticed it out of the corner of his eye.

"What?" he asked grumpily as he plopped a spoonful of hash browns on his plate. Anne gave him an amused smile.

"Sorry, George, but I saw it too. That look was pretty priceless." George looked at Ricky with irritation lacing his features.

"Maybe you should stay over more often. I'm out numbered here without another man to talk to." He turned to join Ashely at the table but stopped mid stride and looked back at Ricky. "Scratch that. No more sleepovers unless we know about it." He gave Amy a pointed look and then looked at Anne for backup.

"Your dad's right, Amy. While the two of you may be responsible young adults, we also know you're teenagers and regardless of how upfront and honest you are with us, impromptu sleepovers make us nervous." The two teens blushed.

"Mom!" Amy said with embarrassment. Ashley chuckled again.

"Well don't just stand there you two. Get some breakfast," Anne scolded them. Ricky and Amy fixed themselves plates and then everyone finished their meal without another mention of last night's sleep over. Breakfast finished, everyone quickly loaded their dishes and finished getting ready for their day. Ricky walked Amy to her car, carrying John, and buckled him into his car seat while she got their bags situated.

"See at school," she told him with a smile. He returned it and gave her a kiss.

"See at school." Ricky drove back to his apartment and walked in to find his mother eating cereal.

"Have fun?" she asked, eating a spoonful of cereal.

"Huh?" he asked, tossing his jacket on the back of a dining chair and heading to his room.

"You didn't come back last night so I can only presume you slept over at a lady friend's," she explained, raising her voice slightly so he could hear her from his bedroom. Ricky rolled his eyes as he came out of his room carrying a change of clothes.

"I don't have time for this right now." He headed to the bathroom and showered and changed in record time. As he collected his backpack, jacket and keys to head back out, Nora asked him another question.

"What, no breakfast? It's the most important meal of the day, so people tell me." Ricky looked over his shoulder at her as he zipped up his backpack.

"I already ate. See you after school." And with that he was out the door. Nora took another bite of her cereal dejectedly.

"So much for catching up." She continued eating her cereal, looking at all the pictures Ricky had of John on the fridge. As she finished eating and began washing up her dishes, she took a closer look. The girl with him was obviously John's mother. Amy was her name, is she remembered correctly. Nora sighed as she rinsed her dishes and dried her hands. She wondered if it would ever stop hurting that her son called someone else mom, that her son thought of someone else as his mother. She had no one to blame but herself, but that didn't stop it from hurting. She smiled as she looked at the pictures. _Ricky's obviously being a much better parent than I ever was. And __**definitely**__ a much better father than Bob._ She sighed as she picked up her purse and headed down to the butcher shop. _I just wish I could meet my grandson sooner rather than later._

Back at Grant High Amy was anxiously waiting for Ricky in the parking lot. Ricky noticed her standing there as he pulled into the parking lot and parked next to her SUV. Amy jogged over to the driver's side door and when Ricky got out the first thing he noticed was her worried expression.

"What's wrong!? Did something happen with John this morning!?" he asked anxiously. Amy stilled for a moment and then shook her head with a chuckle.

"No. I just wanted to make sure you're doing okay." His demeanor softened at her concern for him and he gave her a hug.

"I'm okay, for now," he assured her. He released her to set his car alarm and then slung an arm over her shoulder as they headed inside. They walked in companionable silence until they reached Amy's locker. "Can we have lunch by ourselves today? So we can talk?" Amy nodded as she placed her purse inside and grabbed the textbooks she'd need for her first few classes. She shut her locker and turned to face him.

"Where do you wanna meet?"

"How about you meet me at my locker and then we'll find a quiet spot together?"

"Okay." She leaned in and they shared a quick kiss. "See you in class." Ricky smiled as he watched her walk towards the bathroom, happy they had band together first period. Down the adjoining hallway, Ben was heading towards his first class when he noticed Adrian placing a bunch of bags in her locker. Curiously he headed over to her and his eyes widened slightly when he saw that the bags in question all contained food.

"Good heavens woman! What's with all the food?" Adrian laughed at his alarmed expression.

"Dr. Atavi said I need to eat lots of small meals throughout the day at this point in my pregnancy so I packed snacks to eat between classes." Ben's eyes widened even more as he took another look at the food filling part of Adrian's locker.

"You're gonna eat all that in one day!?" Adrian laughed again as she shut her locker and readjusted the strap of her book bag.

"Yes, Benny." She rubbed her belly. "I **am** eating for two you know," she reminded him teasingly. They chatted about Adrian's upcoming appointment on Friday until the warning bell rang and then went their separate ways. Because Ricky was more focused on his lunch discussion with Amy instead of his schoolwork, the rest of the morning seemed to pass unbearably slow for him. His physics teacher scolded him twice for not paying attention, his history teacher had a monotone voice that made it almost **too** easy to zone out and daydream, his mind just couldn't care less about correctly conjugating his French verbs, and today calculus just seemed like such a waste of time. The only redeeming part of the morning was that he'd gotten to see Amy for an entire class period and, thanks to the way the band room was set up, he had an unobstructed view of the horn section that allowed him to watch Amy to his heart's content. He inwardly breathed a sigh of relief when the lunch bell rang and he could walk out of his calculus class. He quickly walked to his locker, swapped out his textbooks and grabbed out his lunch. He was leaning against his locker waiting when Amy came around the corner.

"So where to?" she asked when she reached him.

"Let's eat in my car," he suggested. "That way no one will overhear anything," he said seriously. He held his hand out to her and she took it. They made their way to the parking lot and headed for Ricky's car. They climbed into the back seat and got comfortable.

"You still doing okay?" Amy asked worriedly, opening her lunch bag and removing a sandwich. Ricky rocked his head back and forth as he considered how to answer.

"Yes and no?" he replied with a smirk, causing Amy to chuckle.

"Okay. Meaning?" she pressed, taking a bite of her sandwich.

"Meaning I'm not sure where to start exactly," he admitted, taking his own sandwich out of his lunch bag.

"They say the beginning is always a good place to start," she suggested. Ricky shook his head.

"I'm not sure that's true in this case." Amy opened her small bag of Doritos and ate several, waiting for him to continue. "Because right now all I can think about is how different you and my mom are and it makes me angry," he admitted, opening a can of soda and taking a long drink.

"Why are you angry that we're so different?" Amy asked, unable to work out for herself what Ricky's statement meant. He glanced at her quickly and then looked down at the seat.

"Remember how you promised you wouldn't judge me?" Amy reached over and squeezed his hand.

"I remember. Just let it out, Ricky." He took a deep breath and then looked her in the eye.

"Having my mom around makes me jealous of John." Of all the things Amy thought he might say, that was nowhere on her list, and the surprised look in her eyes told him so. Ricky sighed and shifted on the seat as he put down his sandwich, suddenly no longer interested in eating it. "In a nutshell, I think about how great of a mom you are to John and how my own mom wasn't and it makes me jealous that my son has the kind of mother I wished I had when I was growing up." He looked at her from beneath his lashes to gauge her reaction to his admission and saw that she was mulling over this revelation. "Does that make me a bad person?" Amy picked up her lunch and put it behind her, moved closer to Ricky, and gave him a hug.

"No. It just makes you human." He wasn't sure what he was supposed to do with that statement and his face told her so. "I get it, Ricky. "I used to look at John, knew how much I loved him and wondered how it was possible for my own father to **not** love me that much, since he had an affair and all. It's like, **because** I'm a parent I'm able to see my own parents' shortcomings and wonder about them." She tucked her hair behind her right ear and continued. "So this jealousy you have of John makes perfect sense to me. You see how much I love him and wonder why your mother didn't love you the same way." He gave her a lopsided smile.

"Why does it make so much sense when you explain it?" She gave him a smirk right back.

"Because I know you well enough to know how you think so I know how to word things," she said matter-of-factly, looking behind her to retrieve her sandwich and chips. Ricky chuckled for a moment and then sighed.

"It's just really frustrating because she's my mom. Even though it felt like she'd abandoned me when I was growing up, I still love her and I worry about her." He took another drink from his soda can. "I want her to be safe and sober but I also don't want her around to complicate my life. Wow. Hearing it out loud makes me sound like a horrible son." Amy shook her head.

"It's a perfectly rational reaction. Kinda like us before this summer." She took a bite of her sandwich while Ricky looked at her with confusion.

"How do you figure?" he asked, picking up his sandwich to take another bite. There was a moment of silence while Amy chewed her food and swallowed.

"Remember how we agreed we'd never have a functional relationship so long as I felt I couldn't trust you?" Ricky nodded, remembering their late night discussion. "You care about your mom, so you want her to be okay, but since you feel you can't fully trust her it's better for your sanity if you keep her at arm's length, right?" Ricky nodded, taking his apple out of his lunch bag and taking a bite. Amy opened her bottle of grape juice and took a drink before continuing. "That's your choice. It doesn't make you a bad son," she assured him with a smile. Ricky looked at her thoughtfully for a moment and then chuckled. "What?"

"Turns out you're a better therapist than Dr. Fields." It was Amy's turn to chuckle.

"I don't know about that. It's just that I know you and I've worked through my dysfunctional relationships with my parents and sister so I get having a love-hate relationship with a family member." She paused to finish off her chips.

"True. How's all that going by the way?" he asked, eating more of his apple. Amy took a napkin out of her lunch bag and cleaned her fingers.

"Still good. Ash and I have been talking like normal sisters, well, as normal as sisters are supposed to be I guess. I'm a lot closer to my dad and my mom and I are almost as close as we used to be." Ricky gave her a smile, glad her home life was no longer chaotic. The bell signaling the end of lunch rang and they quickly gathered up their trash and headed back towards the school. They tossed their trash in a trashcan and Ricky leaned over to kiss her cheek.

"Thanks for listening." Amy gave him a smile and wrapped her arm around his.

"Anytime."

"One more thing."

"Yeah?"

"Came we push our dinner back 'til tomorrow? I'm feelin' kinda talked out." Amy smiled.

"Sure."

For the rest of the school day Ricky had no problem staying focused in his classes. Now that Amy had helped him both make sense of and peace with his jealousy of John, Ricky felt a little less weighted down. By the time school ended for the day, Ricky was actually in a good mood. He walked around the corner of a hallway and bumped into Adrian, or rather she bumped into him, too busy sending a text.

"Sorry," Adrian said as she looked up. She was surprised to see Ricky and he was equally surprised to see her. The two hadn't seen much of each other over the summer, even though Adrian often saw his drive up to Amy's house and drive off with her and John in tow. "Hey, Ricky." Ricky inclined his head towards her briefly.

"Adrian." He made a move to walk off and Adrian stepped in front of him.

"What, not even a hello? Or 'how've you been'?" she asked curiously. Even though Ricky was in a good mood, he wasn't in a good enough mood to entertain Adrian at the moment. He looked her straight in the eye.

"Adrian, until you and Amy are acquaintances again, I'd rather not chit chat with you. As long as you rub Amy the wrong way we can't be friends," he told her as politely as he could while still being firm. "I've gotta get to work." Adrian watched him walk away, feeling a little sad. She knew she'd messed up her relationship with Ricky but she still valued the friendship they'd built. She had actually enjoyed talking to him when they were together and they'd both told each other things about their childhoods they hadn't shared with anyone else. Sure she might share some of those things with Ben in time, but at the moment those secrets and admissions were a unique bond she shared with Ricky, at least **she** thought so. _This turning over a new leaf thing is hard_ she thought with frustration as she waddled towards her locker. _Especially when your past mistakes keep getting thrown in your face._ She sent Grace a text as she reached her locker: _Can we hang 4 a bit?_ Grace sent a text back right away: _Sure. My place?_ Adrian responded: _K. C u there_. She quickly grabbed what she needed from her locker and headed to her car to drive over to Grace's.

When Adrian arrived at the Bowmans' she only had to wait for a few minutes before Grace pulled up. Grace parked and waited at the front door for Adrian to reach her. Grace opened the door without a word and then closed it once Adrian was inside.

"So what do you wanna do?" Grace asked her cheerfully, in typical Grace fashion. Adrian sighed.

"Talk."

"Let's grab a snack and then go up to my room," Grace suggested as they headed towards the kitchen, where they found Kathleen getting ready to head out.

"Hi girls," she greeted them, placing her cellphone in her purse. "What are you ladies up to this afternoon?"

"Just hanging out. Girl talk," Grace told her. "We were just gonna grab a snack first."

"Okay. I need to run to the dry cleaners and then stop by the church so you ladies have fun." She gave them a wave and then headed out while the girls rummaged in the fridge. They decided to just make themselves sandwiches when they couldn't find anything they really wanted to munch on. Sandwiches made and glasses of juice poured, they headed to Grace's room and Grace shut the door.

"So did you wanna talk about anything in particular?" Grace asked as she set their glasses on her nightstand and then got comfortable on her bed. Adrian nodded her head and sighed as she got comfortable on Grace's bed and leaned against her headboard.

"I bumped into Ricky after school today," she said, a little forlornly. Grace cocked her head to one side curiously.

"Was it really that bad?" she asked, picking up on Adrian's tone of voice.

"No. Kinda." Adrian let out a frustrated huff. "This starting over stuff is hard!" she whined. "I know I hurt Ricky and he was mad at me for trying to hurt Amy but our relationship wasn't all bad." Grace gave her knee a comforting pat. "But he'd still rather just cut me outta his life completely than try to be friends." She looked at Grace with sadness in her eyes. "It's like I lost a good friend when he stopped talking to me. And he said he still won't talk to me as long as Amy's not okay with having me around."

"Well, are you willing to try and be friends with Amy in order to be friends with Ricky again?"

"I don't know, Grace. That kinda scares me."

"What does?"

"Talking to Amy."

"But I thought the two of you talked this summer. It can't be any harder than it was the last time, right?" Grace suggested. Adrian put her hands on her belly as she chewed her lip nervously. "What?"

"Now that I'm about to be a mom too I'm ashamed of the way I treated her and I'm not sure I deserve her forgiveness."

"Adrian, you can't think like that." Adrian gave her an irritated expression.

"Why not!? Are you saying it's wrong that I feel bad for what I've done!?" Grace chuckled.

"That's not what I meant, Adrian. You said that while you'd like Amy to forgive you you're not sure you deserve it. That kind of thinking is why a lot of people have a hard time becoming a Christian." Adrian rolled her eyes.

"Grace, I love you but please tell me you're not about to preach to me. I know I asked you to help me change my ways but I'm not really interested in going all Christian in my life right now, I just wanna change some of my bad behaviors."

"I get that and I wasn't planning to preach preach." Adrian chuckled this time.

"And how is preaching different from preaching preaching?" Adrian asked with amusement. Grace laughed.

"Maybe I should just explain what I was gonna explain and then you'll understand."

"I'm listening," Adrian said, with partial amusement and partial curiosity.

"It's like this: God says when you become a Christian, he forgives all your past sins; that you start over with a clean slate. The problem a lot of new Christians have with that is they haven't forgiven themselves so they don't believe that God's really forgiven them either. You said you feel ashamed of how you treated Amy and that's good. It means you're listening to your conscience. The problem is that if you don't actually forgive **yourself**, you'll keep feeling guilty about your past with Amy even if you talk to her and she **does** say she forgives you. First you gotta forgive yourself and make the commitment to be a better person. Then, even if the person you've wronged **doesn't** forgive you, you can still keep moving forward in your life." Adrian was silent for a few moments as she processed Grace's words and Grace ate some of her sandwich, giving Adrian time to do so.

"Huh." Grace remained silent for a few more moments, to see if that was the end of Adrian's thought. Adrian gave her a mischievous smile. "So that's the difference between preaching and preaching preaching." The two friends shared a laugh and then Grace nodded.

"Not every Biblical example that comes to my mind has to turn into a full-fledged sermon like Reverend Stone's you know. That particular example just happened to be a good way to help me suggest you think about your relationship with Amy in a different way." Adrian nodded while taking a bite of her sandwich.

"Hey, Grace?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

"For what?"

"Listening to me rant, offering suggestions, and helping me reinvent myself, so to speak."

"That's what friends do," Grace said with a smile.

At Boykewich Butcher Shop, Ricky was trying to adjust to having his mother as a coworker. Bunny obviously hadn't given Nora the talk about not mixing personal business with work because about halfway through their shift Nora decided to chat with him about her housing plans. She came over to his workstation to help him finish off some gift basket orders that had come in just in the nick of time and struck up a conversation.

"So I spoke to my sponsor today and you'll be happy to know I'll be out of your hair tonight." She had tried to use a nonchalant tone but seeing her put up a brave front, as she usually did as part of her coping mechanism, Ricky felt a twinge of guilt.

"You aren't in my hair," he admitted. "I just don't want to completely rearrange my life just because you're in town now," he tried to explain. Nora threw him a bone.

"Ricky, you don't owe me any explanations or excuses. I was there, more or less. I get it," she informed him, getting up to place her completed basket in the designated pickup area. She came back to work on another basket and Ricky tried to think of something to say because for some reason he felt like he owed her an apology, although for what he wasn't sure. "I saw all those pictures of Amy and John on the fridge," she said conversationally. A small smile formed on Ricky's face as he thought about the pictures, remembering the day each had been taken. "He's beautiful," she said with a smile on her face but a slight waver in her voice. "And I'd really like to meet him." Ricky sighed because now he felt torn. He suddenly realized he owed Amy another apology because he suddenly found himself in her shoes, again. He knew his mother could fall off the wagon at some point, and had done so before in the past for one reason or another. He was worried that John would become attached to his grandmother only for her to flake on him and now he suddenly understood, partially, Amy's past fear of John becoming attached to him.

"Mom," there was a pregnant pause as he carefully considered how to phrase the rest of his statement. "I need time." They shared a look of understanding. Nora understood that her son wanted to make sure she had finally turned over a new leaf before entangling her in John's life and she couldn't blame him for that. Nora inwardly breathed a sigh of relief. _It wasn't a no so that means there's hope for us yet._ At the end of their shift Ricky and Nora headed up to his apartment so they could both shower and change. He planned to go over to Amy's and offered his mom a ride to her sponsor's house, which she accepted. Just like the last time he had dropped her off, Ricky felt torn about watching his mother walk away. However, this time he knew he'd see her at work the next day, hopefully. He waited until she'd gone into the house and then headed to Amy's. Anne opened the door when he rang the bell, a haggard look on her face and Robbie screaming in the background.

"Everything alright," he asked worriedly as he stepped inside. Anne nodded.

"Yes. We simply have a toddler in the house," Anne told him, not bothering to explain her statement further. Ricky followed her into the house and passed a wailing Robbie in his playpen in the living room; he followed Anne towards the kitchen to avoid the screaming. _Man that kid can wail._ In the dining room he found a disgruntled looking Ashley and stopped to see if she was alright.

"You alright?" he asked, causing Ashley to fix him with an annoyed glare; he recoiled slightly. "Do I wanna know?" he asked cautiously. Ashley flipped her hair over her shoulder and rolled her eyes while exhaling.

"So I left my homework on the table, mistakenly thinking it would be safe, as I went to use the bathroom, only to come back and find that my little brother had reached up and taken a couple of sheets down and decided to color on them. When mom found him she took the paper from him and scolded him and naturally he threw a tantrum so she took the crayons too and put him in timeout. Thus the screaming," she explained. Ricky gave her a sympathetic look.

"Sorry." Ashley shrugged.

"You can't get too mad at him; he's just a baby."

"Wait. What was he doing in here by himself?"

"He already had the crayons from something he was doing earlier," she explained while glancing at her textbook and then writing on her notebook paper to redo part of her assignment. "Mom came in here and set him down to get something out of the china cabinet and when she turned back around he was coloring." Ricky heard Amy's voice from the kitchen.

"Sorry he messed up your homework," he told Ashley sympathetically as he made his way to the kitchen.

"Daddy!" John greeted him, causing Amy to turn around from speaking to her mother. Before she could say anything Ricky grabbed her face and kissed her lips, deeply." Anne hid a smile as she stirred the pot of mac and cheese. When Ricky finally pulled back Amy was slightly breathless.

"Hi," she managed to get out.

"Hi," he greeted her back before hugging her. The moment was broken by John, who had a breaking piece of news to tell his father.

"Daddy, Wobbie cwy." Ricky gave his son a small smile.

"I know, buddy." He looked back at Amy. "I'm sorry I was such a jerk in the past."

"Huh?" Amy asked with confusion, setting her purse on the kitchen table and then shifting John in her arms to set his diaper bag beside it. Ricky took John out of her arms and placed him in his highchair, giving him a couple of small toys from his nearby toy bin to play with. He then sat down in one of the kitchen chairs and pulled Amy onto his lap.

"Um…" she said nervously, glancing over at her mother.

"They already know I love you," he said to ease her mind as he kissed her cheek. "Remember when you explained why me leaving John was one of your biggest fears?" Amy nodded. "Well my mom told me she wants to meet John and now I feel the same way," he explained, leaning his head against her chest. Amy kissed the top of his head.

"Do you want her to meet him?"

"Not yet." He looked up at her and they had a silent conversation.

_You're scared she'll flake on him aren't you?_

_Yes_

_Then we'll wait_. Ricky's eyes filled with gratitude and then he kissed her cheek again. Anne cleared her throat.

"So I take it you'll be joining us for dinner, Ricky?" John decided to assist his father with an answer.

"Din-er!" Everyone looked at him and smiled.

"Yes, John, dinner," Anne said lovingly a she walked over and kissed her grandson's forehead. John giggled and turned towards his parents.

"Gan-ma kiss," he declared, just in case they hadn't seen. They smiled at their happy little boy. _Not yet_ Ricky decided resolutely as he and Amy rose to get the table set for dinner. By the time George got home from the furniture store dinner was on the table and Robbie, thankfully had stopped crying and was in a slightly better mood. As Ricky looked around at his extended family, he knew he'd be able to make sense of having his mother back in his life. He caught Amy's eye from across the table and smiled. The chatter at the table was light and lively as George an Anne recounted some of the more interesting customers who'd come by the store that day and Amy discussed the adventures of trying to wrangle a room full of toddlers, even with the help of her two adult co-workers.

"More peas," John said, holding up his empty plate. George, who was sitting to John's right, took the plate and put small amounts of mac and cheese and baked chicken on John's plate. As John was about to eat, Amy's voice stopped him.

"John, what do you say?" John turned towards George.

"Tank you Gan-pa," he said with a toothy grin before eating his seconds. Ricky looked at his son with pride. His son was a happy, healthy, pretty well adjusted kid. He shifted his gaze to look at Amy and saw she was talking with Ashley about some movie they planned to watch later that evening_. How'd I get so lucky?_ he wondered as he took a bite of his chicken. Anne and George noticed Ricky glancing at Amy more often than not and caught each other's eye, sharing a smile. Their little family had been through a lot in the past two years but with so much love and laughter to go around, they'd all be more than okay.


	5. Let's Talk About Sex Baby

At the sound of his alarm, Ricky woke up hugging his pillow and groaned with frustration. He'd been having a wonderfully inappropriate dream about Amy and he wasn't ready to wake up yet, not that his alarm would care. He dragged himself out of bed and headed towards the shower, wondering if he was losing it. This wasn't the first less than innocent dream he'd had about Amy but they seemed to be happening more frequently and he couldn't figure out how to stop them. As he rinsed off his body wash it suddenly hit him: he hadn't had sex since Amy got back from New York. While that realization surprised him, he quickly did some calculating as he dried off and got dressed and realized that meant he'd been celibate for two months and he couldn't remember ever having done so for that long. He finished getting ready for the school day with Amy on the brain. It didn't help that as he ate his French toast and scrambled eggs he sat facing the refrigerator, which was cluttered with magnets holding up pictures of the woman he loved and the child they'd created. He suddenly found himself missing Amy more than he ever had before and he couldn't understand why. _Underwood you are so gone over that woman you could be committed_ he thought to himself with a smile as he got up to carry his dishes to the sink and wash them.

Across town at the Enriquez household Adrian was taking a cold shower. She'd woken up from a rather steamy dream that had featured Ben, much to her own surprise. She had still felt flushed and aroused when she'd woken up and hoped the cold shower would calm her down. She felt much calmer when she stepped out of the shower and dried herself off. She looked at her belly with a soft smile and rubbed it a little, smiling even wider when her daughter gave a small kick beneath her hand. All on its own Adrian's mind drifted back to the night her daughter had been conceived and then flashes of her steamy dream the night before came back to her. Adrian actually blushed when she realized she felt aroused again but knew she didn't have time for another shower. She quickly got dressed and gathered her school things so she could head downstairs. She managed to make small talk with her parents before she headed off to school. As she drove closer and closer to school, her mind kept thinking about Ben and that thought kept bringing flashes of her dream to mind. Adrian was at a loss. She had prided herself on having control of her libido but for some reason today it had a mind of its own_. I wonder if these pregnancy hormones are throwing everything outta whack_ she wondered as she pulled into the school parking lot. _Maybe I need to avoid Ben today until I can get a handle on them. _As Adrian set her car's alarm, Ricky was making a beeline for Amy's locker. She felt his stare and looked up in his direction, giving him a small smile as she placed her jacket in her locker. When Ricky reached her he pulled her close and gave her a kiss, not caring who saw them. Amy could tell from the way he kissed her that he was particularly happy to see her.

"Someone's in a good mood this morning," she told his with amusement.

"I missed you." Amy just smiled.

"You saw me last night," she reminded him with a chuckle as she grabbed out her morning textbooks and notebooks. Ricky nodded in agreement.

"Yeah." He got closer to her so he could whisper in her ear. "But I woke up alone this morning and I didn't like it." Amy remembered waking up next to him the previous day and the memory made her shiver and blush, which caused Ricky to smile as he was too close to her not to notice her reaction. Ricky took a step back and Amy released the breath she hadn't realized she was holding. "Yesterday was nice," he said quietly, so only she could hear. Amy shut her locker and Ricky put his arm around her waist as they began heading up the stairs towards their first classes.

"Yeah, it was," she agreed, leaning her head on his shoulder.

"So what do you want for dinner?" Amy shrugged, her head still on his shoulder.

"Surprise me." Ricky smiled and kissed her temple as they continued climbing the stairs. They were oblivious to the angry stares several females were shooting Amy's way and the looks of disbelief they were giving Ricky. Some felt angry at Ricky for being so affectionate with Amy but only wanting to hook up with them. Others felt angry at Amy for possessing something they didn't, something that made Ricky Underwood want to date her but not them. Some simply couldn't believe what their eyes were seeing: Ricky Underwood being a perfect affectionate gentleman to the girl he wanted nothing to do with when he first found out he'd gotten her pregnant. As Amy and Ricky ascended the stairs, Jack descended them, glancing at them briefly and sighing inwardly.

_I miss that_ he thought sadly_. If only I hadn't screwed things up with sex_ he chastised himself ruefully as he reached the bottom of the staircase and turned down a hallway towards his class. _Why does sex and relationships have to be so hard?_ As he neared his classroom he spotted Madison and her new boyfriend kissing each other goodbye. _Things were pretty good with Madison too_ he thought as he walked into his classroom and got ready for class to start. _Was I just too hung up on Grace to really make it work with her or did sex just make things too complicated all around?_ He didn't have too much time to chase that line of thought as the bell rang. When the bell rang again to signal the end of the class period, Jack quickly gathered his things and sent Madison a text: _Will u have lunch w/ me?_ He was almost to his next class when she responded: _Ok_. He quickly sent a text right back: _Meet me out front_. He breathed a little easier for the rest of the morning, hopeful to make sense out of what had gone wrong with his past relationships.

Jack was anxious as he made his way towards the school's main entrance and he only became tenser when he saw Madison already waiting for him.

"Hey, Madison." She turned towards the sound of his voice.

"Hi, Jack. So why'd you wanna have lunch together?" Jack nervously ran a hand through his hair.

"Why don't we find an open table and I'll tell you," he said instead of answering her question right away. Madison followed Jack towards the back part of the courtyard as he searched for an empty table. He finally spotted one and sat down, Madison joining him warily.

"So….." she pressed as she began opening her lunch bag. Jack cleared his throat.

"I wanted to ask you something."

"What's that?" she asked curiously.

"Well….do you think we could've worked out? As a couple?" Madison shook her head.

"No." Jack felt a little ruffled by her quick response.

"Why not?" he asked, genuinely curious to understand her answer. Madison pointed the banana she was about to peel at him.

"I was always just the other woman to you." Jack had the decency to look ashamed, remembering how he and Madison had first hooked up while he was still technically dating Grace. "And it sucked you know." She began to peel her banana. "The second she got back from camp you just kicked me to the curb." She took a bite and then set it down to open her bottle of water.

"Look I'm sorry, Madison. I really liked you; I still do actually. It's just," he scooted closer and lowered his voice. "Sex complicated things." Madison rolled her eyes.

"How?" Jack ran a hand through his hair again.

"I liked having sex," he told her truthfully. "But Grace wasn't interested and I didn't know how to be in a relationship with a girl I really liked and not have sex with her when I really wanted to have sex." He saw the confusion in her eyes and tried to explain himself more clearly. "I mean, if two people love each other and are committed to each other, I didn't see the problem with them sleeping together anymore but Grace did." Jack sighed as he took a bite of his sub sandwich. He and Madison ate in silence for several minutes before Jack spoke up again. "Do you think that makes me a hypocrite?" he asked seriously. Madison shrugged.

"I'm not really the best person to ask since I'm Catholic but I'll tell you what I think about it if you'd like." Jack nodded his head eagerly. "The way I see it, sex is something intimate two people do, right?" Again Jack nodded. "And when you're that intimate with someone you end up giving them a part of yourself, a part you can never get back. If the sex means something to both partners, like a sign of their commitment to each other like you said before, then I've got no business judging two unmarried people who wanna sleep together. But personally, when two people are just hooking up to have meaningless sex, they're cheapening it and I think that's wrong." Jack took a few moments to digest her words as he ate a little more of his lunch. There were a few more minutes of silence as they ate their food before Jack asked her another question.

"So what do you think about what **we** did?" he asked hesitantly, slightly afraid of her answer, given what she'd just told him.

"When we first," she began but paused, as a trio of students walked passed their table chatting amongst themselves. Glancing around to see if anyone else was within earshot, Madison selected a different choice of words as she continued. "Did what we did, I thought that you liked me as much as I liked you. When we kept hanging out and…stuff, I thought it meant you'd broken up with Grace. So when she got back from camp and you acted like nothing had happened between us that summer, it really hurt, Jack." He opened his mouth to speak and Madison could tell he wanted to apologize so she shook her head and continued. "You didn't make it clear to me what we had, or didn't have. When you and Grace broke up over what we did and we started dating, it still didn't feel quite right." Jack looked at her with surprise written all over his face.

"What do you mean?"

"Sure we went out and made out and occasionally…you know, but I still felt like I was competing with Grace for your full attention. Like you weren't really committed to being with me." Jack's brows furrowed with curiosity.

"Hang on. Is that why you wanted to have a sleepover?" Madison blushed slightly and nodded.

"Yeah," she admitted with a sigh. "I wanted to do something with you that you hadn't done with Grace. Something that would make our relationship different and unique." Jack shook his head at his own stupidity.

"Madison, I'm sorry. I didn't realize I'd made you feel that way. I honestly liked you. You were easy to talk to and fun to hang out with. I guess I was a little unfair to you though huh?" Madison nodded.

"It took my dad forcing us to break up and me meeting someone else to realize that back then you didn't know which one of us you **really** wanted to be with so it wouldn't have worked out between us." She took another drink from her water bottle. "Sex or no sex."

"So you're saying sex **didn't** complicate things between us?" he asked, wanting to make sure he'd understood what had been said so far in their conversation.

"No, Jack. The only complication was you not making up your mind about whether you wanted to have sex or a girlfriend. Sex isn't a requirement of a committed relationship you know," she told him with a pointed look. Jack sighed and looked down at the table.

"I know, I know. Or at least I'm figuring that out," he admitted. Across the courtyard Amy and Ricky sat by themselves at another table and Amy was currently looking at Ricky with a look of skepticism.

"You heard my dad. No more sleepovers."

"Nooooo," Ricky said with a slight grin. "He said no more sleepovers he didn't **know** about. That's why I'm asking you to ask them now," he told her calmly as he ate a forkful of his tuna casserole. Amy reached into her purse and pulled out her phone.

"Bet you he says no," she said in a singsong voice but with a serious face.

"You won't know if you don't ask," Ricky replied, in a singsong voice as well. Amy shook her head with a small smile at her boyfriend's antics as she sent both of her parents a text: _Is it ok 4 me and John 2 crash at Ricky's 2night?_ She set her phone on the table and took a bite of her salad.

"So what exactly do you wanna talk about tonight that might require a sleepover?" Ricky shook his head as her phone buzzed.

"I don't wanna say anything at school," he told her seriously as she looked at her phone for several moments and chuckled. "What?"

"Mom says only if I don't have any homework and dad wants to know why." She looked up at him. "What should I tell him?"

"That we need to talk about something and I don't wanna have to rush the conversation." Amy sent her dad a reply: _Ricky wants 2 talk and not have 2 rush._

"I might be a little later than usual since I'll have to pack an overnight bag for us," she informed him, taking a drink from her juice box.

"You don't have to," he informed her. Amy raised an eyebrow questioningly. "What?" Ricky said, lifting his shoulders in a slight shrug. "I've already got whatever John needs to spend the night and you can just wear one of my t-shirts to bed or something." Amy looked at him with amusement.

"Oh really? And what? Tomorrow just wear the same outfit to school? And what about restocking John's bag for the nursery? And packing my lunch for tomorrow?" she challenged with slight amusement as she ate some more of her salad. Ricky caught the teasing challenge in her eyes and smiled tenderly at her.

"Like I said. Whatever John needs for tomorrow I've got at my place, I can take him to the nursery in the morning so you can run home and change, and there's plenty of food at my place you can pack for lunch" He saw her considering his suggestion. "Pretty please? With sugar on top?" he asked, giving her his best puppy dog eyes. Inwardly he was crossing his fingers that she'd go for it; he didn't know how much longer he'd be able to hide his physical attraction to her.

"Okay, but if I'm late for school tomorrow morning I'm blaming you." He could hear the teasing in her voice and smiled at her.

"Noted." As Amy and Ricky and the rest of the student body enjoyed the sunshine, Adrian was in the library searching online furiously. She quickly scanned articles hoping to find both a definitive answer for what was causing her to lose control of her libido and, more importantly, what to do about it. Adrian finally found an article about the hormonal changes women experience during pregnancy that seemed like it might be helpful and began skimming it. She groaned with frustration as she found her answer, a groan that earned a stern look and a "shhhh" from the librarian. Adrian rolled her eyes when the librarian looked away and looked back at the computer screen. Much to her dismay, with all the hormones racing through her system at the moment, she was prone to becoming easily aroused, and frequently, unfortunately. In a nutshell, for the next few weeks her libido would be in overdrive. Adrian closed out the web browser and made her way towards her locker as she called Dr. Atavi's office. She was put through to her in a matter of minutes.

"Hello, Adrian. What can I do for you today?" Dr. Atavi asked her pleasantly.

"Is it true that about this time a lot of pregnant women get," Arian paused to glance around for any eavesdroppers but chose to lower her voice anyway for good measure. "Horny?" Dr. Atavi had to try very hard not to laugh at the question.

"Yes, Adrian. About this time of the pregnancy most women feel especially aroused." Adrian sighed.

"Well is there anything I can **do** about it? I mean, I'm in school for most of the day and it's kinda distracting," she admitted grumpily.

"I'm sorry, Adrian, but there's really nothing I can do medically. I can tell you, however, that having sex won't harm the baby in any way and can actually be beneficial for you.

"Say what?" Adrian said quickly, having perked up at Dr. Atavi's statement.

"Sex helps keep your pelvic muscles ready for childbirth and the release of endorphins can help you feel better and sleep better at night."

"Really?" Adrian asked cautiously, thinking this might all be too good to be true.

"Yes, Adrian, really," Dr. Atavi told her with a slight smile. The bell signaling the end of lunch rang, cutting into Adrian's thought process.

"I gotta go. Thanks, Dr. Atavi."

"You're welcome, Adrian." Adrian ended the call and opened her locker, her head spinning with this new information. While Adrian was mentally processing her recent phone call, Justin and Madison were heading back inside from the courtyard.

"So what'd Jack wanna talk about?" he asked conversationally. Madison shrugged.

"Just whether or not he and I would've made it as a couple." Her answer surprised him.

"You two used to date!?"

"Yeah, but not for long. He was just trying to figure out what went wrong I guess." Justin was still curious about her past relationship with Jack.

"Well," he began hesitantly. "What **did** go wrong?" Madison shrugged again.

"He wasn't really over Grace," she told him as she opened her locker to get out her supplies for the rest of the day. "Plus my dad didn't really like him." She left out the part about her little innocent sleepover. A girl's entitled to have a few secrets right?

"Are you over him?" Justin asked her seriously. Madison saw the seriousness of his expression and smiled before leaning forward to kiss his cheek.

"Yep." Her answer and token of affection made Justin smile and he took her hand as they walked to their chemistry class.

Adrian was glad when the school day finally ended. She was hoping to catch her mother on the phone as soon as she got home. She was pleasantly surprised to find her mom pulling into the driveway just as she did.

"Mom!? What are you doing here? I thought your flight didn't get in until tonight?" Adrian asked as she climbed out of her car and waddled over to her mom.

"Hello to you too," Cindy said with a smile, retrieving her suitcase from the backseat of her car. "One of the flight attendants on an earlier flight needed to switch shifts with someone so she could stay in Denver for a couple more days for some kind of family thing so I switched with her," Cindy explained as they headed towards the back door of the house.

"Great! I need to talk to you about something." Cindy looked at Adrian with concern.

"Everything alright with the baby?" she asked as she held open the door for Adrian, shutting it behind her once they'd entered the house.

"Yeah, yeah, she's good. It's me with the problem," Adrian admitted with a slightly guilty look. Cindy was intrigued.

"Oh? What kind of problem?" she asked, pulling out one of the kitchen chairs to sit in. Adrian did likewise, although a little slower than she would've liked, and sighed.

"Long story short I've been having horny dreams." Cindy tried to hide a smile and failed.

"Honey that normal." Adrian pushed her hair back, sighed and rolled her eyes.

"I know! I looked up a bunch of stuff online just to make sure it wasn't just me. Then I called Dr. Atavi and asked her if she could give me anything to help me….calm down and she said no. But then," Adrian nervously licked her lips. "She said that having sex while you're pregnant can actually be helpful." Cindy narrowed her eyes.

"Where are you going with this, Adrian?" Cindy asked cautiously.

"Well….I was wondering if you'd think it'd be a good idea to ask Ben to…help me out, if you catch my drift. I'm not really sure how to approach him about this," she admitted ruefully. Cindy thought about her daughter's request for a moment.

"I'm not really sure how to answer that, Adrian. I've been there and I know it's not all that pleasant being hot and bothered with no form of release, but I'm not sure asking Ben to help you scratch this particular itch is the way to go." Adrian had kind of hoped her mother would agree with her plan.

"Why not?"

"Adrian, think about it. You'd be asking a young man that you're not interested in romantically to have sex with you. Would it be just sex for both of you or would it mean something more? If you approach Ben about this, would he feel obligated to sleep with you just because he happened to get you pregnant or would he do it because he's genuinely attracted to you? And what happens to your relationship with Ben once you're no longer unusually horny? Especially if you both aren't on the same page about what sleeping together means for your relationship after your daughter's born." Adrian hadn't really thought about it beyond asking Ben to help her with her unusual problem. Cindy could see Adrian thinking things over and rose to retrieve her suitcase and then head upstairs. Adrian sighed and rubbed her belly.

"I didn't really think this through. I was just looking for a way to…scratch this itch, as you put it, and figured who better than the father of my baby." Cindy gave her daughter a comforting smile.

"I've been there, honey. You take it one day at a time and eventually it passes and you start to feel normal again," Cindy reassured her as she climbed the stairs. Adrian sighed. _And when exactly does that happen?_

Several hours later, Ricky, Amy and John sat down at his apartment dining room table to enjoy a meal of pork steaks, mashed potatoes and steamed carrots. Ricky and Amy chatted over their dinner like they did every other Wednesday evening but they both sensed that they were avoiding what Ricky really wanted to talk about. Amy's curiosity finally got the better of her.

"So you gonna tell me what it is you wanna talk about?" she asked as she took a bite of her pork steak. Her curiosity was piqued even further when Ricky blushed slightly.

"Not with a kid in the room," he explained, quickly looking down at his plate and taking a bite of his own pork steak.

"Not even a little hint?" she pressed, somewhat amused to watch her boyfriend squirming. Ricky looked up at her from beneath his eyelashes and Amy arched her eyebrows, letting him know she wanted an answer. Ricky looked back down at his plate.

"I need to tell you something and I don't want you to freak out."

"Why would I freak out?" Ricky looked over at John, who was humming to himself as he ate, and then back at Amy. She got the hint: it would have to wait until John was asleep. When they finished eating, Amy wiped John's face and then took him out of his high chair so he could play while she and Ricky cleaned up. They worked silently but quickly to clear the table, wash and put away the dishes, and get the table and counters wiped down, all while keeping an eye on their blissfully unaware toddler. Their tasks complete, they gave John a bath and got him ready for bed.

"No bed," John said before clamping his mouth shut when he saw Ricky approaching his mouth with his Spiderman toothbrush; he knew that bedtime followed getting his teeth brushed and he wasn't ready for bed yet. Ricky sighed.

"John, daddy needs to brush your teeth to get all the food off of them." John turned his head to avoid the brush.

"No bed!" Amy chimed in to help.

"John, after you brush your teeth you get to hear a story." John quite moving his head to avoid the brush and looked at his mother. Amy smiled at him. "I know you like stories and I'll tell you what. After daddy brushes your teeth I'll read you two stories tonight. How about that?" John considered her words, mainly focusing on the fact his mommy had promised him more than one story.

"'Kay!" he said with a smile and opened his mouth so Ricky could brush his teeth. Ricky shook his head with amusement and chuckled as he began to brush John's little teeth. His teeth brushed, Ricky set him down and John scampered to his crib in Ricky's bedroom and sat down, waiting for his story. Amy was close behind him and chuckled at his eagerness. She picked up two of John's favorite bedtime stories and then sat down on Ricky's bed. John went over to her and put up his arms so she'd lift him onto her lap; Amy did just that and kissed his forehead as Ricky sat down next to her.

Halfway through the second story John was fast asleep. Amy and Ricky both gave him kisses on his cheeks and then Amy tucked him into his crib. She paused afterwards to simply gaze down at her sleeping child and smiled. Ricky put his arm around her waist and she looked up at him, seeing a serious yet nervous expression in his eyes; it was time to talk.

"So what did you wanna talk about?" Amy asked in a whisper as they made their way quietly out of the bedroom, Ricky's arm still around her waist. Ricky leaned close to Amy's ear and whispered an answer as he shut the bedroom door quietly behind them.

"Sex."


	6. Secrets and Surprises

Amy stopped dead in her tracks and stiffened.

"I'm not ready!" she blurted out. Ricky stopped and looked at her with confusion. It took him a moment to process her outburst.

"I didn't mean like right this second, babe," he told her, his face still revealing his confusion about her startled reaction. He gently guided them to the couch and they sat down. Amy scooted away from him a little and hurt flashed in his eyes. Unfortunately, Amy missed it because she was staring down at her hands, which were twisting nervously in her lap. "Amy, look at me," he said gently. She glanced over at him from beneath her eyelashes and then back down at her lap. Ricky gave her a slightly annoyed look, which she also didn't see. "Will you just look at me, please?" Amy licked her lips and then shifted her body towards him as she looked him in the eye. Ricky arched an eyebrow questioningly. "You can come over you here you know; I don't bite." He gave her a mischievous smile. "Unless you want me too," he said while wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. He got the reaction he was going for when Amy blushed and chuckled.

"Will you behave!" she exclaimed in a whisper, trying in vain to hide her embarrassment.

"I wanna talk about that too."

"What?"

"Why innuendos make you blush so much. I've already seen you naked. Remember?" Amy blushed a brighter shade of red and looked back down at her lap.

"That was before!" She hugged her legs to her chest.

"Before what?"

"I got pregnant." Ricky had no clue why Amy suddenly looked so nervous.

"Yeah. That's kinda how it works, babe." Amy groaned and hid her face. This conversation was turning into a train wreck. Ricky ran a hand through his hair and then pulled Amy against him; she squeaked with surprise at the sudden movement and looked up at him. "This conversation's not off to the best start. Can we start over?" Amy nodded.

"Okay." Ricky stared at her for several moments and Amy sat quietly, waiting for him to speak first.

"Remember when I told you I never stopped being attracted to you?" Amy nodded. "Well I've been having….inappropriate dreams about you on and off ever since the day we took John to the beach for the first time and I saw you in that bikini." Amy blushed as she remembered that day, breaking eye contact with Ricky as she remembered how she'd openly stared at him for a moment that day too. "And lately…." He let his voice trail off and Amy looked up at him, her face filled with curiosity. "I've been having them more frequently and," he paused to give her a smirk. "There becoming more and more inappropriate." He gave her a pointed look and Amy understood what he was trying to tell her. She began to squirm so he'd let go of her and her reaction confused, and worried, him so he didn't let her go. "Amy, what's wrong?" Amy began fidgeting nervously but stopped squirming to get away from him.

"I'm not ready," she said again. Ricky sighed and kissed her temple.

"And I already told you I wasn't asking you to sleep with me tonight. What's really going on here, angel?" he asked gently, afraid he would somehow spook her again. Amy looked at him nervously.

"I'm scared," she admitted quietly. Ricky's brows shot up in surprise.

"Of sleeping with me?" Amy shook her head.

"Of losing you," she said, her voice wavering. Every protective bone in Ricky's body went on full alert. He kissed her lips gently.

"I'm not going anywhere, Amy. You know that." Amy broke eye contact and was silent for several moments. Ricky gently forced her to look him in the eye again. "What makes you think you're gonna lose me if we have sex?"

"Band camp." She looked downwards to break eye contact, unable to actually put her head down as Ricky was still holding her chin up with his thumb and forefinger. "And after." Ricky had no idea where Amy was going with that statement.

"You lost me, sweetheart." Amy sighed and snuggled into Ricky's side.

"You're more experienced than me," she said matter-of-factly, although with a note of sadness in her voice. Ricky hugged her to him.

"You knew that, Amy. I thought we were past all that," he said with sadness, resigned to the fact that occasionally his past would always come back to haunt him. Amy nodded.

"We are, it's just…"

"Just what?" He felt Amy take a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"Do you remember how I described what it was like for me that night?"

"Yeah."

"Well, ever since that night I wondered if it would be better the next time. That maybe I wouldn't be so nervous or uptight or whatever if I knew the guy better, we were in love and married. When I found out I was pregnant I was sure no guy would ever be interested in me again so I didn't have to worry about ever doing it again." Amy paused to sigh. "Then I fell in love with you and everything changed."

"Changed how?" he asked gently, stroking her hair.

"I realized I was physically attracted to you and that at some point I'd like to have sex with you. Again." Ricky smiled at this admission but his happiness quickly dissipated as he realized something.

"Why do you sound so sad about that then?"

"Because I'm not sex savvy." Ricky couldn't help himself and he laughed. Amy pulled away from him and frowned at his laughter. He leaned in and kissed her temple.

"I'm sorry, babe, but 'sex savvy'?" Amy crossed her arms and pouted slightly.

"It's as good a phrase as any. The truth is you're more experienced than I am when it comes to sex." Her irritated demeanor changed and she hugged herself. "I'm afraid I won't be good enough to keep you interested." The laughter drained from Ricky's face to be replaced by concern.

"What do you mean, Amy?" he asked worriedly. Amy once again hugged her legs to her chest and then rested her chin on her knees.

"I mean," she began without looking at him. "That I'm afraid the sex will be bad again because I don't know what I'm doing and then the way you see me will change and eventually you might break up with me to find someone you can have better sex with." Amy sighed again and a tear rolled down her cheek. Ricky quickly wiped it away and pulled her back into his arms.

"Amy, I want you to listen to me very carefully. Okay?" Amy nodded although she didn't look up at him. "I haven't had sex since you got back from New York." That got Amy's attention and she looked up at him with her brows furrowed.

"But we didn't start dating until the middle of August." Ricky nodded.

"My point is that our relationship's not about sex. If it were we would've had this discussion weeks ago." Amy bit her lip nervously, realizing he was right. "We're talking about it now because I want you to know that I'd like to sleep with you again, Amy. And again, and again, and again." Amy blushed at his admission and Ricky leaned forward to give her a quick kiss. "Sex with you won't be a one-time thing, Amy; it can't be because I love you too much.

"I'd like to sleep with you too, Ricky, I just….I'm not ready."

"Okay. And what do you think it would take for you to be ready, besides time?" Amy bit her lip nervously again for a moment.

"Promise you won't laugh?"

"Promise."

"My high school graduation? Maybe?" Ricky chuckled.

"You don't sound too sure about that," he told her with a smirk. Amy tucked some of her hair behind her right ear.

"It's just that I kinda figured I'd be married again before I did it again and I know we're not getting married any time soon. And while I don't wanna wait for forever to sleep with you again, I also don't wanna risk possibly becoming pregnant again while I'm still in high school. Does that make sense?" Ricky nodded in understanding and then smiled as the rest of her explanation registered.

"So you're saying you wanna marry me someday?" Amy blushed as she realized she'd admitted that. "She opened her mouth to try and back track but Ricky wouldn't let her. "Oh no you don't, angel. You said we're not getting married anytime soon but that also means you've thought about it," he said triumphantly. "You wanna be my wife." Amy sighed with defeat.

"Okay, okay so I've thought about it."

"Wanna know a secret?" Amy looked at him expectantly.

"I've thought about us living together." Amy blushed and Ricky chuckled. "And at the time I wasn't thinking about sleeping with you. I was just thinking that if we lived together I'd be able to help you with John every night and also get to spend more time with you." Amy smiled at his thoughtfulness and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

"That's so sweet."

"Unfortunately I was talking to Dr. Fields about it and he reminded me that it might be awkward for you since we weren't romantically involved back then."

"Would you really want to live with me knowing I won't be ready to sleep with you anytime soon?" Amy asked curiously. Ricky sighed and pulled her tighter against him.

"Amy, I'd be perfectly happy living with you and not sleeping with you if it meant I'd get to spend more time with you. And sharing a bed with you with simply be a bonus." He kissed her temple and sighed. "In fact I'd trade just about anything to wake up next to you every morning like I did yesterday," he told her seriously.

"My parents would never go for that. They'd assume we'd start sleeping together, and I don't mean just sleeping in the same bed." Ricky sighed.

"I know." He smiled as a thought came to him. "But you'll be eighteen this summer." Amy looked at him quizzically. "That means you'll legally be an adult and they couldn't stop us from moving in together, even if they objected.

"Ricky," Amy scolded. "I'd still be in high school and my SUV's in my mom's name. Doing something to tick off my parents is a bad idea." Ricky huffed with defeat.

"Okay, okay." They stared into each other's eyes for several moments while Ricky absently played with Amy's hair. "Fine. But the second you graduate I want us to move in together."

"And start sleeping together too?" Amy asked nervously.

"No. We've waited this long we can wait until you're ready," he told her with a mischievous grin as a thought came to him. Amy looked at him skeptically.

"What?"

"Would you object to more make out sessions in the mean time?" Amy smiled back.

"Fine by me." She then leaned in to give him a kiss and punctuate her statement. They made out for a solid hour before deciding they just wanted to hold each other for a little while before they went to bed. Ricky shifted so his back was against the arm of the couch and placed his right leg on the floor. Amy sat with her back towards him and he wrapped her in his arms. She placed her hands over his and intertwined their fingers and they sat there simply enjoying being together, and ended up falling asleep that way.

They were awakened the next morning by John. John had woken up in his crib and looked around. Seeing his daddy's bed but no one in it, he decided to go in search of his mommy and daddy. John tossed his teddy bear over the side and then proceeded to climb out of his crib. Once he landed on the floor, he picked up his teddy and toddled over to the door. He was just barely tall enough to reach the doorknob and, standing on his tippy toes and using both hands, he was able to turn the knob. Once the door was open, John picked up his teddy and went to find his parents and found them asleep on the couch. He toddled over to them and patted Amy's arm.

"Mommy. Doos peas." Amy's eyes slowly opened and tried to locate the source of the sound she'd just heard, a sound that sounded a lot like her son. When her eyes landed on John she smiled for a split second before she shot out of Ricky's arms with alarm.

"John!" she exclaimed, scooping him up as she stood, causing Ricky to wake up in a panic.

"What's wrong!?" he exclaimed, slightly disoriented but aware of the fact he'd heard Amy cry out John's name with alarm. He saw Amy holding their son, who had a slightly startled look on his face as well. He shot up from the couch when he noticed the alarm on Amy's face. "What happened!?" Amy looked at Ricky.

"I woke up to the sound of John's voice and when I opened my eyes he was standing next to me!" Ricky was still slightly groggy and couldn't process exactly what she was saying.

"Huh?" he asked as he rubbed his eyes.

"Ricky! John climbed out of his crib!" Suddenly Ricky was wide awake.

"What!?"

"I know!?" John couldn't understand what all the fuss was about so he simply made his request known again.

"Mommy, doos peas."

"Okay, baby, okay. Let's get you changed and dressed first, okay?" Amy headed back into the bedroom to put a clean diaper and clothes on John while Ricky plopped back on the couch and leaned back, processing what had just happened. _Not the nicest way to wake up_ he mused as he stretched and headed into the kitchen to fill John's juice cup. Ricky started making breakfast while Amy finished getting John dressed and he thought about their discussion from last night. He smiled again at the knowledge that Amy had fantasized a future with him. With **him**. It wouldn't be too much longer before the three of them would be living together as a family; he just had to be patient. _Well I waited this long to find my way back to her. I can wait a little longer. Besides_ he mused as he cut up oranges for the three of them. _You're worth waiting for, Amy._


	7. Fears of the Father

Lauren and Amy were chatting in front of Lauren's locker when Madison came up to them.

"You guys going to the game tonight?" she asked.

"No," Amy said; Madison pouted.

"Oh come on! We gotta show our Lancer spirit!" Madison pumped her fist in the air for emphasis, causing her best friends to laugh.

"I'm not exactly a football fan," Amy told her. "So I have no clue what's going on anyway."

"But you were in the marching band." Amy rolled her eyes.

"Just because I was **at** the game doesn't mean I understood it." Amy shrugged. "No one ever bothered to explain it to me and I didn't ask."

"Explain what?" Ricky asked from behind her. Madison's face suddenly lit up.

"Ricky!" Ricky looked at her warily.

"What."

"Do you get football?"

"Yeah." He wasn't sure where Madison was going with this but the gleam in her eye made him nervous.

"Perfect! Then you can explain it to Amy tonight at the game." Ricky turned to Amy to ask for an explanation.

"Aren't you forgetting something, Madison?" Amy asked her friend.

"What?"

"John."

"What about him?" Madison asked, not understanding what the problem was.

"One, in order for us to be at the game we'd have to bring John with us. Two, the game starts at 7:30 so by the time it ended it would be way past John's bedtime. Three, John's only a toddler and he'd be bored just sitting there in the stands for a couple of hours so Ricky and I would be entertaining John and not actually watching the game."

"On the other hand," Ricky said from beside her, causing the three girls to focus their attention on him. "He's never been to a football game so he might actually enjoy it." Madison smiled triumphantly.

"So we're all going to the game then?" Everyone looked at Amy expectantly and she sighed with defeat.

"Okay, okay. I'll go." She gave Ricky a pointed look. "But that means you'll have to explain what's going on." Ricky gave her a smile.

"Deal." In another hallway near the counselor's office Ashley and Griffin were also discussing the game.

"Come on, Ash. Neither of us have any actual plans tonight and it's perfectly normal for two teenagers to go to their school's football game. Even if it's just to people watch and goof off and not actually **watch** the game."

"Well," Ashley didn't get a chance to finish her statement as she collided with someone. Ashley had her head turned to the right to look at Griffin and hadn't seen a student come out of the counselor's office. Said student had their head facing behind them to say goodbye to the counselor and hadn't checked to make sure the area directly outside the door was clear. The result was that he and Ashley collided as he left the office, knocking Ashley's books out of her hand and causing her to drop her bag that was slung over her shoulder.

"I'm so sorry," he began, bending down to retrieve Ashley's books while she did likewise to retrieve her bag.

"Me too," Ashley said. They both looked up and caught each other's eye as they stood back up. "And since no one's bleeding, no harm no foul." The boy smiled as he handed Ashley her books. He stuck out his hand after she took them.

"I'm Toby." Ashley shook his outstretched hand.

"I'm Ashley." Toby smiled.

"Nice bumping into you. Although, we probably shouldn't make a habit of it." Ashley smiled and nodded.

"I'll keep that in mind." Toby turned toward Griffin with his hand again outstretched and Griffin shook it.

"Griffin. The best friend."

"Nice to meet you Griffin the Best Friend," Toby said with a smirk, causing Griffin to smile slightly. "See you around." And with that Toby headed off down the hallway and Ashley and Griffin turned to watch him. Griffin turned his head to the side and noticed Ashley's intense expression.

"He's cute. And he likes you." Ashley turned skeptical eyes towards Griffin.

"We talked for maybe a minute. How could you **possibly** know that?" They turned around to continue walking down the hallway.

"I know," he said knowingly with a smile. Ashley shook her head and kept walking, sending her parents a text to let them know she wanted to go to the game. The students of Grant High had a pretty uneventful day and when the bell rang to signal it was time to head to the gym for the pep rally, the chatter among the students was lively. Even though the students were expected to sit in sections with their classmates, Ricky was able to find a spot on a bench in the senior section next to Amy's spot in the junior section, with only the aisle of stairs separating them. Once all the students were seated, the principal stood at the podium in the middle of the gym floor to speak.

"Lancers, let's go out tonight and show our opponents what school spirit's all about! Let's support our hardworking football players by cheering them on to victory tonight!" There was a cheer from the student body and the principal waited for the din to die down. "And to help get us pumped for tonight's game, your cheer squad!" He motioned with his right arm towards the cheer squad who was heading onto the floor from their position near the main doors. Once they were in position, the cheer coach started the music and the team performed several routines, stopping to lead the student body in victory chants and cheers between each. Grant glanced over at Grace during one of the dance numbers.

"Do you miss it?" Grace smiled sadly.

"Sometimes," she admitted, as she watched some of her former teammates perform. "But then I remember that I've still got plenty of great things to help me stay busy and out of trouble," she told him with a smile. Grant took her hand and held it for the rest of the performance. Once the cheer squad was finished, and the study body gave them a rousing round of applause, the booster club president stepped up to the podium.

"Good afternoon Lancers! As a thanks for showing your support to your football team tonight, the first 100 people to pass through the check in gate will receive," she paused and turned to a young woman to her left who was carrying a box towards her. She reached inside and pulled out several items and held them up. "Their choice of a mini pompom, a Lancer pride t-shirt or a Lancer throw blanket. These and other items will be on sale tonight at the booster club shop just outside and the concession stand will be selling all kinds of foods and beverages to keep you warm." Several students cheered over news that food would be available at the game and the booster club president chuckled. "And as always, all proceeds go directly to help fund the booster club and keep you all decked out in Lancer gear. Go Lancers!" The study body cheered as she stepped down and then quieted as the principal once again took the podium.

"And halftime will feature," he turned once more to face the main doors and gestured towards them with his right hand. "Your Lancer marching band!" The marching band came marching into the gym playing the school fight song and the students clapped along while the cheerleaders led the students in singing said fight song. Ricky glanced over at Amy and saw her clapping along a little sadly, even though there was a small smile on her face. _It's my fault she never got to march with the band for very long_. She felt Ricky staring at her and turned to look at him. She noticed the regret in his eyes and gave him a reassuring smile before mouthing 'I'm okay'. He gave her a smirk and nodded to let her know he got the message. The fight song concluded, the marching band headed back out of the gym and the president took the podium one more time to remind everyone what time the game started and then the final bell rang. Students quickly filed out of the gym through its three exits. As Amy was heading to her car, she felt her phone vibrate and pulled it out; she'd gotten a text from her mom. Amy had sent the text early that morning to let her parents know she wouldn't be home for dinner because she was going to the football game. Unknown to Amy, Ashley had sent them a similar text. She read the text and smiled: _I'll bring you guys dinner. No sense wasting your money on concession food_. Amy sent a text back: _Thanks mom. We'd appreciate it._ Ricky caught up to her as she was replying.

"So I'll meet you at the gate around quarter 'til?" Amy finished her text and nodded. "I'll treat you and John to dinner." Amy shook her head.

"No need. Mom said she'd bring us dinner." Amy gave him a smile. "We can just share." Ricky smiled right back.

"Sounds good to me." He gave her a quick kiss. "See you tonight." He headed off to his car and Amy did likewise.

At the hospital, Ben sat next to Adrian in the waiting room flipping through a magazine while she texted Grace. A nurse called Adrian's name and then led the two of them to an exam room. After helping her get comfortable on the examining table, Ben sat patiently in a chair while Adrian fidgeted excitedly.

"I love sonogram appointments," Adrian said happily. "I love getting to see her cute little face," she said in a baby voice as she rubbed her belly. Ben couldn't help but smile since he enjoyed seeing his daughter as well. Dr. Atavi came in several minutes later.

"Hello, Adrian. Ben," she greeted them. "Let's see how the little one's doing today." Adrian lifted her shirt so the gel could be applied and shivered slightly at the cool sensation. Dr. Atavi turned on the monitor and placed the wand on Adrian's belly. Moments later their daughter became visible on the screen and Ben moved closer to the monitor as the sound of their daughter's heartbeat filled the little room. Dr. Atavi worked silently for a few moments. "She's developing just fine," she told the duo with a smile. She quickly printed out two pictures of the screen so Ben and Adrian could have an updated sonogram of their daughter to take home and then turned off the monitor. She handed Adrian a towel and then stood up to wash her hands while Adrian wiped the gel off. Once Adrian had readjusted her shirt, Dr. Atavi proceeded with the rest of Adrian's checkup. "So any issues?" Adrian shook her head.

"Other than the fact I'm starting to waddle more?" Adrian said cheekily. "Nope."

"Good to hear." Dr. Atavi made some notes in Adrian's file. "Well I will see you in another two weeks," she said, making one last notation in Adrian's file before looking up at her and Ben with a smile. "Three and a half more months and your little one will be here," she said with a smile. For some reason her words hit Ben like a ton of bricks. _I've only got three and a half more months until she gets here!?_ Adrian thanked Dr. Atavi and then Ben followed her to the check in counter where they retrieved their copies of Adrian's latest ultrasound. Ben simply gazed at it with wonder. Adrian saw his expression and giggled.

"I know. It gets me every time too." Ben could only nod as they headed to the parking lot towards their respective cars. "See you later, Benny," Adrian called cheerfully as she backed out of her parking spot and drove home. Ben got into his car much more slowly and had to take a deep breath. _Three and a half more months. What if I can't do this?_ He drove to work trying his level best not to let the 'what ifs' get to him; his plan failed. When he parked and walked in, the first person he saw was Ricky and a light bulb came on. _Ricky's been there! He can give me some pointers!_ Ben got changed and punched in. He quickly scanned for Bunny and saw her in her office on the phone so he made a beeline for Ricky.

"I need to talk to you," he said urgently. Ricky arched an eyebrow.

"About?" Ben shook his head, double checking Bunny was still on the phone as she had a way of popping up when they weren't working or were talking about personal business.

"It's personal. Can I come up after work?" Ricky shrugged.

"Okay, but make it quick. I'm going to meet Amy and John at the game."

"Thanks!" Ben said quickly and then headed off to complete his assigned duties for the day. Ricky shook his head and sighed. _That guy really __**is**__ way too excitable_ he thought as he wiped down the glass of the main register.

At the end of their shift Ben waited for Ricky at the time clock. They punched out and silently headed upstairs to his apartment. Once the door was shut Ricky motioned towards the couch.

"Let me get cleaned up first." Ben nodded and took a seat on the couch, bouncing his left leg nervously as his mind began racing. As he waited for Ricky to finish showering, Ben took his latest sonogram photo out of his back pocket and stared at it and his leg slowly stopped bouncing. When Ricky emerged from his bedroom in clean clothes he found Ben still gazing at the picture with awe and fear. Ricky took a seat and looked at Ben. "So what'd you wanna talk about?" Ben turned towards Ricky and held out the picture. Ricky looked at it curiously and then his brows lifted slightly in surprise when he realized it must be a sonogram picture of Ben's baby.

"And what about it?" Suddenly the neurotic flood gates opened and Ben started rambling.

"Three and a half more months! That's all I've got until she's here!" Ben jumped up and started pacing. "I know when Amy had John we talked about what it'd be like to raise him over holidays and birthdays and school days and all and we knew he was coming but this is different! This time it's not three people raising one baby it's just me and Adrian! **I'll** be responsible for her. **Me**. How am I supposed to juggle going to school and work and taking care of my baby and her mother!? I mean, Adrian and I've talked about it and all but I mean emotionally how am I supposed to handle this!?" Ben stopped pacing and turned to face Ricky. "How'd you do it? Is just going over to your kid's house after work to spend time with them enough?" Ben began pacing again. "Do you miss out on anything? What if Adrian needs my help in the middle of the night or something? I remember that John didn't sleep through the night for the first few months. What do I do? I already feel guilty about not being there for Adrian and our daughter's not even here yet! What if I'm a bad dad because I'm not there as much as she needs me? I mean, Adrian and I agreed we'd do like you and Amy and she'll stay with me on weekends, but does that negatively affect the kid? Is this really gonna work?" Ricky looked at Ben with a mixture of pity and irritation.

"Ben, sit down," Ricky ordered; Ben obeyed immediately. "First of all, how I handled it has nothing to do with how you're gonna handle it."

"What do you mean?"

"Ben, no two parents are alike because no two people are alike. How I coped with it may not work for you so asking me how I did it is a moot question."

"But you can give me an **idea** of what it's like to **actually** be a teen father. I was only a teen stepfather for a **little** while. Even though I still love John, I know I'll never be a fixture in his life like you." Ben ran his hands through his hair and rested his elbows on his knees. "I'm freaking out here, Ricky! Talking to Adrian about how we're gonna raise our daughter is one thing. But three months will come and go before we know it and then we'll actually be parents! What if we can't do it?" Ricky felt empathy for Ben's confused emotions.

"Look, it's not easy, I'll tell you that much. Everything changes when you hold your kid for the first time, Ben. And I mean everything. The way you feel about your kid's mother, the way you feel about yourself, your priorities shift, and you start to worry about everything." Ben looked over at Ricky with a frown, letting Ricky know this wasn't cheering him up. Ricky shrugged and stared right back. "You didn't ask me to sugar coat it, you asked me what it was like and I'm telling you. You worry about a lot. And yes it's tough not being there all day every day. In the beginning I could tell Amy was exhausted so I offered to take John to the nursery for her some mornings. That day you left for Bologna," irritation washed over Ben's face as he remembered finding out Ricky had spent the night. "The day before I'd asked Amy at school if I could have John spend the night with me my first night in the apartment. He'd fallen asleep before I got there from work and I found him sleeping soundly with Amy watching over him, looking dead on her feet even though she was sitting in the chair next to his crib. I knew he'd be up in a couple of hours so I told Amy I'd watch him so she could go get some sleep. She said to wake her up when John did so she could see us off. I ended up crashing there that night because I didn't have the heart to wake Amy. I just took care of John when he woke up and let her sleep." Guilt washed over Ben's face as he realized he'd jumped to conclusions.

"I didn't know." Ricky rolled his eyes.

"Of course not. When she tried to explain you blew her off and left." Ricky saw Ben's defeated look and sighed. "Look, I'm not trying to dredge up bad memories, I'm just trying to make a point. That point being your kid's mother is gonna need your help and all you can do is be there every spare second you can and help her out in any way that she needs you to. And as far as if it's enough, the answer's yes. So long as you spend quality time with your kid, let her know you're there for her and love her, it'll be enough. You've just gotta be there. Helping out your kid's mother is important too but as long as you're in your kid's life it'll all work out," Ricky assured him. Ben looked at his appreciatively.

"Thanks, Ricky."

"No problem." Ben looked back down at his sonogram picture.

"Part of me can't wait to hold her and the other part is scared of screwing this up." Ricky chuckled.

"Of course you're gonna screw it up." Ben glared at him but Ricky explained himself before Ben could get out an angry retort. "You're a first time parent, Ben. Like every other first time parent, even the ones who've read every baby book on the planet, you're just gonna have to figure it out as you go. Besides, since no two kids are exactly alike what works for one might not work for another. But don't worry. Eventually you figure it out," Ricky told him with a smile. Ben gave him a small smile back as thanks and then stood to leave.

"Thanks again, Ricky."

"You're welcome." Ben headed down the stairs and Ricky soon followed him, sadly. Talking with Ben and seeing that image reminded him of how much he'd abandoned Amy during her pregnancy. He didn't have any sonogram pictures of John because he'd never gone to any appointments with her. He knew he'd missed out on some things, obviously, but he wondered for the first time just what he **had** missed by not being around as much as he could've. How much more time could he have had with John if he wasn't busy hooking up with other girls, or playing games with Adrian? _I wonder if Amy'd be willing to give me a copy of one of John's sonograms_ he wondered as he climbed into his car.

Ben was heading home, his mind still trying to process everything Ricky had told him. He pulled into his driveway and leaned his head against the steering wheel with a sigh. _Maybe I'm not cut out to be a parent. I'm a nervous wreck and she hasn't even been born yet._ He took a deep breath and then got out of his car, grabbing his backpack from the passenger seat. When he walked inside his nostrils were assaulted with the sweet smell of chicken parmesan. His stomach grumbled and he followed his nose into the kitchen. He saw that dinner wasn't quite ready yet but he spied a plate of brownies and took one before heading up to his room to shower and change. Feeling refreshed from his shower, Ben took his homework downstairs to the living room to work on it while he waited for dinner to be ready. That's where Leo found him as he came out of his study heading towards the kitchen to check on dinner.

"Ben! When'd you get home? I didn't hear you come in."

"A little while ago," he answered, head down and looking at his textbook.

"Everything alright, son? You sound a little down." Leo told him, taking a seat on the couch next to Ben. Ben sighed and closed his textbook, his mind not really on his studies.

"Adrian had an ultrasound appointment today," Ben explained taking his photo from his pocket and handing it to his father to look at. Leo took the picture and smiled.

"Everything going okay?" Ben nodded.

"Yeah. Dr. Atavi reminded us that she'll be here in three and half more months." Leo frowned with concern.

"Why don't you sound happy about that?"

"I am it's just that…I'm worried I'm gonna be a bad dad," Ben admitted, turning sorrowful eyes towards his father. Leo simply chuckled.

"Benjamin, you're worrying about this baby and she's not even here. That wouldn't be the case if you didn't care. So long as you love a child unconditionally and do the best you can, you **can't** be a bad parent. Parents aren't perfect, as you now know. They just do the best they know how to do and try and learn from their mistakes and then do better. Really that's all anybody can do in their lifetime." Ben sighed, unconvinced.

"Yeah, but this time it's different. With John I took responsibility for him even though he would never **really** be my son. But now…Adrian's baby is **my** baby. It's up to **me** to not just take care of her but make sure she grows up to be a good person. How am I supposed to do that when I'm still figuring out how to do it for myself!?" Leo chuckled at Ben's question.

"Benjamin, by the time you figure that out, your daughter will still be too young to care that you don't have all the answers to life's questions. By the time you reach your twenties and understand life a little better, your daughter will only be in elementary school. She'll be more focused on playing with toys and her gal pals then double checking to see if you've got life figured out," Leo explained with amusement. It took Ben a few moments to process his father's words and when he did, he laughed.

"So basically I'm freaking myself out for nothing?" Leo nodded.

"Pretty much, son." They stood when they heard Betty call them for dinner. Leo put his arm around Ben's shoulder as they headed towards the dining room. "Just take it one day at a time and enjoy the journey." While the Boykewichs enjoyed their dinner, Ricky was pulling into the school parking lot. He thought he'd made peace with his regrets, only allowing them to sadden him momentarily before he got over it. He knew he should've been by Amy's side during her entire pregnancy. Well, the rest of her pregnancy once he found out she **was** pregnant. He also knew she was so angry at him for the way he'd treated her after their night together that she probably wouldn't have been open to letting him stand by her even if he'd wanted to. Ricky had to force down the bile that threatened to rise up when he thought about the adoption video Ben had made. Even to this day it burned him knowing Ben had found out the sex of his child before he did. Ricky noticed Amy and John standing near the entrance gate and his anger and hurt dissipated immediately as he recalled his first real discussion with Amy. They weren't ready to be a couple back then because they both had a lot of growing up to do. _Maybe things between us would've been worse if we'd tried to force a friendship before we were ready._ _But I still wonder what it was like for her. I wonder if she'd be willing to tell me?_ Amy was standing near the entrance gate to the football field holding John, slightly bundled up in a jacket and knitted hat. She was holding a plastic bag containing the dinner her mom had dropped off as well as John's diaper bag. She smiled when she saw Ricky approaching them.

"Daddy!" John called out happily, pointing at Ricky. Ricky smiled at the sound of his son's voice. When he reached them he tickled John's neck and then kissed Amy. She noticed the sadness in his eyes right away.

"You okay?"

"Yes and no," he said with a sigh.

"What's going on?" He took the bags from her and they got in line. He lowered his voice as he began to explain.

"Ben came over after work because he said he needed to talk."

"Did it upset you somehow?" Amy asked, also keeping her voice lowered.

"Not the way you mean."

"Ok. So why do you sound so sad?"

"Remember how I told you it seems like my past keeps coming back to haunt me?"

"Uh huh."

"Well tonight I was reminded about the way I didn't stand by you during your pregnancy and now it's got me wondering about some things."

"What kind of things?"

"What it was like for you. What the sonograms of John looked like."

"I'm sorry. You're wondering about sonograms?" Ricky let out a frustrated breath and ran a hand through his hair

"So it's like this: Ben showed me a sonogram he got from Adrian's appointment today and when he left, I realized I'd never seen a sonogram of John because I was never there with you for those kinds of appointments."

"And that got you wondering about the rest of my pregnancy," Amy said, understanding what Ricky was trying to get at.

"Yeah. And he asked me questions about how to deal with the guilt he knew he'd feel about not being there every second of every day and it got me thinking about how much more I coulda been there for you and John. And I'm wondering…"

"What you possibly missed out on," she finished for him.

"Yeah."

"Ricky," she began gently. "I can't take you back in time so you can be there but I can tell and show you if you'd like." Ricky perked up at her statement.

"What do you mean?" he asked eagerly, causing Amy to chuckle at his excitement.

"John's baby book and scrapbooks. I can bring 'em over on Sunday and you can look at them."

"That'd be great, Amy," he said with excitement. "Thanks."

"Sure. And Ricky?"

"Yeah?"

"You gotta stop beating yourself up about that." He understood what she was talking about. "We've been over it all already and we're good. Without all the bad and hard times we wouldn't be where we are now." Ricky could hear the happiness in her voice.

"I'll try."

"Okay."

"Angel?"

"Hmm?"

"You know I love you more than all the sand on all the beaches all over the world right?" Amy smiled, remembering the first time he'd said that to her.

"And I love you more than air."


	8. School Spirit

When they reached the front of the line the woman behind the table smiled at them.

"Congratulations! You each get to choose a piece of Lancer spirit gear," she informed them while motioning towards the pompoms, t-shirts and rolled blankets in front of her.

"I'll take a blanket please," Amy informed the woman.

"I'm good thanks," Ricky replied. The woman handed Amy a blanket and Ricky took it for her.

"And what about your little man?" she asked, smiling at John. Amy and Ricky looked at each other and shared a knowing smile.

"A pompom" they said in unison." The lady held it up to John and he happily grabbed it, waving it all about.

"What do you say?" Amy asked him. John looked at the lady and smiled.

"Tank you!"

"You're very welcome little man." Their prizes dispersed, they showed the woman their student ID cards to get into the game for free, knowing children three and under got in free as well. She gave them a puzzled look before stamping their hands, surprised to find that Grant High had any teen parents. They headed towards the bleachers, several students eyeing them curiously and whispering, but they paid them no mind. Madison spotted them first and waved to get their attention. Amy spotted her and headed up into the stands. Madison, Justin and Lauren were already seated, each with a variety of concession stand goodies. As Amy sat down on a bleacher in front of Lauren, John noticed the cheerleaders warming up and pointed to them.

"Mommy! Dance!" Amy looked where he was pointing and chuckled.

"Yeah, sweetie. They're dancing." Amy made sure John was secure on her lap and then retrieved her plastic bag from Ricky and opened it. "Let's eat while we wait for the game. What do you say, John?" she asked as she took out a Tupperware container containing meat loaf and mixed vegetables. Ricky took it from her and opened it while she fished out a fork. As she was doing so Ashley and Griffin came up to her.

"Hey, Ames." Amy looked up at her sister. "I need to catch a ride home with you."

"Hi, auntie!" John said, waving his little pompom. Ashley smiled and leaned over to kiss his cheek.

"Hey, cutie." She stood back up and looked at Amy. "See you after the game." And with that she and Griffin walked off to sit somewhere else. Amy took John's pompom from him so she could feed him without distraction and be began to whimper.

"You can have it back after you eat," she explained gently, digging the fork into the meatloaf and pulling some out to feed to John. After eating several bites Amy set the container between her and Ricky to pull John's juice cup out of his bag and handed it to him. John took a healthy sized swig and then held it up to Amy to let her know he was finished. He ate a couple forkfuls of veggies before becoming distracted by the announcer's voice over the loud speaker.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please stand for the pledge of allegiance." Everyone stood while the band played the national anthem and when they finished the crowd cheered and clapped. Before Amy could sit back down, Ricky held out his arms for John.

"I'll hold him while you eat," he offered and she smiled her thanks. Ricky gave John back his little pompom and tried to keep his attention focused on the football players so Amy could eat in peace.

"What number is Jesse again?" Amy asked Lauren, setting the container in her lap to open the water bottle she had in her purse.

"32," she answered proudly. "There he is!" she said happily as she spotted him on the sidelines.

"And what number's Jason?" Amy asked, taking another bite of meatloaf.

"Uhhhh. 23 I think." Lauren looked at the sea of Lancers player trying to spot her brother to verify her answer. "Yep. 23," she said once she'd spotted him. Amy ate a couple of bites of veggies and set the container between her and Ricky again, reaching for John.

"Your turn," she told him with a smile. She held her excited toddler in her lap, who waved his little pompom with glee, and then draped her blanket over him while Ricky finished off the contents of the container. Placing the empty container back in the bag, he scooted closer to Amy, putting his arm around her waist with a smile. He was aware that several students kept looking at them curiously, as many had never seen their kid before, but he didn't care. Tonight was about doing something ordinary, and totally high school, with his girlfriend. However, unknown to him or Amy, several students were snapping pictures of them and texting them to their friends, surprised to finally see what Amy and Ricky's kid looked like.

Several bleachers away and a few rows higher, Ashley and Griffin were enjoying themselves people watching. They were eyeing the spectators and amusing themselves trying to pick out the diehard fans from the posers.

"Blue hat and gloves," Ashley said, indicating a girl four rows below them and several seats to their right. "She's definitely a poser."

"And why's that?" Griffin asked.

"You can tell she's never been to a football game before because she's only wearing a long sleeved t-shirt. We may live in LA but it still gets a little chilly at night this time of year and she didn't get the memo." Griffin chuckled and began gazing out over the crowd again.

"Front row, grey hoodie," he said with a smile.

"Because?"

"Look at him. He's so focused on that cheerleader's butt he doesn't care that the game's started." Ashley glanced at the guy in question and nodded in agreement. Towards the middle of the bleachers sat Grant and Grace, sharing a container of nachos.

"These are pretty good," Grace said, stuffing two cheesy chips in her mouth and chewing with satisfaction. Grant chuckled at her.

"Are we enjoying ourselves?" he asked teasingly, eating a couple of chips as well. Grace nodded.

"When I was on the squad we never got to go to the concession stand. We had to eat before the game and pack a snack for halftime." Grant swallowed the chips he'd been chewing.

"But I thought the cheerleaders performed during halftime?"

"We do, but we get a little break towards the end to go to the bathroom if we need to or scarf down our snack. I've never gotten anything from the booster club's concession stand at games," she explained. She wiped her mouth and took a drink of her soda. "You know it's kinda nice to just be a spectator," she told Grant with a smile. Suddenly the crowd began to cheer as the lancers intercepted a pass and made a first down and Grace and Grant turned their attention back to the field. The game turned out to be pretty exciting, with the score staying pretty evenly matched for most of the game. Ricky explained what was going on to Amy when she asked him a question and he encouraged John to wave his pompom when the crowd cheered and clap along when the cheerleaders led the crowd in various chants. When halftime began Justin stood up.

"I'm making a food run. You want anything Madison? Lauren?"

"Ohhh! A hot chocolate please!" Madison said while rubbing her slightly chilled hands together.

"I'm good thanks," Lauren said, adjusting her Lancer blanket on her lap. Ricky glanced at Amy and saw that she was tucking hers a little tighter around John.

"You want anything, Amy?" he asked.

"Actually hot chocolate sounds great." Ricky stood to join Justin and they headed to the concession stand. Just as they reached the bottom of the bleachers, the announcer announced the start of the halftime show and, much to Amy's surprise, John was still wide awake. As the marching band began performing he pointed to the field excitedly.

"Mommy, moos-ik!" he informed her, looking up at her with a smile. She smiled down at him.

"I see 'em, buddy." John began clapping along with the rest of the crowd during the show. Ricky and Justin returned about halfway through the performance.

"How much do I owe you?" Madison asked Justin, taking her hot chocolate from him.

"My treat," he told her with a smile, kissing her cheek as he sat down and then digging into the chili dog he'd gotten for himself. Ricky shook his head at Amy before she could ask the same question, letting her know it was his treat. He set her hot chocolate on the bleacher next to her and held out his arms for John. Once John was transferred to his daddy's lap and once more nice and warm beneath his mommy's new Lancer blanket, he promptly dozed off. He was unaware that the Lancers ended up winning the game by one point. When the game ended, Ricky stood and shifted his sleeping son in his arms so he could help Amy stand up as well. They made their way to the parking lot hand in hand and Ricky walked her to her car. She put her purse in the backseat and then they waited for Ashley, who joined them a few minutes later. She kissed her nephew's cheek and then got into the passenger side while Amy kissed her son and boyfriend goodnight.

"I'll see you Sunday," she told Ricky quietly, so as not to disturb John.

"See you Sunday." He waited until she'd backed out of her parking spot before heading to his own car and securing John in his car seat. He didn't notice several students looking his way as they walked past his car, curious to see his kid up close. Once he got back to his apartment, Ricky quickly and gently got John changed for bed, glad that his son wasn't a light sleeper. After John was tucked in, Ricky quickly showered and changed for bed himself. He made sure to set up the baby gate in front of the bedroom door so John couldn't reach the doorknob and wander around the rest of the apartment if he climbed out of his crib again. As he drifted off to sleep, he couldn't help but smile. He and Amy had survived their first sporting events outing with John unscathed. Sometimes doing something like a normal teenager wasn't so bad.


	9. Facebook Follies

Adrian woke up bright and early Saturday morning and stretched. _Today's my first day of work_ she thought with a smile as she rolled herself out of bed and began to get ready for the day. She found her dad eating breakfast at the kitchen table when she came downstairs.

"Morning, sweetheart. How are you feeling this morning?"

"Good." She went to the fridge to take out the ingredients to make some scrambled eggs."

"Excited for your first day?" Adrian nodded as she got to work fixing her breakfast. Ruben checked his watch and then stood up, downing the rest of his coffee.

"I've got an early deposition so I won't be here to see you off," he informed her as he placed his dishes in the sink and ran water over them. He kissed Adrian's temple and then grabbed his briefcase. "Have a good first day. I'll see you tonight."

"'Kay. Bye, dad," she called as he headed out the door. Across town Ricky was dropping John off at his parents' house.

"You have fun today with Grandma Margaret, okay?"

"'Kay," John replied from Margaret's arms. She bounced John slightly with a smile.

"We're gonna have lots of fun today. We're going to John's first swimming class. Isn't that right, John?" John nodded his head but Ricky and Margaret knew he was responding more to the tone of her voice than her actual question. Ricky kissed John and then his mother and headed off to work while Margaret took John inside to feed him his breakfast. At the Juergens household only Anne, George and Robbie were up, Ashley and Amy sleeping in since it was the weekend.

"I'll see you all tonight," George told Anne before kissing her cheek and then ruffling Robbie's hair, causing him to laugh. "Don't give mommy or your sisters a hard time today, okay little man?" Robbie just smiled in his high chair. Soon after George left to head to the furniture store, Adrian got into her car and headed to Rose's Reads, the bookstore she'd be working at. She parked in the small employee parking lot behind the store and went in through the back, making her way to her boss' office. Finding her boss seated at her desk with her office door open, Adrian knocked on the doorframe to get her attention.

"Good morning, Adrian," Rose greeted her with a smile. "Ready for your first day?" Adrian nodded. "Follow me and I'll show you were you can put your things." Adrian was given a tour of the employee spaces, which was brief as the building wasn't that big, and then Rose showed Adrian how to clock in and out for her shifts. "Since we don't want you on your feet too much right now, I'm gonna start you off with the computer side of things," Rose explained with a smile. She lead Adrian to a computer work station off to the side of the main registers and they both sat down in the chairs in front of it. "Basically I'm gonna put you in charge of crosschecking online orders with our inventory. Since people can order books from us online, we need to double check that we have the books they want in stock and if so, we process the order. If not, we need to order them from our wholesale supplier." Adrian nodded to let Rose know she was following along. Rose gave her another smile, which seemed to be as much a fixture on Rose's face as it was on Grace's. "Let's get to it then."

At the butcher shop Ricky and Ben were hard at work. Ricky noticed Ben seemed a little quieter than usual and looked for a chance to ask him about it. The opportunity came when Bunny asked them to flatten empty boxes and pile them into the large recycle dumpster outside.

"You okay? You seem a little quieter than usual," Ricky told him. Ben nodded.

"Yeah, I've just been thinking about our talk a couple days ago." Ricky gave him a concerned look and Ben was quick to reassure him. "I'm not freaking out anymore, honest," he declared as he tossed a flattened box into the dumpster. "There's just so much to think about. You know?" Ricky nodded as he tossed a couple of flattened boxes into the dumpster. In another part of town at a Burger King, a small group of girls were eating breakfast and looking at their phones while they chatted.

"Part of me kinda hates her even more now," said a girl as she glanced angrily at her smart phone and took a sip of her orange juice.

"For what?" asked another girl at the table, picking up her hash brown patty and taking a bite.

"'Cuz her kid's adorable," the first girl answered glumly. A third girl at the table snorted into her milk and had to wipe her mouth quickly before milk dribbled down her chin.

"You make it sound like some great tragedy, Kim." Kim glared at her.

"Oh lighten up, Kim," said the second girl who'd spoken. "As hot as Ricky is there was no way his kid **wouldn't** be cute. And it's not like Amy's ugly or anything either." Kim narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

"You're telling me you never once thought their kid might be ugly since we've never seen him at any school events?" The second girl shrugged. "Well excuse me for being human Saint Tamie." Tamie could tell Kim was being sarcastic and just stuck her tongue out at her before taking a bite of her breakfast sandwich.

At the Cooperstein residence Madison had just pulled herself out of bed. She stretched as she made her way over to her desk and woke up her laptop. Once it woke up, she logged into Facebook and then headed to her closet to find something comfortable to wear, knowing she had no plans to see Justin today so she could look as scrubby as she wanted to. Once dressed Madison made her way back to her desk and sat down. Her eyes widened with surprise as she saw several pictures of Amy, Ricky and John from last night at the football game. Her eyes narrowed with irritation as she began reading some of the comments. While quite a few girls, and even some guys, commented about how cute John was, quite a few Grant students thought Amy and Ricky had never taken John to a school event because he was ugly. Madison felt torn. On the one hand she should warn Amy that there were pictures of John floating around Facebook and who knows where else, but on the other, weren't they trying to avoid getting caught up in gossip and drama? Eventually Madison reasoned that Amy deserved a heads up about this since it involved John and she grabbed her phone and sent a text to her and Lauren: _Peep took pics of John at the game last nite. They're on FB :S _

Amy woke up to the sound of her phone vibrating. She grabbed it sleepily and saw that it was a text from Madison. She rolled onto her back as she opened it and then sat up abruptly when she read it. Amy jumped out of bed and woke up her laptop, logging into Facebook to see exactly what was going on. While Amy wasn't friends with a lot of the Grant High student body, she **had** joined the school's band group and most of the student body hadn't bothered to change their post settings to friends only so Amy was able to both look at some of the pictures that had been posted and read the comments made about them. While Amy became slightly angry when she read people's assumptions that John was ugly, she soon realized that most of the negative and neutral comments were posted simply because there was apparently a lot of curiosity about what her and Ricky's kid looked like. After several minutes Amy logged off and picked up her phone to text Ricky. Madison had given her a heads up and it was her turn to do the same. She opened Madison's text and forwarded it to Ricky.

Ricky felt his phone vibrate in his back pocket as he picked up another box to flatten it. He dropped it and checked his phone, sighing with irritation as he read the text.

"What's wrong?" Ben asked.

"I'm not sure yet. Probably just people being stupid," Ricky said. While he and Ben finished their flattening task, Adrian was getting the hang of the order system at work and actually enjoying it so far. Like Ben, she was still unaware of the nonsense playing out on Facebook. At the end of his shift, Ricky headed upstairs to shower and change before driving over to his mom's to pick up John. When he arrived, he found the two of them playing on the floor in the living room; John spotted Ricky first.

"Daddy!" He pushed himself up and toddled over to Ricky with his arms out. Ricky smiled as he picked him up. "I wet!" he exclaimed excitedly. Ricky could tell John's diaper wasn't wet so he looked at her mother for an explanation and she chuckled.

"He means he **got** wet, at the pool." Suddenly Ricky understood John was talking about his swimming class at the youth center.

"So you had fun at the pool?" John nodded eagerly. "That's great, buddy." He put John down and helped pick up the toys scattered around the living room. When the living room was clean, Ricky picked up John and slung his diaper bag over his shoulder before hugging his mom. "Thanks, mom."

"Anytime, sweetheart," she told him as she hugged him back. Ricky looked at John.

"Say bye bye to grandma, John." John waved at Margaret.

"Bye bye, ganma." Margaret waved back with a smile.

"Bye bye, sweetie." As Ricky drove back to his apartment he turned on a children's station that John liked and smiled as John babbled along. Once they were back at his place, Ricky got John settled in his highchair and fixed them lunch; Ricky ate his lunch with a smile as he watched his son enjoying his own meal. The swimming class must've worn John out because he went down for his nap without a fuss. Ricky quietly closed the bedroom door and then sat on the couch with his laptop. _Let's see what's going on_ he thought with trepidation and irritation as he logged onto his Facebook account. Ricky felt angry when he saw the pictures his schoolmates had shared, finding them pretty quickly as he had been tagged in several of them. Was it really too much to ask to be able to spend some quality time with his family without other people gossiping about it? Curiosity led Ricky to read the comments people had posted about the pictures and he huffed with indignation and anger. He picked up his phone and called Amy.

"Hey, you," she said when she picked up; Ricky smiled a little when he heard the smile in her voice.

"Hey."

"Long day?" she asked, instantly picking up on the tiredness in his voice.

"No. I've just been browsing this nonsense on Facebook."

"Some people really need a new hobby." Ricky chuckled.

"Tell me about it. So I guess we won't be taking John to any more school events."

"Why not?" Amy asked curiously. "We all had a good time. We can't let the Grant High paparazzi stop us from going to things if we want to." Ricky chuckled.

"Did you just say the Grant High 'paparazzi'?" This time Amy chuckled.

"It fits, what with everyone having a smart phone these days."

"Ok. We'll go to things we wanna go to, with John, despite the paparazzi."

"Deal." Ricky smiled. _My girlfriend's awesome._ "So did John like his first swimming class?"

"Yep. He was excited to tell me **all** about it." Amy giggled.

"Oh really? And what'd he tell you?"

"He said, and I quote: 'I wet'." Amy giggled again.

"What?"

"Yeah, that was my reaction when he told me, especially since I was holding him and knew his diaper wasn't wet. Mom clued me in and explained John meant that he **got** wet."

"Yeah, that makes **much** more sense," she agreed as they shared a laugh at their son's growing vocabulary. Their conversation was interrupted by Ashley knocking on Amy's open bedroom door.

"It's almost time to head out," she informed her sister before walking away.

"I gotta go. I gotta drive Ash to her driver's ed class."

"Okay. Talk to you later."

"I love you."

"I love you too." They ended the call and Ricky checked his watch. He decided to pass the rest of John's naptime getting a head start on his English paper and reviewing his French notes for an upcoming quiz. Downtown at Rose's Reads, Adrian was enjoying her lunch break when her phone vibrated. She pulled out her smart phone and saw that she had several Facebook alerts. She viewed her feed and saw several images of Ricky and Amy with John sitting outside on the bleachers. She quickly began reading the comments to figure out what was going on, however, as she read she felt more and more hurt. She was getting the updates because, like Amy and Ricky, she had joined the school's band page. Apparently quite a few of the majorettes really didn't like her because some of their comments were downright spiteful. Adrian tried to hold back her tears as she read:

Too bad Adrian's baby won't be as cute as Amy's. Ben is no Ricky in the looks department.

Bet you Adrian's baby comes out looking tragic. No way a bad girl and a good guy have a cute baby.

With a kid that cute no wonder he dropped Adrian for Amy!

So that's what he sees in Amy! She pops out cute kids. What'd he ever see in Adrian?

As she continued reading, she also came across quite a few comments that made her feel ashamed of herself. Ashamed because she'd had some of those same thoughts herself:

No fair! I bet I could pop out a little cutie for him. What makes Amy so special?

He's just playing house with Amy. It'll never last.

If he didn't have that little cutie calling him daddy he'd still be on the market. *crosses fingers it doesn't work out*

He's only with her hoping she'll put out again. #EasyScore

Adrian finally forced herself to close the app, hurt and ashamed by what she'd read. _I wonder if I should tell Amy and Ricky_ she thought as she finished the rest of her lunch. Her spirits sank a little when she remembered that neither wanted to speak to her at the moment. But then she remembered her talk with Grace several days ago and picked up her phone again to text them. _It's a small step in the right direction._

Ricky's phone buzzed as he was reviewing his notes and he saw that he'd received a text from Adrian. He sighed and rolled his eyes as he opened it, steeling himself for whatever drama she was trying to throw his way: _People took pics of you guys w/ John and posted them on FB. Thought you'd wanna know._ Amy couldn't check her phone as she was driving so she asked Ashley to answer it for her. Ashley picked up Amy's phone and looked at the screen.

"You got a text from Adrian. Want me to open it." Amy nodded as then checked both ways before driving through an intersection. Ashley's brows slightly lifted as she read it. "Soooo, there's pics of you and Ricky with John on Facebook." Amy sighed.

"I already know. Madison texted me about it this morning." There was silence in the car as Amy continued driving.

"Are you gonna do anything about it?" Ashley asked curiously as Amy pulled into a parking spot in front of the drivers' ed building and parked.

"No. I looked at some of the pictures and they're not indecent or embarrassing or anything and the comments are just people being stupid and hurtful." Ashley shrugged as they both got out of the car. "I'll see in two hours," Amy said before heading up the block to her favorite little bookstore. There was no sense driving all the way home just to turn around and come back for Ashley in two hours so Amy spent the time Ashley was in class just browsing around the bookstore.

The little bell chimed above the door of Rose's Reads as Amy walked in. She smiled politely when the girl behind the counter greeted her and then headed towards the music section, making sure the alarm on her phone was set as she could lose track of time in bookstores. Nearly two hours later, Amy headed towards the front of the bookstore to meet Ashley just as Adrian rose from her workstation to head towards her Boss's office in the back.

"Amy?" Adrian said when she spotted her heading towards the front of the store. "What are you doing here?" Amy shrugged.

"Just browsing. What about you?" she asked politely.

"I work here now."

"Oh."

"Um. Did you get my text?" Amy nodded.

"Yes. And while I appreciate the heads up, I already knew."

"Oh," Adrian said with surprise in her voice. Amy glanced down at her watch.

"I've got to get going. See you around, Adrian." Adrian watched silently as Amy exited the store and headed down the sidewalk. _Well at least she didn't bite my head off or anything_ Adrian thought with relief as she headed to her boss' office to let her know she'd finished her assigned task.

At the Treacy residence Lauren was just now skimming through the comments about the pictures of John, having had ballet class early that morning. After she'd showered and changed at the dance studio, she retrieved her phone from purse and saw a text from Madison about the pictures, as well as another one letting her know that she'd already informed Amy. _Why are people so hateful?_ she thought with a frown as she logged off and closed the lid of her laptop. Alice was at home sitting on her bed with her laptop open in front of her wondering the same thing. While she was grateful there weren't too many negative comments about Ben, she felt bad for Adrian. Sort of. _While she kinda brought some of this on herself, that's no excuse to bash her so hard online, the cowards_ Alice mused as she slid off her bed to grab a snack from the kitchen. _Twenty bucks says most of the people commenting are just hatin' because Adrian slept with their boyfriends or Ricky didn't wanna date them._

Downtown Amy and Ashley were getting ready to head home. They began chatting about the class as Amy exited the parking lot and pulled into traffic.

"So how was it?" Amy asked. Ashley rolled her eyes.

"Boring. We spent most of the class going over the 'rules of the road'," she explained with air quotations. Amy smiled at her frustration.

"I know all that sounds boring but once you start actually driving all those rules won't seem quite so boring."

"Wanna let me drive the rest of the way home?" Ashley asked eagerly. "So I can start practicing." Amy shook her head and chuckled as she turned onto the street that would take them back home.

"Sorry little sister. Dad is **adamant** about being the one to take you driving." She stopped at a red light and gave Ashley an apologetic smile. "You'll just have to wait 'til tomorrow." Ashley pouted and slouched in the seat and Amy chuckled. They rode in silence for several minutes, the only sounds in the car coming from the radio.

"You gonna tell mom and dad about the Facebook thing?" Ashley asked as they neared their house.

"I hadn't planned on it," Amy admitted as she pulled into the driveway. "The pictures aren't inappropriate or embarrassing, like I said before, so I don't see the point in upsetting them about something they can't do anything about." She put the car in park and the two sisters headed into the house. Amy went up to her room to finish her history review questions while Ashley went to the living to channel surf until their parents got home.

Ricky spent the rest of his afternoon playing with John. He was sitting at the dining room table looking over his notes when he heard the bedroom door open. He smiled at how fast his son seemed to be growing up even though that fact unnerved him slightly. John came into the living room rubbing his eye with his left fist and dragging his teddy. He glanced around and spotted his daddy. Having located another human being, John headed towards his toy bin and entertained himself while Ricky secured his school things. He joined John on the floor and they began playing with his toys.

At the Enriquez household, Adrian was making herself a snack and contemplating taking a nap before dinner. Even though she hadn't been on her feet much, her first day of working had tired her out. _Although, that could just be because pregnant women tire easily. Who knew a five hour shift could seem so long._ As she sat down to enjoy her healthy snack of sliced fruit, her phone vibrated. She smiled when she saw Ben's name on the caller ID.

"Hey, Benny. What's up?"

"Nothing. Just wanted to find out how your first day at work went." She smiled at his thoughtfulness.

"Good," she told him honestly. "So far my boss has me doing sit down computer tasks, so I can stay off my feet as much as possible, but it's not too boring. Although I am kinda tired. Not sure if it's from sitting all day or just 'cuz I'm carrying around a baby," she said bemusedly.

"Anything I can do to help?" he asked, feeling a twinge of guilt that the mother of his child might be tired from working already.

"Nah; I'm good. I'm just gonna take a nap."

"I'll let you go then. Have a nice nap."

"Thanks. Bye, Benny." She ended the call and finished her snack. Ben put his phone on his nightstand and flopped down on his bed with a sigh. _What could I do to make this easier on her?_ Ben ran multiple scenarios through his head of ways to lighten Adrian's burden once their daughter actually arrived. _She's gonna stay home for about a week but the nanny will be around to help her. Wait, is the nanny gonna be at my house or hers though? I better double check with dad about that. And after I get off work I'll be over at her house, but I won't be able to stay too long on nights I have a lot of homework. Bunny would __**kill**__ me if I dozed off at work just because I'm too tired. Was Ricky ever too tired at work?_ Ben tried his best to think back and find an answer to that question and couldn't. _Maybe he was just good at hiding it._ He sighed deeply. _This would all be easier to work out of we were living together. Then our daughter could grow up with both her parents around, in a stable home instead of going back and forth between two houses. But our families would never agree to move in together. They might agree to let us do it though, if we were married._ Ben smiled at the solution he'd come up with. _If we were married then I'd be there every night and every morning to help take care of Adrian and our daughter. It's perfect. Now I just need to sell her and our parents on the idea._

A couple of hours later, Anne came home and entered through the kitchen door, carrying a cheerful and babbling Robbie. She heard the TV on and headed into the living room.

"Hi, Ashley," she greeted her daughter, setting Robbie down. "How was driver's ed?" she asked as Robbie quickly scampered over to his toy bin and promptly tipped it over to dump out all his toys. Anne was momentarily startled by the noise but turned her attention back to her daughter once she saw that Robbie hadn't hurt himself.

"Boring," she replied, her eyes never leaving the TV screen. "We reviewed the rules of the road and scheduled our first official drives for next weekend," she replied to her mother with a bored tone. Anne smiled at Ashley's frustration, remembering how eager she was at fifteen to get behind the wheel and gain a little bit of freedom.

"I'm ordering pizza for you guys tonight. What would you like on it?" Ashley tore her eyes away from the screen to look in her mother's direction.

"Sausage and pepperoni. And can we get cheesy bread too?" Anne arched an eyebrow and Ashley quickly added with a sweet smile, "Pretty please, mommy?" Anne laughed at her daughter's antics.

"Oh, ok." She turned around and headed upstairs to ask Amy if she wanted anything else on the pizza. Robbie toddled over to Ashley and held a toy boat out towards her.

"You want me to play with you?" Robbie nodded with a smile.

"Yes peas!" Ashley chuckled and took the boat from Robbie. He made his way back to his toy bin as she turned off the TV. Upstairs Anne found Amy listening to her iPod and painting her toe nails. She tapped on the open door to get Amy's attention. Hearing the sound, Amy glanced up and then paused her iPod, taking the ear bud out of her left ear.

"Hey, mom."

"Hey. I'm ordering you guys a pizza and cheesy sticks for dinner. Ash wants sausage and pepperoni. Is that okay with you?" Anne asked, leaning against the door slightly.

"Yeah, that's fine," she replied, returning her attention back to her toes.

"Ok. Your dad and I won't be out long tonight so you don't have to worry about getting Robbie ready for bed." Amy nodded to let her mother know she'd heard her and then Anne headed to the kitchen to order the girls their dinner. Next door at the Enriquez household, Adrian awoke to the smell of fajitas and then followed her nose to the kitchen. Her dad saw her out of the corner of her eye and turned to smile at her.

"Hey, sleepyhead. Long day?" Adrian shrugged and sat down at the kitchen table.

"Not really. I just felt a little tired when I got home." Ruben turned back towards the stove to finish sautéing the vegetables for their fajitas. "I didn't know you could cook." Ruben chuckled.

"I was a bachelor for a while before I got married so I had to learn. Also," he motioned towards his cellphone on the counter near him. "Your mother texted to 'remind' me to make sure you had filling meals for breakfast and dinner while she's outta town." He glanced over his shoulder at her and smiled and Adrian returned it. Ruben transferred the veggies to the pan containing the cooked ground beef and then stirred the mixture together, the smell making Adrian's mouth water. Her daughter gave a small kick and Adrian laughed, placing a hand over the spot where she'd just felt the kick.

"Apparently your granddaughter thinks that smells delicious and can't wait to eat it." They shared a chuckle.

"Does she kick more when she's hungry?" he asked jokingly, warming up tortillas. Adrian leaned back in her chair slightly and rubbed her belly.

"Sometimes." Ruben put the warmed tortillas on a plate and then transferred the meat mixture to a serving bowl. After he set both dishes on the table, he retrieved shredded cheese, shredded lettuce, sour cream and salsa from the fridge, adding them all to the table as well. Having already set the table with dishes and glasses for himself and Adrian, they served themselves as soon as all the condiments were on the table. "Thanks, daddy," Adrian said with a smile, filling her tortilla.

"You're welcome." As they began to eat their dinner, George and a Dominos delivery car arrived next door.

"How much?" George asked the driver, pulling out his wallet.

"$26.50," the teenaged driver replied. George handed him the money and a tip and took the food from him.

"Thanks."

"Have a nice night," the driver said, getting back into his car to drive off as George made his way to the front door.

"Pizza delivery!" he called out as he walked inside.

"Daddy!" Robbie squealed happily when George came into view. He ran to his dad and hugged his leg tightly for a moment before looking up with a smile.

"There's my little man," he said with a smile. Ashley smiled at their interaction as she relieved her dad of the pizza and cheesy sticks boxes. "And there's my little sugar plum," he said to Ashley. She smirked and rolled her eyes at her father's childish nickname for her as she made her way towards the dining room. Anne came down the stairs and smiled at her boys. "Just give me a minute and then we can go," he told her, picking up Robbie in order to remove him from his leg. He headed upstairs to drop off his briefcase and change into a less formal shirt and then came back downstairs with Robbie. George deposited his son next to his spilled toy bin and kissed his cheek. "Be a good boy for Amy and Ashley, okay?"

"'Kay," Robbie said, suddenly more interested in his toys than his father. Amy and Ashley came into the living room each carrying a plate containing pizza slices and several cheesy sticks.

"We'll see you girls in a bit," Anne said, putting her purse strap over her shoulder.

"'Kay," Amy said, setting her plate on the coffee table and heading back to the kitchen to fix Robbie a plate, one with only half a slice of pizza to start with.

"Enjoy your date night," Ashley called out, taking a seat on the couch and reaching for the remote. George and Anne chuckled at their teenagers and then headed out to the movies. While Adrian enjoyed dinner with her father and Amy and Ashley enjoyed dinner with each other, Ben was eating dinner by himself. His dad and Betty had decided to go out for dinner and he had opted not to join them, mentally trying to prepare a speech to convince his dad of why he and Adrian should be married. As he ate his tortellini, he came to the conclusion that he needed some help so he texted Alice and Henry: _Can u come over? I need some help w/ something_. Henry answered first: _Sure. On my way_. Alice's answer was similar but much more brief, in typical Alice fashion: _Ok_.

When his two best friends arrived a little while later, Ben led them up to his room and shut the door, even though they were the only ones in the house.

"So what are we helping you with," Henry asked, making himself comfortable at the foot of Ben's bed. Alice joined him while Ben remained standing.

"I need you guys to help me come up with a foolproof speech I can give to my dad about why Adrian and I should be married." Henry and Alice were shocked and stunned into silence and their faces showed it. Ben glanced between them with confusion. "What? You know we're having a baby together. Why's this so shocking?"

"You mean besides the fact our best friend just told us he wants to get married in high school?" Henry asked, still trying to convince himself that he'd heard Ben correctly.

"I agree it's…unusual, but it's the right thing to do."

"Hold on, Ben," Alice said. "What makes you think this is the **right** thing to do?" she asked worriedly, guessing where his intentions were and hoping she was wrong.

"Because I want my daughter to grow up in a stable environment, with both of her parents around at all times, and I wanna be able to take care of Adrian better. And it's gonna be hard for me to do those things if we're not living under the same roof," he explained calmly, a little too calmly for Alice's liking.

"You really wanna be married to her!?" Henry asked incredulously, causing Alice and Ben to look at him sternly. He recoiled slightly from Alice's disapproving gaze. "What!?" he said, lifting his hands in a gesture of surrender. "You mean to tell me you think Ben getting married at seventeen to a girl he accidentally knocked up is a **good** idea?" Alice narrowed her eyes.

"Society tries to pressure men into marrying women they otherwise wouldn't or shouldn't simply for the sake of the child but the child ends up suffering because children are capable of picking up on tension within the home so no, I don't think Ben should get married if it's simply for the sake of the child."

"Ben is still in the room," Ben reminded his friends, causing them to both look at him and notice he was frowning.

"Frown all you want, Ben. True friends give it to you straight and I'm straight telling you this is a bad idea. While you may have good intentions, this is a bad idea," Alice told him.

"And I'm with Alice, but for a different reason." Alice and Ben looked at him curiously.

"And what's that?" Ben asked, taking a seat in his desk chair.

"Uh, hello! You barely know her. Not to mention you're not in love with her. Are you really gonna get hitched to someone, for the rest of your life mind you, that you don't really know anything about? Plus, she's kinda unbalanced." Ben shot up from his chair angrily.

"And what's that supposed to mean!?" Henry wasn't fazed by Ben's sudden outburst and looked him straight in the eye.

"It means she's the kinda chick," he noticed Alice glaring at him out of the corner of his eye and corrected himself. "Girl, who doesn't get mad, she gets even. Do you really wanna be married to somebody like that? I mean, unless you know something about her personality that I and the rest of Facebook don't."

"Facebook?" Ben said with confusion. "What's Facebook got to do with anything?" Henry quickly realized Ben didn't know what their schoolmates had been talking about all afternoon.

"Uhhhhh," he looked at Alice and silently pleaded for help.

"What's he talking about, Alice?" Ben demanded. Alice sighed and walked over to Ben's laptop on his desk and logged into her Facebook account. She located and clicked on one of the pictures of Ricky, Amy and John and then stepped back, motioning towards the screen as she looked at Ben.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." Ben sat in his desk chair and began reading. Alice watched a storm of emotions play across Ben's face: anger, sadness, happiness, fury, regret, disappointment, confusion and disgust. She rejoined Henry at the foot of Ben's bed and they let him read in silence. After several tense minutes, Ben shut the lid of his laptop angrily and then pushed it back, thudding his forehead against his desk.

"Does Adrian know?" he asked, his forehead still pressed against his desk.

"I don't know," Alice told him honestly. "But my guess is probably." Ben sat up and leaned back in his chair, slowly and dejectedly swiveling it around to face his friends.

"This is all my fault." They hadn't been expecting that to be Ben's conclusion.

"How do you figure?" Henry asked.

"If I had just driven straight home instead of having a pity party in my car that night, I never would've cheated on Amy with Adrian and she wouldn't be getting bashed on Facebook."

"But you and Amy weren't dating at the time," Henry tried to reason with him; Alice smacked his arm for bringing up that fact.

"I still shouldn't have done it for the reason I did it. And now people are bashing her."

"But a lot of those people are only basing the bashes off her reputation, which we all know about," Henry continued. Alice smacked him again. "Ow!" he said with a pout.

"Not helping, Henry," Alice told him sternly.

"Ben, people are gonna talk about whoever they wanna talk about for whatever reason," Alice informed him. "It's only getting to you now because she's having your baby," Alice continued, giving Ben a sympathetic look.

"Maybe they'd stop talking about her so badly if we were married. If I made an honest woman out of her," Ben reasoned. Alice shook her head.

"Ben, a bad reputation's hard to shake."

"Maybe," he agreed. "But I'm willing to help her try," he stated resolutely. Henry and Alice shared an apprehensive look while Ben stared up at the ceiling. They'd known for years that their best friend was a noble, well-intentioned idiot. But this time they weren't so sure they could save him from himself if he was determined to get married. Again.


	10. Blocked

Ashley woke up feeling excited. Today her dad had promised to take her out driving for a couple of hours and she couldn't wait. When she went into the kitchen she found that only her dad was up.

"Morning, Ash," he greeted her from the kitchen table, where he was eating a cream cheese slathered bagel.

"Hey, dad." She opened the cupboard to take out a bowl and then grabbed down her favorite cereal to join him at the table. "So how was date night?"

"Good. We went to see a movie." Ashley poured milk over her cereal.

"Think you guys will be getting re-hitched anytime soon?" She set the milk down and took a bite of her cereal as she gave her dad an inquisitive look. George sighed.

"Not as soon as I'd like, to be honest."

"What do you mean?"

"I screwed up, Ash, big time. Even though your mom and I have rebuilt our friendship quite a bit and still care about each other, it's gonna take time before I can get her to fall in love with me again. In love enough to say 'I do'. Again," he explained with a forlorn edge to his voice as he took a drink from his glass of orange juice. Ashley gave him a sympathetic look.

"Well, you got her fall in love with you once so I'm sure you can do it again," she reassured him. George chuckled.

"Thanks, princess." They continued eating in companionable silence for several minutes. "So you wanna head out after you finish?" Ashley eagerly nodded and then finished eating with gusto, anxious to get behind the wheel. Their breakfast completed, they headed out the door and George drove them to the high school.

At the Boykewich residence, Ben was wide awake, too busy mentally rehearsing his speech to his dad about why he and Adrian should get married to sleep in any longer. He showered and got dressed on autopilot, his mind focused on trying to figure out what reasons his dad might come up with for why this was a bad idea. He found his dad and Betty at the breakfast table enjoying French toast and scrambled eggs. Betty greeted him with a smile.

"Good morning, Ben. How'd you sleep last night?"

"Morning, Betty. Good, thanks," he responded, taking a seat and fixing his own plate. Seeing Betty had initially weakened his resolve to talk to his dad that morning but he reasoned that Betty would be affected too so there was no sense putting it off any longer. "Hey, dad?"

"Yeah, son?" Leo replied, facing his direction as he took a sip of his coffee.

"I want to talk to you about something."

"And what's that?" Leo set his mug down and gave Ben his undivided attention.

"Why Adrian and I should get married." Leo's brows rose in surprise and he was momentarily at a loss for words.

At the Bowmans there had been no shortage of voices, as Tom was in the mood to tease Grace.

"You know you can't make out whiff Grant at church. Will you be able to contwoll yurselves?" he asked her cheekily as she finished fixing her hair in the mirror.

"I told you, Tom. Grant and I don't **just** make out," she replied, giving her brother an irritated look. "We do a lot of talking too," she assured him. Tom rolled his eyes.

"Den why are you always making out on da couch when he's here?" Grace sighed with defeat.

"Because we like making out too. Happy?"

"Yep," Tom said triumphantly. Kathleen's head appeared around the corner.

"Tom, stop harassing your sister," she said to him, having overheard the last little bit of their conversation. She then looked in Grace's direction. "And don't be too long. Breakfast is getting cold." Kathleen headed back downstairs with Tom in tow as Grace finished clipping her hair back the way she wanted and then dashed to her room to retrieve her Bible and a sweater. She joined her mom and brother at the table and they joined hands and bowed their heads as Kathleen said a prayer. "Lord, we thank you for blessing us with another day and we ask that you help us see opportunities this day to share your word with others. We thank you for this food that nourishes our bodies and for continually watching over our family through all the trials life and our own decisions throw our way. We ask that you help us be encouraged and strengthened by the worship service and teachings we will experience with our fellow believers this morning and it's in your son's name we pray, Amen."

"Amen," Grace and Tom said in unison before they all dug into their meal.

"So do you have any plans with Grant after church today?" Kathleen asked Grace, who shook her head.

"No. We're just gonna spend the day catching up on homework and relaxing until the teen praise session tonight." Kathleen was surprised by that piece of news.

"Oh. So Grant's decided to go to the praise session then?" Grace nodded eagerly.

"He's still taking Christianity one step at a time but he's curious about why a bunch of teens would get together to sing songs when we do that during Sunday morning services. I mean I know he's only coming out of curiosity but it's a step," she said cheerfully." Kathleen smiled at her daughter's enthusiasm, both proud and relieved that Grace was finally finding her way back to herself. As they finished their breakfast and got ready to head to the church building, Leo was trying to find his voice. Betty broke the awkward silence.

"Ben, do you really think you're ready for marriage?" Ben turned his face towards Betty.

"Yes. I just need dad's help to work out some of the bigger details." Now Leo was curious.

"And what sort of details would those be?"

"Well, housing for starters. Adrian and I would need to live here until we could save up for an apartment. Then there's the fact I need your blessing in order to marry her in the first place." Leo could tell that Ben hadn't really thought this through.

"And why would I give you my blessing?" Ben looked at his father with uncertainty.

"Why wouldn't you? It's not like I'm asking for permission to marry Amy again. I'd be marrying the mother of my child," he replied, not understanding why his father would even ask him such a question.

"Benjamin, are you telling me that you've fallen in love with Adrian?"

"We're friends and she's someone I care about very deeply." Leo shook his head.

"That's not the same as love, Benjamin."

"Ok, so we're not head over heels in love with each other but that could happen later on." Leo laughed, causing Ben to frown.

"No."

"No?"

"No."

"'No' it won't or 'no' we can't get married?"

"No, you may not get married."

"But you haven't even let me explain why giving me permission to marry her is the right thing to do!"

"I know you and I've been married. Twice," he added, smiling at Betty. You're not ready."

"You were ready to let me marry Amy, if her parents agreed." Leo nodded.

"Yes. Because I knew the two of you were in love and had your hearts set on it. I also believed, at the time, that you'd seriously considered what it would mean to be a father to a child that wasn't biological yours. I was wrong, but that's not why I'm saying no, Ben."

"Then why?" Ben asked with exasperation, frustrated that he'd been shot down before he'd even had a chance to make his argument.

"Ben, you said you wanted to explain to me why marrying Adrian is the right thing to do, correct?" Ben nodded. "That statement tells me that you wanna get married for the wrong reasons. Benjamin, marriage is hard. You have to work at it every single day. There's a **reason** one of the marriage vows is for better or worse: there **will** be some worse in a marriage. If you both don't truly love each other, when those worse times hit, that lovey-dovey type of love will vanish in a heartbeat and you've gotta have genuine love for each other to stay together and tough it out anyway. If you're only with someone for the sake of the child you created together, your relationship will never be stable. You'll fight about that child and sometimes you'll resent that child, as well as each other. You don't get married just to do the right thing, Benjamin. Sometimes the **right** thing isn't the **best** thing."

"But I would make it work for my daughter." Leo sighed.

"I know you'd do anything for your child, Benjamin, but you're being narrow minded." Ben's brows furrowed in confusion.

"What do you mean?"

"You're assuming that right now the best thing for your daughter is for you and Adrian to be together. To live together, correct?" Ben nodded. "Do you remember how rocky your relationship with Amy became after John was born." Ben thought back for a moment and then nodded glumly, not liking where this was going. "Relationships change when you add a baby to the mix, Ben. It's a big adjustment having a baby to take care of and it can put a strain on **any** relationship, no matter how solid it is to begin with." Ben sighed with dejection and hung his head. Leo gazed at his son with sympathy. "I know you wanna do the right thing here, Ben, so I'll give you a suggestion." Ben lifted his head hopefully. "Wait one year."

"For what?" Leo chuckled.

"Wait until your daughter is a year old. Until you and Adrian have adjusted to working together as parents. If you end up falling in love, so be it. Get married then. If not, then remain friends as you raise your daughter. A lot can change in a year, Ben. So while my answer to letting you get married is no, my advice to you about what to do in the meantime is to just wait." Ben hung his head but nodded, realizing that he'd lost this fight. Without his father's permission his hands were tied. Betty reached across the table and squeezed his wrist. Ben looked up and saw Betty's sympathetic smile; he gave his stepmother a small grateful smile in return as he quietly finished his, now slightly cool, breakfast.

As Ben slowly ate his soggy French toast, Ashley was doing her best to recall everything she'd learned at driver's ed over the past week. Suddenly she realized that learning about something and actually doing it were two entirely different things. This was the third time in a row that she'd attempted to pull into a parking spot and misjudged the angle, ending up half out of her intended stall. Thankfully, her father was patient, and happy to be instructing Ashley as he'd missed the chance to do this with Amy.

"Just take a deep breath, Ashley. Now, just drive forward and try again." Ashley put the car in drive and pulled forward. She drove into the adjoining aisle and then straightened out. "Let's try the stall second from the end on the right," George said. Ashley nodded and put on her right turning signal. She drove slightly to the left for a moment and then pulled into her intended spot. She put the car in park and then opened her door.

"Ah ha! I did it!" she said triumphantly when she saw a lovely white stripe several inches from her door." She turned to look at her dad and saw that he wasn't smiling; her smile faltered a little. "What?" she said nervously.

"Where's the front of the car, Ash?" Ashley leaned her head out of the driver's side and looked at the parking stripe, groaning when she realized she'd pulled too far forward. "If there had been another car in front of you you would've hit it." Ashley sighed and pushed her hair back. "How do we make sure that doesn't happen?" George asked in a calm voice.

"Stop when you can't see the stall line in front of you," she answered.

"Correct. Once more around the block milady," he said cheerfully, causing Ashley to sigh. This driving this was a little harder than she thought. While Ashley put her driving knowledge into practice, Grace and Grant were seated at a table in the teen classroom of her church building, chatting with several teens that also went to Grant High. They quickly quieted down as the youth minister walked in and took a seat. He waited until everyone had gotten themselves comfortably adjusted in their seats.

"Alright people. Today we're gonna get real." He had everyone's attention now but he glanced around the long tables to make sure he did. "Every single one of us had majorly screwed up before and will again." Several teens glanced at Grace from underneath their eyelashes. "The question is: Does screwing up mean our faith isn't sincere?"

"No," Grace answered. A couple of boys sniggered softly and the youth minster looked at them.

"What's so funny about that answer, Jacob? Michael?" They were momentarily startled at being called out and didn't answer right away. "Your reaction tells me you either disagree or found her answer amusing." Still the two boys didn't respond. The rest of the teens were now looking at them as well, as their youth minister continued to wait for their answer. Finally Jacob answered, hesitantly.

"It's just that it's kinda hard to take Grace's faith seriously anymore," he admitted. Grace looked down at the table sadly and put her hands in her lap. Grant reached over and took her right hand to show her his support.

"Because?"

"Because she got herself kicked outta TAG and then made this long winded testimony about how wrong she'd been that just…wasn't believable," he explained.

"So you're saying that because someone gave into temptation and then realized doing so was a mistake and tried to share that realization with someone else, their faith isn't sincere?"

"Well, no. Not when you put it like that. But…"

"No buts, Jacob." He looked at the other teens gathered around the table, noticing Grace staring down at the table. "Who can tell me the purpose of the Old Testament for us today?" When no one answered the youth minister continued. "It's full of stories about men, **and** women, who screwed up and yet God still loved and took care of them, right?" The teens nodded. "The point I'm trying to get across to you all this morning is that screwing up doesn't mean you're not a committed Christian. It just means you're human. And that doesn't stop God from loving you and using you to bless someone else's life." Grant gave Grace's hand a squeeze and she looked at him. He gave her a small smile, letting her know he thought she'd blessed his life so far, and she gave him a small smile and a hand squeeze right back. Grace inwardly sighed_. I guess it's gonna take me some more time to repair my tarnished reputation just like it's gonna take Adrian to shake her bad one._

At Ricky's, he was zipping John up in his jacket as they were getting ready to head to the grocery store. Ricky double checked that he had his shopping list and then headed out, locking the door behind him. The drive to the store was a quick one. Once inside, Ricky buckled John into the seat of a basket and was on his way. As they made their way down a particular aisle, John spotted fruit snacks with Spiderman on them and pointed.

"Daddy! Pider-man!" Ricky looked in the direction John was pointing.

"Yep. That's Spiderman," he agreed, continuing to push the cart down the aisle to pick up the healthier, Spiderman packaging-free fruit snacks John actually liked. Just before he reached the end of the aisle, his mother turned up it, carrying a smaller basket containing groceries. They both froze when they saw each other. Nora quickly plastered a smile on her face but then she heard John giggle about something and her smile became more genuine when she realized the little boy with Ricky was her grandson. She looked up at Ricky expectantly, silently asking to see him. Ricky was torn for a moment. While he wasn't ready for John to know his other grandmother, there wasn't any harm in her seeing or talking to him for a minute. Right? Ricky nodded and Nora quickly came around the basket so she could see her grandson's face. John looked at her curiously, not sure why this strange lady was smiling at him.

"Hi," he said politely.

"Hi, John," Nora said back. She turned her head to look at Ricky, her eyes glossy with tears. "Oh, Ricky, he's beautiful," she said with awe, turning her head back to look at John, who was now looking at her curiously with his head tilted to one side. He looked at his dad while pointing at Nora.

"Daddy, why cry?" he asked.

"She's happy, buddy." John looked at Ricky confused.

"Hap-pee cry?" Ricky nodded.

"That's right. A happy kind of cry." Ricky turned towards his mother. "Mom, I'm really not in the mood to stay and chat," he said as politely as he could. Even though he'd resolved some of his emotional issues concerning his mother, part of him still just wasn't comfortable with John spending too much time with or around her. He wasn't ready for John to start thinking of her as another one of his grandmas. Not yet anyway. Nora nodded in understanding, still gazing at her beautiful grandson.

"Ok." She finally tore her eyes away to look at her son. "Thank you, Ricky," she said gratefully and Ricky's cool demeanor towards her thawed slightly.

"You're welcome. I'll see you at work," he said instead of 'goodbye' or 'see you later.' As he disappeared around the corner Nora remained glued to the spot, committing to memory her grandson's face. _Thank you to whoever's out there running this universe. It wasn't for very long but I'll take what I can get._ She turned around and glanced at her shopping list to remind herself what she was supposed to be getting on this aisle. _It's just gonna take a little more time._

Sunday morning eventually turned into Sunday evening and Ricky found himself on pins and needles as he fed John dinner. He decided to spill his anxieties to his eighteen month old son while they ate.

"You know what, John?" John looked up at his father upon hearing his name. "Mommy's brining over your baby book and some pictures for daddy to look at tonight." As John had nothing to really contribute to the conversation, he turned his attention back to his dinner in front of him. "Daddy hopes there's a sonogram picture of you in one of them because I've never seen one of you before," Ricky continued rambling nervously. Being too anxious to really enjoy his dinner, Ricky got up and put his food in storage containers and began washing up his dishes. Once John had finished his own food, Ricky took and washed his dishes before taking John out of his high chair. Ricky got him ready for bed and made sure his blanket and bear had been packed back in his bag. His check compete, Ricky set John down so he could play with his toys and Ricky relaxed, losing himself in the simple joy of spending one-on-one time with his son. When Amy finally knocked on the door, however, some of his anxiety began to creep back to the surface. Ricky stood and opened the door, smiling when his eyes fell on Amy. John saw her from his spot on the floor and stood up to run to her.

"Mommy!" She smiled lovingly at her little boy as she scooped him up.

"Hi, baby. Did you have fun with daddy and Grandma Margaret?" John nodded and she gave his cheek a kiss. She handed Ricky a canvas bag and then took John's overnight bag from him. "Just bring 'em by when you're done, or I can always pick 'em up next Sunday. Oh, and feel free to scan whatever you want so you can have a copy of it."

"Thanks again for this, Amy."

"You're welcome." She stepped forward to give him a goodnight kiss and he met her halfway. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

"Say night night to daddy, John." John looked at Ricky and waved.

"Nite nite daddy."

"Goodnight, buddy." Ricky watched Amy walk down the stairs and then shut and locked the door. He made a beeline for the couch, ignoring the few toys that were scattered on the floor. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, not sure what he'd discover within the canvas bag but knowing some of it might make him emotional. Ricky opened the bag and looked inside. Seeing John's baby book, he decided to start with that one. Setting the bag beside him, Ricky placed the book on his lap and opened it, smiling as he saw a picture of John in his hospital basinet. He turned the page and was somewhat saddened when he saw that it contained John's family tree. While Amy had included his and his father's names, he noticed that the tree on Amy's side was more filled in. Ricky had no idea what his grandparents' names were as he'd never met or even heard of them. He always figured his parents were only children and their parents were dead since he'd never met any relatives growing up. _Maybe I should talk to my mom about that._ Ricky developed a whole new respect for Amy as he continued looking through John's baby book. He remembered how tired and out of it she had been the first few months after John was born but she'd obviously made an effort to keep a through record of John's life. There were pages to keep track of John's diet, when each of his teeth had come in, his growing height and weight, and his motor skill development. He realized sadly that he'd missed quite a few infant milestones in John's life. He hadn't been there for the day John held his head up for the first time or discovered his hand. That made Ricky pause for a moment. _What does it mean 'discovered' his hand?_ Ricky made a mental note to ask Amy about that tomorrow at school. He smiled a few moments later as he saw and recalled that he'd been there when John rolled over for the first time, remembering how excited Amy had been that particular Saturday morning. As Ricky flipped through the book he was able to combine his memories of that time of John's life with what Amy had recorded in the book to piece together an entire picture of what John's first year of life had been like for Amy and he vowed they would spend more time together as a family so neither of them missed out on any more milestones.

Ricky finished looking through John's baby book and reached into the canvas bag for another book, this time pulling out a scrapbook. Amy had cut out letters to spell John's First Year on the cover. He knew she liked scrapbooking but he'd never actually seen any of her work. When he'd stayed in her room for those four weeks, he felt like an intruder, violating some sort of 'sacred Amy space' and so he hadn't looked through any of her personal things. She'd shown him where she'd kept books, toys, etc. for John in her room and those were the only things he touched. As he began flipping through the scrapbook, he was awed at how good she was at it. Each and every single page was thoughtfully laid out with a theme that showcased a small number of pictures beautifully. His favorite would have to be John's first bath page. It had a water droplet background with a rubber ducky border and showcased three pictures of John. The largest one filled most of the page and showed John smiling as Amy gently cascaded water down his stomach to rinse away some suds. There were two smaller pictures to the right of this one that showed John holding a rubber ducky and then chewing on the edge of the towel as Amy tried to wrap him in it. Just above the bottom edge of the rubber ducky border there was a kind of banner made up of bath-related items: a folded towel, a bottle of baby shampoo, a small bathtub, a shower cap and a back scrub brush. This album was bittersweet for Ricky to look at. While Amy had done a wonderful job of recording John's first year in pictures, Ricky realized that he'd missed a lot of simple family moments as well as milestones. He'd also missed a lot of holidays, he realized with regret. He hadn't been there to see John's first picture with the Easter bunny or Santa. He hadn't been there, all day, for John's first Christmas. He hadn't been there for Amy's first, or second, Mother's Day.

He finished looking through the scrapbook with a sigh but forced himself to grab another one out of the bag. This one was much smaller than the last one and Amy had titled it Here Comes John. Ricky opened it and froze with awe as he saw a sonogram. He took his time examining the photo, thankful that Amy had used her scrapbooking prowess to highlight the area of the photo showing John as Ricky couldn't figure out how to look at the picture and spot him. Each successive page showed images of Amy with her growing belly and a sonogram of John, accompanied by numbers and words explaining how many weeks old John was in the sonogram. He smiled as he flipped, watching John get bigger and bigger and more and more recognizable as a baby in each sonogram. The second to last page contained one large picture of John, asleep, on the day he was born. The last page contained a picture of Amy in her hospital bed, smiling down at their sleeping son. There were words at the top of the picture that read: Welcome to Our Family. Beneath it were the words: John Nathaniel Juergens and his birth date. Ricky stared at the image for several moments as he relived the day John entered their lives. It was a long, emotional day and night but completely worth it.

Ricky put the scrapbook and John's baby book back in the bag, noticing there was one more book inside. _I'll look at it tomorrow._ He got ready for bed and let his mind drift back over what he'd seen and discovered tonight. _Maybe Ben's right and it's not enough_ he thought as he climbed into bed. _Maybe you just have to accept that there's some things you're gonna miss out on_ he thought sadly as he turned off his lamp and drifted off to sleep.


	11. Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

Ricky sat at his dining table eating breakfast and eyeing the last scrapbook that was in the canvas bag. He had decided to look through it while he ate but hadn't worked up the nerve to open it yet, especially since it didn't have a title. Sighing, he finally flipped it open. This scrapbook contained more recent pictures of John but Amy was in most of them as well, leading Ricky to imagine this book would eventually be called Mommy and Me or something similar. He was filled with a sense of calm and peacefulness as he gazed at pictures of Amy with their son. Several pages in he noticed that he started to appear in more of the pictures as well and he smiled. Unknowingly, Amy's scrapbook had captured in pictures their changing dynamic, from a co-parenting couple to actual couple to a real family. He finished looking through the scrapbook the same time he finished his meal and got up to clean his dishes.

Even though he realized how much of his son's life he'd missed out on by not making being there as much of a priority as he could and should have, he hadn't missed out entirely. _And thankfully I got my priorities straight while he's still too young to remember all the drama Amy and I went through with each other and in our own lives. Maybe it's time to stop dwelling on what I didn't do for Amy and focus on what I can do from this point on._ He set his cleaned dishes in the dish drain rack and dried his hands on a hand towel. _Starting with letting her know every chance I get how much she really means to me._ He smiled as a thought came to him. _And I think I'll start by letting the world know she's my girl._

At Grant High Ashley was sitting in the back of her driver's ed class with Griffin soaking up every word her instructor was saying, having discovered that driving didn't come as naturally to her as she had hoped.

"So remember. You'll need to show up at the driving depot at least half an hour before your scheduled drive so we can double check all your paperwork and get your log files set up." Their instructor dismissed them and Ashley headed out with Griffin close behind her.

"So how'd your first drive go?" he asked as they headed towards his locker. Ashley sighed.

"Got off to a rough start. But I can now say that I am an expert at parking in empty parking spots and driving around the school's parking lot," she said sarcastically, causing Griffin to chuckle. "Don't laugh." Griffin quit chuckling but continued to smile with amusement. "So how's **your** driving been going, Speed Racer?" she asked mockingly.

"Just wonderfully, thank you." He glanced sideways at Ashley as they continued walking. "My parents have been taking me out every day since I got my permit."

"Show off," she replied, pushing her hair back.

"Don't be so grumpy about it, Ash. If it makes you feel any better, the first time I got behind the wheel I almost took out one of my mom's rose bushes." Ashley laughed.

"How'd you do **that**!?" Griffin looked at her sheepishly as they reached his locker and he began to spin his combination.

"Well…..My dad was teaching me how to back around a corner and I sorta misjudged when I needed to turn and ended up backing into one of my mom's bushes." Ashley laughed, glad she wasn't the only fifteen year old who misjudged when to turn the steering wheel sometimes. "I've gotta use my allowance to pay to have the right taillight area repainted since the thorns scratched it up pretty good but at least my mom's bush is gonna make it."

"Good to hear," Ashley said with amusement. In another hallway Grace and Grant entered the school holding hands.

"I'm glad you're in a better mood today," he told her with a smile.

"It's hard not to be. That praise session really encouraged me. I know some people doubt that I'm really finding my way back to my faith, but doubters aren't my problem," she said confidently, causing Grant to smile even wider. _Where did this girl come from? Confidence, positive attitude, rolling with the punches. She's great!_ As she and Grant headed towards her locker they crossed paths with Adrian and Grace let go of Grant's hand to hug her. "Hi, Adrian! How was your weekend?"

"Good," Adrian told her with a tired smile. "Although this little one's been tiring me out with all the kicking," she explained while rubbing her abdomen.

"Is she kicking right now?" Grace asked excitedly. Adrian nodded and took Grace's right hand and put it over the spot she'd just been kicked. Grace squealed with glee when she felt a tiny kick. "That's so amazing!" She bent close to Adrian's belly. "Hello, little one. I'm your aunty Grace and I can't wait to meet you," she said in a baby voice, drawing some curious stares from several students who had overheard her. Grace felt another kick beneath her hand and smiled widely while Grant chuckled at his girlfriend. _My own personal little ray of sunshine._

Amy was at her locker talking with Madison about their history paper assignment when Ricky came down the stairs. He smiled when he spotted her and made a beeline for her. Amy paused in her conversation and smiled at him when she saw him approaching. Before she could greet him, he pulled her close by her waist and kissed her deeply, not caring who was watching. He pulled away and Madison giggled at Amy's flushed face.

"Morning, gorgeous," he said with a smile, still holding onto her waist.

"I'll see you later, Amy," Madison said, recognizing it was time for her to leave the two love birds alone. Amy was a little breathless and surprised to be greeted so enthusiastically while they were at school.

"Hi," she said when she finally regained the ability to speak. "What was that for? Not that I'm complaining." Ricky chuckled and kissed her again, briefly this time.

"Because I love you and I'm happy to see you." She smiled at his response.

"I thought we were trying to keep things low key at school," she said, spinning around in his arms to retrieve her chemistry book before shutting her locker and turning back around to face him. Ricky shrugged.

"I think it's time we stop worrying about what other people think or say about us. Don't you?" he asked her, arching his eyebrows slightly. She thought about his statement for a minute and then nodded.

"Yeah. Let the paparazzi and gossips do what they want," she agreed with a confident smile. He took her hand and they headed to the band room for class.

As the happy couple headed to class, Ben walked into his English class and took his seat, lost in his own head space. He was still trying to process the fact that his plan to take better care of Adrian and their daughter had failed before he'd even been allowed to attempt it. Henry and Alice were already seated and turned in their seats to talk to Ben before the final bell rang.

"So how'd it go?" Henry asked from his seat to Ben's left. "You didn't call or text last night to let me know."

"Yeah," Alice said anxiously from her seat in front of Ben. "Was it a yes, no, or a maybe?"

"No," Ben told them, his tone sorrowful. Henry squeezed his shoulder.

"Sorry, buddy. I know you meant well," Henry said consolingly. Alice gave him a sympathetic look.

"Sorry, Ben." He looked at her with narrowed eyes.

"You weren't on board with the idea anyway," he told her accusingly.

"True, but that doesn't mean I'm happy when you get your hopes up about something and then it doesn't happen." Ben softened at her words.

"Thanks, Alice."


	12. Harrowed Halloween

September turned into October and before long the students of Grant High were anxiously waiting for Halloween, the one night of the year they were allowed, even expected, to pretend to be someone else and just have a little fun.

"So what are you gonna be for Halloween," Griffin asked Ashley as he leaned against the locker next to hers. "I was thinking of going as Quasimodo."

"Aren't we a little too old to play dress up?"

"Nope. Not until you graduate from college," he assured her. Ashley shook her head at her friend.

"I don't know. You know I'm not good at parties," she reminded him. Griffin nodded.

"True. But this time you don't have any gossip headlines to share. Besides," he said while wiggling his eyebrows. "Your boyfriend Toby said he'd be there." Ashley rolled her eyes but the effect was undermined by her slight blush.

"He's not my boyfriend."

"Uh huh," Griffin said in a tone letting her know he didn't believe her. "Then why'd you pay Joe two weeks ago to find out who he was?"

"Pure curiosity," Ashley said as she shut her locker and began heading down the hallway.

"Uh huh. And I've got a bridge I wanna sell you." Ashley nudged Griffin with her shoulder as the two rounded a corner and parted ways to head to their respective classes. At Ricky's locker Amy was leaning her back against the locker next to his and clutching her books to her chest.

"I don't know, Ricky. You sure your mom won't mind?" she asked and then bit her lip nervously. Ricky looked over at her and smiled. He quickly leaned over to kiss her and then stood upright again.

"Do you have any idea how kissable you look when you do that?" he asked her with a smile, causing her to blush. "And no, my mom won't mind. Actually she volunteered. Although I'm pretty sure she just wants to take him trick or treating."

"But don't you think our costumes would be a little….I don't know. Weird?"

"How so?" he asked, shutting his locker and slinging his arm over her shoulders as they made their way down the hallway. Amy looked at her boyfriend incredulously.

"Because I'm not an angel and you're **definitely** not a devil." Ricky smirked at her.

"But that's the beauty of it. Our costumes would have multiple meanings."

"Like what?"

"One, most of the student body thinks you're an innocent angel who got burned by a devil. Two, people see us as a good girl and a bad boy. And three, you're my angel and since opposites attract that would make me your little devil," he explained, wiggling his eyebrows and causing Amy to giggle.

"You're such a goofball sometimes."

"I love you too," he told her and them promptly kissed her cheek, neither of them caring any longer who saw them being affectionate with each other in public.

In the main hallway, Grace was sitting at a table that had been set up to sell tickets to the Halloween dance, having joined the committee for said dance. She smiled when she saw Jack approach the table.

"Hi, Jack. Long time no see," she said cheerfully. He smiled back.

"Hey, Grace."

"So do you need to buy a ticket?" He nodded.

"Yeah." Grace took out a ticket form a rubber band-bound stack.

"$8.00 please." Jack handed her a ten dollar bill and Grace handed it to the girl sitting next to her who was in charge of the money box. She made change and then handed it back to Jack while Grace handed him his ticket.

"See you at the dance," the girl said politely.

"Thanks," he said to her before looking back at Grace. "See 'ya, Grace." Grace waved and Jack walked away. Further down the hallway at Lauren's locker Jesse was telling her he could now attend the Halloween dance, if she still wanted to go.

"So someone messed up the schedules and they had to shuffle some games around. Our next game got moved to next week so coach is giving us a couple days off to rest up."

"Sweet! So you still wanna go as pirates?"

"Yeah. Did you wanna go out to dinner first or no?"

"Nah. The dance doesn't go 'til late so we can just eat at home before we go."

"Sounds good," Jesse told her with a smile. He leaned down to kiss her just as the warning bell sounded. They quickly joined the stream of straggling students scurrying off to their respective classes. The morning passed like any other day and lunchtime found Amy and Ricky enjoying their lunch with Madison, Lauren, Justin and Jesse. As she did every day, Amy called the nursery to check on John. Ricky smiled knowingly but didn't say anything, secretly finding it comforting that Amy worried so much about their son when he wasn't within her line of sight.

"Thank you for calling Little Cherubs Daycare center, this is Diane speaking."

"Hi, Diane. It's Amy."

"Hi, Amy. Give me a moment to patch you through to John's room." Amy tapped her fingers on the table as she waited for Jennifer, the main attendant in John's play room to pick up.

"Hi, Amy. I was just about to call you." Amy was suddenly on full alert and her look of alarm made Ricky suddenly tense as well.

"What's wrong?" she asked anxiously, getting the attention of everyone else at the table.

"It's nothing serious," Jennifer assured her. "John's just a little sick. He has a slight fever and he just threw up his snack." Amy let out a relief sigh.

"I'm on my way." She quickly ended the call and gathered up her lunch, Ricky doing likewise.

"What's wrong?" he asked tensely.

"John's sick." Her eyes became sympathetic. "He's got a slight fever and he just threw up." She turned to Lauren and Madison. "Could you guys get my assignments for me?" They nodded in sync.

"Of course," Madison assured her. Amy and Ricky headed inside towards the counselor's office.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Amy shook her head.

"There's no point in both of us missing the rest of the school day. I'll text you if he gets worse," she assured him as they reached the counselor's office and Amy waked in.

"Hi. What can I do for you two?" she asked politely.

"I need to leave campus."

"Because…"

"I just spoke to one of our son's caregiver's at his daycare center and he's sick. I need permission to leave campus to go take him home." The counselor looked puzzled for a moment.

"It's Amy, right?" she asked as she pulled out her tablet of permission slips to fill one out. She nodded and the counselor turned towards Ricky. "Did you need a pass too?" He shook his head.

"No." She finished filling out the form and handed it to Amy.

"Thanks." She quickly went to her locker to retrieve her purse and jacket. At the last minute she decided to grab out all of her textbooks and notebooks and put them in her bag, just in case she needed them to finish up her homework that evening. Ricky took some of the books from her and carried them out to her car. Her things deposited in the backseat, she turned to Ricky. "Can you give Ash a ride home? I'll text her to let her know."

"Oh course," he assured her. She got in and buckled up, quickly but carefully backing out of her parking space, and headed to pick up her sick baby. When she arrived at the nursery she headed straight for John's playroom. She signed John out on the sign-in/sign-out roster and looked around for her son. She spotted him snuggled up with Naomi, the other caregiver who worked in John's playroom, tightly hugging his bear and blanket, and she quickly made her way over. When John spotted her he reached up towards her.

"Mommy," he said, his voice sounding sick and needy. She gingerly picked him up and he snuggled into her. "Tummy hut," he moaned. Amy rubbed his back.

"I know, baby." Naomi stood up.

"We had just checked his temperature before you called and it was 99.2. We gave him a dose of baby Tylenol just to be safe," Naomi informed her. Amy checked her watch and thanked Naomi with a slight nod. She headed over to the cubbie area to retrieve John's bag and jacket. She carried him out to the car and had to extract him from her arms to buckle him into his car seat. "I know, baby. I know. We'll be home soon." She arrived home in record time, there being hardly any traffic out since everyone was at work or on their lunch break. Her first order of business was to get John settled. Once she had him out of his car seat, she shut the door and armed her car, deciding to go back for her school books later. She unlocked the back door and was greeted by Moose's happy bark. He whined as Amy shut the door, sensing that something was amiss. She set her purse on the counter and then carried John upstairs to the bathroom to check his temperature, feeling that he was warm. Moose, sensing the John wasn't well, followed her. She took the ear thermometer out of the medicine cabinet and put down the toilet seat cover to sit on and Moose sat down in front of her. John moaned slightly and snuggled into her more. "Hang on, sweetie. Mommy just needs to check your temperature real quick." She put the end in John's ear and waited for it to beep. When it did she checked the reading and say that it was 99.1. She set the thermometer on the counter and headed to the nursery to get John changed into pajamas. Once he was changed, Amy sat in the rocking chair in the boys' rooms and rubbed John's back until he fell asleep, Moose never leaving their side.

Back at Grant High, Grant and Alice were animatedly debating whether zombies or vampires would become the dominate species if the world ended while Ben, Henry, Adrian and Grace looked on with amusement. Adrian turned towards Grace.

"Who knew your boyfriend liked scary movies," she remarked, taking a bite of her enchilada. Grace chuckled.

"I know. He just started introducing them to me and they're really not so bad. I can sit through an entire movie so long as it doesn't have a lot of blood and guts," she stated, taking a bite of her tuna fish sandwich. Ben looked at Henry who was sitting across from him at their lunch table.

"Who do you think would win?" Henry shook his head.

"I'm siding with Alice. For my own protection," he declared, taking a bite of his pizza. Alice momentarily glared at him, knowing Henry often sided with her simply to avoid starting an argument, and then continued her friendly debate with Grant. Meanwhile Ricky tried to locate Ashley. He found her eating lunch with Griffin under the shade of one of the trees in the central courtyard.

"Hey, Ashley," he called out when he spotted her. She looked up to see who had called her and spotted Ricky jogging over to her.

"Yeah?"

"I'm gonna give you a ride home today." Ashley's brows furrowed with surprise.

"Something wrong with Amy's car?" Ricky shook his head and his eyes became filled with worry.

"She called the nursery and had to go pick up John 'cuz he's sick." Ashley became slightly alarmed.

"Is it serious?" Griffin asked hesitantly.

"I don't think so. They told Amy he threw up and has a slight fever," he informed them, causing them both to relax. "She said she's call or text me if he got worse."

"Ok. Am I gonna meet you in the parking lot after school then?" Ashley asked, picking up her bottle of juice to open it.

"Yeah. That'll work." Ashley nodded in agreement and Ricky headed back to the gang to finish eating his lunch.

Back home, Amy was gently placing her now sleeping toddler in his crib. She made sure his teddy bear was near him and then grabbed the baby monitor. She turned to Moose and whispered so she wouldn't wake John.

"Stay here, Moose." Moose laid down next to John's crib and Amy headed downstairs to retrieve her school books from her car. She managed to get all her books out in one trip and set the pile on the kitchen counter so she could lock the door behind her. She put the baby monitor on top of the stack and carried it upstairs to her bedroom. She went back downstairs to retrieve her purse and likewise carried it up to her room. She took out her phone to text her parents what was going on: _John's sick. Counselor gave me permission 2 leave school but I need 1 of u 2 call and excuse me 4 the rest of the day. Thanks._ She then sent a text to Ashley: _John's sick. Ricky said he'd give you a ride home after school_. She made sure her phone was set to vibrate and then set her reminder alarm to go off every half hour. Just as she finished setting her alarm she got texts back from her parents.

George: _I'll call._

Anne: _Let us know if u need anything_

She sent replies back and then heard John moan over the baby monitor. She went into the nursery and found him sitting up and looking around. When John spotted her he held up his arms and Amy picked him up. She picked up his teddy bear and then carried him to her bedroom, Moose following beside her. She sat on her bed resting her back against the headboard and motioned for Moose to join her. He jumped up onto the bed and laid down right beside her as Amy rubbed John's back in soothing circles trying to get him to fall back asleep. At Grant High the bell signaling the end of lunch rang and the student body moved back inside for their afternoon classes.

"So you really don't wanna go?" Ben asked Adrian as they stopped at her locker. "I mean, we don't have to dance if you don't want to but we haven't really just hung out and acted like regular high school students in a while. We deserve a night of fun." Adrian smirked and arched an eyebrow at him. Ben suddenly realized that his statement could be taken the wrong way and quickly tried to back pedal. "That's not what I meant. I just meant we should go out and enjoy ourselves. 'Cuz it's Halloween and all," he hastily added. Adrian chuckled at how perplexed he'd gotten over his poor choice of words.

"I know what you meant," she assured him, taking several notebooks out of her locker. "It's just that there aren't exactly a lot of cute costumes for pregnant teens and going to a costume party without a costume is just lame," she explained. "I'd rather stay in and watch scary Halloween movies.

"Want me to come over and join you?" he suggested. Adrian's face lit up at his offer.

"That'd be great, Benny." As the rest of Grant High settled into their afternoon classes, Amy was at home giving her sleeping son a tepid bath. Her cellphone reminder had chimed and she carried John into the bathroom to check his temperature again. Finding that it had spiked to 100.6, she had quickly returned to her room to retrieve her bathing suit. She gingerly placed John on her bed and quickly changed before dashing to John's room for his little swimmers. She managed to get him changed, fill the tub with tepid water and get them both into it without John waking up. Her phone was sitting on the toilet seat lid so she would be able to hear the reminder alarm. Moose laid down on the floor near the tub, intently watching his poor, sick little owner. When Amy's half hour reminder alarm caused her phone to vibrate again, she checked John's temperature and saw that it had dropped down only slightly to 100.3. She sighed worriedly and remained in the tub for two hours, checking John's temperature every half hour and hoping she wouldn't need to take John to the emergency room and call Ricky, causing him to miss school. It was only at the end of the second hour that she sighed with relief when she saw that his temperature had finally dipped below 100. She slowly climbed out and wrapped them both in a large bath towel. She took him back to his room to get him a clean diaper and clothes. She was just about finished when Moose's ears suddenly perked up. He charged downstairs to see who the intruder was and wagged his tail excitedly when he saw Ashley and Ricky.

"Hey, Moose. Where's Amy?" Ashley asked. Moose turned around and headed back upstairs, Ricky and Ashley following. They followed Moose to Amy's room where they found her in a bathing suit and gently laying John down on the bed.

"What's with the bathing suit?" Ashley asked in a whisper.

"I had to give him a tepid bath and knew it'd be easier if we were both in the tub," Amy replied in a whisper, going to her dresser to take out dry clothes and underwear.

"How's he doing?" Ricky asked, also in a whisper,, as he moved closer to the bed to look at John.

"His fever spiked to 100.6 but the bath helped bring it back down," she informed him, causing Ricky to spin around in her direction.

"Why didn't you call me!?" he hissed.

"It was only **just** over 100. Any higher and I would have," she assured him. She turned her eyes toward Ashley. "Would you watch him while I get changed and empty the tub?" Ashley nodded and carefully sat on the bed next to her nephew, Moose right at her feet. Ricky followed Amy out into the hallway.

"I'll come by after work to check on you guys," he promised, kissing her forehead.

"Okay. See you tonight." Ricky headed downstairs while Amy headed to the bathroom. In the kitchen he was heading out just as Lauren was about to knock on the back door.

"We weren't sure if John would be sleeping so we figured we'd knock instead of ringing the doorbell," Lauren explained.

"Yeah, he's sleeping right now. See you guys later." He headed off to work and Madison shut the door behind him. They headed up to Amy's room and found John asleep with Ashley watching over him.

"How is he?" Madison asked in a whisper. Ashley looked up in her direction and then back down at John.

"He's still got a fever." They all quietly watched him sleep for several minutes until Amy came back into the room.

"We brought your assignments," Lauren told her in a whisper, taking a small stack of papers out of the binder she was carrying.

"Thanks," Amy whispered back with a smile.

"Call us if you need anything," Madison said, giving Amy a hug.

"We'll see ourselves out," Lauren said, giving Amy a hug as well. Amy turned her attention to her child.

"Thanks, Ash. I got him." Ashley stood up and headed towards Amy's doorway. She stopped and turned to look at Moose.

"Come on, Moose," she said, motioning with her arm for him to follow her. He looked up at Amy and whined. She smiled at him and scratched him behind his ear.

"It's okay, Moose. We're fine for now," she assured him. "Go on." Moose got up and followed Ashley downstairs. As Amy settled John more securely in the middle of her bed and then went over to her desk to begin working on her homework, Ricky was forcing himself to stay focused on his work as he turned on the meat slicer to fulfill the list of orders for beef cuts. Nora walked past him headed towards the cooler and noticed the worried look in his eyes. She quickly retrieved the wrapped order she was after and returned to the counter, handing it to her customer.

"Alright, Mrs. Alderman," Nora told the older woman with a smile. "You're all set." The woman smiled as she took her order.

"Thank you, Nora. You have a nice day."

"You too." With no other customers waiting at the counter, Nora walked over to Ricky. "You alright?" Ricky glanced up at her and then back to the meat he was arranging on a tray to place in the cooler.

"Peachy," he replied sarcastically, causing Nora to roll her eyes and sigh.

"Fine," she said sharply, turning to walk away. Ricky sighed, knowing he was being rude to his mother for no real reason.

"Hang on." She stopped and glanced over her shoulder at him. Ricky removed his plastic gloves and carried the tray to the cooler. When he came back out he explained his mood to his mother. "John got sick this morning so he's home with Amy right now." Nora felt sympathy for her grandson and gave Ricky a sympathetic smile before chuckling quietly. "What's so funny about that?"

"Nothing. It's just obvious he didn't inherit your immune system." Ricky looked at her with confusion as they headed to the stock room to retrieve the pastas Bunny asked them to restock the shelves with. "You never got sick as a kid. I mean never," she explained, squatting down to open one of the large boxes. "Does he like chicken noodle soup?"

"Don't know. I guess. Why?" Ricky asked, slightly perplexed by her question, as he retrieved a small hand cart to load the large boxes onto. Nora opened another box before answering.

"If he does then maybe you'd wanna take some over to Amy's for him after work," she replied, shrugging as though her suggestion should've been obvious.

"I'll think about it," he told her noncommittally.

"And tell him Grandma Nora says hi," she said with a small smile as she loaded the opened boxes onto the cart. She saw the hesitant look in Ricky's eye and stifled a sad sigh. "Or just tell him daddy's 'friend' Ms. Nora says hi," she amended, trying to let him off the hook. Ricky let out a huff of air.

"Mom," he began.

"I get it, Ricky," she said, letting him off the hook. "Besides, I'm sure he gets plenty of love from his **other** grandmas," she said a little tartly before pushing the cart out to the front of the store. Ricky glared angrily at her back for a moment before following her to help restock the shelves. He knew it bugged his mother, a lot, that he called and thought of Margaret as his mother but he didn't feel like he should have to view her differently just because his birth mother had moved to town and he saw her more regularly. Margaret was the mother who took care of him, real care of him. She'd been there to love and support him, even though he hadn't really appreciated it right after he'd been placed with her and Shakur.

While Ricky was sifting through his mommy issues, Grace was in her room putting the finishing touches on her costume. As a member of the dance committee, she had to be at the school gym early to make sure everything was ready to go. As she was pinning up her hair to look like Rose's in the flying scene from the Titanic, her phone rang. She smiled when she saw it was Grant.

"Hey, Grant," she said cheerfully.

"Hey, Grace. Just calling to let you know I'm heading over to pick you up."

"'Kay. See you in a little bit." Grace ended the call and finished securing her hair with bobby pins. She wrapped her shawl around her and pinned it before heading downstairs. She found her mom in the kitchen putting a pan of brownies into the oven. "So how do I look?" she asked, doing a small turn for her mom's inspection. Kathleen smiled as she looked over Grace's costume.

"Very convincing," she assured her. Grace took a seat at the kitchen table.

"You baking brownies for a special occasion?" she asked curiously. Tom came into the kitchen just then.

"Did someone say bwownies?" he asked eagerly.

"Don't get too excited, Tom. These are for the people in my grief counseling group," Kathleen informed him.

"Aw shucks," Tom said, snapping his fingers to emphasis his disappointment. Kathleen chuckled and gave him a sideways hug.

"I'll make you guys some later."

"Deal!" Tom exclaimed, heading towards the living room to watch TV.

"So are the meetings really helping?" Grace asked sincerely and Kathleen nodded.

"Very much. It's been a little over a year since we lost your dad but some days it stills feel like it happened yesterday," she admitted sadly. "And talking about it, knowing I'm not alone and what I'm feeling is normal, really helps me get through those tough days." Grace nodded in agreement.

"I know what you mean," Grace said sadly. "Some days I still miss him soooo much." Kathleen took a seat at the table and squeezed Grace's hand as she her a small smile.

"All we can do is keep on living, one day at a time." They shared a smile and a moment of silence. It was broken by Kathleen giving her daughter's hand another small squeeze. "And I think you going to a Halloween party and having some good, clean fun is a good way to do that. There was a knock at the door and Grace smiled when she saw Grant.

"See you later, mom," she said, rising from the table and picking up her purse.

"Have fun you two," she said to Grace and Grant after Grace had opened the door.

"See you later, Mrs. Bowman," Grant said politely before the two teens headed off to the dance. Kathleen closed the door behind them. Back at the Juergens house Amy was trying to coax John into eating some chicken broth. He was sitting sideways in her lap and hiding his face in her side as she brought a spoonful of broth towards his mouth.

"I know you don't think you're hungry, honey, but you need some food in your tummy so you can get better," she explained in a soothing tone. John looked up at her and whimpered, causing Amy's heart to break. Even so, she continued to coax him. "Just one teeny little bit for mommy. Okay?" Amy held the spoon close to John's mouth for several moments before he finally opened his mouth enough for Amy to feed him the spoonful of broth. She looked at him expectantly as she pulled the spoon out of his mouth and watched him swallow, waiting to see if he's throw the broth back up.

"Mommy, hungwee." Amy sighed with relief and fed him another spoonful of broth, glad John was no longer resisting. His little meal completed, Amy set the spoon back in the empty bowl and shifted John in her arms. She rubbed his back slowly and gradually he drifted back off to sleep. Amy placed him securely in the middle of her bed once more and worked on her homework some more, keeping her cellphone nearby so she would hear its alarm, reminding her to check John's temperature and give him more Tylenol if necessary.

She was lost in her studies, trying to learn the chapter in her trigonometry book she'd missed by not being in class that afternoon so she could finish her homework assignment, when she was interrupted by a soft knock on her door. Amy looked up and saw her mom.

"How's he doing?" Anne asked in a whisper, moving closer to the bed to gaze at her sleeping grandson.

"Okay," Amy replied tiredly. "His fever's still holding around 99 but I managed to get some broth into him."

"When dinner's ready I'll bring you up a plate," Anne informed her, walking back towards Amy's door.

"Thanks, mom." As Anne headed downstairs to finish her family's dinner, she crossed paths with Ashley as she came out of the bathroom, wearing heavy amounts of mascara and black eyeliner and eye shadow. Anne arched an eyebrow questioningly, inwardly cringing as she mentally flashed back to Ashley's wannabe Goth days.

"I know what you're thinking," Ashley said in a singsong voice. "It's just for my costume. I'm going as a vampire," she informed her mother, showing her the fake plastic fangs she had in her hand. The two of them headed downstairs and then Ashley made her way to her bedroom. George walked into the kitchen a little bit later carrying a giggling Robbie.

"So how's the little guy doing?" he asked, dodging Robbie's hands as he played with his father's face, not caring George was trying to have a conversation.

"He's still got a slight fever but Amy managed to get some broth into him," she answered, her voice sounding a little worried.

"Aww, poor baby."

"Baby?" Robbie asked excitedly, looking around trying to spot it. George chuckled.

"No baby, Robster. Just John."

"Where John?" Robbie asked, continuing to look around, trying to spot his favorite playmate.

"John's sick, buddy. He can't play right now." Robbie looked at his father.

"No play?" he asked, his lower lip quivering slightly.

"Play later," George assured him, trying to avoid a Robbie meltdown. Robbie sniffled but didn't cry.

"Otay."

"Wanna watch daddy set the table?" Robbie nodded eagerly and George chuckled as he carried his son into the dining room and secured him in his high chair. "So where's our little sugar plum? I haven't seen her since we got home," George said to Anne as he reentered the kitchen to get dining plates and silverware.

"Transforming herself into a vampire," Anne informed him while she stirred a pot of cheesy pasta shells with her right hand and dumped in a can of peas with her left. George groaned and then walked into the dining room to set the table.

"Does that mean the black makeup's made a reappearance?" he asked worriedly when he came back into the kitchen. Anne chuckled.

"Yes. But hopefully it's only for tonight," she replied, giving George a hopeful expression. He smiled and kissed her cheek.

"Let's hope so."

Back at Boykewich Butcher's Ricky, Nora and Ben were clocking out for the night. Ben punched out and then turned to his colleagues behind him.

"'Night. Have a happy Halloween," he said with a wave before heading home.

"Happy Halloween, Ben," Nora called out, giving a small wave of her own. She turned to Ricky when he didn't say anything. "What, no 'goodnight' for your buddy Ben?" Ricky sighed as he clocked out.

"Are you really gonna scold me right now?"

"No. Just making conversation." She clocked out as well and then turned to face Ricky. "Well. Goodnight." Ricky gave her a small smirk.

"Goodnight." He headed upstairs to shower as Nora headed to her sponsor's house, his mind now solely focused on checking on his sick child. He showered, dressed and headed over to Amy's. He knocked on the front door when he arrived, not wanting to ring the doorbell in case John was sleeping again. George was the one who opened it.

"Hey, Ricky. They're up in Amy's room," he said, motioning over his shoulder, already knowing Ricky was more interested in seeing John than chatting with him. Ricky headed upstairs, quietly approaching Amy's room and smiled at his sleeping son. He glanced to his left and saw Amy at her desk focused on her school work with a plate of food next to her.

"Hey," he said in a whisper, startling Amy who gave a small gasp and started. "Sorry," he said apologetically. "So how's he doing?" he asked as he moved closer to Amy's bed. Amy stood up and walked over to him.

"He's still got a slight fever but other than that he's just been sleeping on and off. Poor guy's just worn off," she said sadly.

"Poor little guy." Ricky turned towards Amy. "My other mom says hi by the way."

"Nora?" Ricky nodded at Amy's questioning look.

"Long story. You need anything?" she shook her head.

"No. I'll call if he gets any worse," she assured him. "You go ahead to the party." Ricky looked at her incredulously.

"I'm not going without you," he said resolutely, causing Amy to smile and then kiss his cheek.

"Life doesn't stop just because a little boy gets sick. Even if you don't wanna go to the party anymore, you don't have to hang out here. John and I will be fine." Ricky looked torn, not sure he really wanted to leave.

"I'll keep my phone on," he assured her before kissing her goodnight. He paused in the doorway and turned to look back at the bed, watching as Amy adjusted John's blanket over him. He knew he wouldn't be sleeping well that night.


	13. Happy Halloween

While Ricky headed home for the night, Ben was pulling up outside Adrian's house. He parked and grabbed a plastic bag filled with junk food as he climbed out. When he rang the doorbell, Adrian answered it with a smile.

"Hey, Benny. Come on in," she said, taking a step back so he could enter and she could close the door behind him. "What's in the bag?" Ben gave her a mischievous smirk.

"Movie watching essentials," he replied, making his way to the kitchen where he set the bag out onto the table. He began pulling items out and setting them on the table after he showed them to her. "We've got popcorn, several different kinds of soda, Twizzlers, Whoppers, Airheads and Reese's pieces. The perfect combination of chocolate, sugar and salty goodness," he told her with a smile. Adrian laughed with delight.

"This is great, Ben!" She gave him a hug. "Tonight's gonna be awesome!" They worked together to pop the popcorn and load up the rest of their goodies onto trays and then headed towards the living room.

"So which movie do you wanna watch first?" Ben asked as he knelt in front of the DVD player where Adrian had stacked several movies.

"Let's start with Chucky," she said, putting a handful of popcorn into her mouth.

"Chucky it is." Ben loaded up the movie and then turned off the lights before joining her on the couch. Adrian hit play and their eyes became glued to the TV.

At Grant High Grace was talking to one of her fellow committee members about the balloons while Grant sat patiently at one of the round tables that had been set up around the room, watching his girlfriend with a lazy smile.

"So Albert said some of the balloons on the last archway came loose and they had to re-secure them. But it'll be done by the time the dance officially opens." The girl Grace was speaking to nodded just as another girl dressed as a flight attendant ran across the gym floor calling out to her.

"Penny! Penny!" The flight attendant bent over slightly to catch her breath when she reached them. Grace and Penny waited for the girl to explain what the emergency was. "We've got a problem! The cart the photographer was using to move all his equipment inside broke. We need to grab a couple of the guys to help him finish moving or he won't be set up in time!" the flight attendant wailed. Grace put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Take a deep breath and then try to relax, Georgia." Grace gave her a reassuring smile. "That's why we're here early." The committee members worked together to put the finishing touches on the dance and all systems were go when students began to arrive at 8:00. Grace and Georgia worked the greeting table. Grace took students' tickets and stamped their hands to show they'd already paid while Georgia sold tickets to any students who had decided to attend at the last minute and needed to purchase a ticket. Inside, the gym had been decorated to resemble a haunted castle, complete with black lights and fog from a fog machine giving everything an eerie vibe. There was a photo station where students could pay $5.00 to have their picture taken with one of three haunted-themed backdrops and their choice of props from three large plastic bins; pictures could be picked up at the end of the night. There were several buffet tables filled with finger foods, sugary deserts and punch, the punch being carefully guarded by two teachers so no one could try and spike it. By 8:15 quite a few teens had shown up with a large number of them rocking out to the music the DJ was playing. Two other committee members came out to relieve Grace and Georgia so they could go enjoy the dance. Grace found Grant sitting at a table talking to Alice and Henry, who were dressed as Peter Pan and Tinkerbelle.

"Hey guys," she said a little loudly, to be heard over the music. Alice and Henry nodded in her direction and then Grace turned to look at Grant, inclining her head towards the dance area. He got up and took her hand and the headed out to join their school mates in shaking their groove things. At the buffet table Ashley and Griffin were loading their plates up with junk food.

"I thought you were gonna eat before the dance?" he asked with surprise when he saw how many sweets Ashley was piling on her plate.

"I did," she informed him. "Now I'm eating dessert." She popped a Jolly Rancher in her mouth and headed towards the punch. She noticed cans of soda in a tub of ice at the end of the table and opted for a Dr. Pepper instead. Griffin got himself a cup of punch and then they looked around for an empty table to sit at, attempting to readjust his fake Quasimodo hump that had shifted too far to one side. A task made more difficult by the fact he had a plate of food in one hand and a cup of punch in the other. At the photo station Lauren and Jesse were waiting in line to get their picture taken, having agreed they'd rather get a picture before dancing or eating messed up their pirate costumes.

"Dibs on that pirate hook," Jesse said to Lauren, pointing to said prop lying near the top of one of the prop bins. She laughed at her boyfriend's enthusiasm.

"Dibs noted," she informed him with amusement. While they waited in line, Madison and Justin entered the gym dressed as Raggedy Ann and Andy.

"So where do you wanna start?" Justin asked her. "Pictures, food or dancing?" Madison glanced around at the three options.

"Definitely pictures," she said happily, grabbing Justin's hand and dragging him towards the photo station, Justin smiling behind her. Not simply because he found her moments of having a take-charge attitude endearing but also because walking behind his girlfriend gave him the opportunity to check out her backside shamelessly.

By 9:00 the party was in full swing. There was a steady line at the photo station, the teachers and parent volunteers had replenished the snack and beverage supply, and the dance area was full but not uncomfortably packed. Apparently quite a few teens at Grant High felt they were too old to trick-or-treat for Halloween but were willing to take any excuse to party. Madison, Justin, Jesse and Lauren were resting at a table and chatting when a song came on that Madison and Lauren loved. Madison squealed and turned to Justin while Lauren smiled brightly at Jesse.

"I love this song! Let's dance!" Madison took Justin's hand and attempted to tug him out of his seat but he didn't get up.

"I need to rest a bit more, sweetie. I'll dance the next one."

"Me too," Jesse said, giving Lauren an apologetic smile. Lauren shrugged and grabbed Madison's hand instead and the two girls made their way to the dance area without their boyfriends. Justin chuckled as they scampered off.

"Sometimes I don't know if I can keep up with that girl," he said shaking his head slightly with a smirk on his face.

"I know what you mean," Jesse agreed, smiling as he watched his girlfriend dancing like she didn't have a care in the world. "But I'm willing to try." The two boys looked at each other and shared a smile, bonding a little more over their interesting girlfriends.

Back at Adrian's she and Ben were on their second movie, Bride of Chucky, when Ruben came home. Hearing the TV but seeing the lights off, he quietly made his way towards the living room to investigate. Seeing Adrian and Ben staring intently at the TV screen while absentmindedly stuffing popcorn into their mouths made him laugh. Unfortunately, he was standing directly behind them when he laughed and it startled Adrian, who shrieked and let go of the large bowl that was holding their popcorn, spilling it on the carpet and causing Ruben to laugh even more. Ben grabbed the remote and paused the movie while Adrian looked over her shoulder with alarm, narrowing her eyes with irritation when she saw her father.

"Dad! Seriously!?" Ruben smiled apologetically at her.

"Sorry, Adrian. I came home and heard the TV on with all the lights off. And when I found you two engrossed in your movie it just struck me as so ordinary. And given how unordinary our family's been in the past, I found that kinda funny," he explained, a smile still on his face.

"Well, funny man, now we need more popcorn." Adrian made a move to try and stand up.

"No, let me, since it's my fault and all." Ruben picked up the empty bowl and scooped the popcorn back into it before carrying it to the kitchen to dump it out and make a fresh batch.

"This seems like a good time for a bathroom break," Ben announced as he stood up. He stood in front of Adrian and held out his arms so she could grasp his hands. Once she did so he helped her stand up.

"Thanks, Benny," she said with a smile before making her way to the downstairs bathroom while Ben went to use the upstairs one. Next door at the Juergens house, George was in the living room with Anne watching the news when he heard a knock on the front door. He rose to answer it and found Ricky standing there holding a plastic bag.

"Hey, Ricky. What brings you by so late?" George asked as he stepped back so Ricky could enter.

"I brought a surprise for Amy," he admitted sheepishly, causing George to look at him curiously.

"What kind of surprise?"

"I feel bad that she couldn't go out tonight and enjoy Halloween so I brought Halloween to her.

"That's so sweet, Ricky," Anne said with a smile as she rose from the couch to greet him. Ricky headed upstairs while George and Anne returned to their spots on the couch to finish catching up on the news. Upstairs Ricky found Amy sitting on her bed rubbing John's back. She looked up with confusion when she saw him.

"What are you doing here?" she whispered. Ricky sat next to her on the bed.

"I have a surprise for you," he whispered back, giving her a sheepish smile and holding up the plastic bag for a moment. "How's he doing?"

"Okay. I just gave him some more Tylenol." She sighed. "His fever just doesn't wanna break." Feeling John's body relax from deep sleep, Amy stood up and gently placed him in the middle of her bed with his head on her pillows. "So what's the surprise?" Ricky rose and walked over to her desk, sliding her textbooks over a little. He opened the bag and removed a small plastic container of Halloween-decorated cookies, two small bottles of Hawaiian punch, and a small bag of 3 Musketeers bars. Amy smiled when she saw them.

"I felt bad that you didn't get to go out for Halloween so I brought Halloween to you." Amy cupped his face and kissed him for this thoughtful gesture. Ricky transferred their treats to the floor and then he and Amy sat down. They quietly chatted while they ate cookies and chocolate and drank punch. Once they'd eaten all the cookies and candy they'd wanted to, Ricky moved the rest back to Amy's desk and then took out his smart phone. He took an iPod speaker out of the bag and plugged his phone into it. He set the volume low and then turned around to offer Amy his hand so he could help her up. "I'm not a good dancer but a Halloween dance should have some dancing. Amy smiled as Ricky turned on his phone and then took her hand. The two of them had their very own Halloween dance right there in her bedroom.


	14. Sick Day

Amy was awakened by the sound of moans and sniffles. She opened her eyes and saw John squirming next to her. She glanced over her shoulder at her alarm clock and saw that it was 3am. She turned on her bedside lamp and John squinted his eyes and tried to bury his head against Amy's side. She felt his forehead and sighed with relief when she felt that it was damp, indicating his fever had finally broken. She also noticed the smell of John's dirty diaper and got up to change him. When she removed it she noticed that John had a slight touch of the runs so he was probably moaning from the bowel discomfort. Once his dirty diaper was deposited in the diaper genie and John was wearing a fresh one, Amy carried him downstairs to fill his sippie cup with Pedialyte. Hearing movement, Moose woke up and came into the kitchen from the laundry room to find the source of the noise; he wagged his tail happily when he spotted Amy. She ignored him and headed to the fridge to retrieve John's juice. She pursed her lips with frustration as she just managed to fill his cup with the rest of the liquid in the bottle. She screwed on the cap and tossed the empty bottle in the recycling bin before handing John his cup.

"Guess we're making a quick juice run," she told him as she carried him upstairs to put on his shoes and a jacket. She sat John on the bed and he drank his juice while Amy quickly and quietly slipped on a hoodie and pulled a pair of sweatpants on over her pajama shorts. She picked up John and then her purse and headed back downstairs. She unlocked the door to leave the house and then relocked it behind her, Moose quietly watching the whole time. It was times like this that Amy was grateful for her driver's license, a vehicle and her job. She buckled John into his car seat and then got into the driver's side and drove to Walmart, also glad at this moment that it was open twenty-four hours. She parked close to the entrance and then got John out, letting him hang on to his sippie cup. She made her way to the childcare products aisle and quickly picked up two jugs of Pedialyte and then headed to the self-checkout area to pay for her purchases. _Whoever invented debit cards is my hero right now_ she thought to herself as she swiped her debit card and then retrieved her receipt and her purchase. As Amy buckled John back into his car seat she noticed that he was starting to nod off again. She took his sippie cup so he wouldn't drop it and then got in and drove her little man back home. They were greeted at the door by Moose and Amy smiled to let him know she was happy to see him too. She locked the door behind her and then set her bag on the counter. She carried John upstairs to her room and laid him down on her bed. She took the baby monitor with her as she went back downstairs to put one jug of juice in the fridge to chill and the other in the pantry. Amy yawned and scratched Moose's ear as she grabbed her purse and headed upstairs. She took out her phone and set her alarm for 5:30. She shut her bedroom door behind her and then placed her phone on her nightstand before climbing back into bed. She pulled the covers over her and John and drifted back to sleep.

At 5:30am Amy's cellphone alarm went off. She grabbed for her phone blindly and quickly silenced it. She had to think for a minute about why her phone was going off before her alarm clock and then she remembered. She speed dialed the number of the daycare center.

"Thank you for calling Little Cherubs Daycare center, this is Diane speaking."

"Hi, Diane. It's Amy."

"Hi, Amy," Diane said cheerfully, even though it was only 5:30 in the morning. "How's John doing?"

"Well his fever broke but he's not quite back to his old self yet so I'm keeping him home today."

"Aww. I hope the little guy gets better soon."

"Thanks, Diane. But that also means I won't be in to work today."

"Of course. I'll let the ladies know."

"Thanks, Diane. Bye."

"Bye." Amy ended the call and the scent of a dirty diaper assaulted her nose. Amy looked over at her sleeping son and smiled to herself. Good thing I became an expert at changing a sleeping baby's diaper she mused as she pulled back the covers and got up to retrieve a fresh diaper and wipes from the stash she kept in her room. She got John cleaned and changed without waking him up and then tucked them back in for another hour.

That hour came and went before she knew it and at 6:30 Amy's alarm clock went off. She shut it off and got up to pull on her robe. She checked John's temperature once more and was glad to see that it was 99, which made sense since the poor baby had a slight case of the runs. Tucking him back in, Amy made her way downstairs, knowing her mom would be up getting started on breakfast. Anne looked up from the stove when she heard footsteps on the stairs.

"Morning, sweetheart. How's John doing?"

"Okay. His fever finally broke but now he's got the runs a little."

"Poor baby," Anne said, sympathy filling her eyes as she turned back towards the stove to add cream of wheat to the pot of boiling water.

"I already called the nursery and told them John and I wouldn't be in today but I need you or dad to call the school." Anne nodded to let Amy know she'd heard her. "I'll ask Ricky if he wouldn't mind giving Ash a ride home from school again today."

"Okay. If he can't just let us know and your dad or I will pick her up."

"'Kay." Amy turned to head back upstairs and Anne called out to her.

"I'll fix you and John a plate if you wanna head back to bed. I know you were up late with him." Amy gave her mother a grateful smile and headed back upstairs. She grabbed her phone as she sat down on her bed and sent out a couple of texts. The first one she sent to Ricky: _John's still sick. Can u give Ash a ride home today again? If not my parents can get her_. She then sent a text to Madison and Lauren: _John's still sick. Can u guys get my assignments again today please?_ Only Ricky was awake yet, used to being up this early on weekends when he had John, and sent her a reply right away: _No prob. On my way over_. Amy was momentarily confused about why he'd be coming over but then she realized Ricky was probably coming over to over Ash a ride to school too. She was about to text him that that wasn't necessary when John stirred next to her. He rubbed his left eye with his left fist and lifted his head to look around. Seeing Amy he sat up and looked at her, still rubbing his eye.

"Mommy hungwee." Amy set her phone down and picked John up.

"Let's go see what grandma's got cooking downstairs, 'kay?" John nodded and laid his head on her shoulder. She stood up and John saw his sippie cup on the nightstand.

"Sippie," he said while reaching out for his cup, causing Amy to stop and head back to her nightstand to retrieve it. She handed it to John and he began to drink from it as she headed towards the stairs. When he came up for air, Amy asked him a question.

"What do you say, John?" she reminded him.

"Tank you mommy," he answered, laying his head back on her shoulder. Amy rubbed his back as they entered the kitchen. Anne smiled when she saw him.

"Look who's up!"

"Someone said they were hungry," Amy told her as she buckled John into his highchair.

"At least he's got his appetite back." She turned the burners down to simmer and wiped her hands on a dish towel. "Everything's ready so go ahead and eat," she informed Amy as she headed upstairs to wake Robbie up and get him ready. John noticed Ricky walking up to the back door before he knocked and pointed at him.

"Daddy here," he informed Amy. She turned in the direction she saw him pointing and smiled when she noticed Ricky; she opened the door before he could knock, startling him slightly.

"John spotted you first," she explained, stepping aside so he could enter. He gave her forehead a kiss and then headed over to John, who was once again drinking from his sippie cup.

"How's he doing?" Ricky asked, bending to kiss John's forehead.

"His fever broke early this morning but he's got the runs a little," she answered, fixing John a small bowl of cream of wheat and adding a little sugar and milk to it to both sweeten and cool it down a little.

"Should he be drinking juice?" he asked worriedly.

"It's Pedialyte," she told him, placing the bowl and John's toddler spoon on his tray.

"So did Ash need a ride to school this morning too?" Amy turned to face him.

"No. I was about to text you that she had a ride to school this morning when John woke up and said he was hungry." Ricky shrugged.

"I don't mind. Plus I was gonna stop by anyway to check on you two." Amy smiled at his thoughtfulness.

"We're good," she assured him as Ashley came into the kitchen.

"Morning, John," she said with a small smile, making a beeline to him and ignoring her sister and Ricky. Ashley kissed his forehead too. "You feeling better today squirt?" she asked him. John just looked at her and continued eating his cream of wheat. "I'll take that as a yes."

"He doesn't have a fever anymore but he's still a little sick so I'm keeping him home today," Amy informed her, fixing her own bowl of cream of wheat. Ashley nodded in understanding.

"I'll give you a ride to school and back today," Ricky told her before turning to look at Amy. "Did you want me to drop off your homework for you?" Amy paused for a moment, realizing she hadn't thought about how to turn in the homework she'd done last night and gave Ricky a grateful smile.

"Yeah. Thanks."

"Are the wonder twins picking up your homework again?" Ashley asked as she grabbed a piece of toast from a platter on the counter and began spreading strawberry jam on it."

"I sent them a text and asked them to, but I don't think they're awake yet," she stated as she placed her bowl on the table and then headed to the counter to open the jar of grape jam so she could spread some on a piece of toast.

"Between the four of us, we've got you covered," Ricky assured her. Anne and George came down the stairs a moment later, a grumpy Robbie in George's arms. Ashley sniggered at her little brother's grumpy face.

"Good morning Sir Grumpsalot," Ashley greeted him, causing Anne to slightly scowl at her.

"Don't tease your brother," she scolded as she began fixing Robbie his breakfast. "And good morning, Ricky. Help yourself," she said, her back towards Ricky as she put a sausage patty on Robbie's small plate.

"No thank you."

"And eat quickly, Ash. Your dad's dropping you off this morning since Amy's staying home with John."

"There's no need," Ricky informed her and George. "I can give her a ride to school and back, since I'm stopping by after school anyway."

"Thank you, Ricky," Anne told him with a smile as she set Robbie's small bowl of cream of wheat and his little plate containing a sausage patty and half a piece of toast on his tray.

"Mommy more peas," John said, holding up his empty bowl. Amy took it from him and placed his own small plate with a sausage patty on it.

"Let's try a little protein first." John quickly speared the patty with his little fork and then lifted his fork and began eating his patty like it was on a toothpick.

As Ashley, George and Amy finished fixing their plates, Anne headed to the phone to call the school and excuse Amy for the day. Once she completed her call, she joined her family in eating their breakfast and chatting about their plans for the day, everyone checking on John occasionally to make sure he kept his food down. Once everyone was finished eating and the leftovers were put away, everyone headed out, leaving Amy, John and Moose behind. She turned and looked between them both with a small smile.

"Well boys. It's just us now. So how should we spend out sick day?"


	15. Thus Is Life

The first thing Ricky did after arriving at school was go to Amy's afternoon classes and drop off her homework. His second task was to find Lauren and Madison and figure out who was picking up Amy's homework assignments for that day. As Ricky headed towards Lauren's locker, Adrian was heading to her own. Another student came running around the corner quickly and bumped into her just enough to make her drop her books.

"Watch it!" she called out angrily at the student's back as he continued running down the hallway. "Carrying precious cargo here!" She looked at her dropped books contemplatively for a moment, trying to decide the best way to go about bending down to retrieve them and then attempting to stand back up. _Being pregnant really throws off your center of gravity._ Before she could make a move to bend, however, Jack came jogging over, having seen her get bumped, and picked them up for her.

"Here you go, Adrian."

"Thanks, Jack," she said, her eyes filled with gratitude.

"No problem."

"So how've you been?" she asked conversationally as they began walking together towards her locker. Jack shrugged.

"Okay I guess. Just trying to stay outta trouble and get my head on straight."

"Come again?" Jack sighed.

"I'm taking a break from dating to figure out what I really want in a relationship?" Adrian smiled mischievously.

"Plotting another way to try and get Grace back?" Jack shook his head sadly.

"No. I burned that bridge a long time ago." Adrian chuckled as they stopped in front of her locker and she began spinning her combination.

"Since when did that stop you from trying?" she asked with amusement.

"Since I realized it's not fair of me to date someone unless we're on the same page about sex," he admitted.

"Ah," Adrian said as she placed several books and her purse in her locker.

"Plus I'm trying to figure out how to square away my faith with the fact I like having sex." Adrian suddenly felt a twinge of guilt and it made her feel a little uncomfortable. She closed her locker and placed a hand on her belly.

"Sorry. Can't help you there," she said apologetically. Jack chuckled.

"I know. This is just something I've gotta figure out for myself." Jack looked up and saw Ben headed their way. "See you around, Adrian," he said with a slight nod before walking away. She smiled when her eyes fell on Ben.

"Hey, Benny," she said cheerfully as he approached. Ben arched an eyebrow when he noticed her mismatched shoes and then smiled in return.

"Hey yourself." He glanced down at her shoes as he asked his next question. "Are you tryna start a new fashion trend?" Adrian looked at him with confusion.

"What do you mean?" Ben looked back up at her.

"You're wearing two different colored shoes."

"What!?" Adrian did her best to look past her belly and see her toes. She had to strain a little but she was finally able to see that she had in fact put on one black and one blue slip-on style shoes. As she suddenly realized her mistake, she felt an overwhelming wave of embarrassment and it was quickly followed by tears, which alarmed Ben. He pulled her into a hug.

"Don't cry, Adrian. It's not a big deal," he tried to reassure her. Adrian pushed him away.

"Yes it is!" she shot back, furiously wiping at her wet cheeks. "I'm wearing two different colored shoes because I'm too fat to see my feet anymore," she wailed as fresh tears began pouring down her cheeks. Ben pulled her back in for another hug and she cried into his shirt. He felt two small wet spots growing on his chest but he didn't have the heart to pull Adrian away from him. In another hallway several feet from Lauren's locker, Ricky spotted Lauren talking to a sad looking Jesse.

"But you've come to all my games so far," Ricky heard Jesse say sadly.

"I know, Jesse. But this time I can't make it. While I had fun at the dance, when they rescheduled your guys' game no one bothered to ask if the new schedule conflicted with any of the player's girlfriends' schedules," she told him with a small smile, attempting to soothe his disappointment. "I've got my ballet recital that night at that time so I can't make it." She moved closer and kissed him. "I'm sorry." Jesse sighed.

"I know it got changed last minute and all. I just like knowing I've got my own personal cheerleader in the stands," he replied, giving her a small smirk. Lauren smiled back and kissed his cheek.

"I'll be cheering for you in spirit," she promised.

"And I'll be cheering for you in spirit," he promised back. "See you at lunch?" Lauren nodded and then Jesse walked away. Ricky jogged up to her right away.

"Hey, Lauren." She turned to see who had called her name. "Did Amy text you?" Lauren nodded.

"Yeah. Madison and I've got it covered, but we were wondering if you could drop her assignments off though. Madison and I've got things to do after school and we won't get done 'til late. We were gonna run it by you at lunch if we didn't see you before then."

"Yeah, no problem. I'm taking Ashley home after school anyway." The five minute bell rang.

"'Kay. We'll meet you at the band room after school and give you her assignments."

"Sounds good." And with that they went their separate ways.

The morning passed by quickly and soon lunch rolled around. Ricky eagerly walked out of his last class and speed dialed Amy as he headed to his locker.

"Hi 'ya, handsome," she said cheerfully but tiredly.

"Hey, gorgeous. How you guys doing?" he asked worriedly.

"Okay. John's tired out so he's been napping on and off but the runs make it hard for him to stay asleep for long."

"And how are you holding up?" he asked as he spun the dial on his locker and opened it.

"Okay. I could just use a nap," she admitted. "How are you doing?" Ricky chuckled as he grabbed his lunch and shut his locker.

"Just worrying about you two," he said with a soft smile as he headed outside to find the gang. "You need anything?"

"No. We're good."

"Okay. Call if you need anything, and I mean **anything**, okay? Oh, and Lauren and Madison said they could get your assignments but I'll be dropping them off when I drop off Ashley 'cuz they've both got things to do after school 'til late."

"Okay. I'll see you after school then."

"Okay. I love you." Amy smiled.

"I love you too." Ricky ended the call and noticed Ben quickly approaching him.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" Ben asked nervously. Ricky could tell something was seriously weighing on Ben so he nodded. Ricky followed Ben outside to the courtyard and they had a seat on one of the benches. Ben put his head in his hands, rested his elbows on his knees and sighed.

"I don't know how much more of this I can take! The guilt is gonna eat me alive!" he groaned. Ricky empathized with Ben. He and guilt were still **very** much acquainted and he knew all about the guilt a guy could feel towards the mother of his child. Ricky put his right hand on Ben's shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"I'm not sure what you want me to say here, Ben."

"Just tell me how to deal with it!" he pleaded, lifting his head to look at Ricky. "I thought it'd be easier on Adrian if we were married and living together but my dad said no so that's out." He ran a hand through his hair with frustration and then his voice began to waver as he continued. "And this morning I made her cry just by pointing out she'd put on two different colored shoes. I'm **still** making a mess of things it seems." Ricky chuckled and Ben glared at him. "What's so funny!?" he demanded.

"Nothing," Ricky said, a smirk still on his face. "At least she didn't try to bite your head off."

"Huh?" Ben asked with confusion.

"One morning at school a little after John was born I asked Amy why she was wearing bedroom slippers to school and she nearly bit my head off." Suddenly Ben was glad Adrian had had the opposite reaction, but only for a moment.

"Okay, but I still made her cry and I didn't mean to," he said woefully.

"You didn't do it on purpose, right?" Ben shook his head.

"No. So I just held her until she stopped crying."

"Been there, done that."

"Okay, but we were at school and I didn't want her to go to her first class upset so I just told her not to cry and it wasn't a big deal. I just don't know if it really helped or not."

"Like I said, been there, done that. When Amy was pregnant I told her I didn't know how I was gonna go through with an adoption, holding and seeing my son then just handing him off to strangers and she started to cry. I told her I didn't mean to make her cry and gave her a hug. I just hugged her 'til she stopped crying." Ben sighed.

"This is hard." Ricky laughed and opened his lunch bag, realizing if he planned to eat lunch today he had better get started.

"It's not **supposed** to be easy. There's a **reason** people keep trying to tell teens you should be outta college and married before you bring a kid into this world. Being a parent's a huge responsibility and a lotta hard work," he replied, taking a bite of his ham and cheese sandwich." Ben glanced at Ricky before opening his own lunch bag and pulling out a small sub sandwich.

"I don't know how I'm gonna handle the next month and a half. I'd ask my dad for advice but he and my mom were in love and married before they had me so he's not exactly qualified to give me advice about all this," Ben said before taking a healthy bite of his sandwich.

"He's still your dad and he loves you. He may not have become a dad as a teenager but he is a dad and he's had experience worrying about the mother of his kid," Ricky told him with a shrug. "Seems to me any advice he would give you would still be good advice." He took another bite of his sandwich and then reached in his bag to open his fruit cup.

"I'd still rather talk to you about it," Ben admitted as he took another bite of his sub. They both chewed in silence for a moment and then Ricky spoke again.

"Look, Ben. If any two guys had a reason to not be friends, it would be us, given our past with Amy and our current situations." Ben nodded glumly. "But there also aren't a lot of people we know who can understand what it's like to become a parent in high school so if anything I'd say that's a stronger reason we should **try** to be friends." Ben looked up at Ricky hopefully and Ricky smirked. "I'm not saying we're gonna be best friends overnight but I don't think we need to walk on eggshells around each other all the time either."

"I like the sound of that," Ben said gratefully.

"Although we're probably gonna need a few ground rules," he said, spearing some of the fruit in his cup with a plastic fork and then eating it.

"What kinda rules?" Ben asked warily.

"Let's do a quick recap here, Ben. I'm dating your ex-girlfriend and you're having a baby with mine. I know things about Adrian you might not know yet but I'm not comfortable telling you those things so please don't ask me for advice on how to deal with her mood swings or personality; you'll have to figure that out on your own. I'm willing to give you advice on how to approach her about something, but that's as far as I'm comfortable going. Deal?" Ben nodded.

"And I'm willing to do the same for you."

"I also don't wanna know any specific details about your and Adrian's relationship."

"Like what?" Ben asked, taking several carrot slices out of a Ziploc bag and eating them.

"Ben, what happens between you and Adrian should stay between you and Adrian, just like I did my best to keep what happened between me and Amy just between the two of us. You two will have **plenty** of talks about your kid and what you guys work out is nobody else's business unless you wanna make it their business. I won't ask and please don't tell me."

"But you just told me how you accidentally made Amy cry," Ben reminded him. Ricky nodded.

"Yeah. That particular conversation wasn't exactly private and you already know I didn't want John adopted back then."

"Right." Ben sighed. "It's gonna be a long month and a half."

"One day at a time." Ben nodded in agreement. The lunch bell rang and the boys made their way inside to head to their respective lockers. Grant and Grace were headed towards his locker discussing their weekend plans.

"So do you need a ride tomorrow?" he asked as they reached his locker. Grace shook her head.

"No thanks. After the test I've got some errands to run for my mom so I'm taking my dad's car." She leaned her back against the locker next to Grant's. "I can't believe it's time for the PSATs already! I know I'm ready but I feel like I could use an extra week just to study some more." Grant chuckled.

"We've been studying for this test since the end of August, Grace. We're ready." He shut his locker and smiled at her. "Besides. It's only the PSATs. We've still got another year to prep for the real thing," he reminded her. Grace laughed as they headed to her locker.

"I know I'm psyching myself out but the better I do on the test tomorrow the less I'll have to work on for the SAT." In another hallway at Ashley's locker Griffin was waiting for Ashley to grab her books for their afternoon classes.

"So what time's your drive?"

"9:00," she answered, grabbing her books and shutting her locker. She began walking down the hallway slowly, Griffin right beside her.

"Mine's not 'til 10:00 and why are we walking so slow, Ash?" She smiled sweetly.

"Oh, just because." Griffin noticed they were approaching the counselor's office and he smiled.

"Ah. Waiting to bump into boyfriend Toby again I see."

"Maybe," she said with a smile. And sure enough, just as they reached the counselor's office Toby came out. He smiled when he spotted Ashley.

"Hi, Ashley. Griffin," he said pleasantly. "And how are you both this fine Friday afternoon?" Griffin chuckled. _I like this guy. He's perfect for Ashley._

"Good. So how'd the meeting go?" she asked.

"Good for another week," he said with mock pride, causing Ashley to smirk. "So," he said pointedly to Griffin. "Did I pass the best friend inspection at the Halloween dance?" Griffin nodded and Toby looked back at Ashley. "Do you think I'm ready to meet the 'rents then?" Ashley arched an eyebrow and gave Toby a blank expression so he couldn't guess what she was thinking.

"Give me another week to feel 'em out and I'll let you know." Toby smiled.

'Deal. Same time next Friday?" Ashley laughed and nodded. Toby saluted them and headed down the hallway.

"I like him. He's good people," Griffin said as they headed towards their next class.

"What's that mean?"

"It means I think he compliments your personality perfectly. Plus, for a homeschooled kid we don't know, he seems pretty grounded, with a sense of humor to boot," he told her while wiggling his eyebrows. Ashley chuckled and shook her head at her friend's antics. The warning bell sounded and everyone scurried to their next class.

As Adrian sat in her physics class, she had a hard time paying attention. Instead she was still feeling a little down about how much her body was changing. _I used to be sexy _she thought sadly as she doodled on her notebook, occasionally looking up so her teacher would think she was just taking notes. _Now I look like a small whale and nobody looks at me twice. Even Ben avoided me at lunch today after my mini meltdown this morning_. She heard a ruffling of pages and glanced around. Realizing her classmates were turning their textbook pages Adrian focused in on her teacher's words for a moment so she wouldn't look so lost if she got called on. _Maybe I'll ask Ben to come over and hang out with me tomorrow_. She smiled a little as she remembered how enjoyable it was to just hang out and watch movies with him. When the bell rang she determinedly made her way to Ben's locker, smiling when she spotted him.

"Hi, Benny," she greeted him cheerfully, looking forward to an afternoon with him. "I wanna ask you something."

"Yeah," he said, closing his locker to face her.

"Wanna come over tomorrow after work and hang out for a bit? We could watch a bunch of non-scary movies this time." Ben smiled at her suggestion but then his smile slipped slightly.

"It would have to be tomorrow night actually." Adrian's spirits dipped a little.

"Why's that?"

"After work I've got the PSATs and then my dad and I have a father-son thing scheduled," he told her apologetically. Her smile fell.

"Oh," she said dejectedly.

"But I'd be happy to come over and join you for dinner. How's that sound?' he suggested. Adrian perked back up a little. _At least I'll get to hang out with him for a little bit._

"I'd like that." Ben gave her a smile.

"I'll see you tomorrow then." Adrian nodded and then Ben headed off to his next class. Adrian made her way to her next class a little letdown. _I guess everyone else's life doesn't stop just because I need to be cheered up._

Back at the Juergens residence, Amy had just finished changing John's diaper, happy to see his bowels were becoming less runny, and pungent. She placed her freshly diapered toddler on the floor of his bedroom and cleaned up the changing table, keeping an eye on him with her peripheral vision to make sure he didn't walk out of the nursery without her. Once her task was finished, she picked John back up and headed towards the bookshelf in the nursery to select a story to read to him.

"Okay, John. Story time," she informed him as she sat in the rocking chair with him. She gently rocked as she read the story and by the end of it John was yawning. Amy placed the book beside her and scooped John up to carry him to his crib. She laid him down and covered him with his blanket, tucking his bear beside him. She put the book back on the shelf and grabbed the baby monitor before quietly heading out of the room. Since John had mastered doorknobs, Amy set up the baby gate just in front of the door and made sure it was snuggly against the frame so John couldn't wander around the house if he climbed out of his crib again. With John down for his nap, Amy had time to finish up the breakfast and lunch dishes, which were still soaking in the sink from earlier as Amy had been preoccupied cuddling and changing her toddler and attempting to nap when he did. Her task complete, she let Moose out into the backyard to relieve himself and then refilled his food and water dishes before heading to her room, baby monitor in tow, to take her first real nap of the day.

By the time Ricky and Ashley came home from school, John was wide awake and back to his usual happy self.

"Aunty! Daddy!" he squealed when he saw Ashley and Ricky come in the back door. He was buckled into his high chair and 'coloring' while Amy was busy baking brownies. The smell assaulted Ashley and Ricky's noses as they walked in. Ashley dropped her backpack by the kitchen table and then went over to John to kiss his cheeks repeatedly, causing his to giggle. Ricky headed to Amy to greet her with a kiss too.

"Hey, gorgeous." She kissed him back.

"Hey, handsome." Ricky headed over to kiss John while Ashley took a brownie off the platter Amy had set on the counter.

"Hey buddy," Ricky said to John with a smile. "How you doing?"

"Good," John replied, causing Ricky to chuckle. He turned towards the counter and opened his backpack, taking out several papers. "Here's your homework, Amy."

"Thanks. Want a brownie before you go?" she asked, holding the platter out to him. He looked at it warily and Ashley laughed while Amy looked at him with irritation. "I know I suck at cooking but baking's different." Ricky arched an eyebrow at her skeptically and John, spotting the platter, reached out for one, opening and closing his hands as he did so.

"Bwownie peas!" Amy walked around Ricky and handed John a brownie. John took it from her hands before she could set it on his try and attempted to shove the entire thing in his mouth in one bite, with the result that it crumbled in his hands and only a small portion actually went in his mouth on the first go. He smiled happily nonetheless, his face smeared with brownie. "Tank you!" Everyone laughed at his joy and Ricky took a brownie from the platter. His eyes glazed over with happiness the moment the first bite hit his tongue.

"Wow! You weren't kidding," he said with surprise. Amy gave him a triumphant smile and set the platter back on the counter to finish washing up the remaining dirty dishes. Ricky quickly ate the rest of his brownie and then kissed her cheek. "Sorry I doubted you."

"I forgive you," she said with a small smile, plunging her hands into the sink of soapy water.

"I'll call you later," he promised heading out the door to go to work.

"So how was your sick day," Ashley asked as Ricky shut the door behind him and she took a seat at the table to begin her homework.

"Tiring," she stated, placing several soaped dishes in the second sink to rinse them. "But thankfully by naptime John was doing much better so we both got some sleep. How was school?" Ashley chuckled.

"Good. I think I ran into my future boyfriend." Amy gasped and spun around to face Ashley excitedly, sloshing water on the floor in the process.

"Spill." Ashley laughed at her sister's excitement and told her about Toby.

"So back in September this guy bumped into me pretty hard. I didn't run into him again so a couple weeks before Halloween I paid Joe to find out who he is." Ashley pushed her hair back and then continued. "Turns out our school has a home school program where home school kids come to the school once a week to go over their work with the teachers and Toby stops by every Friday. I 'accidentally' bumped into him again and we talked for a bit and he said he'd be at the Halloween dance."

"Since this is the first I'm hearing about him I take it you're hiding him from dad?" Amy asked cheekily. Ashley shrugged.

"Not exactly. Griffin wanted to check him out first so the three of us mainly just hung out at the dance while Griffin gave him the third degree, then Toby and I danced for a bit. I figure I'll bring up Toby this weekend and work on dad next week. If all goes according to plan, Toby wants to come over and meet mom and dad." Amy chuckled.

"Wait, he **wants** to meet your parents?" Ashley nodded with a smirk.

"I know. Weird right? But Toby says he'd like to hang out with me, possibly date me down the road but he's not comfortable doing that if the 'rents don't know who he is."

"The 'rents?"

"His word, not mine." The sisters shared a laugh and then John made his presence known again.

"Mommy. I wet." Amy dried her hands and unbuckled John from his highchair. She picked him up and noticed that his backside was in deed warm.

"It might be time to start potty training you sweetie," she informed him as she headed towards the stairs.

"Potty?" he asked curiously.

"Yep, potty. Right after we find you a big boy bed," she said as she reached the bottom of the stairs.

"Big boy!" John said happily, raising his arms to emphasis his point. Amy smiled and tickled his tummy.

"That's right, John. You're mommy's big boy." She kissed his forehead as she climbed the stairs. "Man how time flies," she said, the realization leaving her with a bittersweet feeling.


	16. Dress Up

To Ricky it seemed like an ordinary day as he headed outside to the courtyard to find Amy. He spotted her at a table in the shade chatting with Madison and Lauren. Jesse and Justin were seated as well and chatting to each other. Ricky took the open spot across from Amy and opened his lunch bag, nodding a greeting to the other people at the table.

"Oh come on!" Madison whined. "Ricky!" Ricky looked up with surprise at Madison's tone, his sandwich halfway to his mouth.

"Huh?" he asked with confusion.

"Tell Amy you'll take her to the homecoming dance," she instructed him. Ricky turned confused eyes to Amy and she rolled her eyes.

"You don't have to if you don't want to," she assured him. Madison's gaze was fixed on Ricky.

"Ignore her. Amy needs to go. And if Amy needed something you'd help her out right?" Madison asked sweetly. Ricky turned to the two guys to his left.

"Someone wanna fill me in here?" Jesse came to his rescue.

"It seems Madison feels that because the three of them have boyfriends at the same time that they need to go to homecoming this year." Madison narrowed her eyes at Jesse.

"There's more to it that that!" she said in an attempt to defend herself.

"Oh?" Ricky said. Madison gave him an annoyed expression while Lauren and Amy shook their heads but remained silent. Glancing at her two best friends and realizing they weren't going to help her, Madison explained.

"When a girl goes to homecoming or prom alone she looks like a loser so Lauren and I didn't go the last two years."

"Hey!" Lauren said, slightly offended that Madison had called her a loser, out loud. Madison waved off her protest.

"Amy didn't wanna go our freshman year because she was pregnant at the time and she didn't go last year because she didn't have a boyfriend at the time. But this year we all have boyfriends and it's **normal** to go to homecoming. We're working on keeping our lives as drama free as possible and what better way to do that than to do something that's perfectly normal like getting all dolled up and going to the homecoming dance? We've never been to an official couples type school dance." Jesse's brows furrowed in curiosity.

"What about the Halloween dance?" Madison shook her head.

"You're not expected to come with a date to a Halloween dance," Madison explained. Ricky suddenly felt bad for Amy. She hadn't been able to start high school like every other normal teenager because she'd been pregnant and because of him she'd never been able to attend a regular dance, the mother-daughter dance aside. He knew they'd put the past behind them officially but that didn't stop it from occasionally coming back to bite him.

"Amy?" Ricky said, causing her to look at him. "Will you go to the homecoming dance with me?" She smiled and nodded.

"I'd love to." The other guys followed suit.

"Lauren?" Jesse asked. Lauren smiled.

"Yes?"

"Will you go to the homecoming dance with me?"

"Yes."

"Madison?" Justin asked.

"Yes?" she said expectantly. He got a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

"Are you doing anything tonight?" Madison scoffed and crossed her arms with a pout. Everyone tried not to laugh as Justin went around the table and gave Madison a kiss. "And will you go to the homecoming dance with me?" he asked her with a smile. Madison sighed and smiled.

"Yes."

Across the courtyard Grace was telling Adrian and Alice about the homecoming dress she had picked out, Grant having asked her to go with him weeks ago.

"It's a pale light blue with a fitted waist that flares out as it goes down," she said excitedly. "You've gotta come over and see it, Adrian!" Adrian pouted, deflating Grace's bubble somewhat. "What's wrong?"

"I'd rather not talk about homecoming since I can't go," Adrian said grumpily, moving her pasta salad around but not eating any of it.

"Why not? There's still time to tailor a dress if you can't find one that fits just right," Grace offered helpfully. Adrian glared at her.

"They don't really make flattering homecoming dresses for pregnant teenagers, Grace. Besides, being on my feet for too long makes them swell up and sitting in a hard plastic chair for too long will make me uncomfortable." Alice, Henry, Ben and Grant all suddenly became very interested in their lunches and remained quiet, not wanting to say anything to further annoy Adrian. In another part of the courtyard Griffin was talking animatedly about the tux he'd picked out.

"So it's powder blue with a black cummerbund and I found this quirky silver tie in my dad's closet he said I could borrow. I'm gonna look rather fetching if I do say so myself." Ashley snorted into her can of soda.

"Who on earth says 'fetching'?"

"I do," he answered matter-of-factly as he took a bite of his pizza. "So have you picked out a dress yet?" he asked, speaking around the food in his mouth.

"Not yet. Nothing seems to jump out at me as the right kinda dress."

"The theme is a moonlit wonderland. You could pick out all kinds of dresses that either match it or make fun of it."

"Make fun of it?" she asked curiously causing Griffin to smile.

"Wonderland. As in Alice and Wonderland. You could go extremely quirky for the heck of it or pick a dress that goes along with moonlight and nighttime: white, silver, midnight blue, black. You've only got another week to find the right dress so I say we go shopping this weekend. What do you say?" he asked, taking another bite of pizza. Ashley rolled her head from side to side as she thought about it.

"Oh alright." As Ashley and Griffin continued their lunches, Ricky, Jesse and Justin headed to the homecoming ticket booth to buy tickets for the dance.

"So do we wanna carpool or anything?" Justin asked as they got in line. "I can borrow my mom's van if we wanna save on gas," he offered.

"Do you think the girls will wanna go out to dinner before the dance?" Jesse asked, as the line slowly inched forward.

"Don't know," Ricky replied. "We should check with them first and go from there." Jesse and Justin nodded and then they waited patiently to reach the front of the line. Back at the table the girls were chatting.

"So there's this awesome sorta mega thrift store complex I found downtown and the dresses are sooo cute!" Madison informed her best friends. "And most of 'em are under forty bucks!" Lauren's brows lifted in surprise.

"That's a good deal for a homecoming dress." Madison and Amy nodded in agreement.

"So are we gonna get ready together or what?" Madison asked before she took a bite of her chicken sandwich.

"We can. We just gotta tell the guys whose house to come to to pick us up," Amy replied, taking a bite of her pizza.

"Let's do it at my house since it's closer to the school," Madison offered.

"Okay. What about dinner?" Lauren asked.

"We were just about to ask you ladies about that," Jesse said from behind Lauren and Amy before the guys all took their seats again.

"Did you girls wanna go out to dinner?" Justin asked looking around the table. The girls each looked at their boyfriends.

"I don't mind," Ricky told Amy. "We just need to know so we can make reservations. Do you want to?" Amy bit her lip nervously and Ricky chuckled. "That's a yes." He turned to the others at the table. "Ladies?" Lauren and Madison nodded.

"Any preferences?" Jesse asked, pulling out his smart phone to make the reservation.

"I think the closest restaurant to the school is an Olive Garden," Madison said. "Or maybe it's an Applebee's." Jesse quickly pulled up the school on a map and looked at nearby restaurants.

"It's the Olive Garden," he informed the table before looking up. "What time should we make the reservation for?"

"Since the dance is at 8:00 I say make the reservation for like 6:00?" Justin offered. "That way we know we won't have to rush to finish eating." Everyone nodded their agreement and Jesse made a reservation for their little group online. When the bell rang the little group followed the wave of students heading back inside for their afternoon classes. Ben and Henry joined a throng of students heading towards the second floor.

"So are you gonna go stag since Adrian's not going?" Henry asked Ben. Ben shook his head and Henry gawked at him.

"Come on, Ben! It's our junior year! We're one year closer to the finish line and it's okay to have a little fun every now and then. Besides, I'm sure Alice would dance with you for a bit if you asked so you wouldn't be a stag for the **whole** dance," Henry said, trying to persuade his best friend to go. Ben shook his head.

"I would feel weird, and guilty, going to a dance and having a good time knowing Adrian's stuck at home **not** having a good time."

"You heard Grace. Adrian could go if she wanted to."

"I'm sitting this one out, Henry," Ben said with a sigh. "I'd feel too guilty." While Ben and Henry walked into their classroom, Ricky and Adrian were settling down in their seats for their English class. Adrian's desk was right next to the door and Ricky's was halfway down the row next to her. He looked at her as he pulled out his notebook and turned his textbook to the right chapter they were currently reading and his thoughts drifted back to Amy's pregnancy. _She missed out on so much because of me. I've never really been into dances all that much since I'm not the best dancer but Amy didn't even really have the __**option**__ of going the last two years because of me._ He vowed then and there to make sure it was a night to remember. In a good way.

The school day ended, Ricky's workday ended and he dashed upstairs to shower and change so he could head over to his parents' house. Margaret looked up in surprise when Ricky came in through the back door but smiled when she saw him.

"Hi, sweetheart. What a nice surprise," she said as she gave him a tight hug, which he returned.

"Hey, mom. I needed to ask to you about something."

"Is something wrong?" she asked with concern as they took a seat at the kitchen table. Ricky took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"I asked Amy to the homecoming dance."

"Okay…"

"She's never been to one because, well, you know." Margaret nodded in understanding. "And I wanna make it a special night for her but I went stag the last two times and I didn't go at all last year." Margaret chuckled, sensing where this conversation as headed.

"Ricky, you and Amy have been dating for what, two and a half months now?" Ricky nodded. "You already know how to have an enjoyable date with her so what's the real issue here, sweetheart?"

"I may not get it but I know that homecoming and prom are big deals to a girl. Is there anything special I need to know to do this right?" Margaret smiled at him. _He really has grown up so much._

"Okay. First you'll need to know what color her dress is and then buy her a corsage to match," she informed him.

"She hasn't bought it yet and what's a corsage?"

"It's a small decorative flower arrangement she'll wear on her wrist. You put it on her when you pick her up to take her to the dance," Margaret explained.

"Should I put it on her before or after we eat dinner?"

"Before."

"Okay. Is that it?" Margaret nodded with a small smile.

"Basically, yes. You pick her up, give her a corsage, let her mom take a ton of pictures of you two, take her to dinner, take her to the dance, take a picture with her, dance with her, enjoy yourselves, then bring her back home."

"Wait, I thought you said her mom was gonna take pictures before the dance."

"She is. But there's usually a photographer at the dance that will take pictures of couples too and most girls like to get one taken. But Amy might not." Ricky quickly processed everything his mother had just told him.

"Okay, Thanks mom," he rose from his chair and kissed her cheek.

"Anytime, sweetheart. That's what mothers are for." Her words made Ricky cringe internally as he was suddenly reminded that he still had yet to patch things up with his birth mother. He sat back down with a sigh. "What is it, Ricky."

"I know you know so I'm just gonna ask: do you know how Nora's been doing?" Margaret nodded.

"She's taking life one day at a time."

"So she's still clean and sober?" Margaret nodded but gave him a quizzical expression.

"Yes. You see her at work, Ricky, so you already know that." He sighed.

"We're only coworkers right now. We haven't really sat down and talked things out."

"Do you plan to?" she gently pressed.

"At some point," he admitted. Margaret reached over and squeezed his hand comfortingly.

"One day at a time," she reminded him with a smile.

Several days later found Amy, Lauren, Madison, Ashley and Griffin dress shopping together. Madison buzzed around like an excited little bee quickly browsing through racks and plucking dresses to try on. She headed towards a dressing room with her arms filled with dresses. The other girls looked through the racks more slowly. Griffin saw a dress he thought matched Ashley perfectly and brought it over to her. Once she'd taken the dress from him he spun her around and pushed her towards a dressing room while she laughed.

"Alright, alright. I'm going." She shut the small door and began to change. Meanwhile two dressing rooms down from her there was a constant ruffle of material.

"You okay in there, Madison?" Amy called out worriedly.

"Uh huh," came her reply. Amy browsed for another ten minutes and came across two dresses she thought she might look good in. "Found it!" Madison called out, emerging dramatically from her dressing room wearing a pale rose colored dress. It had spaghetti straps and a fitted waist that came with a small jacket that stopped just above her waistline. The skirt was ruffled and went down to just past her knees. Madison twirled around and Griffin clapped. She did a little bow to show her appreciation and Lauren and Amy giggled.

"It's great, Madison," Lauren told her honestly, three dresses draped over her arm that she wanted to try on. Griffin turned his head towards Ashley's dressing room and called out.

"Ok, Ash. Your turn." Ashley came out with a sheepish smile on her face and Griffin clapped once again while Amy smiled at her. The dress was perfect. It was dark red with short sleeves and the skirt swished just enough to create a little poof when Ashley spun around to give everyone the 360 degree view. The dress also had a silver swirl design embroidered into it that ran from the bust line down the right side of the dress to the hem of the skirt.

"You look great, Ash," Amy told with a smile.

"I feel so girly in it though." Griffin laughed.

"That's not such a bad thing you know," he told her as he slung an arm over her shoulder. "You look great. Toby'll have no **choice** but to officially ask you to be his girlfriend once he sees you in this." Ashley poked his side. As Amy and Madison giggled at the two friends' interaction, Lauren emerged wearing a dark green, slightly shimmery dress. Amy and Madison gasped and smiled at her.

"It's perfect, Lauren!" Amy beamed. The dress also had spaghetti straps and the material of the skirt was bunched in such a way that it looked like it was rippling from the waist of the dress like waves, stopping mid-calf. Lauren did a little twirl and everyone saw that the straps crisscrossed in the back. Madison eagerly turned to Amy. "Your turn," she said in a singsong voice. Amy chuckled and headed to the dressing room while the girls did likewise to change back into their clothes. Amy tried on the first one and turned in front of the mirror, liking the way the dress fit her but not really in love with it so she took it off. However, once she put on the second dress and looked at her reflection in the mirror, she knew this was the one and smiled.

"Ok, Amy. We're waiting," Griffin called out. Amy emerged and Madison squealed with delight.

"We're gonna be the best dressed girls at the dance," she declared, high fiving Lauren. Amy did a little twirl so her friends could check out the dress. It was a sleeveless, navy-blue dress that hugged her torso like a second skin. It had silver swirls embroidered into the sides much like Ashley's with the top of the swirls beginning just above her breasts and coming down around them at an angle, almost forming a heart shape before flaring back out towards her hips and continuing down to the hem of the skirt, which stopped just above her knees. The zipper stopped just above the middle of her back and the material flared up in a v shape to the top of the dress.

"Ricky won't be able to keep his hands off you," Lauren told her with a smile and a wink.

"Lauren!" Amy exclaimed, blushing slightly.

"Ok get changed, then it's off to shoes!" Madison declared. As the shopping trip continued, Ricky was at his apartment with John when his phone rang. He saw that it was Jesse and put it on speaker so he could keep playing with John.

"What's up, Jesse?"

"You heard from the girls yet?"

"No. About what?"

"If they got their dresses or not. I was hoping to get Lauren's corsage today but I can't seem to reach her. Her phone keeps ringing then going to voicemail so I guess it's on silent or something."

"No, I haven't heard yet. I can try and call Amy though."

"Thanks, Ricky. Can you try and find out what color Lauren's dress is if you can?"

"Sure."

"Thanks. Bye." Jesse ended the call and Ricky speed dialed Amy.

"Let's see what mommy's up to," he said to John as he waited for Amy to pick up.

"Hey, you," she said when she answered. Ricky smiled at the sound of her voice.

"Hey. So I got a question for you."

"Yeah?"

"What color is your dress for the dance?"

"Navy-blue," she replied.

"Do you know what color Lauren's is?"

"Dark green. Why?"

"Can you keep a secret?" Amy chuckled.

"Yes."

"Justin wanted to buy her corsage today but he couldn't get ahold of her to ask her what color her dress is."

"Hang on." Ricky heard her tell Lauren Jesse had been trying to call her so she should check her phone. "Was that it?" Ricky heard Madison tell Amy to talk to lover boy later because they were supposed to be in shop mode. Amy laughed and Ricky laughed with her. "Did you hear that?"

"Yeah," he said with a chuckle. "I'll let you get back to your girls' day out. Wanna say hi to John real quick?"

"Sure." Ricky held the phone to John's ear.

"Say hi to mommy, John."

"Hi mommy!" Amy smiled at the sound of his voice.

"Hi, sweetie. I love you."

"I wuv you mommy." John went back to playing with his toys so Ricky moved the phone away from his ear.

"I love you too," he said to her.

"And I love you. Bye."

"Bye." They ended the call and continued their afternoon activities.

When Amy and Ashley arrived back home they found their mom in the living room folding laundry while Robbie played on the floor nearby.

"Hey girls." She noticed their bags and smiled. She placed the towel she'd just finished folding in the laundry basket next to her and then turned towards the girls. "So. Go put 'em on and let me see," she said excitedly. Amy and Ashley exchanged smiles and then headed to their rooms to change. Anne continued folding laundry while she waited for the girls to reemerge. Ashley came back into the living room first and Anne gasped, tearing up slightly. "Oh, Ashley, you look beautiful," Anne told her. Ashley spun around so her mom could see the back. "Doesn't Ashley look pretty, Robbie?" Anne asked. Robbie looked up at Ashley and parroted his mother.

"Pity," he said with a smile. Amy came in several moments later and Anne had the same reaction. She then looked back and forth between them.

"Oh look at my beautiful girls. Your dates will be speechless," she assured them with a smile. They grinned back at her and each swished around in their dress for a moment. They heard the front door unlock and George walked in. He didn't notice the girls right away since he was hanging his coat up on the coat rack but as soon as the living room and his daughters came into view he stopped and just stared at them while they smiled at him.

"So what do you think, dad?" Amy asked, doing a little twirl to show him the back of her dress and then Ashley did likewise.

"You both look beautiful." There was a split second of silence. "And I don't want either of you leaving the house in those things." The girls' mouths fell open and Anne scoffed at him.

"What!?" the girls said in unison.

"George," Anne scolded.

"Pity!" Robbie chimed in, walking over his father and tugging on his pant leg. George looked down and Robbie pointed behind him at his sisters. "Pity daddy." George picked him up.

"I know they look pretty, Robbie." He looked back at his confused and irritated daughters. "In fact they look too grown up in those dresses to ever wear them in public," he informed the room.

"Dad, you knew we weren't gonna stay little girls forever," Ashley said as she rolled her eyes.

"And what's wrong with looking grown up every once in a while?" Amy asked. Anne looked at her daughters.

"Girls, go get changed while I speak to your father." The girls headed to their respective rooms and Anne took Robbie from George's arms and placed him in his playpen with several toys. She then turned back to face her husband.

"What?" he said with annoyance. "You saw them. Boys will be all over them at that dance!" Anne smirked. "This is no laughing matter, Anne." He headed to the couch and plopped down. Anne joined him but lowered herself much more gracefully, moving the laundry basket to the coffee table.

"George, you're forgetting that the girls have actual dates so there'd only be one guy all over each of them," she said with a small smile, causing George to glare at her out of frustration. "Plus, you've known Ricky for almost two years now and we've met Toby, who Griffin volunteered to vouch for by the way." George leaned his head back against the couch and nodded. "We knew they wouldn't stay little girls forever. After all, our seventeen year old has a toddler and both girls are currently on the pill. Not things little girls do." George suddenly became alarmed and Anne placed a reassuring hand on his arm. "They're responsible, George. They're not gonna get themselves knocked up, or knocked up again, just because they're going to a school dance."

"But, Anne," he said woefully, his voice thick with unshed tears. "It's like I left this morning and said goodbye to my little girls and when I came home tonight they were all grown up. Where'd the time go!?" Anne leaned over and kissed his cheek.

"They may always be our little girls but they won't always look like it. We've gotta let them grow up sometime, George, and they've been doing just that for the past fifteen and seventeen years. They'll be **fine**. And if they aren't, we'll be here to help them pick up the pieces or straighten them out." George turned sad eyes towards her. "Don't give 'em a hard time about this. We were teenagers too once. Let them enjoy their homecoming dance." George sighed defeated and Anne went back to folding the rest of the laundry. Amy and Ashley were sitting on the steps shamelessly eavesdropping and shared a smile. Man their dad could be such a sap sometimes but it was nice to know he was still protective of them.


	17. The Surprise Princess

**NOTE: Have 'Diary' by Alicia Keys cued on your iTunes or YouTube so you'll understand why Ricky's thinking what he's thinking about at the end of this chapter**

* * *

One week later found Ricky dressed in a suit and looking in the bathroom mirror adjusting his tie one last time. He gave his reflection one more glance before heading to the fridge to retrieve Amy's corsage. As he did so his cellphone buzzed with a new text. He saw that it was from Justin: _I'm here_. Ricky quickly grabbed the corsage, locked the door and headed down to meet Justin. He climbed in the back and took the middle seat next to Jesse. The boys acknowledged each other with head nods and then Justin drove to Madison's house. Madison's step mother opened the door when Justin rang the bell.

"Come on in boys. They'll be down in a minute." Jesse and Ricky followed Justin into the living room and they all had a seat on the couch while Madison's stepmom picked up her camera from the coffee table and leaned against the wall to fiddle with the settings. A couple of minutes later the boys stood up as they heard footsteps coming down the stairs. The girls rounded the corner and the boys' mouths dropped. Their amazement turned to confusion a split second later as there was a flash from the camera, followed by four very amused giggles. "Yep. Definitely stunned and speechless," Madison's step mother said. The girls took several steps closer to their respective boyfriends as the boys were still frozen on the spot, each eyeing their girlfriend up and down. Madison did a little twirl for Justin.

"You like?" she asked with a smile. Justin simply nodded, unable to form a complete sentence. While Justin was busy eyeballing his girlfriend, Jesse kept opening and closing his mouth as though he were trying to say something but no sound was coming out. Lauren giggled at the adorably cute flustered expression on her boyfriend's face.

"I take it that means you like my dress," she stated, glancing down at her dress and then back at Jesse just in time to see him nodding vigorously. Ricky was waging an internal battle. Part of him wanted to call a cab and take Amy back to his apartment to kiss every inch of her exposed skin he could see and the other just wanted to stare at the beautiful young woman in front of him until the day he died. He was looking so intently at Amy that she began to blush and broke eye contact. Ricky reacted without thinking. He walked towards her, took her in his arms and kissed her, knowing she'd have to look at him again once he broke the kiss. And when he pulled back she did just that.

"You're beautiful," he told her sincerely, causing her to smile. Madison's stepmom cleared her throat.

"Okay you love birds. Let me get some good shots of you all so you can make your dinner reservation." The boys quickly placed the corsages they had with them on their girlfriends' wrists and then eagerly stood behind them, wrapping their arms around their girl's waist while the camera clicked several times. Several pictures were then snapped of each couple individually and then a couple of the just the guys and then just the girls. "Alright you guys. Have fun. But not too much fun," she said pointedly, looking at all the teens.

"Mom!" Madison said with embarrassment as the little group headed out the door. Once they reached the minivan, Justin opened the passenger door for Madison while Jesse opened the sliding door. Amy climbed into the back while Lauren took a seat in the middle row by the window. Jesse waited until Ricky had climbed in and then he slid into the seat next to Lauren as he shut the door. Once everyone was buckled in Justin backed out of the driveway and headed to Olive Garden. The ride was silent, Jesse and Ricky focused on staring at their girlfriends while Justin forced himself to stay focused on driving. The girls simply smiled and looked out of their respective windows, pleased they had managed to render their boyfriends speechless.

Once Justin parked at the restaurant everyone filed out. Justin put his arm around Madison's waist as they walked towards the front door while Lauren simply wrapped one of hers around Jesse's. Ricky opted to hold Amy's hand and intertwine their fingers. Justin held the door for everyone once they reached it and Jesse went up to the hostess stand to let them know they had a reservation. They were immediately taken to their table and the boys pulled out the girls' chairs for them like gentlemen, each being rewarded by a thankful smile. Their waiter took their drink orders and the girls began browsing their menus while the boys pretended to. Amy felt Ricky's stare and blushed.

"If you keep looking at me like that I'll be blushing all night," she gently scolded him. Ricky put his right elbow on the table and leaned his head against his right hand.

"I don't mind. I like the view."

"I second that conclusion," Justin said in a mock gallant voice and then smiled at Madison, who simply shifted in her seat and continued looking through her menu, pleased that she'd found such a perfect dress for tonight.

"Me too," Jesse said dreamily staring at Lauren. She glanced up at him and smiled.

"You're so goofy sometimes, but thanks for the compliment." Amy glanced around the table and then back at Ricky before chuckling.

"Come on guys. We gotta decide what we're getting so we're ready when our waiter comes back. The boys picked up their menus and the table was silent as everyone decided what they wanted.

"What are you gonna get?" Ricky asked Amy after a couple of minutes. She pursed her lips.

"I'm not sure. The parmesan crusted chicken looks good. What about you?"

"That actually sounds pretty good," he said, closing his menu and laying it down. Their waiter returned with their drinks and handed them out.

"So are we ready to order?" he asked, taking out his tablet and a pen as he glanced around the table. Everyone nodded.

"And we'll need three separate checks," Justin informed him, pointing at the three couples.

"Alright. Will any of you be taking advantage of our two for $25 special tonight?"

"What comes with that?" Jesse asked. The waiter opened one of the menus to the page that advertised that special and everyone turned their menus to the same page to follow along.

"So you can select two of the listed appetizers and then two entrees or two entrees and a dessert to share. Regardless of which option you choose, your dinner comes with unlimited soup or salad." Ricky looked at Amy.

"You wanna do that with the parmesan chicken?" She nodded. "Dessert or appetizers?"

"We better do appetizers and skip the dessert." He nodded and looked back at the menu.

"What appetizers do you want?"

"I'll try the asparagus." Ricky looked at their waiter.

"We'll take the two for $25 with the asparagus and risotto bite appetizers and the parmesan chicken entrée." They passed their menu down the table towards the waiter while Jesse spoke up next.

"We'll take the deal as well with two orders of the meatballs and then the spaghetti and fettuccine." Lauren handed him her menu and then passed them down the table as well.

"And we'll take the deal with the meatballs and risotto bites and two orders of the parmesan tortellini." Their waiter wrote everything down and then looked back around the table.

"And we'll you all be having the soup or salad?"

"Soup," Madison, Jesse and Ricky said, and then gave their soup orders.

"And salad for the rest?" Amy, Lauren and Justin nodded. "Alright. I'm be back shortly with your soups and salad. Justin looked across the table at Madison and cleared his throat.

"So after the dance tonight can you like frame that thing?" he asked with a cheeky smile. Madison shook her head with a small smile.

"Nope. I plan to get my money's worth outta this dress. I'm sure I'll think of something else to wear it to," she explained with a pleasant tone as she smoothed imaginary wrinkles out of her dress's skirt.

"Oh trust me. You're getting your money's worth," he assured her. He sobered up quickly and gave her a worried look. "Just promise me you won't wear it again unless you're with me?" All the girls looked at him curiously.

"Why not?" Madison asked cautiously. Justin gave her his best puppy dog eyes.

"Because I'm a lover, not a fighter and I'd hate to have to bash some guy's face in because he's checking out my girlfriend." Amy and Lauren giggled into their drinks. Ricky gave Amy a look that asked what was so funny but she chose to ignore it. Madison motioned for Justin to lean forward. When he did she leaned forward and gave him a kiss. He smiled like the cat that ate the canary. "Not that I'm complaining, but what was that for?"

"You just said you'd fight for me," she explained with a smile as she sat back down. Jesse chuckled and looked at Justin.

"Dude, you're making us look bad." Justin shrugged and Ricky laughed as he set down his glass of Sprite. He reached across the table and held out his hand to Amy. She smiled and placed her hand in his. Jesse glanced over at him and gave him a halfhearted glare. "You too?" Ricky glanced sideways at him.

"I don't need to say something cheesy for Amy to know how I feel about her." He then glanced back towards Amy's throat. She knew what he was looking at and clutched her locket with a smile.

"I didn't hear you give Amy a present on the way over here," Justin said from down the table, watching the exchange.

"I didn't," Ricky told him. "I gave it to her a while ago."

"Awww," Madison said, clasping her hands to one side. "That's so sweet."

"So I take it you like jewelry?" Justin asked her with a smile. Madison stuck her tongue out at him.

"Only when it's part of some romantic gesture. Not just because you're trying to apologize for something," she corrected him about his assumption.

"So **that's** why you've been wearing it all the time," Lauren chimed in and then took a sip of her root beer. "I just thought it had been in your jewelry box and you just decided to start wearing it." Amy shook her head and leaned over to show Lauren the back of the locket. She gasped when she read the inscription and smiled at Ricky. Madison got out of her chair and stood between them so she could read it too.

"That's so sweet!" Madison said again. Justin smirked at Jesse.

"Now he's showing us **both** up retroactively." He and Jesse exchanged an amused look and smirked. Their waiter and two others showed up carrying serving stands and holding up trays containing their soup, salad, appetizers and serving plates. Once everything was distributed, everyone settled down to enjoy their food and the table was filled with light banter about school and upcoming Thanksgiving plans. They had just finished their appetizers when their entrées arrived. Again the table was mostly quiet with only occasional banter as everyone enjoyed their meals. They were all was just about finished, and not a moment too soon, Justin noticed as he glanced at his watch. He spotted their waiter and signaled for the checks.

"Wow that was delicious," Madison said appreciatively before wiping her mouth on her napkin.

"I agree," Amy concurred. "If I eat anymore I might just pop outta this dress." Ricky's face split into a Cheshire cat sized grin and Amy blushed when she saw it. "Behave," she told him warningly, although the blush took all the power out of her words.

"You said it," he shot back teasingly as he downed the rest of the soda in his glass. The waiter returned with their checks and everyone fished out their wallets.

"What are you doin'?" Jesse asked Lauren when he saw her pull out her wallet.

"Paying for my half," she explained reaching for their check. Jesse quickly snatched it out of her reach with a small smile and shook his head. Ricky and Justin quickly pulled their respective checks out of their girlfriends' reaches as well.

"Ricky," Amy began. "We all agreed to go out for dinner so we all came prepared to pay." She held her hand out for the check and Ricky just smiled.

"Sorry, angel. Tonight you're getting pampered." Amy rolled her eyes while next to her Lauren wasn't having any better luck trying to get Jesse to let her look at the bill.

"You pamper me plenty," Amy informed him, continuing to hold out her hand. Ricky simply slipped his debit card inside and waited for their waiter to return. "Ricky…"

"Nope." She looked at him crossly and he sighed.

"Will you please just let me do this tonight?" Amy continued to look at him pointedly. "Pretty please? With sugar and cherries on top?" He could tell her resolve was weakening. "And sprinkles?" His final question got her to laugh and she put her hand down.

"What he just said?" Jesse asked Lauren. She sighed and nodded.

"Ok, fine." Jesse slipped the appropriate bills inside and folded his arms over it.

"I know you're an intelligent, capable, young woman, Lauren. And I adore those things about you. I just wanna do this for you tonight." She gave him a soft smile this time.

"Ok. Thank you." Meanwhile Madison was still trying to get her check from Justin.

"Come on, Maddie. What they said," he told her while inclining his head to his left towards Ricky and Jesse. "Please, princess?" he coaxed. Madison wasn't fazed.

"I'm my dad's princess I'm supposed to be my boyfriend's queen and queenie wants to help pay her own way." Amy and Lauren giggled at Madison's explanation, as well as the fact they knew her dad **did** call her princess a lot, when she wasn't in trouble for something. Justin was still playing keep away with the check binder and finally hid it behind his back as he settled on his reply.

"Well would my queen kindly let her humble knight perform this one little chivalrous act and pay her way for her?" Madison paused as she processed Justin's words and finally sat back in her seat, an amused smile on her face.

"When you put it that way, fair knight, the queen will grant you this small request." Realizing he'd won by playing along with Madison's analogy, he continued by standing and giving her a small bow to show his thanks, causing her to giggle and several nearby patrons who'd overheard their recent exchange to smile at them. Their waiter retuned and the boys handed over their check binders.

Back at the Juergens residence Anne was gushing over Ashley and Toby and taking copious amounts of pictures while George leaned against the wall and looked disapproving. Finally Ashley rolled her eyes.

"Mom, if you keep taking pictures the dance'll be over by the time we get there."

"Oh, alright. Just one more. Say 'homecoming'."

"Homecoming," Ashley and Toby said obligingly with smiles as Anne snapped the last picture.

"Alright you two," Anne said as she walked them to the front door. "Have fun." She gave Ashley one more hug. "And you do look so grown up in that dress, sweetheart," she whispered into Ashley's ear, making her smile. She and George watched them climb into Toby's mom car and waved as she drove out of the driveway. Anne leaned against George as she watched the car get smaller and smaller. George put his arm around her and kissed the top of her head. "They grow up so fast," she said wistfully. George chuckled.

"Isn't that my line?" he asked as he backed them into the house and shut the door. Anne moved out of his grasp with a sigh and went to the coffee table to retrieve her camera.

"What are we gonna do with ourselves for the next two and a half hours?" she wondered. George headed towards the stereo near the TV and turned it on to an oldies station. Anne looked up at him curiously when she noticed the lights suddenly dim. George sauntered over to her with a smile and held out his hand.

"Since everyone's at a dance tonight, may I have this dance?" he asked with an amused smile. Anne smiled back and took his hand.

"You may." George twirled her around and then they began to sway to the slow song that was quietly being emitted from the radio. Anne laid her head against George's chest and closed her eyes, remembering all the times they'd danced in college and realizing she'd missed this: being held by the man she cared about.

Back at Grant High, the six-pack was making their way towards the check-in table outside the gym. Grace was sitting at the table with another guy from the dance committee. She smiled when she saw them approaching.

"Hi you guys. You all look so amazing tonight!" she told them honestly. As each couple showed her their ticket she stamped their hands. "Have fun." They walked inside and the girls gasped. Black material had been draped across the ceiling to cover the rafters, with small gaps for the sprinklers obviously. But the gaps weren't noticeable as there were thousands of silver stars dangling from the fabric at different heights, giving the illusion they were dancing under the stars. The floor was covered with a thin green mat of some kind that felt squishy like soft grass and there were cardboard cutouts all along the wall that were painted to look like the grassy floor was a meadow surrounded by trees and gently rolling hills. At the far corner there was a photo area that featured a small white wooden bridge couple could stand on and beneath it was a small pond. How they got a pond into the gym was anybody's guess but there it was. Round tables and chairs where set up along one side of the gym and the cardboard cutout along that wall was painted to look like a moss covered stone wall, as though the sitting area was part of some kind of outdoor terrace overlooking distant hills and trees. There were actual fake trees and plants sprinkled throughout the seating area to help with the illusion. Perpendicular to the tables and chairs was a refreshment table with punch and sodas. Across the room from the refreshment table was the DJ booth, which had been given decorated cardboard cutouts of its own to wrap around the turntables and help them blend in. The ceiling also had small white lights dangling from it to help give the room a soft, moonlit glow but the DJ area also had larger lights that would be turned on once the dance really got going.

"You want a picture?" Ricky asked Amy, his arm at her waist holding her securely against him. She nodded and they headed over to the photo area to get in line. Madison and Lauren led their guys to a round table so they could drop off their sweaters and use them to reserve their seats and then they headed over to join Amy and Ricky. As they reached the line, Ashley and Toby entered the gym, also surprised by how artfully and realistically the gym had been decorated.

"Guess they go all out for homecoming," Toby remarked.

"I wouldn't know," Ashley told him. "This is my first dance." Toby looked at her with surprise but quickly masked it with a genuine smile.

"Well I'm glad we're both experiencing our first high school dance together." Ashley gave him a small smirk and they headed towards the refreshment table to grab sodas.

"Whoa," Henry said as he and Alice entered the gym. "This is waaaay better looking than the first dance we went to," he commented as he looked around and took it all in. Alice nodded in agreement.

"Homecoming's a big deal. If it sucks no one wants to come to any other dances. Plus everyone just wants to see who makes the homecoming court."

Everyone settled in and enjoyed themselves for the next hour and a half. The gym was filled with the sounds of music, people dancing, laughter, conversations and the snapping of cameras and camera phones. Finally the student body president and vice president walked over to a microphone stand near the DJ booth and motioned for her to stop playing after the song ended. As the music died down the president tapped the microphone to get everyone's attention.

"Alright everyone it's the moment you've all been waiting for: the announcement of the homecoming court!" Cheers and clapping resounded as members of the dance committee rolled out a red carpet and members of the ROTC lined up on either side of it. There were several oohs and ahhs as the ROTC members drew out sabers and held them up to form a bridge for the court to walk under. "Ladies and gentlemen, I know we're all just kinda standing around but for the sake of the yearbook staff," he turned to his left towards a student with a camera slung over his neck. "Who are trying to take photos for the yearbook, please actually walk up and down the carpet. Thanks." He turned towards the vice president standing on his right and she handed him an envelope. "Let's begin with the freshman court." There were several claps and cheers from the freshman in attendance. "And your Lord is," he paused to open the envelope and read it quickly. "Jason Garrison!" Jason whooped while everyone else clapped politely. He walked under the saber bridge towards the president while the yearbook cameraman snapped several pictures. The vice president crowned him with a small gold plastic crown and motioned for him to stand behind her. She handed the next envelope to the president. "And your Lady is…..Melissa Winters!" Melissa's friends cheered loudly while everyone else clapped politely. The vice president crowned Melissa and she stood next to Jason, smiling brightly. The VP handed the next envelope to the president.

"Now let's move on to the sophomore court." The sophomores clapped and cheered as he opened the envelope and read the name. "Your Duke is Timothy Langston!" Timothy, like Justin, let out a whoop as he walked under the saber bridge while everyone clapped, and a few of his classmen laughed at his enthusiasm. The VP crowned him with a slightly larger crown and then handed the next envelope to the president. "And joining him as your duchess is Samantha Quentin!" Samantha looked pleasantly surprised and practically ran up the red carpet to receive her crown. The president was handed the next envelope. "And moving on now to your junior court." The juniors cheered and clapped as the envelope was opened. "Your prince is Kenneth Franklin!" Everyone clapped as Kenneth made his way up the red carpet and accepted his slightly larger plastic crown. The VP handed the president the next envelope. "And your princess is," he paused to open the envelope and stared down at the name with confusion. He covered the mic and leaned over to the VP to whisper. Unfortunately he hadn't leaned over far enough and those closest to the speakers in the room overheard their whispered conversation while everyone else looked on curiously. "She wasn't even on the ballot," the president whispered.

"People wrote her name in the other box," the VP whispered back with a shrug.

"Can they **do** that?" The VP rolled her eyes and put a hand on her hip.

"That's what the **other** box is **for** Sherlock."

"Alright, alright." He cleared his throat and uncovered the mic. "And your princess is Amy Juergens!" There were disgusted gasps from the two princesses who had received enough nominations to be put on the ballet. They looked around for Amy so they could glare at her while all the juniors who'd voted for her erupted in loud cheers and applause. Meanwhile Amy was sitting at a table with her little six-pack and she was positively stunned, her mouth hanging open in shock. "Um, Amy. Would you come on up please?" the president said into the mic nervously when Amy didn't make a move to come forward. Ricky took her hand and pulled her up out of her chair.

"Go get your crown, angel," he whispered into her ear when he'd reached the beginning of the red carpet, giving her a tiny shove so she'd start moving. Amy walked up the carpet slowly, surprise and shock still etched into her face. She blinked when there was a small flash and suddenly remembered the yearbook. _That's not gonna be a pretty picture_ she mused as she let the VP put a small tiara on her head. She joined Kenneth standing with the rest of the court as they waited for the king and queen to be called.

"Alrighty then," the president said, trying to move things along. He opened the next envelope. "And your homecoming king is Jack Pappas!" More cheers and applause accompanied Jack as he walked up the red carpet and accepted his crown. He joined the others and waited to find out who the queen would be. "And your homecoming queen is Amanda Rivers!" Amanda quickly made her way up the red carpet to receive her crown, thrilled that she'd won. Once Amanda was crowned the president gestured to the homecoming court. "And there you have it ladies and gentlemen. You're homecoming court." He stepped to one side and joined everyone else in clapping for the court and all eight of them bowed politely. The yearbook camera man snapped several more pictures quickly and then the president motioned towards the DJ. "And now if the rest of the court will descend the red carpet, the king and queen will have their homecoming dance." The rest of the court members walked down the red carpet in reverse order, each couple with their arms linked. The yearbook cameraman had moved to the other end of the carpet and snapped away. Once Amy and Kenneth were halfway down the carpet, the ROTC began backing away and committee members began to roll up the carpet. Once the carpet was cleared, a member of the AV club adjusted the suspended lights so a small circle was created in the center of the dance area just for the king and queen. Jack and Amanda made their way to the spotlight and began to sway as the DJ played Skies Wide Open by Brian Culbertson. Amy made her way back over to her table to rejoin her friends and wait for Jack and Amanda to finish their dance. Madison and Lauren were beaming and Ricky was smiling softly at her.

"Congrats, Amy," Jesse leaned over and said to her.

"Yeah. Congrats," Justin said with a smile.

"Thanks. I have no clue how it happened," she admitted, still a little stunned by it all. She couldn't fathom why her classmates would vote for her to be their homecoming princess. Ricky squeezed her hand, causing her to break her train of thought. When she looked up at him he leaned over to whisper in her ear.

"May I have the next dance, princess?" She giggled and nodded and then watched Jack and Amanda as they swayed. After their dance ended everyone clapped politely and then the DJ spoke into her mic.

"Alright boys and girls, the king and queen have had their dance so this next one is for all the other couples here tonight." She began to play Diary by Alicia Keys and Amy and Ricky, Lauren and Jesse, Madison and Justin, Grace and Grant, Alice and Henry, and Ashley and Toby joined the other couples heading towards the dance area. Ricky gently twirled Amy and then wrapped his arms around her waist while she linked her fingers behind his neck.

"Congratulations," he told her with a smile.

"Thanks," she smiled back and then shook her head. "I have no idea how it happened. I wasn't even on the ballot."

"Well you've obviously impressed enough people that they decided to write you **onto** the ballot," he told as they continued gently swaying together. Amy nodded and chuckled.

"I guess so." They gazed at each other for several moments, lost in their own little world, before Ricky dipped his head slightly to kiss her.

"So would you say your first homecoming's been a good one?" Amy giggled and nodded.

"Absolutely," she stated and then laid her head against his chest. Ricky kissed the top of her head and they continued to sway in a slow circle, letting the beat of the music guide them. _Tonight had been a blast. I got to get all dolled up, went out to dinner with my boyfriend and best friends, had some fun dancing and just hanging out, and even won a crown at homecoming. All in all I'd say that makes for a pretty great Saturday night_ Amy thought with a smile. As Ricky listened to the lyrics of the song he thought about how far he and Amy had come over the past two years and what she meant to him now. _Alicia's saying it better than I could_ he thought with a smile as held Amy a little tighter. _It can only get better from here. Right?_


	18. The Missing Mommies

The Juergens were enjoying a peaceful Sunday afternoon at home. Amy and Ashley were on the floor playing with Robbie, attempting to help tire him out so he'd go down for a nap without a fuss. Anne and George were sitting on the couch folding the last load of laundry that had needed to be washed and watching their children play together. The doorbell rang and George rose to answer it. He opened the door and had to do a double take at the woman smiling back at him.

"What? Too old to give an old woman a hug?" she asked, pulling George into a hug.

"Mom?" he said with confusion, awkwardly hugging her back.

"Mom?" Amy and Ashley said in unison, giving each other a confused look. A split second later they smiled and got up to dash to the door. "Grandma?!" they asked in unison. Robbie pushed himself up to see what all the fuss was about and stopped in his tracks when he saw the strange woman at the door. Anne rose from her seat more demurely and joined everyone near the front door. George's mother released him to hug her granddaughters.

"There are my gorgeous grandbabies." She released them and looked them up and down. "Well didn't you ladies grow up to be lookers," she said with a smile. She happen to look between Amy and Ashley and saw a little boy standing there looking at her curiously. "And who's this little guy?" Realizing the stranger was talking to and looking at him, Robbie quickly hid behind his mother, clutching the skirt of her dress and cautiously peering around Anne's legs to eye the strange woman. George turned around to look at Robbie.

"Robbie, wanna come say hi to your grandma?" Robbie shook his head emphatically and hid behind Anne while George's mother turned her surprised face back to look at George, just to make sure she'd heard him correctly.

"Uh uh," Robbie said decisively, clutching Anne's skirt a little tighter. She chuckled and bent down to pick him up. He promptly buried his face in the crook of Anne's neck while she walked him a little closer to his grandmother.

"Robbie, this is daddy's mommy," Anne explained gently. Robbie turned his head slightly to peak at the strange woman, his curiosity getting the better of him.

"Well hello, Robbie," George's mom said to him. Robbie continued to look at her warily so she turned to face George. "You couldn't call or write to tell me I had a new grandson?" she scolded him with a smile. George shrugged.

"Let's go into the living room and have a seat," Anne suggested. Everyone made their way back to the living room and Amy and Ashley sat on the floor. The adults all sat on the couch, Anne holding Robbie in her lap as he was clutching her dress, letting her know he wanted her to keep holding him. "So when'd you get back, Penny?" Anne asked, to get the conversation going.

"About a week ago. I needed some time to get over the jetlag."

"What was it like, grandma?" Ashley asked, stretching out so she was lying on the carpet facing her grandmother.

"Definitely an adventure," she answered with a smile. "It was nice to try something new and live a more simple life for a while. I just knew it was time to come home for a bit. Get reacquainted with my family and then figure out what my next adventure will be." She glanced around at everyone. "So. Fill me in. What's been going on with you all in the two years or so I've been in Europe?" There was an awkward silence and everyone glanced at everyone else. Picking up on the slight tension, Penny's brows furrowed. "What? Is it really that bad?" Anne chuckled.

"Not really. It's just that a lot's been going on and I think no one's sure where to start."

"Oh. Well how about the quick version?" she suggested. Ashley snorted, causing her grandmother to look at her curiously.

"I'll give it a whirl. Let's see," she paused to select her words. "Amy went to band camp and came back pregnant, mom and dad got divorced 'cuz he cheated on her, Amy **had** the baby and dad and I moved next door for a bit, then mom had Robbie a few months later and we moved back in so he and mom could raise Robbie together and try to get back together, then Amy went to New York for a music program and came back all mature, we started really putting our family back together, Amy started dating and fell in love with her baby daddy, mom and dad have been dating to get to know each other again, and then you dropped by for a visit."

"**And** Ashley's sorta got a boyfriend," Amy added with a smirk in Ashley's direction. Ashley responded by sticking her tongue out at Amy. Penny was dumbstruck for several moments and everyone let her just take it all in and process it. When she had her mind wrapped around most of it she looked at Amy.

"So I'm a **great** grandmother?" Amy nodded and blushed a little. "Oh honey, don't be embarrassed about it. Where is the little guy? Taking a nap?" Amy shook her head.

"No. He stays with his dad on the weekends."

"And his dad's also your boyfriend right?" Amy nodded. "Just making sure I'm following along." She suddenly smiled. "Can I see a picture of him?" she asked eagerly. Amy got up and walked over to the fireplace to retrieve a framed photograph of her, Ricky and John that had been taken Labor Day weekend when he and his parents were over for a barbeque. She handed it to her grandmother and then sat back down on thw carpet. "Awwwww," Penny cooed. "He's beautiful, Amy." She gave Amy a mischievous grin. "And I take it the **other** cutie in the picture is his daddy?" Amy smiled brightly and nodded. Penny set the picture on the coffee table and looked around at her family. "Guess I'm gonna be around for a while since I've got so much to catch up on," she informed everyone.

"Sweet!" Ashley cheered.

At the Bowman household, Grace and Tom were just finishing cleaning up from their late lunch when there was a knock at the kitchen door. Kathleen answered it and froze from shock.

"Mom!?" she asked incredulously. The woman before her simply stared.

"Well are you going to invite me in?" she asked. Kathleen nodded mutely and stepped back so her mother could enter. Grace and Tom looked at her with confusion. Having never met the woman they weren't really sure how to react to her sudden presence in their home. The woman looked back at them with a small smile. "Hello, Grace. Tom," she said politely, taking a seat at the kitchen table. Kathleen took the seat nearest to her mother, a bewildered look still on her face.

"Mom, what are you doing here? Why didn't you tell me you were coming?" Her mother sighed.

"It's a long story, honey, but basically I only came to say my goodbyes." Kathleen gasped.

"Goodbyes!? What's wrong!? Where's dad!?" she asked, getting up to look out the window and see if her father was on his way up the driveway as well.

"Have a seat, Kathleen. He's not here." Kathleen sat back down, a troubled look in her eyes.

"Mom, what's going on?" she asked desperately, worry making her voice waver ever so slightly. Her mother looked her straight in the eyes.

"The doctor says my heart's bad," she finally said. "He wasn't sure how much longer the ol' ticker would hold out so I came to see you one last time," she admitted, finally showing just how tired and worn out she truly felt. Kathleen reached over and took hold of her mother's hands, tears in her eyes.

"Oh, mom." Grace and Tom began to become misty eyed as well and looked at each other. After a moment of silent sibling conversation, they joined their mother and grandmother at the kitchen table. Kathleen's mother sighed.

"Don't cry for me, sweetheart. I've lived my life and if it's my time then it's my time. The only regret I had was not talking to you more so that's why I knew I needed to come and say goodbye face to face." She gave her daughter's hands a reassuring squeeze before turning to face Grace and Tom. "And I wanted to see my grandkids face to face for once," she told them with a sad smile." Grace rose from her seat and gave her grandmother a hug. She pulled back to look at her grandmother, her vision slightly fuzzy from tears.

"Hi grandma," she said with a smile. Her grandmother smiled back as Grace sat down.

"Hi, Gracie." Tom rose and hugged her next.

"Hi grandma," he said, parroting his sister.

"Hi, Tom," she said, also with a smile. Tom and Grace had another silent conversation and then stood up from the table.

"We'll let you two catch up for a bit," Grace explained. She and Tom gave their grandmother another smile and then headed upstairs. Once the sounds of their footsteps faded, Kathleen wiped away the tears that had fallen and just gazed at her mother. Their relationship had been on the rocks from the moment she announced she was marrying George. If she was being truly honest with herself, she had missed her mother more than she had been willing to admit to herself. And to find out that she might not have long to repair that relationship, or even a chance to rebuild it, felt like someone was twisting a knife into her heart. Sensing her daughter's internal struggle, and knowing the root cause of it, her mother rose and opened her arms. Kathleen walked into them without hesitation and promptly burst into tears. Her mother rubbed her back soothingly and let her cry out her pain and frustrations. When the tears subsided, her mother gently pulled back.

"I think this calls for some tea." Kathleen nodded and set to work collecting everything they'd need for tea, her mother helping out by filling the tea kettle with water and turning on the burner to heat it. They didn't speak as they worked and waited for the water to boil, each trying to get their thoughts in order.

Back at the Juergens house, the girls had dispersed to their rooms for a little while and Anne had taken Robbie upstairs to put him down for his nap, all so George and his mom could have some time to catch up. George sat on the couch uncomfortably, nervous about what his mother had to say about what had been happening with his family while she'd been away. Penny sensed this and jumped right in.

"So Anne divorced you when she found out." It wasn't a question but George nodded in response anyway. "Were you expecting anything less?" He shrugged and sighed.

"Sorta." His mother chuckled.

"And what does **that** mean?"

"It means I wanted her to forgive me and stay with me."

"Honey, did you honestly think that was a possibility?"

"I hoped it could be, even if you didn't."

"Say what?"

"You were angry with me when you caught me and you weren't my wife so I'd hoped Anne would be a little more forgiving than you." Penny sighed and looked at him squarely.

"George, do you remember how angry and betrayed you felt when Kathleen admitted she'd had an affair?" George nodded glumly, not liking to remember how his first marriage ended. "The reason I came down so hard on you was because you hadn't learnt anything from that whole experience." George lifted his head to look at his mother with surprise.

"Huh?"

"George, to know what it feels like to have someone you love and trust, your spouse, hurt and betray you that way and then to turn around and do that to someone else? Someone that was also the mother of my grandbabies?" George hung his head in shame.

"I didn't plan on doing it. It just…"

"Don't even try it, George. Nothing just happens. Sometimes things may get a little outta control but doing what you did, knowing you were married and had a family with Anne. That didn't just **happen** honey. I wasn't born yesterday." George groaned.

"I know. I know."

"All that aside, you and Anne decided to try again?" George nodded.

"Slowly," he said with a pout, causing his mother to laugh at his predicament. "I don't find it all that funny, mom. I mean there's slow and then there's snail-speed slow and I feel like we're moving like the later."

"What'd you expect, Georgie? You destroyed the trust and faith this woman had in you. Not to mention she's gotta think about how getting remarried to you's gonna affect her relationship with her girls." George's brows furrowed with confusion.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, what message are her daughters gonna get if she remarries the man who cheated on her just because she happens to have a history and a couple of kids with him? And speaking of kids, how'd Robbie enter the picture? I thought you got fixed so how'd Anne end up pregnant again?" George blushed and his mother gave him a look that let him know she wouldn't continue speaking without an answer.

"Because I might've lied about getting fixed," he replied slowly, bracing himself for his mother's reaction. He cringed when she glared at him.

"George Juergens, I may have been a single mother but I **KNOW** I raised you to be a better person that that! If you didn't wanna get fixed why not just tell your wife that?"

"Because I knew she really wanted me to do this for her and I figured if she **thought** I had she'd be happy and I wouldn't have to get snipped."

"And what do you think would've happened if you'd 'accidentally' gotten the woman you were cheating with pregnant the way you 'accidentally' did your wife?" George's eyes suddenly widened with fear, causing his mother to pause for a moment. "What?" she asked, unsure why her simple what-if question had alarmed her son so much. George sighed and slouched on the couch.

"It's a long story," he told her somberly.

"Well I've got nothin' but time," she informed him, leaning back against the couch and crossing her arms. George looked at his mother and took a deep breath. He let it out slowly and began to tell her about everything that had happened since she'd been gone.

At the Bowman residence, Kathleen and her mom were quietly sipping their tea. Kathleen felt her nerves steady somewhat and trusted herself to speak. Before she did so she sent up a silent prayer. _Lord, help me find the words I need to say and give me the strength to have this conversation._

"Mom?"

"Hmmm?"

"We haven't been close ever since I married George." Her mother nodded. "I know you and dad weren't thrilled with my choice of a husband so I get why you never answered my letters or called back then. But what I **don't** get is why you continued to basically ignore me after I told you I'd divorced George and remarried." Her mother set her cup down with a sigh.

"Kathleen, you know how we raised you and what we believe." Kathleen nodded. "The reason we didn't reach out to you when you married Marshall is because you know how your father and I feel about divorce. Although, recently I've begun to question his stance on the issue, but that's not important right now," she said with a slight dismissive wave of her hand. "As for you and George, we were against you marrying him because we knew he didn't have the same beliefs and values we did and we also knew you two were two young to make it. You weren't going into the marriage with your eyes open; you were letting your emotions guide you. And as your mother I also knew you weren't truly in love with him, you were just infatuated with him." Kathleen sighed and stared into her cup.

"I know."

"Hindsight is twenty-twenty," her mother said with an amused smile. Kathleen shook her head.

"Mom, I was only going into that marriage half blind."

"What do you mean?" Kathleen chuckled at her own stupidity.

"I mean I married George because I wanted to have sex with him." Her mother gasped.

"You what!?"

"I know, I know. It's just that sex was always a taboo topic and I was curious about it. I was actually attracted to George, mom, and when I realized he was willing to marry me and have sex with me, I was over the moon." Her mother looked at her like she'd just been sucker punched.

"You got married just to have sex?" she asked, not sure she was understanding her daughter's words. Kathleen nodded.

"And then we got divorced because I realized I didn't wanna be the kinda wife you'd raised me to be."

"I'm not following." Kathleen took a deep breath, knowing her mother wasn't going to like what came out of her moth next and hoping it didn't aggravate her heart.

"George and I got divorced because I had an affair." Silence filled the kitchen for several moments. Kathleen simply continued starring into her cup, waiting for her mother's religious tirade about her actions. Instead, her mother asked her a question.

"Honey, I'm not seeing how having an affair was your way of rebelling against the faith we raised you to have."

"It wasn't the faith itself, mom. **That's** gotten me through a lot in my life, including my divorce," she admitted, finally feeling brave enough to look at her mother again. "You raised me to believe it's a wife duty to take care of and pick up after her husband."

"Yes," he mother replied, her tone indicating she was waiting for the rest of this explanation.

"Well George used to leave his socks all over the apartment. He's come home, step on one sock with one foot and pull his foot out then do the same with the other and just leave the socks there on the floor." Her mother shook her head.

"So you had an affair because of your husband's socks?" Kathleen laughed, causing her mother to look at her with concern.

"Sorry. I'm laughing because it **did** happen because of socks, sorta. You see, picking up his socks made me feel like I was his maid and I hated it. So after a while I just started throwing them away. But then I felt so guilty that when I noticed his sock count was getting low I went to the store and bought him new ones." Kathleen began to blush. "The guy at the store who sold me the socks was the guy I ended up having an affair with. I explained to him why I had to keep coming by to buy socks, minus the part that I was raised to believe a wife was supposed to pick up after her husband, and he told me I was a sweet, kindhearted woman for caring enough to make sure George had enough socks. It wasn't anything romantic but every time I bought socks he said something like that that made me feel like someone **appreciated** the fact I was picking up socks and eventually I wanted to be with someone I thought appreciated **me**." She took a small sip of her tea. "I felt insanely guilty afterwards and I admitted it to George right away, minus the fact I'd been throwing away his socks and buying new ones for months and why."

"So you never explained this all to him?" Kathleen shook her head.

"He was so hurt and angry that all he wanted was a divorce, and I didn't blame him. I'd hurt him deeply." Her mother reached over and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze.

"Sweetheart, I know your dad and I were hard on you but we did it because we wanted you to grow up to be a strong woman of faith. I didn't realize we'd pushed you so hard." Kathleen placed her hand over her mother's.

"Mom, I **am** a strong woman of faith. I've just realized that there's more to God than the picture you and dad painted of him for me growing up. My faith never wavered, my understanding of God simply matured over time," she explained with a smile. Her mother smiled back.

"I'm glad to hear that, honey."

"Hey mom?"

"Hmmm?"

"Why isn't dad here?" Her mother sighed sadly.

"He still hasn't forgiven you for marrying against his wishes or for getting divorced."

"I kinda figured," Kathleen said, rolling her eyes.

"You don't understand, honey." Kathleen looked at her mother, clearly lost about the meaning of her words. "You see, when I found out I was sick, I told your dad I wanted to come see you he said no. When I told him I was coming to see you anyway, he divorced me for disobeying him."

"He what?!" Her mother nodded.

"He took another wife who he said was a stronger believer, who would obey his authority. As far as he's concerned, he said his goodbyes to you back then and he's said his goodbyes to me now and that's that." Kathleen eared up.

"Oh mom, I'm so sorry."

"Don't be, honey," her mother said while shaking her head. "I'm still a little shocked he did this but saying goodbye to you was more important to me than making your father angry. It's simply unfortunate that wanting to make things right with you cost me my husband."

"I'm so sorry mom," Kathleen said again, tearfully. Her mother smiled.

"Don't be sad for me, honey. What he did was upsetting but I'm making my peace with it.

"Well I want you to stay here with us," Kathleen said firmly.

"Oh sweetie that's alright. I've got a place to stay for a while." Kathleen shook her head.

"I want you **here** mom, with family." Kathleen paused to try and reign in the tears that threatened to fall. "If we've only got a little bit of time left than I think we should make the most of it." Her mother smiled and nodded her head.

"Alright. I'd like that." They shared a smile and sat in companionable silence. At the Juergens house Penny went in search of Amy and knocked gently on her bedroom door.

"Come in," she replied once she heard the knock. She smiled when she saw it was her grandmother and quickly closed the lid of her laptop and slid it beside her as her grandmother lowered herself to Amy's bed with a cheeky smile.

"So I hear the last two years have been pretty eventful for you." Amy bit her lip nervously and chuckled as she nodded. "So your dad gave me the highlights: first boyfriend, illegal marriage, having a baby, **adjusting** to having a baby, trying to navigate love, and becoming a grounded young woman." Amy smiled at her grandmother's praise.

"Yeah. Definitely a busy two years." The two women chuckled.

"So tell me, Rosie, how are you doing? Really?"

"I'm good, grandma. Really good. My grades are good, I've got my two best friends in my corner, my family's no longer so dysfunctional, my son's happy and healthy, and I've got a great guy in my life who gets me and truly loves me." Sadness flashed in her eyes for a moment but her grandmother noticed it.

"Then what was that look for?"

"What look?"

"I saw that little tiny twinge of sadness, Rosie. Now tell grandma what the problem is." Amy chuckled.

"It's not actually a problem. It's just that my baby's not such a baby anymore," she admitted.

"Ah," Penny said knowingly. "There's nothing I can do to stop that but I can tell you this: enjoy every moment and take lots of pictures. Because one day you'll look around and find yourself a great grandma and wonder where the time went," she told Amy with a smile.

"Speaking of pictures," Amy got up from the bed and went to her bookshelf to retrieve her scrapbooks of John. "Wanna see some?" Amy sat back on her bed with the books and her grandmother scooted closer.

"Absolutely!"

While Amy and her grandmother perused John's scrapbooks, Ricky was busy cooking dinner for himself and John. His phone buzzed and he wiped his hands to answer it, smiling when he saw it was his mother.

"Hey, mom. What's up?"

"I just wanted to see if you had decided what you wanted for Christmas." Ricky laughed.

"You mean besides Amy?"

"Ricky," she said with a warning tone. "You promised Amy you'd be patient so I don't see the point in holding out hope Santa's gonna change her mind by Christmas. Now. You know I don't like waiting until the last minute and I like to get my family things they actually **want** for Christmas. So?" Ricky placed the cut up broccoli florets in a steamer basket in a pot of boiling water.

"I really don't know, mom. I mean as long as I've got Amy and John I'm good. I really can't think of anything I'd like to have for Christmas. Hey, what do **you** want for Christmas?" he asked as the timer on the stove sounded. He opened the stove and removed the chicken breasts he had baked.

"Your dad'll probably be calling you later about it but I want the new Canon slim digital camera and you boys can go halfsies on it." Ricky chuckled.

"Okay, mom. We'll get you your camera."

"Why thank you. I look forward to opening it." Ricky laughed at his mother's exaggerated enthusiasm. She heard John vocalizing in the background as he played. "So how's my grandson?"

"He was at your place last night, mom. I promise you not much has changed in the few hours since then," he told her with a smile.

"So are you and Amy gonna start potty training soon?" she asked, a little too excitedly.

"Not yet," he told her, taking dishes out of the cupboard to set the table. "She wants to go shopping for a toddler bed next week and she wants to give him a few weeks of getting used to **that** change before we introduce potty training."

"That sounds reasonable," Margaret agreed. "Just let me know when you guys start so I can get the same potty."

"Huh?" he asked with confusion as he finished setting the table.

"When you and Amy buy him a potty let me know so I can get the same one. That way regardless of which house he's at he'll be comfortable using the potty since he'll already be used to seeing it."

"Oh." _Why didn't I think of that?_ "Will do, mom."

"Alright, Well I'll let you go then. Kiss my grandson for me." Ricky chuckled.

"Ok, mom. Bye." He ended the call and headed over to where John was playing. He knelt down and kissed his forehead. "That was from Grandma Margaret," he told John with a smile.

"Ganma?" Ricky nodded.

"That's right, buddy. Grandma," he explained, picking John up and buckling him into his high chair while he brought their food to the table. Ricky and John enjoyed a quiet meal together while the Bowman and Juergens families did likewise, each with the addition of their surprise visitor. Once their meals were finished, Amy headed over to Ricky's to pick up John.

"Just a minute," Ricky called out when she knocked. A moment later he opened the door and a happy John ran to her.

"Mommy!" Amy smiled and scooped him up.

"Did you have fun with daddy?" she asked. He nodded. Amy turned to look at Ricky. "Hey, handsome." He smiled back.

"Hey, gorgeous." He leaned in for a quick kiss. "So mom wants us to let her know when we start potty training," he told her. "She wants to make sure she buys the same potty to keep at her house so he won't be afraid to use it when he's over there." Amy nodded in agreement.

"Okay." She looked down at John. "Let's go buddy. There's somebody who wants to meet you at grandma and grandpa Juergens' house," she told him, tickling his belly and making him laugh. Ricky looked at her curiously.

"Who's that?"

"My dad's mom dropped by and surprised us," she explained, looking away from John and back at him as she tucked her hair behind her right ear. "She's been in Europe the last two years living in this sorta naturalistic commune and decided it was time to come back home for a bit. We got her all caught up this afternoon." She looked back down at John with a smile. "And she's waiting around to meet this little guy." She looked back up at Ricky. "So I'll see you at school tomorrow."

"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow." He stepped forward to give her a goodbye kiss and then kissed the top of John's head. "See you later, buddy."

"Bye daddy," John said with a little wave. Amy adjusted the strap of John's overnight bag on her shoulder and headed home. Ricky shut and locked the door thoughtfully. He couldn't remember ever meeting either of his birth parents' parents. He couldn't remember ever meeting any of their siblings or his cousins for that matter either. _Where the heck were __**my**__ grandparents_ he wondered as he picked up John's toys and then got ready for bed. _I always assumed they were only children, which is why I never met their siblings and whatnot but where __**were**__ their parents?_ As he brushed his teeth he came to a decision. _It's time to have a talk with Nora._


	19. Nora's Demons

Ricky was lost in thought as he made his way to the band room the next morning. Amy was reaching up to remove her French horn case from its cubby when he entered the storage space. He noticed and walked over, removing it for her and carrying it into the band room. Amy noticed he was lost in thought but there wasn't time to ask him about it. Ricky followed her to her chair and set the case on the floor next to it, smiling at her briefly, before heading over to the drum section across the room. Mr. Sidlack was already at the front of the room arranging the music for their warm ups and he promptly tapped the stand with his baton when the bell rang, signaling it was time to begin. After class Amy waited at her cubby for Ricky and they walked out into the hallway together.

"What's going on?" she asked as they headed down the hall to the nearest staircase.

"I've decided to talk to Nora tonight," he told her quietly. Amy realized what a big step this was for him and kissed his cheek. He snapped out of his little funk to truly look at her.

"Call me if you need or want to talk after. I don't care how late," she told him. He smirked and kissed her temple. He slung his arm around her shoulder and they walked up the stairs towards their next classes.

"Thanks."

Back at the butcher shop Bunny, Nora and three other workers were opening the shop for the day.

"Hey, Nora," one of her coworkers greeted her as he carried out a box of sauces so he could restock one of the shelves.

"Hey, Pete," she replied with a smile before she made her way to the front counter to turn on the display lights and unwrap several trays of meat. Bunny walked behind her with a tray of fresh ham slices to add to the display.

"Morning, Nora," she said warmly.

"Hey, Bunny. How are you?"

"Good," Bunny replied, sliding the tray into a slot in the display case and then sliding the door closed. "And you?" Nora nodded her head.

"Pretty good. Just going one day at a time, you know?" Bunny nodded with a smile.

"I hear that's the best way to do it." The two women shared a brief smile before getting back to work. The day continued like any other. Nora and her coworkers sliced meat, wrapped cuts for customers, made small talk with the regulars, stocked shelves, and made gift baskets.

"So you got any big plans for Thanksgiving?" Pete asked Nora as they were washing up dishes in the back later that afternoon. She shook her head.

"No. Just gonna hang out at my apartment," she informed him as she removed several clean trays from the industrial dishwasher's drying belt.

"Well you're welcome to join me and my family if you'd like," he offered. Pete was the epitome of a nice guy. He was polite and courteous to everyone he encountered and was always willing to help out and put his best foot forward. Nora gave him a grateful smile and shook her head.

"While that's nice of you, Pete, I'd really rather not," she admitted. "Family's kind of a sore subject for me and I'd feel weird around a bunch of strangers, you know?" Pete nodded with a smile.

"I can understand that," he replied, loading the last of the dirty trays into the dishwasher. "But if you change your mind just let me know," he told her with a smile before heading to the hand washing station to wash his hands. _Not gonna happen_ she said to herself ruefully as she waited for the trays to finish washing and come out the other end on the dishwasher's conveyor belt. _The only family I'm still in touch with wants nothing to do with me_ she thought sadly as she grabbed a tray off the conveyor belt and stacked it where it was supposed to go. _The only things I'm thankful for anyway are that Ricky got away, Bob's in prison and I'm still breathing_ she thought darkly as she smirked to herself. She finished stacking the rest of the trays and washed her hands before heading back out front. When she did she spotted Ricky and Ben getting ready to finish up the day's gift basket orders. Ricky spotted her and set down his clipboard to walk over to her.

"Do you have any plans tonight?" he asked. Nora shook her head.

"No. Why?"

"I need to talk to you and I was wondering if we could talk after work." Nora shrugged.

"I'm not doing anything."

"Okay. I'll meet you at the time clock," he informed her before heading back to the workstation to start on his basket orders. _This oughta be interesting_ she thought sarcastically as she got back to work.

Closing time rolled around, as Nora knew it would, and she waited at the time clock for Ricky, telling Ben and her other coworkers goodnight. After Ricky punched out he motioned towards the door that lead upstairs and she followed him up to his apartment. Ricky closed the door behind her and tossed his keys into the little dish by the front door where he kept them.

"Is pizza alright for dinner?" he asked, taking out his cellphone to dial. "I'm not really in the mood to cook tonight." Nora nodded. "Any preferences?" he asked.

"Just no veggies, please," she said, taking a seat on the couch. Ricky called Dominos and placed his order, pulling out his wallet so he could read his debit card number when asked to. His order placed, Ricky sat on the couch with his mother and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. Nora had every intention of sitting there patiently and letting her son ask her whatever he wanted but the suspense started to eat at her so she spoke first.

"So what do you wanna talk about this time?" Ricky turned his body so he was fully facing his mother and looked her straight in the eye.

"Are my grandparents dead?" Nora was surprised, and a little confused, by his question.

"Not that I know of. Why?" Ricky sighed and stared down at the couch.

"Amy and I weren't exactly friends during most of her pregnancy and we certainly weren't on the best of terms right after John was born. Ben came over a little while back and showed me a picture of Adrian's sonogram because it had made him freak out about becoming a dad and I realized I'd never seen a sonogram of John. Amy let me look through his baby book and I saw this little family tree in the front of it and I realized my side of John's tree was mostly empty because I don't know anything about my grandparents."

"Ah," Nora said, believing she understood where this was going. "So now you're curious about mine and Bob's parents." Ricky nodded.

"And not just that. See Amy's grandma, her dad's mom, dropped by for a surprise visit last night and it made me wonder why I'd never met my grandparents." Ricky looked back up at his mother. "Where **was** your family when I was growing up? Or even Bob's for that matter. Unless you think they're just as bad as he is." Nora sighed.

"It's a long story, Ricky."

"I need some answers, mom. Part of me wants to know if I've even **got** other family members and the other wants to know why none of them came to rescue me." Sadness and regret filled Nora's eyes as she looked at her son.

"You may not like what you hear."

"I need to know," he told her resolutely. Nora took a deep breath.

"Well long story short our parents and siblings didn't approve of us getting married so young so they basically disowned us. I only met Bob's parents once and since we decided to stay in California after we got hitched, I haven't seen or spoken to anyone from my family since I was nineteen."

"Where do they live?"

"Well I grew up in Colorado so I can only assume my parents still live there." Ricky nodded in understanding.

"Why didn't they approve?" Nora sighed.

"Lots of reasons," she admitted sadly.

"Like?" Ricky pressed.

"Like the fact I was almost nineteen, Bob was almost twenty-one and we were both still in college; the fact we'd only been dating for less than a year; the fact we both only had college jobs and they thought we didn't make enough to support ourselves; the fact the future was uncertain with Bob getting ready to graduate and go to work and I might have to relocate with him depending on what job he got. Take your pick." Ricky didn't say anything so Nora continued. "So when we realized our families weren't gonna support us, we eloped."

"So were you guys in love at least?" Ricky asked curiously. Nora shook her head.

"We were young and **thought** we were in love. Now I realize that I was simply deeply infatuated with him and believed I was about to start my happily ever after." She chuckled humorlessly. "My parents were right: I was too young to be getting married." Ricky swallowed the lump that had risen in his throat. He was gonna be nineteen in a few months and he felt ready to marry Amy, but maybe he and Amy were too young too and the thought of their marriage dissolving worried him.

"Okay so you only **thought** you loved Bob. When did all that change? When did things start to get outta control?" Nora smiled sadly.

"Oh, honey, they were always slightly outta control, I just couldn't see it at the time."

"What do you mean?"

"We were in college, Ricky, and we lived like it. Yeah we went to class, did our homework, and worked our campus jobs but on weekends we were stereotypical college kids. We both liked to party and we partied hard. I began drinking a little in high school, getting my first taste of it at a school dance, so I had no reservations about drinking in college. And after Bob introduced me to weed, well….it just became a part of how we partied."

"So the drinking problems began in college?" Nora shook her head and Ricky gave her a look of disbelief. "What?"

"It didn't become a problem 'til you were three."

"Wait, **I** made you guys turn into alcoholics. Gee, **thanks**, mom," he said sarcastically as he rolled his eyes. He dropped the sarcastic attitude when he noticed his mother begin to tear up and tried to backtrack. "I didn't mean it like…" Nora shook her head to cut him off and then there was a knock at the door. Ricky rose to answer it and found a pizza delivery guy at his door. Ricky signed the receipt and took the pizza box from him. Once he shut the door he placed the box on the coffee table and then went into the kitchen to get two plates and napkins. He set one of each on the coffee table in front of his mother and opened the box. They each took two slices and ate them in silence. Ricky glanced sideways at his mother every so often to make sure she wasn't crying, feeling bad that he was dredging up bad memories but also desperately needing to understand how his childhood became a nightmare, why his mother had abandoned him. Once their plates were empty they set them down on the coffee table and Nora turned to look at her son.

"You know your childhood was a nightmare, Ricky, and you even understand a little how it happened from the last time we talked but are you sure you wanna know all the details?" Ricky nodded his head and gave his mother a determined expression. "Ok. Well the first year of our marriage was great. It was like nothing had really changed except the fact we were living together and having sex more often because of it." She saw Ricky cringe at the mental image but pressed on anyway. "The next year I got pregnant and we were both thrilled," she remembered with a smile. "I'd always wanted to be married and become a mom you know. Anyway. Bob had graduated and gotten a job with a local construction company and he told me he'd been raised that the man provided for his family so he wanted me to quit my job and only focus on taking care of our kid; he promised he'd take care of everything else." Nora sighed sadly. "At the time he said that I thought it was sweet, that my husband only wanted to take care of me. What he **forgot** to say was that he also believed a wife's job was to take care of him and the house. I dropped outta school towards the end of my pregnancy, figuring I'd always have plenty of time to go back, at least part time, when you started school, and become a typical housewife: cooking, cleaning, running errands, blah, blah, blah." She smiled lovingly at Ricky. "And then we had you and I didn't know it was possible for a person to be that happy and love somebody so much that they'd just met, even if you'd been kicking my bladder for months," she told him with a cheeky smile. Ricky smirked back at her, remembering how he felt the first time he saw and then held John. He also remembered how uncomfortable Amy had been and felt bad about causing his mother discomfort.

"Sorry," he said sincerely. She chuckled at his response.

"For the first two years of your life things were just fine. Bob went to work and brought home the bacon, I took care of the house, and on Friday nights Tammy, a high schooler who lived in the apartment above us with her parents, babysat you while Bob and I went out and partied. Although, having a kid and a 9-5 change you a little and you don't party **quite** as hard or as long as you used to. It wasn't until you had just turned three that it all went downhill." Nora looked at Ricky sadly. "That's when the monster first showed up."

"That's what I don't get, mom. How did you not know Bob was the monster he is during the first three years?"

"Ricky, have you met Bob?" Ricky narrowed his eyes and glared at her.

"Yeah," he replied sarcastically.

"Then you know he can be very charming and appear to be a nice guy when he wants to, right?" Ricky nodded, not sure what she was getting at.

"Well when we were dating, Bob was charming and a lot of fun. It probably helped that I liked to drink and smoke pot too, but basically he had no **reason** to show me the dark side of himself."

"So what set him off then?" Ricky asked curiously.

"The phone bill." Ricky's brows lifted in surprise.

"Say what?" Nora huffed and nodded.

"One day we got a letter in the mail from the phone company saying our payment was late and we had 'til the end of the month to pay it or they'd stop our service. When Bob got home that night I showed him the letter and he said he's take care of it. My mistake was pressing the issue by asking him if there was anything wrong with our finances. He glared at me and said that bills were a man's responsibility and I shouldn't worry about it. I told him that I wasn't worried I was just curious and he hauled off and slapped me. I was so stunned I just stared at him. He said 'I told you I'll take care of it. Don't you ever question me again'. He practically growled it at me and I was too shocked to say anything."

"Why didn't you leave him then? The first time he hit you?"

"Because I was confused."

"About what?" he asked flabbergasted.

"Ricky, growing up I'd always believed that husbands and wives loved each other, that a loving husband would never hit his wife. I replayed our past and tried to see if I'd missed any signs that my husband had a bad temper and I couldn't find a single one. The next day I tried to ask Bob how he could bring himself to hit me and he slapped me again, hard enough to make me fall over. As I clutched my cheek he knelt down and got in my face. He told me that a wife's job was to take care of the house and her husband and not ask questions. Wives who don't know that get reminded until they remember. I knew then and there that by 'reminded' he meant slapped. I began to cry and looked down at the floor. I told him husbands are supposed to love their wives and if he didn't love me I'd just take you and leave so he could find someone he did. He grabbed my face and forced me to look at him as he laughed. He told me that I had nowhere to go. My family wasn't speaking to me and all my college friends had moved on and forgotten about me. Even if I **did** have somewhere to go no one else would want someone who had a kid in tow. Then he suddenly stopped laughing and his face became dead serious. He told me if I ever tried to take his son away from him I'd wish I were dead." Nora shuddered and Ricky had to fight back tears. Nora brought her knees up to her chest and hugged her legs. "I didn't leave because I believe he was right. I had nowhere to go and no one to turn to all because I'd chosen to defy my parents. I also knew that if I tried to take you away with me Bob would either kill me or both of us and I couldn't just leave you all alone with him so I stayed." Ricky moved closer to his mother on the couch and hugged her.

"I'm so sorry, mom," he told her sincerely, a tear escaping and traveling down his cheek. Nora hugged him back tightly,

"It's not your fault, Ricky. You were three. There's nothing you could've done to help me," she assured him tearfully, her voice cracking.

"I know that now, it's just…all these years I wondered why you never bothered to try and get us outta there and now I know Bob basically imprisoned you mentally so you couldn't." Nora looked at her son, remembering the sweet baby boy he'd been before Bob traumatized him.

"I wasn't strong enough, Ricky. It's why I became an alcoholic." Ricky didn't quite understand that statement.

"What do you mean?" Nora sighed and broke the embrace.

"Remember how the last time you came to see me I told you Bob put me in the hospital countless times and even locked me outta our apartment sometimes?" Ricky nodded. "He did those things every time I tried to find some way to stop him." She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, breaking eye contact with Ricky. "The first time he molested you I charged at him, trying to pull him off you. He smacked me so hard I fell against the dresser in your room and got cut above my eyebrow. He grabbed my arm and dragged me outta the room. He took me to our bedroom and beat me for the first time. Not bad enough to need to go to the hospital but badly. From that point on I knew that my husband was either gonna beat me or molest you so I chose to let him beat me instead," Ricky looked at his mother horrified, unsure how to process the fact that his mother had chosen to sacrifice herself for him. "At first." Her words broke his chain of thought.

"At first?" Nora nodded.

"After he started molesting you, I would try to stop him by either questioning him about something else so he'd go off on me or just doing little things that I'd come to learn annoyed him. And after a while, I started drinking and getting high more often so the beatings wouldn't feel as bad. A little while after that, I realized that when I was passed out drunk or so high I didn't know what was going on around me, Bob was molesting you and I felt guilty. Guilty for not knowing how to stop him, guilty that I'd failed as a mother and couldn't protect my child, guilty that I was in the mess I was because I was stubborn and didn't listen to my parents, guilty because I wasn't wise enough to spot an abusive husband before I married him and guilty I couldn't figure out how to get us away from him." Tears began falling down Ricky's cheeks unabashedly.

All these years he'd resented his mother for drinking and smoking her troubles away while his father hurt him. As a kid he thought she was selfish for loving her vices more than him. As he got a little older he understood that alcohol and weed were her coping mechanisms for their situation but he was still angry that she didn't just leave, and take him with her. Until he'd spoken to her just before John's first birthday, he'd never known that her beatings were more severe than his, that she'd ended up in the hospital frequently or that sometimes she hadn't been there because Bob had actually locked her out of the apartment. He knew now that they had both been Bob's victims but maybe, just maybe, his mother hadn't abandoned him completely like he thought she had.

"I didn't know, mom." Nora chuckled sadly and wiped her wet cheeks as she looked at him.

"Kids aren't **supposed** to know their parents are hurting. They're just supposed to be kids and figure life out as it happens. They're never supposed to **see** the dark side of life in their own home."

"True, but at least it makes a little more sense to me know," he assured her. Nora snorted.

"It's not **supposed** to, Ricky. Nothing about an alcoholic, abusive parent is supposed to make sense."

"Okay then even though I heard you explain how it all went down I don't get it," he told her with a smirk. "But what I'd **like** to get is why you never tried to get me back after I went into foster care."

"You mean after I got outta jail?" she asked sarcastically with a raised eyebrow. Ricky nodded. "And after you refused to take my calls?" Ricky hung his head with embarrassment. Even though his mother had been jailed for marijuana possession and child neglect after social services intervened in his life, she had stayed in touch with his social worker and tried to call him multiple times. Each time he'd refused to take the call. It's no wonder that eventually she just stopped calling.

"I was angry," he admitted quietly.

"I know. That didn't stop me from carrying about you though. In fact I cared enough to leave you alone after you made it clear you wanted nothing to do with me anymore and just kept tabs on you through Margaret." Ricky looked at her and saw the pain in her eyes, even though her voice had remained level.

"I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize, Ricky. In fact I'd really appreciate it if you'd **stop** doing that. It only makes me feel worse."

"Worse how?"

"I've got to spend the rest of my life knowing I was an unfit mother and I can't go back and change that. My choices are why our relationship is what it is and having my child apologize for it when it was my own fault only makes me feel even worse about how phenomenally I screwed up as a mother," she explained, crossing her arms and slouching into the couch with a frown. The frown slowly dissolved as she began to tear up.

"I'm…" Nora turned her head to look at him pointedly so he wouldn't say 'sorry.'. "I mean…Look I don't know what other word or phrase to use here, mom. But I **am** sorry, okay? I'm sorry because all this time I was angry at you for abandoning me for alcohol and weed when I needed you. I thought you loved those things more than me because if you didn't you'd take us away from Bob. I didn't know you honestly believed you had no choice but to stay, and for my sake too. And even though I was mad at you for so long, I still love you and I'm sorry your husband and my father hurt you." They stared at each other tearfully for several moments.

"It's not your fault, Ricky. None of it was your fault. I'm just sorry you were hurt because of me and that I wasn't the mother you needed or deserved." Nora broke eye contact and stared down at her lap as she sat up a little straighter. "We can't change or erase the past, Ricky." He nodded in agreement.

"Maybe not. But we can do our best to heal." Nora snorted.

"Easier said than done," she remarked darkly.

"Not if we both make an honest effort to try." Nora sighed.

"They tell you in AA that the only way to heal from your past is to acknowledge what happened, admit how it affected you and face the scars it's left you with one day at a time."

"Okay…" Ricky said, not sure where she was going with this.

"You're also supposed to stay away from the things that remind you of that past so you don't fall off the wagon."

"Alright."

"Unfortunately, being around you always brings up, eventually, something that constantly reminds me of how colossally I've screwed up." Ricky was lost.

"What are you talking about?" Nora sighed deeply.

"Margaret."

"Margaret!?" Nora nodded, still unable to look at her son. "What's she got to do with this!?"

"You wouldn't understand."

"Try me," he replied sarcastically. Nora shook her head.

"Have you ever been pregnant?" Ricky snorted.

"Of course not."

"Then you wouldn't understand," she admitted quietly, tears silently beginning to fall down her cheeks. Ricky's attitude towards her instantly thawed.

"Mom, just talk to me. Please?"

"It's that word."

"What word?"

"Mom."

"What about it?"

"Both of us can use that word but it holds more weight for her."

"I don't follow."

"I carried you inside me, Ricky," she began, her tears now flowing uncontrollably even though her voice was steady. "I felt you move inside me. You kicked my internal organs and came out of my body. I nursed you, changed your diapers, witnessed your first steps, heard your first word, potty trained you, read stories to you, took you to the park, bathed you, clothed you, played with you. All for the first two years of your life. But because I wasn't emotionally or physically there for you when you when you were old enough to know it and needed and wanted me there, you call me your **other** mother. Margaret's the mother who took care of you when you were old enough to remember and appreciate it so I get pushed to the side. I know it's my own fault and like I said, I have to live with that. It doesn't make it hurt any less when you hear your child call some other women mom. It's not a word you just toss around. It **means** something to a mother. To know your child doesn't see you as their mother, doesn't want you to be their mother, it hurts, Ricky. And as much as I want to be a part of your life again, I know I'll always just be someone from your past that you don't really trust and don't really care to know anymore. Being around you constantly reminds me that I'm not your mother anymore and probably never will be. In your eyes Margaret will always be your mother and I'm just your former incubator."

Tears were flowing from Ricky's eyes freely now too, for two reasons. One, he never knew just how much being separated from him had actually hurt his mother. Two, he remembered his conversation with Amy when they finally laid everything on the table and he remembered how angry he felt, for her, when he found out someone had hurt Amy be making her think she would be replaced as John's mother. He had no idea he'd basically driven a wedge between himself and his mother simply by referring to Margaret as his mother. He'd only lived with Margaret and Shakur for almost four years before he moved out on his own but they had been the parents he needed and had always wanted so it felt right calling them mom and dad. But he never knew how much weight those words carried for the people they were or weren't applied to.

"You're still my mom and you always will be," Ricky assured her. Still Nora couldn't look at him. "Mom." Nora wiped her cheeks and turned her head to look at her son. "Honestly I don't know when I'll be able to trust or count on you again like I should and like you want me to. But," he added quickly, seeing sadness and hopelessness creeping into his mother's eyes. "I meant it when I said I still love you. I want you to be okay. That's why I asked Ruben to try to get you out early. I knew just trying to protect yourself shouldn't have gotten you put back in jail for so long." Nora smiled sadly at him

"While I appreciated that, it also made me feel a guilty," she admitted.

"Why?" he asked, puzzled by her words.

"Because the child I'd let down went out of his way to try and help me when I couldn't figure out how to do the same for him when he was growing up." Ricky sighed.

"If we're ever gonna get over all this you gotta stop beating yourself up over it, no pun intended." Nora nodded to let him know she knew he hadn't meant anything by his choice of words. "We just gotta take it one day at a time and be honest with each other as we go. Think we can manage that much?" Nora gave him a small smile.

"I'm willing to try." Ricky returned her smile.

"Me too." They stood up and hugged each other tightly.

"Wanna help me finish off the pizza?" Ricky asked when they separated. Nora smiled.

"Sure." They sat down and put more pizza on their plates.

"What are you doing for Thanksgiving?" Ricky asked around a mouthful of pizza. Nora swallowed the bite she'd just taken.

"Just hanging out at my apartment."

"When'd you get an apartment?" he asked conversationally.

"My sponsor helped me get it. The building's basically like a halfway house for ex-cons like me who were locked up for drug offenses. AA meetings are held in the basement and it's rent controlled so it's affordable. Plus it's on a bus line so I can get back and forth to work easily," she explained before taking another bite of her pizza. Ricky pondered something for a moment and then picked up his cellphone from the coffee table. He speed dialed a number and held it up to his ear.

"Hello, Ricky. What can I do for you?"

"Hi, Anne. I wanted to ask you something."

"What's that?"

"Would you mind if I invited someone to thanksgiving dinner?" he asked, turning to smile at his mother, who was looking at him with surprise written on her face. She shook her head to try and tell him he didn't have to do that.

"No. Is it anyone we know?"

"It's my birth mom. She didn't have any thanksgiving plans," he said, smiling at his mother who shook her head at him and went back to eating her pizza.

"Well of course she can come! There'll be plenty of food."

"Ok. Thanks, Anne."

"No problem. I look forward to meeting her."

"Ok. Bye."

"Bye, Ricky." He ended the call and smiled at his mother.

"Now you **do** have plans. If you give me your address I'll pick you up." Nora looked at him nervously.

"I'm not sure this is such a good idea," she said nervously. Ricky gave her a reassuring expression.

"It'll be fine. Besides. Amy's parents and sister have already met Bob so I'm sure they'll like you better. But I should warn you that Margaret and Shakur will be there too," he said apologetically. He saw her getting ready to make up an excuse not to come. "I know you said it brings up the past when I call her mom but think of it like this: John will be there and you can also get to know Amy too," Nora brightened up a little at that tidbit of information.

"I'd like that." Ricky smiled.

"Maybe you can even help Amy fill in John's family tree a little," he offered. Nora smiled brightly.

"This may just be the best Thanksgiving I've had in years."


	20. A Thankful Thanksgiving

Almost three weeks later, households across Los Angeles were filled with the smells of Thanksgiving dinner being cooked. Amy and Ashley were in the kitchen peeling potatoes while the boys were in the living room playing with George.

"Shouldn't they be here by now?" Ashley asked impatiently as she plopped a peeled potato into the waiting pot.

"They might be stuck in traffic," Anne replied, taking a pan of cornbread out of the oven and setting it on the counter. Several minutes later the doorbell rang and George answered it. On the porch stood Mimsy and Eugene.

"Come on in," he said with a smile as he took a step back. Eugene helped Mimsy remove her coat and then hung it on the nearby coat rack for her.

"You have a lovely home," Mimsy said politely. "Thank you for inviting me to your Thanksgiving dinner." George did his best to keep the sadness out of his voice and off his face as he replied.

"We're happy to have you. Would you like to join me in the living room?" he suggested, motioning towards the room in question. Mimsy took a sniff of the air.

"It smells awfully nice in here. Is there anything I can help with in the kitchen perhaps?"

"Well let's go see," George told her with a smile and then led the way to the kitchen. Amy and Ashley beamed when Mimsy's face appeared around the corner.

"Hello everyone," Mimsy said politely. "I was wondering if there was anything I could do to help?"

"Sure," Anne told her, a smile on her face. "How would you like to help me with the stuffing?" Mimsy nodded.

"I'd like that. You know, my daughter used to rave about my stuffing." Mimsy became thoughtful for a moment. "I haven't heard from her in a while though," she remarked as she got to work cutting up the pan of cornbread to crumble for the stuffing. Anne began to tear up and had to turn towards the stove quickly to compose herself. It hurt deeply that her mother didn't remember her. As far as Mimsy knew, Anne was simply that red haired woman who came to visit her often. Even though it hurt to have to remind her mother every time she visited with her what her name was, Anne was still grateful her mother was still with her, at least physically. While the ladies continued their meal preparations, George and Eugene retired to the living room. The TV was tuned to the Hallmark channel simply because George knew that, at least today, it would be featuring family-friendly programs and the likelihood the boys would pick up bad words accidentally was low. George and Eugene chatted and caught up while the boys played together near their toy bins.

At the Bowman residence Kathleen, Grace and Kathleen's mother were also busy with meal preparations. Tom had been banned from the kitchen for 'taste testing' all the food a little too frequently. Kathleen finally shooed him out and he was currently in the living room channel surfing. Grace had just finished mashing the cranberries for cranberry sauce when the phone rang. Grace wiped her hands and answered it.

"Bowman residence, Grace speaking," she said jovially.

"Hello, Gracie! Long time no see!"

"Grandma!?"

"Yes, sweetheart. How are you?"

"I'm good. How are you?"

"I'm still alive and I've got my health so I can't complain," she replied with a chuckle. "I just called to wish you all a happy thanksgiving. I know everyone's busy cooking and whatnot and I just wanted to call before things got **too** busy, here or there."

"Happy thanksgiving to you too, grandma. Did you wanna talk to anyone else?"

"Sure!"

"Ok. Hang on." Grace removed the phone from her ear and held it out towards her mother, who was wiping her hands on a dish towel and heading over to the phone. Once she took it from Grace she headed into the living room to let her brother know their dad's mom was on the phone.

"Hello, Tammie," Kathleen said with a smile. "How are you?"

"I'm fine, Kathleen. How are you doing?"

"We're doing okay," she said honestly.

"Good. Good. I told Grace I just wanted to call and say happy thanksgiving before cooking and all that got too hectic here and at your house."

"Thanks, Tammie. And happy thanksgiving to you too." Kathleen turned her head to look over her shoulder when she heard two sets of footprints headed her way. "Here's Tom," Kathleen said before handing the phone to Tom.

"Hi gwandma," he said happily. "How are you doing?" Tammie chuckled.

"I'm good, Tom. I just called to say happy thanksgiving sweetie."

"Happy thanksgiving, gwandma."

"Thank you. Well tell everyone I love them and give the girls a hug and a kiss from me." Tom saluted even though she couldn't see him.

"Will do," he promised.

"I love you, sweetie."

"Love you too, gwandma." Tom ended the call and put the handset back in its charger. He then walked over to Grace and gave her a sideways bear hug, lifting her off the ground slightly. Grace giggled.

"Tom! What're you doing?" Tom set her back down and gave her cheek a slobbery kiss. "Ewww, Tom. Really?" As Grace wiped the slobber off her cheek Tom went over to his mother and did the same. Kathleen laughed.

"What was that for, Tom?" she asked with amusement.

"Gwandma told me to," he replied with a small smile. Grace snorted.

"I'm pretty sure she didn't say to give us **slobbery** kisses." Tom winked at her.

"She just said a kiss." He lifted his right pointer finger and waved it back and forth with a twinkle in his eye. "She didn't say what type of kiss," he said, quickly scampering back to the living room before Grace could scold him. Kathleen's mother laughed.

"That boy's got spunk." The ladies laughed and then returned their attentions to their meal preparations.

At the Treacy household, Jason was hiding in his room. Thanksgiving had felt awkward to him ever since his mom had remarried. Even though he got along great with his stepdad and was still close to his dad, having them both under the same roof for the better part of the day was always awkward. Lauren, on the other hand, was helping her mom in the kitchen and anxiously waiting for her dad to arrive. Like Jason, she got along well with her stepdad but it was always nice when she could spend time with both her parents, even if she knew that required them both to play nice and tiptoe around each other. Sure it felt a little awkward but at least they were all together.

Five hours away in Sacramento, Madison was hiding out in the hall closet. Her dad had this unspoken agreement with his family where he'd spend every other thanksgiving and Christmas with them. Last thanksgiving it had been just the three of them at home but this year they were 'supposed' to spend it with the rest of her dad's family and have a mini reunion. There were only three things she hated about the situation. One, her dad's aunt Henrietta liked to give hugs, tight ones, and she was a busty woman who always seemed to smell like she'd just taken come from a flower shop. The smell was overwhelming and Madison would rather not have her face pressed tightly against the woman's cleavage. Two, her cousin Samantha was a spoiled brat who enjoyed picking on Madison for some reason and always managed to get away with it somehow. It was a gift Madison would rather be bestowed on any human being **except** her cousin. Three, her uncle Tommy, who was a confirmed bachelor, still thought Madison was four and always called her his 'wittle Maddie-waddie', the nickname he'd chosen for her years ago, and it drove her nuts. The door swung open and Madison held her breath. A hand pushed the coats and jackets to one side and Madison found herself face to face with her dad. He was looking at her sympathetically and she scowled back.

"I'm not coming out until dinner time," she said resolutely. "Or unless I have to pee," she added as an afterthought. Her dad sighed.

"Honey, I know there are a couple of people here who irritate you but no family's perfect. And at the end of the day they all love you." Madison gave him a disbelieving look.

"If Samantha loves me I'd hate to see how she treats people she hates," she replied, crossing her arms and pouting. Her dad couldn't help himself and he laughed, causing Madison to glare at him.

"Sorry, honey. It's just that every time you make that face you look the same. Like my sweet, stubborn baby girl," he explained, leaning forward to kiss her forehead. Madison sighed. "Come on, sweetie. It's only for one day."

"Alright fine," she said grumpily, walking out of the closet. Her dad closed it and followed her into the living room where a small group of people were watching TV and they both found empty seats. Madison began chatting with some of her other cousins that were close to her age and began to feel less grumpy.

Back in LA, Nora was nervously pacing near her front door. She was used to people judging her once they found out about her past but in a little while she wasn't about to meet just anybody. She was about to meet the family of her grandson's mother. And they could influence Amy to keep John away from her. She wrung her hands as she paced and was so lost in thinking about what-ifs that she jumped when her doorbell rang. She quickly opened it and found Ricky standing there. He took one look at the fear in her eyes and gave her a smile.

"Just relax. It's just dinner." Nora nodded and quickly grabbed her purse so they could go. Ricky waited while she locked her door and then they headed downstairs to his car.

"So who all will I be meeting today?" Nora asked once they were in the car.

"Amy, of course," he told her as he pulled out into traffic. "Her parents George and Anne will be there along with her sister Ashley and her little brother Robbie. Her grandmothers, Penny and Mimsy will be there along with Mimsy's husband Eugene."

"One of her grandmother's names is Mimsy?" Nora asked curiously.

"No. I don't actually know her name; I've never asked. All I know is she didn't like the term grandma so she decided she wanted her grandkids to call her Mimsy."

"I see. Do they call their grandpas anything unique?" she asked conversationally. Ricky shook his head.

"George's dad wasn't around much and Amy never mentioned him so I only assume she's never met him. As for Eugene, he's Anne's stepdad. He and Mimsy got married a few months ago. Amy and Ashley never met Anne's dad because he died before they were born."

"Anyone else?'

"Just Margaret and Shakur." They finished the drive in silence and Nora got butterflies in her stomach when Ricky pulled up at the curb in front of the house. They had arrived at the same time as Margaret and Shakur and Margaret waved with a smile when she saw them. Nora glanced at the front door, took a deep breath and got out to make her way towards it. When Ricky rang it, George opened the door. He smiled at everyone and stepped back so they could enter.

"John, come see who's here," George called out. John came scampering towards his grandfather and smiled brightly when he spotted Ricky.

"Daddy!" he exclaimed, heading towards Ricky with his arms out, indicating he wanted to be picked up. Ricky smiled back and picked John up when he reached him.

"Hey, buddy. Whatcha been up to?"

"Playin' wit Wobbie," he answered, pointing towards the living room.

"You must be Nora," George said, holding out his hand. Nora was a little surprised that George had addressed her so politely but shook his hand anyway. "Well come on in and I'll introduce you to everybody."

"John, do you have to go potty?" Amy called out as she made her way from the kitchen towards the living room.

"No," he replied, squirming in Ricky's arms so he could get down and go play. When she spotted Ricky she smiled. She also noticed a woman she'd never met before standing with them and headed towards the front door.

"Hi. You must be Nora," she said politely. Nora nodded as Anne, Ashley and Mimsy made their way towards the front door to greet their guest. Ricky took the lead and introduced everyone.

"Mom, this is Amy, who you probably recognize from the pictures. This is her mom, Anne, her sister, Ashley, her dad, George, Mimsy, and Eugene," he explained, pointing to each person in turn. He took several steps forward so he could see into the living room. "And the little guy playing with John is Robbie." Robbie looked up when he heard his name but went back to focusing on his toys a moment later. The doorbell rang and George maneuvered around his guest to answer it and everyone took the hint and moved further into the house.

"Hi, mom," George said when he answered the door, giving her a kiss on the cheek as she was carrying a casserole dish.

"Hey, son," she said, heading into the house. She paused when she noticed several strangers removing their coats and hanging them up in the hall closet. "Well hello," she said politely. George helped her out of her coat as he made the introductions.

"So this is Ricky, his mom Nora, his foster parents Margaret and Shakur, Mimsy, who you probably remember, and her husband Eugene," he explained, also pointing to each person in turn as Ricky had done.

"Husband?" Mimsy asked curiously, looking at Eugene. "He's not my husband. My Robert died some time ago," she informed everyone, beginning to tear up at the memory of losing her first husband. Eugene was quick to reassure her.

"He didn't mean husband, Mimsy, he just misspoke. He meant that I'm just a good friend," he explained with a smile. The confusion left Mimsy's face.

"Oh." Penny decided to break the awkward tension that resulted from George's slip up and Mimsy's Alzheimer's. "Where's my great grandson?" she asked, looking around. When she spotted him in the living room she handed the casserole dish to George without a word and headed over to John. "Well hello again my little cherub," she said with a smile. John smiled back but Robbie became alarmed. He pushed himself up quickly and tried to run towards Anne. Unfortunately he tripped over his toy truck in front of him and fell, promptly bursting into tears once the pain registered. He got up and ran to his mother with his arms out. Anne headed towards him quickly and knelt down a few feet in front of him with her arms open. She wrapped her arms around him when he reached her and hugged him tightly.

"It's okay, Robbie," she assured him, kissing his cheek. She headed towards the kitchen. "Let's go get your boo-boo buddy," she said in a soothing voice. Nora looked at Ricky with confusion as they made their way into the living room.

"What the heck's a boo-boo buddy?" she asked as they sat down on the loveseat.

"It's an icepack for little kids. They come in all sorts of shapes and you just toss 'em in the freezer. Supposedly it helps the kid calm down faster since it's not just an ice pack but their own personal little buddy." John looked at Ricky when he heard the word 'buddy' but returned to playing with his great grandmother when he realized his father wasn't actually speaking to him. Penny gave the top of John's head a kiss and then stood up to head to the kitchen and help out. Nora felt outta place just hanging with the boys so she followed Penny.

Across town at the Boykewich household, the Boykewich and Rodriquez families were relaxing as the kitchen staff prepared their meal. Cindy, Adrian and Betty were in the living room chatting and listening to more than watching the Hallmark Channel while Leo, Ben and Ruben where in the den chatting and watching sports.

"So is the nursery all set up yet?" Betty asked Adrian, taking a sip of her apple cider. Adrian shook her head.

"Almost. My dad said he'd put the changing table together later today and then all we'll have to do is what for her arrival," Adrian told her with a smile, looking down at her belly and rubbing her hand across it.

"Oh I can't wait," Betty said with a smile. "Babies are just so amazing. Not to mention down right adorable." Cindy smiled and nodded. In the den the boys were watching a football game but it had just gone to commercial.

"Hey Ben, what'd Adrian think of the nursery?" Ben looked at his father with confusion.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean what did Adrian think of all the work you've done on it since the last time she was over to see it?" realization dawned on Ben.

"Right!" He quickly got up and headed towards the living room to find Adrian. "Adrian, I wanna show you something."

"Oh?" She made a move to get up from the couch and he quickly rushed over to help her up. She rewarded him with a smile. "Thanks, Benny. So what'd you wanna show me?" Ben turned to Cindy.

"Actually, you can come too if you'd like," he said to Cindy before turning back towards Adrian. "I wanted to show you all the work I've done on the nursery since you saw it last." Adrian's eyes brightened with excitement and Ben smiled at the happiness in her eyes. He took her hand and led the way to the room that had been designated as their daughter's nursery. When they reached the door Ben turned towards Adrian and Cindy. "Close your eyes please." They did so and he opened the door. He led Adrian inside first. "Wait here," he told her before heading to the door to lead Cindy inside as well. Once Cindy was standing next to Adrian Ben stepped to the side. "Ok. Open." They did so and gasped, Adrian beginning to tear up.

"Oh Ben it's perfect!" Adrian exclaimed. The walls had been painted the pale yellow she and Ben had agreed on, wanting their daughter to have similar nurseries at both of their houses. On the wall to the left of the door small white cubbies had been mounted, each filled with baby story books, and a white dresser was beneath them. Adrian opened the drawers and saw that there were adorable little baby clothes in each, most of them containing some shade of pink. Next to the dresser was the closet. There were blankets folded neatly on the upper shelf and a little hanging organizer containing little pairs of shoes for their daughter as well as even more clothes and a few jackets hanging up. Next to the closet in the corner was a rocking chair, positioned there as it was close to the window. The window had pink drapes with sheer white panels in the middle, and a child lock on the window latch. Just to the right of the window was a toy bin, already filled with infant and toddler toys. Adrian smiled when she noticed a child lock on it as well. They wouldn't want their daughter to open it and accidentally smash her fingers. A white crib was against the wall to the right of window and next to it was a white changing table, fully stocked with everything needed to change their daughter's diapers, including a diaper genie. Next to the door was a little white shelf with hooks for hanging blankets, her diaper bag, and what not. The rug was a soft cream color and plush but not too thick; ideal for an infant to play on. Adrian turned towards Ben with a smile and waddled over to him to give him a hug. "It's just perfect." Cindy looked around and also smiled tearfully. It was a beautiful nursery and she knew her granddaughter would be safe and happy when she was in it.

Several hours ticked by as families chatted, snacked, cooked and just relaxed, waiting for dinner time to inch closer. When it arrived, everyone helped set the table and bring the food to it. The Coopersteins all sat down and got ready to dig in. Once everyone had served themselves, everyone bowed their head and crossed themselves, waiting for their patriarch to say grace.

"Lord," he began. "We come to you now to give thanks for this meal and the hands that have prepared it. We ask that you bless it to nourish our bodies and that this time together as a family will nourish our souls. Amen." There was a chorus of amens from the people around the table and then the air was filled with the sounds of conversation, chewing and clanking silverware. At the Bowman residence they were bowing their heads as well, Tom leading the prayer.

"God, we tank you for dis food and dat our udder gwandma could be here wit us today. Pwease keep watching over us and help us not lose our faith when tings get hard. And pwese heal gwandma's heart so we can all spend a wittle more time getting to know her better. Amen." Kathleen gave Tom a watery smile and then turned her head to smile at her mother. Knowing she might not have much time left with her mother made that particular Thanksgiving seem so much more special. At the Boykewich household, they were just sitting down to eat. Leo poured the adults each a glass of wine and then poured sparkling grape juice for Ben and Adrian. He lifted his glass.

"A toast." Everyone raised their glasses. "Today we celebrate family. Regardless of the curve balls we get thrown in life, let's never forget that at the end of the day we can always be thankful for love and our families. To family," he said lifting his glass a little higher.

"To family," everyone echoed before taking a sip of their beverage.

"Let's dig in," Leo said with a smile, beginning to carve the turkey as everyone else began passing around the side dishes. At the Juergens home, their dinner table quickly filled up. George had never been happier at that moment that he'd convinced Anne they needed a dining table that could be expanded for when company came over. While their table sat the four of them comfortably on a regular basis, tonight its extendable middle sections had been added so it could seat twelve. George sat in his usual spot at one end and Robbie was in his highchair to George's left. Next to Robbie sat Anne, Eugene, Mimsy, Ashley and Amy. To Amy's left sat John in his own high chair and Ricky sat at the other end of the table. To his left sat Nora, Margaret and Shakur. There was an empty seat next to Shakur and Penny sat one seat over at George's right.

"Okay people. You know the drill," he said cheekily. "I'll go first. I'm thankful that my family and I have rediscovered how to be a functional family." George turned to Robbie. "Robster, what are you thankful for?" George asked, not really expecting an answer. Robbie pointed to the food on the table.

"Food." Everyone chuckled at his response.

"I'm thankful that Mimsy is here with us today," Anne said with a smile, leaning forward so she could smile at her mother. Mimsy smiled back at her and everyone else shared smiles with each other, each understanding how bittersweet it was for Anne to spend time with her mother.

"I'm thankful that you've all welcomed me in like family, even though I'm joining the party a little late," Eugene said with a grin, causing the Juergens family to chuckle.

"I'm thankful I got to spend today with such wonderful people," Mimsy said sincerely, smiling at everyone as she glanced around the table.

"I'm thankful there are two toddlers in the house to help keep us on our toes," Ashley said with a smirk.

"Toes!" John exclaimed, lifting his legs from his high chair's footrest and wiggling his sock covered feet happily, causing everyone to laugh at his merriment.

"I'm thankful for band camp," Amy said with a smile before turning towards Ricky. "Because it gave us John and in the end it helped me and Ricky figure out who we are and wanna be." Ricky gave her a tender smile and reached over to hold her hand. Amy turned to look at John as her father had done. "John, what are you thankful for?" John, like his uncle, pointed toward the table.

"Took-key," he said, pointed at the bird he knew he was about to eat. Everyone chuckled and then Ricky spoke.

"I'm grateful for my family." He turned to face Nora. "Biological." He looked at his foster parents. "Foster." He looked at the Juergens family with another smile. "And extended." He caught George's eye and George gave him a head nod. Nora had to fight back tears at the knowledge her son was actually thankful for her. They'd made progress with small conversations here and there over the past couple of weeks but she knew they still had a ways to go.

"Well," Nora began. "I'm thankful on a daily basis for three things. But," she paused to look at the Juergens family. "Today I'm thankful for new friends and that my son has become a wonderful young man and father," she said with a watery smile as she turned her head to look at Ricky. He smiled back and placed his hand over hers where it was resting on the table.

"I'm thankful that we've all become a family," Margaret said, looking around the table at everyone with a smile.

"And I'm thankful for love, which I can **definitely** feel a lot of in this room right now," Shakur stated with a smile of his own. Penny chuckled.

"I'm thankful that I got to spend the day with my great grandson." She chuckled. "It feels so weird saying that but it's also a blessing that I'm alive to see the next generation of my family," she said, smiling down the table towards John, who was anxiously looking at the food on the table.

"Mommy, want tatoes," John said to Amy, pointing towards the bowl of mashed potatoes near him. Everyone laughed.

"And on that note," George said a little loudly, to be heard over the laughter. "Let's dig in."

At the Treacy household the atmosphere was a little more civil than happy. They had learned over the years that going around the table saying what they were all thankful for often made the atmosphere awkward since someone always brought up family and they all knew the divorce is still a sore subject for their dad. Instead of listing their thanks or having a toast, and since they weren't very religiously minded, they simply sat down and began passing the various dishes around and serving themselves. Once everyone had served themselves what they wanted, the Tracy family simply got to work eating their meal and chatting politely. Even though Thanksgiving wasn't the most cheerful family holiday for Lauren, she still enjoyed it because for her, having both of her parents around was still important to her so she ate and enjoyed her meal with a small smile on her face and thanksgiving in her heart.


	21. College Is Calling

Ricky was eating breakfast when his phone rang. He didn't recognize the number but decided to answer anyway.

"Hello?"

"Hi. Is this Ricky Underwood?"

"Yeah. Who is this?"

"It's Mrs. O'Malley, the school counselor."

"Ok. Am I in trouble for something?" he asked cautiously.

"Oh, no. it's nothing like that. I'd just like to talk to you this morning. Are you able to come in before school? If not I can pull you out of class during first period."

"Yeah, I can come in. What's this about?"

"It might be easier to explain once you get here."

"Okay. I'll be there in a bit." Ricky quickly finished his meal and placed his dishes in the sink, running some water over them so they wouldn't be so hard to scrub later that evening. He drove straight to the school and headed to the counselor's office, not sure of what he was walking into. He knocked on the open door and she looked up, smiling when she saw him.

"Hello, Ricky," she greeted him as he took a seat.

"Hi. So what's this all about?" She opened the filing cabinet of her desk and rifled through it for a moment before pulling out his file. She laid it on her desk and opened it, removing a several pieces of paper and handing them to him."

"I wanted to let you know that your first choice for colleges wants to interview you."

"Because?"

"Because this particular college requires an interview to decide if you're a good fit for the school, but they don't ask for an interview unless they're **already** considering accepting you."

"Ok. So what happens next?" She opened another folder that was on her desk and pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to him.

"Here's a list of questions you might be asked as well as some questions you may wanna ask them during the interview." Ricky briefly looked over the paper.

"So how do I set up an interview?" She pointed to the papers she had handed him first.

"All the information's on the first sheet." Ricky looked back at the first sheet he'd been handed and began reading it more closely. "Let me know if you have any questions," she told him with a smile. Ricky glanced back up at her and nodded and then got up to leave the office. He quickly made his way to his locker to get his things for the first half of the day.

Downstairs Adrian had just waddled into the hallway closest to her locker, frowning slightly. Jack was taking a drink from the water fountain and when he stood up he noticed the frown on her face and walked over.

"Hey, Adrian. What's wrong?"

"Hey, Jack. I got the results of my SAT test and they weren't as high as I would've liked."

"Sorry to hear that," he said sincerely. Adrian smiled at him.

"Thanks. It's still high enough that I can get into most in-state colleges, I just personally would've liked it to be higher." In another hallway Alice, Henry and Ben were talking about their PSAT results.

"I'm gonna have to take another prep course," Henry said dejectedly as they stopped at their lockers. "My history and math scores were borderline awful," he said with disgust as he opened his locker door more forcefully than necessary. Alice gave him a sympathetic look.

"I can help tutor you in history," she offered.

"And I can help you with the math," Ben offered. Ben and Alice's scores had been pretty excellent, Alice's scores almost perfect. They both knew they'd do well on the SATs next fall and were determined to make sure Henry did too. He gave them both a grateful smile.

"Thanks you guys." In another hallway Amy was just finishing up at her locker when Ricky spotted her.

"So I've got some news," he informed her as he came to a stop beside her. Amy flipped her hair over her shoulder and looked at him curiously.

"What's that?" Ricky pulled the information sheet Mrs. O'Malley had given him out of his binder and handed it to her. Amy quickly read it and her face lit up with a smile.

"Oh, Ricky, that's great! I'm so proud of you!" She kissed him quickly and then glanced back at the sheet as he smiled back at her. "And so early too!" They began walking towards the band room.

"Yeah. So I've got an interview with them after school today. I've already called Bunny and let her know what's going on so afterwards I can come over and tell you all about it." Amy smiled up at him.

"Sounds good," she told him, handing him back the piece of paper.

Band class was uneventful so Amy's mind had time to wander. She began to think about what it would be like next year when Ricky was away at college and she was still in high school. Unfortunately, by lunchtime Amy had spent her entire morning thinking about it and she'd come to a realization she didn't know how to handle: Ricky wouldn't be there. As they sat down for lunch Ricky knew right away something was off with Amy. However, the storm in her eyes also told him she wasn't ready to talk about it so he avoided the topic of college as they chatted with their friends and ate their meals. Ricky simply figured he'd bring it up when he saw her later that night. After school he went home, dressed up for his interview and then headed up the college for his interview.

When he reached the campus he was pretty impressed by it. It felt majestic and homey all at the same time. He saw students milling around, studying, talking with friends and simply enjoying themselves. _So this is what college is gonna be like_ he mused as he arrived at the administration office, the directions Mrs. O'Malley had given him being very easy to follow. He told the worker at the front desk his name and appointment time and had a seat in the waiting area.

Back at the nursery, Amy's mind thankfully got a break from trying to process the fact the man she loved wouldn't be around as much next year because she was busy helping Jennifer and Naomi corral their small brood of toddler, several of whom, like John, had recently started potty training. And this afternoon there had been a couple of 'accidents'. By the time Amy's shift ended she felt emotionally drained. She buckled John in and then sighed wearily as she climbed into the driver's seat and buckled herself in. If it weren't for John happily talking/babbling to himself and slowly improving her mood, Amy would've felt dead on her feet by the time she arrived home. When she walked in the kitchen door, Anne could see immediately that Amy had had a long day and greeted her with a soft smile.

"Hi, sweetheart."

"Hey," Amy replied tiredly. She carried John and their bags upstairs. She deposited her book bag and purse in her room and took John's diaper bag into his. She set him down to play while she repacked it for tomorrow, taking out his snack containers and sippie cup so she could take them to the kitchen and refill them. "Come on, John," she said, holding out her hand and waiting for him to take it. John quickly scampered over to his mother and took her hand and together they walked back downstairs. Amy set the empty containers and cup on the counter and then she and John walked into the living room so he could play for a bit and she could simply relax on the couch. As she watched her son play and attempted to unwind, her mind turned back to what her life would be like next year. Would John wonder why daddy wasn't around so much? What would happen on weekends? Would she only get to see him then and during holiday breaks? She realized they'd never been truly apart for more than four weeks, and even then Ricky had come to visit her for a weekend. Would their relationship change for the worse if they stayed separated too long? Amy heard her mother call the family for dinner and she held John's hand as they walked into the dining room. Amy went through dinner like a zombie, only speaking when spoken to.

"Are you alright, Ames?" her dad finally asked once they were halfway through their meal. Amy gave him a sad, tired smile.

"Yeah. I just got a lot on my mind," she assured him. George let it drop but looked at Anne, letting her know he wasn't fully convinced by their daughter's answer. Amy remained in zombie mode as she helped clear the table and then got John ready for bed. Thankfully John was still young enough that he didn't pick up on the fact his mother was a little off tonight. Once John was dressed for bed and his teeth had been brushed, Amy took him into her room and set him on the floor to play while she unloaded her backpack. There was a knock at her door. "Come in." She looked up and found Ashley entering her room. She flopped onto Amy's bed and gave her a level look.

"What's with you tonight?" Amy sighed.

"I've just…"

"Got a lot on your mind. I know. Care to share?" Amy looked at her sister tearfully. "What's going on, Amy?" Ashley asked with concern.

"Ricky got an interview with his top college choice." Ashley's brows furrowed with confusion.

"Isn't that a **good** thing?" Amy nodded. "Then what's with the water works?" Amy wiped her cheeks, not realizing her tears had begun to fall.

"He won't be here next year, Ash. And I'm gonna miss him," she admitted, her voice cracking. Ashley scooted closer to her sister and gave her a hug.

"It's not like he's moving to another state or country though right? You'll still see him and there's always Skype, and Facetime, video chat, cellphones, email…" Ashley let her voice trail off and Amy chuckled.

"I know there's still ways for us to talk and see each other," Amy acknowledged. "But it won't be quite the same." Amy stared down at her lap and Ashley observed her quietly.

"Something tells me there's more to it than that." Amy nodded. "And…" Ashley pressed.

"I've been thinking about what it'll be like all day and I feel kinda guilty," she admitted, biting her lip nervously and wringing her hands.

"For thinking about the future? I'm pretty sure that's not a crime. Not yet anyway."

"What I mean is I thought about it and the more I thought about it the more I felt like I was being left behind and…and…part of my doesn't want him to go and I feel guilty about it because I also want him to go to college and wanting him to stay just seems and sounds so selfish," she finished in a rush.

"It's not selfish," Ricky said from her doorway, causing Amy and Ashley to look up at him with surprise.

"Daddy!" John cheered, getting up and running towards his father. Ricky smiled down at him and picked him up, kissing his cheek.

"Hey, John." Ashley looked at Amy and then at Ricky. She got up from the bed and walked over to Ricky, holding her arms out towards her nephew.

"Come on rug rat. Mommy and daddy need to talk." John leaned over towards Ashley and Ricky transferred him to her arms. She walked past Ricky and shut the door behind her. Amy broke eye contact and looked at her lap, hastily wiping her wet cheeks as Ricky sat next to her. He placed a bouquet of roses next to her and heard her gasp slightly. She looked up at him questioningly and he gave her a gentle smile, handing her the flowers. She took them and smelled them.

"Thank you," she said, blushing slightly. "They're beautiful." Ricky used the thumb and forefinger of his right hand to turn her chin towards him.

"Just like you." He leaned in and kissed her. Amy sighed into the kiss before kissing him back. When he pulled back she looked down at the bouquet in her hands.

"So I guess the interview went well?" Ricky nodded.

"Yeah."

"Good." They were silent for a moment. "How much of that did you hear?" she asked, nervously peeking at him from beneath her eyelashes.

"That you feel guilty for wanting me to be here with you."

"Ricky…"

"You don't have to explain, Amy. Or apologize. It's normal. The same way I was so eager to come see you in New York." He gently grabbed her chin again so she'd look at him. "And it was just one interview, Amy," he assured her with a smile. "It's not the only in-state school I've applied to and nothing's been decided yet. And if I end up going to that school, I'd commute." Surprise washed over Amy's face at his admission.

"Ricky, it's too far to commute every day. It only makes **sense** for you to live in a dorm and only come home on weekends or for holidays," she attempted to reason with him. Ricky shook his head.

"Amy, college or no college I have no intention of being separated from you or John, for any reason. We'll figure this out."

"We?" she asked, looking at him with awe in her eyes. He smiled back at her and nodded.

"We." They shared another kiss and when they broke apart this time Amy scooted closer to him and leaned her head on his shoulder. He placed his arm around her waist and kissed her temple.

Now he knew what had been bugging Amy all day at school today. And knowing the future, namely next year, was unnerving her unsettled him a little. He wanted to do something to ease her mind about the whole situation but he wasn't sure what to do. Instead they put John to bed together and then she walked him to the front door. He kissed her goodnight and told her he'd see her tomorrow. When Amy shut the door she found her mother standing a few feet behind her.

"So everything alright now?" Anne asked with concern. Amy walked over to her mother and hugged her. Anne hugged her back and waited for Amy to explain.

"I don't know how to deal with this, mom," she said sadly.

"Deal with what?" Anne said as she pulled back slightly and led them into the living room to the couch.

"Ricky had an interview with one of the colleges he applied to." Anne wanted to say 'that's great' but realized there must be more to the story if Amy was so distraught about it. "It's in-state but it's too far for him to commute every day, even though he said he wanted to so he could still be with me an John."

"And you're worried your relationship won't survive being a long distance one?" Amy shook her head.

"No, it's not that." She began to tear up and her voice wavered as she continued speaking. "I'm just gonna miss him so much. The longest we've been apart is the four weeks I was in New York but we weren't in love back then and he came to visit me halfway through the program. Everything's so different now." Amy paused to sniffle. "He said he's applied to other schools that're closer but what if he ends up at **this** one? Will John miss having his daddy around so much? Will Ricky get burnt out driving back and forth so much? How much time are we gonna have to spend together if he's so far away? You can't exactly make out with your boyfriend during a video chat." Anne pulled Amy into a hug and Amy cried into her mother's shoulder. "He's not eben gone yet and I mid him," Amy mumbled into her mother's shirt. Anne hugged her a little tighter and rubbed her shoulder.

"Amy, nothing's set in stone yet. He said he's applied to other colleges so all you can do is wait. And in the meantime just make the most of the time you've still got with him," Anne told her in a soothing voice. Amy nodded but continued crying for several minutes.

Amy slept fitfully that night, her mind continually giving her dreams about what her life might be like without Ricky around and each one was sad enough to make her wake up, only to find her pillow wet from her tears. Ricky wasn't having much luck getting a sound sleep either, his mind running through ways to reassure Amy that they were gonna be okay the rest of this year and next year.

The next day at school Ricky waited for Amy at her locker. When she walked into the hallway and saw him standing there, her heart melted. She still didn't quite understand how he'd come to mean so much to her in such a short period of time but she was determined to at least try and take her mother's advice. When she reached her locker she kissed him.

"Hey."

"Hey," she replied back quietly.

"I don't know what to do here, Amy." She tilted her head and looked at him curiously.

"About what?" he tucked her hair behind her right ear.

"About you."

"Me?" she asked nervously. He smirked and snaked an arm around her waist to pull her closer to him.

"You know I love you right?" Amy nodded. "And because of that I wanna make me being at college, any college, okay for you." Amy gave him an appreciative smile.

"You don't have to. I talked to my mom last night and she said that since nothing's set in stone yet, all I can do is wait and enjoy the time I've still got with you." Ricky leaned in so he could whisper in her ear.

"We've got forever, remember?" Amy shuddered and nodded, as she did in **deed** remember that they had already, briefly, discussed living together and marriage. Ricky stood up straight and looked her in the eye. "Amy, I need you to be okay and I promise I'll find a way to do that." Amy took a deep breath and let it out slowly as she searched his eyes. After a moment of searching she nodded. She saw in his eyes that he was determined to do this for her and there was nothing she could do to talk him out of it. In another hallway Ben found Adrian at her locker adjusting her dress with a frown.

"What's wrong?" he asked worriedly. Adrian glanced at him sideways for a moment before returning her focus to her dress.

"I've just been so uncomfortable lately," she admitted, exhaling a frustrated breath. Ben felt a momentary flash of guilt.

"Is there anything I can do?" Adrian looked at him and saw the sincerity on his face and it made her laugh.

"Sorry, Ben. I know you were serious but really there's nothing you can do to help me with this." She shifted around in her dress once more and then shut her locker with a sigh. "I wonder if Amy ever felt like this." Suddenly Ben had a brilliant idea.

"I'll be right back," he said quickly, racing down the mini maze of hallways towards Amy's locker. Ben spotted her and Ricky near her locker and he headed straight for them, calling out as he did so. "Amy!" Amy looked in his direction at the sound of her name and lifted her eyebrows in confusion when she saw Ben racing down the hallway towards her. Several other students looked at him curiously as he skidded to a stop in front of her and Ricky, having to put his arms out to steady himself as his sudden stop had almost made him lose his balance. "I gotta. Ask you. Something," he managed to get out between breaths, bending over to rest his hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath.

"What's up, Ben?" she asked him curiously. He lifted his left pointer finger to let her know he needed a minute. She and Ricky waited for several moments before he spoke again.

"So Adrian just told me she's felt really uncomfortable lately and she wondered if you ever felt like that. I know you two don't' really talk right now so I figured I'd ask you about it and see if you have any advice I could give her," he explained in a rush, still a little winded from his impromptu sprint up and down the hallways. Amy gave Ben a sympathetic look.

"Where is she?" Amy asked. Ben pointed behind him, not realizing that though he was intending to indicate Adrian was several hallways over, he was currently pointing at the wall behind him.

"At her locker," he huffed out.

"Let's go." Amy gave Ricky a look to let him know she'd be okay and didn't need him to go with her. Ricky nodded and headed towards the band room instead. Ben led the way to Adrian's locker and Adrian looked surprised to see Amy willingly approaching her. "Hi, Adrian," Amy said politely when she came to a stop in front of her.

"Hi," Adrian said a little surprised, adjusting her dress over her stomach once again. "Ben told me you've been feeling uncomfortable lately." Adrian nodded. "He wondered if I had any advice I could give you and basically there's only three things you can do."

"What's that," Adrian asked eagerly, anxious to know how to stop feeling like she was wearing someone else's skin.

"First, drink more liquid. It helps keep your skin hydrated so it doesn't feel so tight and weird." Adrian nodded dutifully. "Second, make sure you apply lotion when your skin feels dry. It also helps with that 'this isn't really my skin' feeling. And finally make sure your clothes fit you but they're still loose so you can move around in them. Anything that feels tight or formfitting anywhere should be avoided right now." Adrian continued nodding as Amy shifted the books in her arms. "Your body's getting ready to pop out a baby so it's going through some additional changes that only happen towards the end of your pregnancy. That's why you feel so uncomfortable right now," Amy explained with a sympathetic smile.

"Okay. I get that. But what about at night? It's hard to find a comfortable position," she explained wearily. Ben noticed suddenly that Adrian did in deed look a little more tired than usual.

"That's different for every woman," Amy explained. "While lying on your back is typically uncomfortable for most women at this point in their pregnancy, you just have to experiment to find what feels most comfortable for you. You can try sleeping on your side, propped upright with pillows, or with a body pillow to help cushion your entire side," Amy suggested with a shrug. "It's really just trial and error at this point." Adrian nodded with a sigh. "There's really no one answer," Amy said empathetically.

"Thanks, Amy. I really appreciate this," Adrian told her sincerely. Amy nodded and gave her a small smile.

"No problem." She turned and headed towards the band room. Adrian turned towards Ben and pulled him close so she could kiss his cheek.

"Thanks, Benny," she said with a smile. Ben smiled back.

"Glad I could help." In another hallway Jack, Jesse and Jason were walking and having a discussion.

"But our game's in three days!" Jack said indignantly. "You know every practice counts at this point!" Jason narrowed his eyes at him.

"I know that, Pappas. I also know that I'm going to college after high school and interviews are part of that. Besides, coach knows and okayed it so relax!"

"Why are you doing interviews now?" Jesse asked curiously. "You don't have to make a decision 'til the spring. Why not just wait 'til football season's over?" he suggested. Jason shook his head.

"No way. It's got a good premed program that's competitive. They start interviewing early and I made the cut so I'm going for it," he explained to his teammates.

"Wait, so you're not going for an athletic scholarship?" Jesse asked him. Again Jason shook his head.

"I love playing football, don't get me wrong. But I'm also smart enough to know it's not gonna be my career so I don't have to bank on it," Jason explained.

"Well I do," Jack said with a sigh. "Thankfully most athletic scholarship offers don't come 'til the end of a sport's season so I've still got the rest of the year to get my grades up," he said hopefully. Jason smirked at him.

"With no girlfriend to distract you that oughta be a piece of cake for you," he said teasingly, causing Jack to glare at him.

"Oh leave him alone," Jesse said, coming to Jack's defense. "You don't have a girlfriend right now either," he pointed out.

"Touché," Jason said just as the warning bell sounded.

At lunch Ben spotted Adrian sitting at a shaded table with Grace, Grant and Alice, Adrian adjusting her dress once more. He and Henry made their way to the table and sat down. Adrian huffed.

"Maybe you should ask Dr. Atavi for some more suggestions at our appointment this afternoon," Ben suggested.

"Suggestions about what?" Henry asked innocently as he began peeling his orange.

"How to feel more comfortable in my own skin," Adrian answered, opening her bottle of water and chugging half of it.

"Oh," Henry replied, suddenly losing interest in the conversation.

"So how much longer?" Grant asked, picking up his chicken sandwich and taking a bite.

"Three more weeks," Adrian replied with a little smile. Across the grounds at another shaded table Madison and Lauren were discussing their history project.

"So how about I come over to your place after school and we work on it?" Madison suggested. Lauren shook her head.

"No. I need a break from the house. Jason's been getting all worked up about this college interview he's got and he keeps asking me to pretend to be one of the interviewers and ask him random questions about himself." Jesse chuckled. "It's both annoying and ridiculous."

"Well better to be over prepared than under, right?" Justin offered, taking a bite of his hoagie sandwich. Lauren glared at him briefly before stabbing her piece of meatloaf like it had insulted her.

"**That** I could understand but having to ask your brother questions about himself when you already know the answer and **then** having to listen to him respond is such a waste of time for me. Not to mention that no sibling wants to sit and listen to their sibling yak about themselves over and over and over again," she explained, placing her left elbow on the table and resting her head against it.

"Okay so we'll work on it at my house," Madison stated.

"So are you two going nuts over college interviews?" Justin asked, directing his question to Ricky and Jesse. Amy stared down intently at her tray of food as Jesse shook his head. Ricky began playing footsie with Amy in an attempt to get her to look at him.

"I'm going for athletic scholarships and offers don't usually get made until the end of the season," Jesse explained, not noticing that Amy had smiled and lifted her head slightly to look at Ricky, playing footsie back. "What about you Ricky?" When he didn't respond the other four teens at the table turned their heads to look at him. They saw that he and Amy were smiling demurely at each other and ignoring them. Lauren saw their legs wiggling and glanced under the table, When she saw what they were doing she laughed.

"Really you two?" she asked with amusement. They hadn't heard her and Madison, Justin and Jesse glanced under the table as well. They all started chuckling, which caused Amy and Ricky to break eye contact and look at their friends with blank looks.

"What?" Ricky asked.

"Aren't we a little **old** to be playing footsie?" Jesse asked with amusement. Ricky smiled back at him.

"Nope." He promptly turned his head back to look at Amy and they continued their little game. Jesse looked at Lauren with a twinkle in his eye.

"What?" she asked him. She giggled when he began playing footsie with her.

"Well if you can't beat 'em," Justin said with a smirk and then began playing footsie with Madison, causing her to laugh. Several students looked at them weirdly when they heard Madison laugh and then looked at the rest of the table with confusion when they saw that each couple had matching silly grins. No one bothered to look at their feet and see what all the amusement was about.

The school day ended and Ricky and Amy headed to work while Ben and Adrian headed to Dr. Atavi's office. Ben kept glancing at Adrian nervously as they sat in the waiting room, feeling guilty that she was so uncomfortable as he watched her fidget every so often. He had never been gladder to hear their names being called. He helped Adrian onto the examination table and then patiently took a seat in one of the chairs against the wall. Dr. Atavi came in moments later wearing a smile.

"So how are you doing today, Adrian?" she asked.

"Not so good," Adrian said grumpily. "I just feel so uncomfortable all the time," she explained. Dr. Atavi nodded in understanding.

"Well the good news is that's perfectly normal. The bad news is there's nothing medically I can do to help you with this except offer possible suggestions."

"Yeah. Amy gave me some suggestions today too. She said to stay hydrated, moisturized and just keep trying to figure out the most comfortable position to sleep in," Adrian said grumpily. Dr. Atavi nodded in agreement.

"Amy's right, Adrian. Those are really the only remedies we know of that help. So let's get started on the rest of your checkup." Dr. Atavi proceeded to complete Adrian's checkup and then performed an ultrasound. Before Ben knew it, the appointment was over. "Everything looks good and right on schedule, Adrian," Dr. Atavi assured her. Three weeks from now I'll see you again, to deliver that little one," she said with a smile. She and Ben helped Adrian down from the examination table and Adrian gave her a little wave as she and Ben headed out of the office and towards the front of the hospital.

At Boykewich Butchers, Ricky was a little preoccupied. He'd managed to get Amy to smile and focus on the present for a moment but it had only lasted for a little while. He knew tomorrow, possibly even tonight, Amy would be worrying, or at least wondering, about their future. Nora noticed his troubled expression and joined him at his current task of restocking the pasta shelves.

"Penny for your thoughts?" she asked. Ricky looked at her with surprise for a moment, not having heard her approach him.

"I'm just worried about Amy," he admitted as he pulled several small packages of pasta out of the larger box next to him.

"Is she okay?" Ricky sighed.

"She's worried about what's gonna happen to us next year if I go to a college that's a few hours away from here and I don't know how to get her to stop worrying about it," he admitted grudgingly, irritated with himself that after all the time he'd spent with Amy he had no clue how to begin to make this okay for her.

"Do you wanna go?" Nora asked, adding pasta to the shelf in front of her.

"No," he answered right away.

"Then why would she worry about it?"

"Because they asked me to come up for an interview yesterday and it went pretty well. But that doesn't mean I'm going. I've applied to colleges that are closer too," he explained, adding more pasta to the shelf.

"Why'd you go if you don't wanna go there." He sighed.

"It's just an **option**. Besides, I've already decided that if I end up choosing that one I'll commute. I don't wanna be separated from Amy and John."

"Have you told **her** that?"

"Yeah," Ricky replied with a nod. Nora chuckled.

"As long as she knows you aren't planning on dumping her for some college girl, eventually she'll warm up to the idea. Right now all she can focus on is that fact she won't see you every day." She took several more boxes of pasta out of the larger box and stacked them on the shelf. "Although I'm sure if she got a chance to see where you'd be going it wouldn't seem like you were off in never land or something, at this big, mysterious place filled with potential girlfriends for you to choose from," she added with a smirk. Ricky turned to look at her with a shocked expression. Nora turned to face him and saw it. "What?" Ricky suddenly reached over and gave her a hug, catching Nora off guard. He then released her and kissed her cheek.

"Mom, you're a genius," he said with a smile. Nora felt like she'd just missed something vital.

"Um. Thanks for the compliment. Care to explain why?"

"Showing Amy the campus," he explained. "Even though I'm still waiting to hear from other schools I'm sure if Amy got to see a college campus she'd feel a little better about the whole situation."

"Oh. Well, glad I could help." Ricky spent the rest of his shift planning it all out. As soon as he got off work he raced to his apartment to shower and change. He opened his laptop and loaded the college's website. He typed 'tours' in the search box and found a link to campus tours. Ricky quickly read the page and discovered that there were campus tours daily, beginning at the top of every hour and they could be personalized to potential students. Ricky quickly signed up himself and Amy and then did a quick search for nearby hotels and motels. He found one that was both cheap and didn't look like a dump or have bad customer reviews and booked a room. Now came the hard part: convincing her parents to let her go. He knew his toughest critic would be George so he called him first. Ricky waited anxiously as the phone at the furniture store rang.

"Hello?" George said when he picked up.

"George, it's Ricky and I have a huge favor to ask you."

"Oh?" George asked, intrigue lacing his voice.

"I'd like your permission to have another sleepover with Amy. In a hotel."

"No," came George's instant reply.

"It's not like that!" Ricky exclaimed, knowing why George was taking such a hardline without hearing him out.

"Then what's it like?' George asked sarcastically.

"I had a college interview yesterday and it freaked Amy out."

"What do you mean?" he asked, concern now entering the equation.

"I mean all she could think about was the fact this particular college was far enough away I'd have to commute and she assumed I'd choose to live in a dorm."

"But you'd rather commute?"

"Yeah, because I don't wanna be that far away from Amy and John for that long. Anyway. She talked to Anne about it and she told Amy that she'd just have to wait to see if any of my other choices wanted interviews and to just enjoy the time we've still got together."

"I don't see how that requires spending time together in a hotel."

"Today at work my mom suggested that Amy might be focusing on the fact she won't see me at school every day or that college might seem like some big mysterious place she's never seen before and she might feel better about next year if I took her to see the campus, or any campus."

"Let me get this straight. So you wanna take Amy to see the campus and you two would have to spend the night since it's not exactly nearby?"

"Yeah. They have campus tours every hour and I was thinking since the day after tomorrow's a teacher work day, Amy and I could head out after work tomorrow, spend the night, take the tour then come back that afternoon in time for work." There was silence for several moments as George processed Ricky's plan. "George?"

"I'm not sold on the idea of you two sharing a hotel room unsupervised so I want your word, man to man, that if I say okay you'll keep it in your pants. While I love my grandson I'd prefer if my daughter only had one kid during her high school career."

"I promise, man to man," he assured George.

"I'll still need to run this by Anne."

"Thanks, George."

"Don't thank me yet. I'll let you know." George hung up the phone with a sigh and went in search of Anne. He found her in the store room checking their inventory of upholstery fillings. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly as he approached her. "Hey, Anne. I need to run something by you."

"What's that?" she asked, not looking up from the clipboard she was writing on.

"Ricky wants to spend the night with Amy in a hotel room." Anne's head snapped up and her eyes were wide with shock. "Yeah that was my reaction until he explained it all too me."

"Explained what exactly?" she asked suspiciously. George began to tell her about his conversation with Ricky and Anne's demeanor softened. "She **is** a little fixated on the separation part of it." She worried her lip nervously as she thought about Amy's point of view and Ricky's suggestion. "He gave you his word they weren't gonna do anything?" George nodded. "Well if Amy agrees then I say we let them. Nora might be right and once Amy realizes that a college campus is just a place and not something mysterious she might relax."

"Or, she could realize that college is much bigger than high school, with more girls, if you catch my drift, and freak out even more." Anne sighed, acknowledging George's point.

"Maybe. But there's only one way to find out." George nodded and headed back to his office to phone Ricky. Ricky answered his cell on the first ring.

"Well?" he asked anxiously.

"If Amy agrees we won't object." Ricky sighed.

"Thanks, George. Does this mean you guys will also watch John tomorrow night and…"

"Yeah, yeah. We've got you guys covered," George answered grumpily.

"Thanks, George. I really appreciate this. I'll drop by later tonight and talk to Amy about it."

"Okay. See you later."

"Bye." Ricky ended the call and sighed. _Hopefully everything will be okay soon._ He passed the time eating his dinner and doing his homework, checking his watch every so often to see if it was John's bedtime yet. When he glanced at his watch and saw that it finally was, Ricky smiled as he quickly rose from the table and pulled on his jacket, eager to get to Amy's.

Amy walked out of the bathroom headed towards her bedroom, her face a minty shade of green thanks to her face mask. She set the timer on her cell phone and then stretched out on her bed to work on her homework. Ricky knocked on the front door when he arrived and Anne answered it. She gave him a soft smile and stepped back so he could enter.

"She's upstairs," Anne informed him as she shut the door. He nodded his thanks and headed up the stairs. He found Amy's door open and was about to knock on it but instead chose to just look at her for a moment since she hadn't realized someone was at her door yet. She was reclining on her bed in a pajama shirt, sweatpants and a sweater but Ricky still thought she looked beautiful. Several moments passed before Amy felt someone staring at her and glanced up. She cried out with alarm when her eyes landed on Ricky, causing him to jump a little. She narrowed her eyes at him for a moment before sitting up and trying to shield her face with her left hand.

"You scared me," she said with irritation. "What are you doing here?" If she knew he'd be stopping by tonight she wouldn't have dressed solely for comfort and she **certainly** wouldn't have put on her exfoliating mask just yet. Ricky entered her room and sat next to her on the bed.

"I wanted to talk to you about something."

"I can't talk to you right now, I look ridiculous," she said, dropping her hand but still refusing to look at him. Ricky smirked at her but she missed it, since she still wasn't looking at him.

"Amy, I told you I didn't wanna be separated from you and John and I meant it but I also know you're still anxious about what's gonna happen to us next year." Amy continued looking down and didn't say anything. "And my mom gave me a suggestion." Amy finally looked at him, curiosity winning out over her embarrassment. "She suggested you might feel better about it if you could see that going to college doesn't mean I'm gonna drop off the face of the earth or something and gonna abandon you." Amy sighed.

"I know you're not abandoning me, Ricky. You'll do great in college, I know that. You don't have to worry about me. I'll be okay," she tried to reassure him with a smile. Ricky wasn't fooled because the smile didn't quite reach her eyes. He leaned in and kissed her briefly and she blushed when he pulled back, still slightly embarrassed her boyfriend had just kissed her while she had her facemask on.

"I have an idea that might help with that though."

"What kind of idea?" she asked curiously.

"What do you say tomorrow night the two of us drive up the coast, spend the night and then go visit the campus the next morning?" Amy looked at him perplexed.

"It's a school night." He shook his head.

"Nope. It's a teacher workday."

"Do you think it would throw off John's schedule too much?" she asked worriedly. Again he shook his head.

"Your parents agreed to pick him up from daycare tomorrow and take care of him." Amy's eyebrows lifted in surprise.

"My parents agreed to this?"

"Only if you say yes," he told her with a smile. She chuckled and broke eye contact for a moment while she thought about it.

"I kinda would like to see it," she admitted shyly.

"Okay then."

"Okay," she agreed. Ricky leaned in for another kiss.

"I should get going," he stated, rising from the bed and reaching for her hand. Amy placed her hand in his and together they walked to the front door. He kissed her goodnight one more time before heading to his car. Amy shut the door and sighed as she leaned against it. _Only a guy who's head over heels in love would kiss his girlfriend twice while she looks like this_ Amy thought with a smile as she glanced down at her attire. _And it takes a pretty great guy to try and make you feel better about something that hasn't even happened yet, and might not _she thought happily as she headed upstairs to see if her timer had gone off and it was time to remove her mask.

Next door Adrian was trying to find a comfortable sleeping position. She'd finished her homework early and felt tired so she decided to turn in early. Unfortunately she just couldn't seem to get comfortable. She finally managed to get her pillows scrunched up just right so she was propped up and she managed to doze off for a couple of hours. She woke up feeling off and immediately looked down at her stomach. She rubbed her hands across it but her daughter must've been sleeping because she didn't kick. Adrian had felt uncomfortable for a couple weeks now but this just felt like something was wrong. She couldn't explain how she **knew** something wasn't right and couldn't put her finger on exactly what felt so wrong_. I better call Dr. Atavi in the morning_ she thought decisively as she shifted around and tried to get comfortable again. Finally after about an hour Adrian managed to feel comfortable enough to drift off to sleep.


	22. Heartbreak

Adrian dressed and went downstairs to get some breakfast as she waited for her OB's office to open. She entered the kitchen and saw her parents both getting ready to head out the door. Rueben took one last drink from his coffee mug before setting it in the sink and grabbing his briefcase. He kissed Adrian's forehead and then turned and gave his wife a goodbye kiss.

"See you ladies tonight," he told them with a smile before heading out the door. Cindy finished the last bite of food on her plate and then placed her breakfast dishes in the sink.

"There's toast and scrambled eggs warming in the oven," she told Adrian as she grabbed her keys. Adrian nodded in response and began fixing herself a plate. "I'll see you tonight," Cindy said as she made her way to the door.

"Okay," Adrian said in reply, checking her phone to see what time it was as her mother shut the door behind her. Seeing that it was almost 7:30, Adrian dialed her OB's office. The phone picked up on the second ring.

"Dr. Atavi's office."

"Hi. This is Adrian Lee and I was wondering if Dr. Atavi had any openings this morning." Adrian heard the typing of computer keys.

"I see that you were in to see her just yesterday. Is everything alright?" the receptionist asked politely.

"I'm not sure," Adrian told her honestly. "Something just doesn't feel right and my baby hasn't been kicking as much since late last night." Adrian heard the receptionist type for a moment.

"Actually she just walked in. May I put you on hold for a moment?"

"Sure." Adrian found herself listening to holiday music and began humming along absentmindedly as she took a few bites of her breakfast.

"Adrian?" came Dr. Atavi's voice over the phone. Adrian quickly swallowed her food.

"Yes. Hi."

"So I understand something feels a little off this morning?"

"Yes. And I was wondering if I could stop by the morning for a quick checkup."

"Why don't you and Ben come by this morning and we'll take a look." Adrian inwardly breathed a sigh of relief. "And since it's so close to your due date I suggest you bring your overnight bag just in case."

"Alright. I'll be there in a little bit."

"We'll be waiting." Adrian ended the call and dialed Ben's number. At the Boykewich residence Ben was just finishing up his own breakfast. Leo came into the dining room with his briefcase in hand.

"I've gotta get going a little early this morning and I'll probably be home late tonight," Leo informed him. "Have a good day at school and work." Ben took a drink of his juice to wash down his bite of food.

"Will do, dad." Leo gave Ben a small smile and then headed out. Just as the door closed Ben's phone rang. He saw Adrian's name on his caller ID and picked up in a hurry.

"What's wrong!? Is it time!?" he asked anxiously. Adrian chuckled at his anxiousness.

"I don't know. Something felt a little off last night so this morning so I called Dr. Atavi. She wants me to stop by this morning and she suggested I bring my overnight bag just in case. I was calling to see if you wanted to come with me." Ben quickly stood up from the table and started heading towards the door, grabbing his car keys on the way.

"Of course! I'm headed to your place right now," Ben informed her, slamming the door behind him as he rushed to his car.

"You can just meet me there." Ben shook his head, even though Adrian couldn't see him.

"You shouldn't be driving in your condition you silly woman! What if you go into labor on the way!?" Arian chuckled again.

"Alright, alright. Just hurry up will you?'

"Will do." Ben ended the call, started his car and headed to Adrian's house. Back at the Juergens residence Amy was fighting with John to get his shoes tied.

"John, mommy has to get you to the nursery so she can get to school," she tried to explain to him while simultaneously chasing him around the living room. He had one shoe on and tied but had managed to both get his other shoe and slide off her lap when she'd paused a few moments ago to sneeze and had accidentally dropped the shoe she was holding. John was currently gleefully playing keep away with it, oblivious to the fact that him mother was pressed for time and couldn't play right now. John crawled under the coffee table and Amy took the opportunity to jog around the couch out of his line of sight. As John came out the other side and looked behind him for Amy she dashed between the couch and coffee table to scoop him up. "Gotcha," she told him with a smile, causing him to squeal happily. She took the shoe from him, sat on the couch with him on her lap and held his right leg still so she could slip on his shoe and tie it. Her mission accomplished, Amy gathered the necessary bags and loaded them and her son into her SUV. The drive to the nursery was completed without incident and then she made her way to school. As she walked down the hallway she looked for Ricky. Ricky entered the hallway moments after her and jogged up beside her.

"Hey, gorgeous. Lookin' for someone?" he asked her with a smile, earning a smile from her in return.

"Hi."

"Hi."

"Your son was a handful this morning," she told him with a smile and an arched eyebrow. Ricky chuckled.

"Why is he **my** son when he gets in trouble?" Amy giggled.

"He didn't get in trouble he just decided that getting ready to leave the house was a perfect time to play sneaker keep away this morning." At Ricky's questioning look Amy recounted her brief chase of their son around the living room, causing Ricky to laugh.

"He's always full of energy isn't he?" Amy nodded.

"Yeah. He's our very own little energizer bunny sometimes." They shared a laugh and then Ricky intertwined their fingers as they headed to the band room. "I hope he doesn't wear out my parents tonight, or tomorrow morning," she said with concern. Ricky kissed her forehead

"He'll be fine," he assured her. "Who better to keep an eye on our little guy than his family members? Besides. We'll be back tomorrow afternoon." Amy nodded in agreement and smiled as they reached the band room. Across town at the hospital Ben and Adrian had arrived at the hospital and were waiting for Dr. Atavi.

"How do you feel?" Ben asked Adrian nervously. She gave him a smile and rubbed her belly fondly.

"I feel fine, Ben. Just a little uncomfortable." Ben made a move to stand up but Adrian placed a hand on his arm to stop him. "I'm almost full term, Ben. Being slightly uncomfortable comes with the territory of having a tiny human being inside you," she informed him bemusedly. Dr. Atavi and a nurse walked out to the waiting area just then. Seeing her approach, Ben helped Adrian rise from her chair.

"Hi, Adrian, Ben," she greeted them. "Let's see if this little one is the reason you feel a little off. Has she been kicking or moving a lot this morning?" Adrian shook her head.

"No. But I figure she's just getting into position to enter the world," Adrian said with a smile. The nurse stepped forward and spoke to Ben.

"Do you have a list of who you'd like to call to be here with you? If you give me the list I can make the calls for the two of you, just in case you're too busy or preoccupied later," the nurse said with a gentle smile. Adrian and Ben shared a look.

"Well my dad's got a big court case today and my mom's at a mandatory training day for flight attendants so I don't wanna bother them until we know for sure this is it," Adrian explained, giving Ben a cautious look. He nodded.

"And my dad's got some meetings today so let's just wait until we know if this is it."

"We'll let's go take a look," Dr. Atavi said, extending her arm to allow Adrian to walk ahead of her. Adrian didn't see her share a knowing look with the nurse who had accompanied her. Ben was momentarily unsettled but decided to wait and find out what was going on. Dr. Atavi led Adrian and Ben to her examination room and the nurse and Ben helped Adrian get situated on the examination bed. Dr. Atavi turned on the ultrasound machine and Adrian lifted her shirt in expectation of the gel that would soon be applied. Dr. Atavi applied the gel as the nurse turned off the lights in the room. Dr. Atavi began running the wand over Adrian's belly and everyone's eyes became glued to the monitor. As their baby came into view Adrian smiled but in the next instant she was filled with confusion.

"Why can't we hear the heartbeat?" she asked.

"One moment, Adrian," Dr. Atavi said gently. She moved the wand around a little more and looked at their daughter's positioning. She turned off the monitor and looked at the nurse. "We need a fetal monitor to be certain."

"Certain of what!?" Ben asked, his voice cracking slightly with panic.

"What's wrong with my baby!?" Adrian asked, beginning to tear up. She reached for Ben's hand and he quickly took it and gave her a reassuring squeeze, all without breaking eye contact with Dr. Atavi. As the nurse left to get the monitor, turning on the lights as she left, Dr. Atavi turned sad eyes to the two teens before her.

"The ultrasound couldn't find your daughter's heartbeat so we'll need to use a fetal monitor to see if her heart rate is simply dangerously low. If it is then we'll need to perform an emergency C-section." Adrian placed her free hand over her mouth to stop the gasp and sob that bubbled in her throat at this news and she turned tear-filled eyes towards Ben, seeing her fears reflected in her eyes. Tension filled the room for several moments. It was too much for Adrian and she felt like screaming. Thankfully the nurse came in with the fetal monitor and Dr. Atavi began wiping the gel from Adrian's abdomen in order to attach the monitor. Adrian and Ben waited with baited breath for it to be turned on. They watched the readout monitor hopefully and fearfully as the nurse turned it on; their hearts dropped as the readout machine showed a steady line and Adrian's tears began to flow.

"What does that mean?" she tearfully asked. Dr. Atavi gave her a sympathetic look.

"It means, Adrian, that your baby is stillborn." Ben felt numb and confused.

"What do you mean?" he asked, his voice thick with unshed tears. "We saw you yesterday and everything was fine," he explained, more for his own benefit as his brain tried to process the news. "How could she be fine yesterday and not fine today?"

"We don't know what causes babies to be stillborn, Ben. We **do** know that at this stage it's through no fault of the mother. One moment the baby is fine and the next his or her heart stops," she explained gently. Adrian was now weeping openly. Ben sat on the edge of the examining table and hugged her.

"What happens now?" Ben asked, uncertain he really wanted to know the answer. Dr. Atavi sighed.

"Now Adrian gives birth." Her statement caught both teens by surprise.

"What?" they asked in unison.

"Your daughter is in the birthing position and Adrian's not in any danger so in these situations we will induce labor and the mother delivers her child." Adrian and Ben looked at each other once more, hugged each other tightly and cried.

Dr. Atavi gave Adrian and Ben some privacy as she readied a birthing room and paged Adrian and Ben's first OB, knowing a friendly face would be needed and welcomed as the two waited for their family and friends to come be with them. Fifteen minutes later Adrian was placed in a wheelchair and wheeled to the awaiting birthing room. A nurse helped her into a hospital gown and then helped her get into the bed in the birthing position with her bottom in a bed pan. Once she was positioned, Dr. Atavi washed her hands and donned gloves. She positioned herself in front of Adrian and picked up an instrument from an awaiting tray.

"This is going to be uncomfortable, Adrian. I need to break the amniotic sack in order to trigger your labor," Dr. Atavi told her gently. Adrian felt too numb to response so she simply nodded. She felt a sharp tug and squeezed Ben's hand. A split second later she felt a rush of liquid leaving her body and fall into the bed pan. Two nurses helped her lift off the bed pan and get cleaned up and more comfortable in the bed. Dr. Atavi removed her gloves and deposited them in the bio waste bin before turning back towards Adrian with a sympathetic smile. "I'll be back to check on you frequently," she informed her patient. Adrian gave no response. Moments later it was just her and Ben in the hospital room. Silence filled the room for several minutes as they were both lost in their own thoughts and misery.

True to her word, Dr. Atavi checked on Adrian frequently. Even though her labor had been artificially induced, it was still several hours before Adrian was fully dilated. When she reached the delivery point, two nurses joined Adrian and Ben in the delivery room. Adrian felt like she was in a haze, simply following the directions of some disembodied voice. She pushed when the voice told her to push and stopped pushing when the voice told her to stop pushing. On some level she was aware that Ben was holding her hand, but for some reason she lacked the ability to squeeze his hand, instead simply allowing him to hold onto hers. Adrian was vaguely aware of pressure in her lower abdomen but her mind either couldn't or wouldn't register that this pressure was due to her dead baby coming into the world, that she was giving birth to a dead baby, **her** dead baby. Fifteen minutes after she began pushing, Mercy Sarah Boykewich-Lee entered the world.

"Ben, would you like to cut the cord?" Dr. Atavi asked him. Ben likewise had been observing the whole scene as though he were having an out of body experience; as though he were simply watching two strangers bring a baby into this world. The doctor's words brought him back to reality but it took his brain a moment to process what his ears had heard. He looked down at Adrian and felt torn. He could see that she felt dejected and numb, just like him, and he wasn't sure he should let go of her hand to do what the doctor offered. Finally he decided that since this was something fathers did then he wanted to do it. He nodded and released Adrian's hand. He walked towards Dr. Atavi and took the surgical shears from her. He cut where she instructed him to cut and then he made his way back to Adrian's side and took her hand once more. The room was very silent as Dr. Atavi guided Adrian through the delivery of her placenta and two nurses bathed their daughter. The placenta delivered, Adrian sagged against her pillows and her eyes slowly fluttered closed, the mental and emotional toll of the day finally forcing her to sleep. Ben watched Adrian's face relax as sleep took over. He was interrupted from his gazing by one of the nurses.

"Ben?" He turned towards the sound of his name being called and saw the nurse holding a tiny bundle wrapped in a light pink blanket. She held his daughter out to him and he gingerly took her. Seeing that Ben was momentarily at a loss, the nurse guided him to an armchair in the room and helped him sit down. Ben just starred at his daughter. She was so tiny, with a little tuft of black hair on the top of her head. Her skin was a lighter shade of Adrian's skin tone and she looked simply angelic, as though she were merely fast asleep. Ben gazed at his daughter with wonder for several moments before his mind was filled with what-ifs. He began to wonder what Mercy would have looked like as she grew up. What her personality would be. Would she be more like Ben or Adrian? Would she be more like one of her grandparents? Would she be smart or athletic or both? What would her favorite foods have been? What kinds of toys would she have liked? Ben looked at his daughter's face and wondered what color eyes she had as well. As he continued to look at her he was suddenly filled with regret and fresh tears began falling. He would never hear his daughter's voice, see her smile, laugh or even cry. He would never get to take to her first day of school, help her with her homework, read her bedtime stories, play with her, scold her when she was naughty, put Band-Aids on her boo-boos, teach her how to drive, scare away her boyfriends. Suddenly Ben would've given anything in the world just for Mercy to wake up and cry, letting him know this was just a bad dream. But Mercy didn't wake up or stir. Mercy was gone before she'd ever had a chance to be. Ben continued to hold and stare at his daughter until his tears dried up.

Just as Ben finally felt that maybe he had himself under control, Adrian woke up. She wasn't sure where she was at first and began looking around. She noticed Ben sitting in a nearby armchair holding a tiny bundle. Realization hit Adrian and she began to tear up again.

"Ben?" she called out shakily. Ben's head snapped up and his eyes landed on Adrian. Seeing that her eyes were focused on the bundle in his arms, he walked over to her. Adrian sat up and Ben transferred Mercy to her mother's arms. Adrian took one look at her daughter's face and burst into tears, pulling her daughter closer to her and rubbing her cheek against Mercy's. Ben knew she needed some alone time with their daughter but he also didn't feel right about leaving Adrian alone at that moment. He chose to return to the armchair. Adrian talked to her daughter through her tears.

"I'm sorry, baby. Dr. Atavi said I didn't do anything wrong so I don't know why you were taken from us but we wanted you so much, baby girl. I wanted you **so** much." Adrian lowered Mercy so she could look at her daughter's face. Adrian brushed her finger against Mercy's cheek, played with the little tuft of hair on top of her head with a sad smile, placed one of her fingers in Mercy's tiny little fist, loosened the blanket so she could gently rub one of Mercy's tiny little feet. Adrian rewrapped Mercy in her blanket, subconsciously not wanting her daughter to be cold, and then kissed her forehead. "I love you, Mercy," Adrian whispered to her daughter. A nurse came in and gave the little family a sad smile.

"We're ready for her," she said simply. Adrian looked over at Ben and he walked to her side. Adrian placed one more kiss on her daughter's right cheek and Ben placed one on her left.

"We love you, Mercy," Ben said. They shared a resolute, albeit sad, look and then Ben took Mercy from Adrian's arms. He handed her to the nurse and she gave them another sad, sympathetic smile before leaving the room. The sound of the door closing somehow sounded louder and more ominous that it should have and Ben and Adrian embraced as fresh tears began to fall. After Adrian cried herself to sleep, Ben stepped out into the hallway to try to compose himself. Moments later, Arian's fist OB walks up to him. Hearing approaching footsteps, Ben turned around.

"Hey. Haven't seen you in a while."

Hi, Ben. How are you doing?" Ben shook his head.

"Not good."

"She's gonna be fine, Ben."

"She probably will, but I don't know about me." The doctor placed a reassuring hand on Ben's shoulder so Ben would look at him.

"You need your family and friends around you right now. Have you called anyone yet?" Ben shook his head. He gave Ben's shoulder a squeeze. "We can take care of that for you." Ben nods this thanks and heads back into Adrian's room. At the reception area the doctor inquired about emergency contacts listed for Adrian just as the nurse who was present for her ultrasound that morning walked up.

"I just got the list of names and numbers from Ben a little while ago," she informed him. "I'm calling them now." She sat down and began her calls, starting with Cindy. Cindy's training session was currently taking a break and she checked her phone just as the nurse called her.

"Hello?"

"Is this Cindy Enriquez?"

"Yes. Who is this?"

"My name is Veronica. I'm a nurse at…" she doesn't get a chance to finish.

"What happened!? Is Adrian alright!? Is she having the baby!?" Cindy exclaims, drawing curious stares from her coworkers and supervisors.

"Your daughter is fine physically, however, I'm calling because she needs some emotional support right now." Fear gripped Cindy at those words.

"I'm on my way!" Cindy declared, rushing out to her car. She called Ruben as she made a mad dash to the parking lot. He picked up on the second ring.

"Cindy, I really can't talk right now unless it's something quick."

"Adrian's at the hospital and I think something's wrong with the baby! A nurse just called me and said Adrian's fine but needs emotional support. I cut her off before she could explain 'cuz I'm heading to the hospital now!"

"I'm on my way!" Ruben turned to his second chair and informed her she needed to take over because a family emergency had come up. On his way to his car his phone rand and it's a number he doesn't recognize. He doesn't bother answering because his only concern right now is to get to Adrian. When Ruben's phone goes to voicemail, the nurse left a message and then called Leo's cell.

"Hello?"

"Is this Mr. Leo Boykewich?"

"Yes. And who may I ask is calling?"

"My name is Veronica and I'm a nurse at…" again she's cut off. Is it Ben!? Or is it Adrian!? Is it the baby!?"

"Sir, Adrian and Ben are both fine physically, however they could use some more emotional support right now."

"I'm on my way." Leo ends the call and rushes out of his office, startling Camille.

"Leo, what is it?"

"The hospital just called me. Ben and Adrian are fine but something's wrong with the baby. I need you to hold all my calls and reschedule my afternoon meetings. I gotta go." Camille watched Leo step into the elevator with a stricken expression and sent up a prayer that everything was okay. Back at Boykewich Butcher Shop, Ricky is hard at work.

"Here you go, Mr. Jenks," Ricky said polity with a smile as he handed the customer his order of pork chops." As Mr. Jenks took his wrapped steaks Ricky's eyes were drawn to the door as he heard the bell chime and his face split into a grin when his eyes landed on Amy. Mr. Jenks turned to see who had captured Ricky's attention and smiled.

"Is that your wife?" Ricky shook his head, his smile never wavering.

"Someday," he said wistfully. Mr. Jenks smiled at him.

"Thanks. Have a nice evening."

"Thanks, and you too." Bunny came out of the office and noticed Ricky starring at Amy and shook her head with amusement as she approached Amy.

"Hi, Amy."

"Hi, Bunny," Amy replied.

"I don't mean to be rude, sweetheart, but would you mind heading up to Ricky's right away? I know a love-struck young man when I see one and your guy's one of them." Amy looked at Bunny thoughtfully.

"But we've been dating for almost four months." Bunny gave her a motherly smile.

"Trust me, he's still love-struck." She got a little closer to Amy and whispered, "And love-struck guys have a hard time concentrating on their work." Amy got her drift.

"Right. I'll just head on up. Nice to see you again, Bunny." Amy gave Ricky a small wave before heading upstairs. Bunny shook her head with amusement again and approached Ricky at the counter.

"Alright lover boy. Your shift's not over for another half hour so try to keep your mind down here instead of upstairs with Amy, hmmm?" Ricky blushed slightly with embarrassment.

"Sorry." As Bunny was about to walk away Ricky stopped her with a question. "Have you heard from Ben? Do you know why he didn't come in today?" Bunny shrugged.

"No idea, but I guess if Adrian's having the baby he's a little busy and he'll call eventually.' Ricky nodded in agreement and then went back to work. Amy made her way up the stairs to Ricky's apartment and walked in. She found Nora sitting at the kitchen table drinking a glass of water. They greeted each other with a smile.

"Hi, Amy," Nora said as she made her way over to give Amy a hug. They embraced briefly.

"Hi." Amy looked at Nora's dress. "You look nice," she said honestly. Nora did a little twirl to show off her dress.

"Why thank you. Margaret and I are going out to dinner."

"That's nice."

"And I hear you and Ricky are gonna do the same," Nora stated, giving Amy a suggestive look.

"What?" Nora chuckled.

"Never underestimate the power of a little romance," Nora said with a suggestive wink. "Just do me a favor?"

"What?"

"If things heat up, use a condom?" Amy blushed. "As much as I love John and the two of you, you two don't have enough time to just be teenagers as it is since you're working to take care of the little guy."

"We've talked about it and it's just not the right time to have sex again so you have nothing to worry about, promise."

"Good to know," Margaret replied from the doorway, startling Amy. She swiveled around and saw Margaret's smiling face. "You ready, Nora?" Nora nodded and grabbed her purse. As she reached the door she turned back to face Amy.

"You kids have fun, just not too much fun," Nora said with a wink. Amy blushed again and waved as Ricky's mothers exited the apartment, closing the door behind them. Amy sat on the couch and texted Lauren and Madison as she waited for Ricky to get off work.

His shift over, Ricky clocked out and dashed upstairs, smiling when he opened his apartment door and found Amy sitting there. She looked up and smiled at him.

"Just let me shower real quick and then we can go," he informed her. He showered and dressed in record time. He grabbed his overnight bag and headed back to the living room. "Ready?" he asked, holding out his hand towards Amy; she took it with a smile.

"Ready." Ricky let Amy walk out ahead of him and then closed the door and locked it. He took her hand once again and they walked hand in hand outside to his car. He opened the door for her and closed it once she was settled. He opened the driver's side door, tossed his bag in the back seat and then climbed in. He got situated and started the car, backing out of his parking spot with a smile. Amy turned up their favorite smooth jazz station and they rode in comfortable silence as Ricky headed towards the freeway to take them up the coast.

Back at the Bowman residence Grace and Grant were working on their history project when Tom walked into the kitchen.

"When is Adrian gonna have da baby?" he asked. "I tot it was sposed to be any day now," he said with exasperation. Grace smiled at him.

"Actually she's still got a couple of week but I'm sure she'll call when it's time," she assured her brother. Tom wasn't convinced and decided to call Adrian himself. At the hospital Adrian's phone rang and she answered it numbly.

"Hi, Adrian. How are you?" Tom asked.

"Tom, I can't talk right now. I'm at the hospital." Ben took the phone from her and ended the call, looking at her sadly. Adrian rolled onto her side and reached for his hand; he squeezed it comfortingly. Moments later her hospital room door was opened and their parents came piling in, their faces etched with worry. Cindy rushed to Adrian's side and spoke first.

"What's going on? A nurse called and said you were in need of 'emotional support'?" Before Ben or Adrian could answer, Dr. Atavi entered the room and quietly shut the door. She had been alerted that Adrian and Ben's parents had arrived and she knew she'd need to be present to try and answer any questions they had. Seeing Dr. Atavi, Adrian gave her a pleading look, unable to verbalize the tragedy yet.

"I have some terrible news for you all," she said, obtaining the parents' attention, "so I won't drag this out. Mercy was stillborn." The three parents collectively gasped with shock as silence filled the room. Adrian began crying and Cindy's tears began flowing right after that as she hugged her daughter tightly. Slowly realization hit Ruben and he likewise began to cry as Leo went to his son and hugged him, the two of them crying together. Back at the Bowman household Tom rushed into the kitchen with excitement.

"Quick! We need ta get to da hospital!" Grace looked at him with alarm.

"Why!? What happened!?"

"It's Adrian! She's having the baby! I called and she said she was at da hospital!" Grace and Grant shared a surprised expression and then smiled.

"Let's go!" Grant said, grabbing his jacket from the back of his chair. As they were heading out, Grace's cellphone rang; it was Alice.

"Hi, Alice!" Grace said cheerfully.

"Hey Grace. I've been trying to reach Ben all afternoon but his phone just goes to voicemail. My guess is he's probably with Adrian and I was wondering if she'd told you where they were?"

"Oh, you haven't heard? Adrian's at the hospital. They're having the baby!"

"Oh!" Alice exclaimed. "Thanks, Grace." Alice hung up and turned to Henry. "They're having the baby!" They smiled and headed to the hospital. Meanwhile Ricky and Amy were halfway up the coast, traffic being pretty light since it was a weeknight.

"'So what do you feel like for dinner?" he asked as he took the exit that would lead them to their hotel room for the night.

"I don't know. Why don't we just see what calls to us after we check in."

"Sounds good." Amy shifted in her seat so she was facing Ricky a little more.

"So what's this college like?" she asked curiously. Ricky changed lanes and turned onto the street that would lead them to their night's lodging.

"It's a large university so I can only imagine it might be kinda confusing to navigate your way around, but they have a well-known business program so I assume they've got all the resources to make getting a degree there worthwhile," he replied, giving her a reassuring smile. Amy gave him a small smile back, still a little uneasy about him being so far away. Ricky took her left hand in his and kissed the back of her hand. "Let's just take this one step at a time, kay?" Amy licked her lips nervously and then gave him a brave smile. They stopped at a red light and he leaned over to kiss her properly, eliciting a genuine smile from her. They arrived at their hotel just as their acquaintances arrived at the hospital back in LA. Grant inquired at the main reception desk what room Adrian was in. Back at Adrian's room she woke up from a small nap, having cried herself to sleep again.

"Mom?" she called out. Cindy dried her eyes and rose from her chair to be at Adrian's side. She smoothed back Adrian's hair as she answered her.

"What is it baby? What can I do?" Cindy asked, desperate to try to ease her daughter's pain. Adrian turned to face her mother, her face drawn and dejected.

"They said I didn't do anything wrong." Cindy's heart broke for her daughter.

"I know baby," she assured Adrian. Adrian began to cry again.

"I didn't do anything wrong," she sobbed. Cindy hugged her tightly.

"Oh, I know baby, I know." Cindy just held her daughter as she cried. Ruben was standing in the corner watching his daughter cry and he suddenly felt too overcome with grief to stay in the room and stepped outside, where he found Leo tearfully hugging Ben. Cindy walked out of the room, silently crying, a few moments later. They each hugged Ben and slowly made their way down the hallway just as Alice, Henry, Grace, Grant and Tom came around the corner, chatting happily. Alice and Henry were carrying a large teddy bear between them and Grace, Grant and Tom all had smiles on their faces. Leo released Ben and walked down the hallway to stop the happy little group. Alice noticed Leo's tear streaked face first and stopped in her tracks. Her sudden stop caught everyone's attention and they quickly quieted down out of confusion.

"Mr. Boykewich?" Henry asked nervously.

"I'm sorry you guys but now's not the time for visitors."

"What happened?" Alice asked with dread. Leo turned to face her directly.

"They lost the baby." Grace gasped and began to cry. Alice and Henry rushed forward to hug Ben as she hugged Grant and cried into his shoulder.

"Poor Adrian! And poor Ben! This is awful!" she sobbed. Tom began to cry as well and Grace released her boyfriend to hug her brother.


	23. The Green Eyed Monster

While Ben and Adrian's heartbreak was spreading to their friends, Ricky and Amy went up to their hotel room and dropped off their bags so they could head out for dinner. They walked hand in hand a couple of blocks down the shop-filled street near their hotel looking for something appealing. Amy gasped with surprise when she spotted a barbeque-themed diner across the street and turned pleading eyes towards Ricky. He chuckled at her excitement and they made their way across the street to Rob's Smokehouse. They went inside and were greeted by a hostess.

"Two?" she asked pleasantly to which Ricky nodded. She grabbed two menus and led them into the restaurant to a booth with a window seat. She placed a menu in front of each of them. "Travis will be your waiter tonight and he'll be by in a moment to take your drink orders." She smiled and left them to browse the menu. Ricky scanned his menu and chuckled.

"I take it you'll be getting an order of wings?" Amy looked over the top of her menu and saw Ricky's amused eyes twinkling at her. She playfully stuck out her tongue and then looked back down at her menu.

"Maybe," she said with a smile. Travis came by several moments later.

"Good evening," he said to Ricky. He turned to look at Amy and smiled even bigger. "What would the lady like to drink this evening?" he asked a little too friendly for Ricky's liking. He clenched his menu a little tighter and frowned, trying hard not to say something he might regret. The way he was looking at Amy made her feel a little self-conscious and she blushed.

"A sprite please," she said before attempting to hide her face with her menu. Travis turned to Ricky.

"And for you, sir?"

"The same," Ricky replied tersely, glaring at Travis, causing Amy to look at him questioningly. Travis left to get their drinks.

"What was that about?"

"He was flirting with you," Ricky informed her tightly, looking back down at his menu, too irritated to actually see the words or images in front of him. Amy giggled, causing Ricky to look at her with a mixture of irritation and alarm.

"No he wasn't. He was just a little too friendly." She shrugged a little, "It kinda gave me the creeps actually." At Amy's admission Ricky's temper began to flare. How dare some guy make his girlfriend feel uncomfortable!

"Trust me. He was flirting with you. But if he tries it again I'll tell him to cut it out," he assured her. Amy tossed her head to swish her hair back.

"Well he can flirt all he wants; I'm not interested in a guy who tries to steal someone else's girlfriend," she said matter-of-factly. Ricky gave her a smile and then looked back down at his menu.

"Do you wanna walk around some more after we eat? Or do you wanna just turn in?"

"Let's walk around for a bit. It's not often we get a night off."

"Okay." They shared a smile just as Travis returned with their drinks.

"Have you decided what you'd like to order?" he asked Amy with his too friendly smile. Amy looked at Ricky to silently ask him to say something but it was unnecessary. Ricky heard the flirtatious tone of Travis's voice and spoke up.

"Yes, she has, however my **girlfriend** and I would also appreciate it if you'd stop attempting to flirt with her," Ricky said matter-of-factly, causing Amy to smile at him. Travis swiveled his head to look at Ricky and a lady in the booth behind them snickered.

"I'll have the wings platter with sweet potato fries instead of mashed potatoes," Amy stated, closing her menu.

"And for you, sir?" Travis said tightly but politely.

"I'll have the chicken fried steak dinner," Ricky replied, also closing his menu. Travis took their menus and walked away. Ricky placed his left hand palm up on the table and smiled at Amy. She smiled back and placed her hand in his. "Hi." Amy giggled.

"Hi."

"Now that that's taken care of….are you feeling any better about next year?" he asked gently. Amy looked down at their joined hands.

"I don't know," she answered honestly. "Even though you're still here, I still miss you, a lot, sometimes." Ricky lifted their joined hands and kissed hers.

"I've applied to more local colleges too, Amy. There's still time for me to get into one of them."

"I know."

"Regardless of where I end up going I'm never more than a phone call, text or video chat away if you want or need to reach me. Okay?" Amy smiled.

"Okay." They sat in companionable silence until Travis brought their food and then they chatted about nothing in particular during their meal. When they had finished eating, Ricky paid the bill and then they walked out of the restaurant.

"Which way, milady?" Ricky asked bemusedly. Amy heard some music playing and they headed in its direction. They walked towards what was obviously the town square of the little town and found holiday lights wrapping all the light posts and a gazebo in the center. A band was playing holiday music while people danced and all the stores surrounding the square were lit up. They decided to do some window shopping. They entered a store that sold handcrafted ornaments and looked around. Amy saw a couple on a shelf that she found interesting and bent over to get a closer look. Ricky noticed out of the corner of his eye a guy incline his head and start to smile. Ricky glanced at him and then followed his line of sight. When he realized the guy was checking out Amy's rear end, Ricky saw red. How dare some guy check out my girlfriend like she was a piece of meat! _Doesn't he see me standing there!? The nerve of some people!_ He had to mentally check himself for being a hypocrite as he'd never been put off by a girl he was attracted to having a boyfriend. Then again, he reminded himself, that was the **old** Ricky. The **new** Ricky wasn't about to stand aside and let some guy ogle his girlfriend. The guy continued to check out Amy. When he called over one of his buddies to check Amy out too Ricky lost it. He stepped closer to Amy to block their view and then called out to them while glaring at them.

"She's got a boyfriend fellas! Nothing to see here so move on! The guys were startled, as was Amy, who hadn't noticed what was going on. Amy glanced at Ricky and then down the aisle where he was looking. As soon as the guys saw Amy looking at them they quickly tried to get away, bumping into each other in their haste to get out of the embarrassing situation they found themselves in. "The nerve of some guys," Ricky muttered, although Amy heard him. She smiled and kissed his cheek, confusing him slightly. When he gave her a questioning look she giggled and leaned in to kiss him properly.

"Thanks for defending my honor, so to speak," she explained with a smile. Ricky leaned forward this time and kissed her.

"Anytime, angel." Amy pointed to one of the ornaments she'd been examining moments before.

"Do you think Margaret would like this one? I know she likes handmade trinkets and all that." Ricky smiled as he realized Amy wanted to get his mother a Christmas present.

"She'll love it," he assured her. Amy picked up the ornament and they made their way to the cash register. Amy paid for her purchase and they continued walking around the square. While they intended to just window shop, they ended up buying Christmas gifts for everyone in their families and had fun doing so. They rummaged through a few bins at a used bookstore, sampled fudges at the local candy shop, and got hot chocolate from the local coffee shop when the air started to chill a little after the sun went down. They listened to the band play for a little bit until Amy told Ricky she was getting cold. He gave her his jacket to wear and put his arm around her, holding her close as they made their way back towards their hotel. They rode the elevator to their third floor room and Ricky unlocked the door with the magnetic key. As Ricky shut the door behind them, he removed her jacket from Amy's shoulders and kissed her temple.

"You can have the shower first." She smiled her thanks and grabbed her overnight bag while Ricky sat on the bed and began channel surfing. As Amy shut the bathroom door behind her she leaned against it and took a deep breath in an effort to calm her rapid heartbeat. She turned on the shower and adjusted the temperature before stripping and stepping into the bathtub, closing the sliding shower door behind her.

_I shouldn't be this nervous. We've talked about it and I know we're not going to do anything and it's not like he's a total stranger; he's my __**boyfriend**__. We've been dating for nearly four months and I love the guy, not to mention I'm even more in love with him now than I was the night he asked me to be his girlfriend_ Amy mused with a smile as she lathered up. _So I shouldn't be so nervous about sharing a bed with him for one night. So why am I?_ She quickly rinsed off and shampooed her hair, realizing part of her nervousness stemmed from the fact they were all alone; her family members weren't nearby this time. _Relax, Amy. You're seventeen and a lot more mature than you were two years ago. Sharing a bed with your boyfriend. Just…take a deep breath and stop freaking yourself out._ She rinsed her hair and turned off the shower. She quickly dried off and got dressed so Ricky could shower too. She opened the bathroom door and a small cloud of steam that smelled like her shampoo wafted out with her. Ricky turned at the sound and gave her a smile before grabbing his overnight bag and heading into the bathroom. Amy sat on the left side of the bed and dug out her comb to begin detangling her hair.

In the bathroom Ricky was trying hard to quickly figure out what was going on with his emotions as he turned on the shower and adjusted the temperature. _I don't think I've ever been jealous like I was tonight_ he thought worriedly as he stripped and got into the shower. _When I was with Adrian I didn't want her to see other guys at one point but even though I knew she cheated on me I never __**did**__ anything to the other guys. But the second I see another guy flirting with Amy all I wanna do is bash the guy's face in?_ he wondered as he lathered up. _I know she loves me too much to ever hurt me by cheating on me and I know she's too much in love with me to even __**think**__ of seeing someone else right now_ he reasoned as he rinsed off. _So why'd I get so jealous? Where'd it come from? _he wondered with frustration as he rinsed off and then turned off the water. _Does being in love __**make**__ you jealous or is it something else?_ he asked himself as he dried off and put on a t-shirt, clean boxers and a pair of sweatpants. He opened the bathroom door and saw Amy sitting on the bed combing out her hair. She looked up at the sound of the door opening and gave him a small smile. He returned it before dropping his bag just outside the door and bending down to fish out his toothbrush and toothpaste. Amy grabbed her own and the two of them brushed their teeth. They brushed their teeth in silence and then Amy used the hotel blow dryer to dry her hair. As Ricky climbed into bed, it all struck him as very ordinary and domestic, two people brushing their teeth and getting ready for bed together. And yet somehow getting ready for bed with Amy just felt…..well he couldn't put his finger on it but he knew it was on the tip of his tongue. Amy turned off the bathroom light and climbed into bed.

"Do I get a goodnight kiss," he asked her playfully. Amy leaned over and kissed him soundly on the lips.

"Goodnight, Ricky."

"Goodnight, Amy." He turned off the lamp and they drifted off to sleep.


	24. Peace and Pain

When Ricky woke up he felt strange. He hadn't felt this relaxed, warm, safe and…content in…well since the last time he'd woken up next to Amy. His eyes slowly fluttered open and he was slightly confused as his brain began to register that he wasn't in his own bed and there was a warm sensation over most of his body. He looked down and smiled as his brain woke up and he realized **exactly** why he felt so warm and safe. At some point during the night he and Amy had migrated to the middle of the bed from their respective sides and Amy had somehow ended up snuggled against him, her head on his chest with her left leg between his. His right hand had also become intertwined with her left and their joined hands were resting over his heart while his left arm was securely around her shoulder, holding her close to him. Ricky had seen Amy sleeping before but never this up close and personal. Her face looked positively angelic, relaxed and smooth without a worry in the world. Her hair was spread out on the pillow behind her as though a gentle breeze had styled it and Ricky could feel that her entire body was relaxed. He listened to the sound of her soft breathing and focused on the small amount of warmth that traveled across his t-shirt with each exhale. In that moment his heart swelled with so much love and admiration for the young woman beside him that two things became crystal clear to him. One, he was going to marry this woman and spend the rest of his life with her. Two, He would use every last breath in his body and beat of his heart to make sure no one ever hurt her ever again. As this second thought resounded in his mind Ricky suddenly understood why he'd become so jealous on two occasions last night: he loved Amy so much that he felt compelled to protect her, including from the lustful, leering eyes of other guys. He leaned over and kissed her forehead gently, not wanting to wake her just yet. He glanced over at the hotel clock on the nightstand behind Amy and saw that it was only 6:30. _A couple more hours won't hurt_ he thought as he drifted back to sleep.

Back in Adrian's hospital room Ben was just waking up. He woke up confused as well although he believed it was due to the horrible nightmare he'd had. In Ben's nightmare, his little girl had been stillborn, taken from him before her time. In his nightmare he and Adrian had wept until they thought they had no tears left, only to weep fresh tears as they watched each of their family members and friends learn that Mercy was gone before they'd ever gotten a chance to know and love her. And each time the words were said out loud he and Adrian had cried as though they were crying the tears for the first time. Adrian cried herself to sleep more than once and he'd felt lost, wanting so badly o make her feel better but not knowing how to do that when he was grieving too. Ben blinked several times to get his eyes to focus and he noticed that he was in an unfamiliar room and there was a warm weight against his chest. He looked down and noticed that his arms were around Adrian, who was lying in a hospital bed in a hospital gown. Suddenly his brain registered that his nightmare was a reality and his mind, almost on autopilot and against his will, began replaying the events of yesterday: the call from Adrian, the silent ultrasound, the silent baby monitor, Adrian giving birth to their dead daughter, the tears, the tears, the heartbreak, the deep sense of loss, holding Mercy and dreaming about what could have and should have been, the tears, seeing his friends' happy faces and watching them dissolve into tears at the tragic news, trying to console Adrian until she fell asleep. It was all real and their lives would never be the same. Ben had felt drained when he'd finally drifted off to sleep late last night and he still felt drained this morning. He didn't know what time it was but the darkness outside told him that it was early. He glanced down at Adrian and saw that she was still sound asleep. _A little more sleep will do us both some good._ Ben closed his eyes and waited for sleep to reclaim him.

2 hours later, Ricky woke up again, smiling when he noticed that he and Amy were still in the same position. Seeing that it was now 8:30 and the breakfast buffet would be closed in an hour, Ricky kissed Amy's forehead again. He was about to tell her to wake up when her eyes instead fluttered open at the slight pressure of his lips against her skin. Amy blinked to focus her vision and the first thing she saw was her left hand intertwined with Ricky's she became aware of how close they really were and blushed. Ricky saw her reaction and, knowing the reason for it, chuckled as he kissed her forehead again.

"Morning, angel."

"Morning," she mumbled shyly. She began to scoot away from him. "Sorry," she said, still blushing.

"Don't be. It was nice to wake up next to you like this," he told her honestly, which only made Amy blush a deeper shade of red. Ricky sighed. "Don't read too much into this, Amy. So we woke up snuggled together. We didn't do anything wrong." Amy gave him a small smile and nodded. "The breakfast buffet closes in an hour. What do you say we go down in our pajamas and eat and then come back and dressed?"

"Sounds good," Amy agreed. They slipped on their shoes and the robes the hotel provided and headed down for breakfast. "So how far is the school from here?" Amy asked once they were seated with their breakfast in front of them.

"Not too far. Maybe fifteen minutes, depending on traffic," he told her before taking a bite of one of his French toast sticks. Amy nodded and took a couple bites of her scrambled eggs and hash browns.

"I hope John wasn't too much of a handful," Amy said thoughtfully.

"I checked my phone this morning. I'm sure if your parents or Ashley had had any problems one of 'em would've texted us," he assured her. Amy nodded absently.

"I know. I just…..I don't like being away from him. It's why I still call the nursery during lunch to check on him. I don't know how my mom did it."

"Did what?' he asked, taking a sip of his apple juice. Amy stabbed her eggs like they'd committed a crime.

"Camp and things. If I'm still this worried about John when he's out of my sight how much of a wreck am I gonna be when he goes to preschool? Or wants to spend the night at a friend's house? Or wants to go to summer camp somewhere? Or even just goes on a class trip?" she wondered fearfully. Ricky reached across the table and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze.

"Amy, all parents go through separation anxiety. I don't know how they deal with it as their kids get older but at some point you gotta trust that you've raised your kids the best you can and that they'll be alright. We can't protect them forever, even if we want to." Amy started to tear up. "Sweetie, I can only image how hard it must be for mothers since you carried the kid inside you for the better part of a year and you're with them most of the day every day. Just know that you're not the only one worrying about him." Amy looked up from her plate at Ricky and saw him smiling at her. "I miss him too." Seeing that Amy was feeling a little better, Ricky made a suggestion. "You know, we can just skip the official tour and have our own shortened version if you want. That way we can get back sooner." Amy shook her head.

"No. We came to look around the campus and learn a little about it so that's what we should do. Besides, if you **do** decide to go here next year you'll have a head start this way." Ricky gave her a loving smile, once again struck by how kindhearted and considerate his girlfriend was.

"Ok."

"Ok," Amy agreed. They finished their breakfast quickly and headed back upstairs to get dressed and packed up. Ricky again let Amy have the bathroom first so she could get changed. Once the bathroom door closed he quickly got changed and packed up his pajamas and toiletries. He checked his phone again and saw that he hadn't received any new texts or voicemails. He was just slipping on his shoes when Amy emerged from the bathroom. Seeing that Ricky was already dressed, Amy quickly put her pajamas and toiletries in her overnight bag so they could head out. Ricky held the door for her as they left their room and then they headed for the elevator. Amy checked her phone on the short ride down and was relieved that neither her parents nor Ashley had sent her a text. They checked out and headed to Ricky's car. She smiled as he once again opened her door for her and then shut it once she was settled. _My guy's such a gentleman_ she mused. Ricky quickly got in and they were on their way. True to Ricky's prediction, they arrived at the campus thirteen minutes later. Ricky had already mapped out were the visitors' center was and so he had no trouble finding it. Once parked, he and Amy made their way inside where Ricky asked the person behind the counter where he needed to go to take the campus tour. The young man directed Ricky to a nearby lounge and told him their guide would be with them shortly. Ricky and Amy joined twelve other people in the lounge. Amy browsed a magazine about the campus while Ricky looked over her shoulder. They quietly conversed until a young woman entered the lounge.

"Good morning." There was a small chorus of good mornings in response. "My name is Jackie and I'll be your guide today," she told the group with a smile. "If you'll all follow me, we'll be on our way." The little group followed Jackie outside and the tour began. Jackie named various buildings on the campus along with the majors housed in each. Since each potential student could sign up ahead of time, Jackie made sure to give the group a tour of each building or series of buildings that housed the potential major of each potential student in her little group. Amy marveled at the business school. It had its own library, computer lab, coffee stand, and study areas. The group also got to tour several of the campus's dining halls, dormitories, libraries and resource buildings. Jackie showed them the student center and even the sports arena. Along the way the group was also given lots of history tidbits about the school itself and several of its buildings. The tour lasted for an hour and included a free lunch at one of the dining centers and Ricky received a bag full of all sorts of goodies, everything from a campus map to free school spirit items. After the tour ended and Amy and Ricky headed to his car, Amy hugged his arm.

"I'm so proud of you," she said tearfully. Hearing the tears in her voice, Ricky thought she was crying about him being so far away again. He stopped and turned her to face him.

"Amy…" he began, but she shook her head.

"I mean it, Ricky. This campus is beautiful and has everything you need to help you get your business degree. I'm so proud of you for getting accepted here and I know now that you're gonna be just fine here. John and I will be fine too," she assured him. "Yes, I'll miss you but it's like you said. You're only a phone call, text or video chat away. And it's not like you can't come visit on weekends or for holidays," she continued explaining. "We'll be okay. **I'll** be okay. You **earned** this Ricky and you deserve it." Ricky just looked at her dumbfounded. He'd been trying to reassure Amy that him going to college next year wouldn't be a tragedy. And even though he hadn't decided for sure to attend this university, somehow in the span of a one hour tour Amy decided to put her feelings aside for his sake? _How'd I get so lucky?_ He pulled her close and kissed her.

"I love you, Amy Juergens."

"I love you too, Ricky Underwood."

Back in LA, Adrian was silently eating her lunch from her hospital tray. A nurse had woken her up a little after 9 to check her vitals and found that her blood pressure was a little low. Her IV bag was changed to help bring up her pressure and the nurse had been checking her vitals every half hour to make sure her numbers were returning to normal. In between checkups, and a trip to the bathroom, she had simply been lying in bed lost in her own thoughts. She knew that Ben was still in the room with her and her parents and Leo had all come by the see her that morning but all Adrian wanted was to be left alone. Even now she was only eating so the nurse wouldn't harass her to take care of herself. Ben had told her late last night when she'd woken up that Grace and Tom had come by to see her but Leo had told them it wasn't a good time for visitors but right now, besides her mother, who she knew couldn't stay with her all day, Adrian really wanted to see Grace. As if in answer to her prayer, there was a knock at the door. Ben looked up and saw Grace's face through the window and motioned for her to come in. Adrian sat up straighter and Grace walked to her bedside to hug her. Not knowing what to say, Grace simply embraced her best friend and hoped her presence and the hug they were sharing would be enough; it was. Ben quietly excused himself as the two friends grieved together. While Grace comforted Adrian, Ricky and Amy were headed back to LA, listening to their favorite smooth jazz station.

"Maybe we could bring John up here one weekend to visit that little town," Amy suggested absently as Ricky drove out of the town towards the freeway onramp.

"Sure. It could be our first family road trip," he said with a smile. As Ricky pulled onto the freeway Amy's cell rang. She saw that it was Grace and smiled.

"Hi, Grace. What's up?" Grace sniffled and Amy became worried. "What's wrong, Grace?" Her words piqued Ricky's curiosity but he had to focus on driving.

"Oh, Amy, it's awful!"

"What happened?"

"It's Ben and Adrian." She paused to sniffle again. "Amy, they lost the baby." Amy gasped and covered her mouth, tears springing to her eyes.

"Oh no," she said, the words slightly muffled by her hand. She removed her hand to speak to Grace. "What happened?" she asked, her voice cracking. Ricky suddenly became alarmed at the sound of Amy's tears and pulled off to the side of the road, turning on his emergency lights and cutting the engine.

"The baby was stillborn." Amy choked on a sob.

"What's wrong, Amy?" Ricky urgently whispered to her. Amy turned her tear-streaked face to Ricky but didn't have a chance to respond as Grace continued speaking.

"They're both grieving right now and I don't know how to help them except to pray for them and visit Adrian. I've just been hugging her while she cries most of the day and she cried herself to sleep a little while ago. Amy, I think you should come see her."

"Me?"

"Yeah. I know you two don't have the best history but of all of us you're the only one who's been pregnant. You may not know **exactly** what she's going through but you can empathize with her better than I can and I really think she could use that right now."

"I don't know, Grace," Amy said hesitantly.

"Please, Amy? She's really hurting," Grace pleaded tearfully. Amy looked at Ricky, not sure what to do.

"Grace, I need some time," Amy finally responded.

"Ok. I understand. I should go check on her. Bye, Amy."

"Bye, Grace." They ended the call and Amy looked at Ricky, torn about what to do about Adrian and desperately needing comfort herself at the moment. Ricky unbuckled their seatbelts and pulled Amy onto his lap. As soon as his arms were around her Amy burst into tears and sobbed into the crook of his neck.

"Amy, what happened?" he pleaded, needing to know what had upset her so he would know how to comfort her.

"They lost the baby," she said quietly. Ricky's heart stopped for a beat and he pulled back a little so he could look Amy in the eye and make sure he'd heard her right.

"What?" Amy wiped her wet cheeks.

"Grace just told me the baby was stillborn." Amy watched Ricky's stunned expression slowly dissolve as her words registered and his eyes began to fill with tears. They stared at each other, silently communicating the same thoughts: It could've been them. They could've lost John. They embraced each other tightly and sobbed together. When their tears finally dried, Ricky noticed the clock on the dashboard. There was no way he'd be able to get back in time for work. He pulled out his cellphone and called the Butcher Shop.

"Boykewich Butcher Shop, Bunny speaking."

"Bunny, it's Ricky," he managed to get out, his voice sounding raw and foreign to his own ears.

"What happened?" Bunny asked with alarm, picking up on his tumultuous tone.

"Do you know?"

"Know what?" she asked with confusion.

"About Ben and Adrian?"

"What about them?" Ricky sighed. It really wasn't his place to tell her but he also had to explain why he'd be late to work today. "Ricky, what about them?" she asked a little more forcefully. Ricky took a deep breath.

"They lost the baby." Bunny gasped. "Amy and I went up the coast last night and planned to be back in time for work. But we just found out and we've been sitting here for a while….tryna deal with it and by now I know I won't make it back in time to start my shift on time," he explained. Bunny quickly transitioned back into work mode.

"Listen to me, Ricky. If you're not truly up to driving right now then I don't want you trying to rush to get back here on time. Getting yourself killed won't do anybody any good. Do you hear me?"

"Yes, ma'am," he said. Bunny inwardly sighed with relief.

"You just take your time and I'll see you tomorrow."

"Thanks, Bunny."

"You're welcome. Tomorrow."

"Okay."

"Okay. Bye now." Bunny hung up and Ricky put his phone back in his coat pocket. Amy realized she'd need to call the daycare center as well and took out her phone, trying to compose herself as she speed dialed the center.

"Little Cherubs Daycare, Diane speaking."

"Diane, it's Amy," she attempted to say evenly. Diane picked up on the change in her voice.

"What's wrong honey?" she asked with concern.

"I just got some bad news and I'm a little torn up about it. I might be a little late to work today."

"Never you mind about that, sweetie. Did you want me to phone your mom or dad and have them pick up John for you?"

"No!" Amy said emphatically, catching both Diane and Ricky off guard. "I mean, no thanks. I'll come get him." She looked at Ricky and he nodded in understanding. Right now the only thing both of them wanted to do was see and hold their son.

"Alright then, sweetie. You come get your little man as soon as you can and then you just take the rest of the day and deal with whatever you need to deal with, okay?"

"Thanks, Diane."

"No problem, honey. We'll see you soon."

"Ok. Bye." Amy ended the call and climbed off Ricky's lap. They buckled themselves back in and Ricky restarted the car. He carefully pulled back into traffic and then reached for Amy's hand. They drove back to LA in silence, holding each other's hand tightly for emotional support. When they reentered the city limits, Ricky drove straight to the daycare center. He parked and they both went inside to pick up John. Diane gave them both a sympathetic smile when she noticed that their eyes were still a little red from crying. When they went to John's play room, he smiled when he spotted them and got up to run to them. They ran towards him as well and Amy scooped him up, hugging him tightly, and Ricky quickly put his arms around both of them. They stood like that for several moments, fresh tears falling from their eyes. John tried to pull away from Amy slightly.

"Mommy, why cwying?" he asked with confusion. Amy and Ricky simply kissed his cheeks. Jennifer and Naomi approached them, sympathy on their faces.

"Amy," Jennifer said gently, causing Amy to look at her. "Diane explained. You take as much time as you need, okay?" Amy nodded gratefully and then she and Ricky turned to collect John's things and leave. As Amy buckled John into his car seat he asked her his question again.

"Mommy, why cwying?" Amy kissed his forehead.

"Mommy's happy to see you, baby," she explained. She walked around to the other side of the car and got into the back seat so she could sit next to John. As Ricky drove them home, Amy held onto John's hand. Once they reached the house, Amy quickly got out and unbuckled John, needing to have him in her arms. She carried him up to the house and unlocked the front door, Ricky following her inside. Moose barked happily and trotted over to meet them at the door, whimpering when he sensed Amy's sadness. Once the door was shut, she took Ricky's hand and led him to the living room, Moose tagging along. Ricky sat down and took off his shoes. He turned so his back was against one arm of the couch and put his left leg against the back of the couch. Amy slipped off her shoes and sat with her back against his chest and her legs stretched out in front of her. Amy leaned John against her with his legs facing towards the coffee table and cradled his head against her chest with her left hand. Ricky wrapped his arms around them both and held them tightly while Moose laid down and watched them carefully. John waved at Moose for a moment.

"Mommy, why we snuggling?" John asked curiously, looking up at his mother.

"Mommy and daddy had a bad day and we just need to snuggle with you for a little while, okay?" she explained. Her explanation was enough for John.

"'Kay." He snuggled into Amy more comfortably and Amy leaned her head against John's forehead for a moment. She looked up at Ricky and he leaned forward to kiss her forehead before staring into her eyes. They were both thinking the same things and they each saw their own fears and questions reflected in the other's eyes. What would their lives be like if John wasn't there? What kind of people would they be? Would they still have fallen in love? Would they have found their way back to each other? They both also saw the same guilt in each other's eyes. Guilt that they were happy their son had been born healthy. Guilt that it hadn't been them who had lost their baby. But also guilt that they got to experience the joys of being a parent. That their child had lived long enough to take his first breath, first step, say his first word. They had gotten to hear their child laugh and watch him play while Ben and Adrian never would. They both sighed deeply and pressed their foreheads together for several moments.

"We done snuggling, mommy?" John asked, causing his parents to smile down at him sadly. John looked back at them with confusion. Ricky leaned down around Amy to kiss the top of John's head.

"Not yet, buddy. A little bit longer," Ricky said.

"'Kay," John replied, resting his head once more against his mother's chest. George and Ashley came home just then and Moose barked and ran over to the door to greet them.

"Hey, boy," George said with a smile. Moose whined and turned so he was facing the living room, looking back at George expectantly. "What is it, boy?" Moose headed to the couch and then turned to face George. George and Ashley came into the living room and saw Ricky and Amy snuggling with John. George also noticed their sad expressions.

"Hi gwanpa. We snuggling," John said as he greeted his grandfather and then felt compelled to explain the situation. George nodded.

"I see. What's going on you two?" George asked with concern, lowering himself to the loveseat, Ashley joining him. Amy looked down at John and then covered his ear with her hand before answering.

"I got a call from Grace this afternoon," Amy paused to sniffle. "She told me Adrian and Ben lost the baby," Ashley gasped with shock and George became a little misty eyed. He may not have liked the way Adrian had treated Amy but he wouldn't wish the death of a child on anyone.

"What happened?" Ashley asked, her voice cracking from unshed tears."

"Grace said the baby was stillborn," Amy told her before placing a tender kiss on John's head. John suddenly stiffened and jerked upright.

"I wet!" he exclaimed with alarm. Ricky sat up pulled his left leg out from beside Amy.

"Come on, buddy," Ricky said, holding his arms out for Amy to transfer John to him. Ricky carried his son to the bathroom so he could use his potty, intending to then take him upstairs and get him a clean pair of pull-ups afterwards. Amy wrapped her arms around herself and looked at her father.

"Grace thinks I should go visit Adrian." Ashley looked at her with confusion.

"Why you?"

"Grace figures that of all of us teens, I'm the only one's who's been pregnant so even if I can't understand exactly what she's going through, I can at least empathize with her the most."

"Are you gonna do it?" Ashley asked curiously. Amy shook her head briefly.

"I don't know if I can. Part of me feels guilty that my baby lived and hers didn't so I'm not sure exactly what I'd say to her. Other than I'm sorry and that just seems so inadequate, you know?"

"Amy, you have nothing to feel guilty about," George assured her. Amy nodded to let him know she heard what he said and understood.

"While part of me wants to go comfort her, right now all I wanna do is hold my baby." George got up and joined her on the couch, giving her a side hug.

"That's a perfectly normal reaction, Ames. You can always go see her when you're ready." Ashley suddenly realized something.

"Hey where's the SUV anyway?" Amy looked at her with confusion for a minute before she realized Ashley had a point. It would be hard to visit Adrian at the hospital without a vehicle.

"It's still at the butcher shop. We drove straight to the nursery when we got back and then came straight here," she explained.

"We'll get your car later," George assured her. John came running back into the living room, Ricky not far behind him.

"Mommy, I went in my potty!" he said proudly! Amy smiled at him as she picked him up and kissed his cheek.

"That's my big boy," she praised him.

"Can I have snack now?" he asked. "Pwease?" he added, remembering his manners. Amy nodded.

"Sure, baby." She held his hand and waited for Ricky to take the other. Together the three of them walked into the kitchen. George turned towards Ashley.

"Feel like getting in some more practice?" Ashley nodded eagerly. She'd been driving around with her dad for the past couple of hours, capitalizing on the fact she had the day off from school. George handed her the keys and then fished Amy's car keys out of her purse, which was currently sitting on the coffee table. The keys retrieved, they headed out to the driveway and Ashley drove them to the furniture store. They headed towards the office area in search of Anne. George spotted here and they headed in her direction. "We've got a little situation," George said once he was standing beside her.

"What kind of situation?" George took her elbow and led her to his office and then shut the door behind them. Ashley took a seat in one of the chairs in front of his desk while George filled Anne in on what had happened. "So we need to go pick up Amy's car and I figure we might as well let Ash get some driving experience in the process.

"How so?" Anne asked, with confusion.

"I'll let her drive us to the butcher shop to get Amy's car," he explained, pulling Amy's keys out of his pants pocket. "We'll follow you back to the house as you drive it home then Ash can drive us all back to the store. Then she can drive the two of us to pick up Robbie and we'll meet you at home." Ashley was trying to hide her excitement. She was getting the hang of driving and as far as she was concerned the more time she got behind the wheel the easier she'd be able to pass he driving test. While it was unfortunate that such a sad situation was behind why she was about to be given the chance to drive all over town, she would take what she could get. Anne agreed and the Juergens family headed out to retrieve Amy's car, Ashley at the wheel.


	25. Goodbye Angel

Ruben was sitting on the couch in his living room just trying to wrap his head around what had happened to his daughter. His phone startled him when it rang.

"Hello?" he answered numbly.

"Is this Mr. Ruben Enriquez?" came a polite but somber voice on the other end.

"Yes. Who is this?"

"My name is Peter Richards. I work at the morgue of Glendale Memorial Hospital." Ruben had to stifle a sob.

"And what can I do for you, Mr. Richards?"

"Well, sir. We've spoken to your daughter concerning where she would like us to send her daughter's remains and she refuses to answer. You are listed as one of her emergency contacts so I am calling to obtain that information from you." Ruben was silent for a moment. He hadn't even **thought** about what to do with Mercy's body, still trying to absorb the fact his granddaughter was dead. It had only been two days! Did the hospital honestly expect him to have made funeral arrangements already!? "Mr. Enriquez?"

"We're gonna need a few more days," he replied, merely to give himself more time to think. He had no idea what Adrian's wishes would be for Mercy's funeral. Or even Ben's for that matter.

"Very well, sir. I can give you the morgue's direct number so you can call us when you've settled on the arrangements."

"Thank you." Ruben copied down the number on a spare piece of scrap paper lying on the coffee table and then ended the call. He sighed deeply and leaned back against the couch. Two years ago he never would've imagined he'd be thinking about his granddaughter's funeral arrangements. Ruben wearily rose from the couch and headed to the kitchen to retrieve his car keys. He knew the wound was still fresh but he needed to speak to Adrian and Ben. This wasn't something he could decide on his own; this concerned **their** daughter.

When Ruben arrived at the hospital he found Adrian lying down and starring off into space, Ben sitting in a nearby armchair watching Adrian sadly. Neither of them even bothered to look up when he came in the room, assuming he was just another nurse or hospital worker. Seeing the two of them so crushed and lost broke his heart and tears threatened to spill from his eyes. He heard footsteps behind him and turned his head just in time to see Leo appear in the doorway. Ruben silently motioned for Leo to follow him outside and then he shut the door behind them.

"How are they doing today?" Leo asked, his voice drawn and sad. Ruben shrugged and shook his head.

"I don't know, Leo. They're both still trying to process what happened." Ruben sagged against the wall and sighed. "Unfortunately, they're gonna have to deal with it before their ready."

"What do you mean?" Leo asked, not understanding what Ruben meant.

"I got a call from the morgue today." Leo tensed at the word 'morgue', his emotions still raw about losing his granddaughter the way he had. "They said someone asked Adrian where she wanted Mercy's body transported to and she refused to answer. So they called me since I'm listed as an emergency contact." Ruben sighed and Leo placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, the small gesture causing Ruben's composure to crumble and the tears began to fall. "I told the guy we needed a few more days because I didn't know what else to tell him," Ruben said, wiping at his wet cheeks in vain. "Two years ago it never would've even **occurred** to me that I'd be asked to plan my granddaughter's funeral," he sobbed. "And this isn't something I can just plan on my own. I mean, Mercy is their daughter. I don't know how they want her to be remembered because none of us got to even meet her! But they're both so broken right now, Leo, that I also can't bring myself to bring it up, even though that's why I came back here today." Leo embraced him and the two men cried together for several minutes, Ruben sobbing openly while Leo cried silently. As their tears began drying, Dr. Atavi came down the hallway and saw them. Her heart broke at the sight and she walked over to speak to them before she went into Adrian's room to check on her.

"Leo. Reuben," she said gently. The men separated and looked at her. "Here," she said, handing them each a business card. Leo sniffled.

"What's this?"

"It's the number to a family counselor who specializes in helping families heal from sudden and/or tragic loss. We all know that healing takes time and sometimes the length of time required is years," she stated, giving them both a small, sad, empathetic smile. "And sometimes a therapist can help you talk about it when you don't really want to or think you can. I also know that family and friends help the healing process but you all may have a hard time being there for each other while you're still healing yourselves." She pointed to the business card she had handed them. "She offers both family group sessions as well as individual ones." Ruben gave her a watery smile.

"Thank you." Dr. Atavi nodded her head and then went into Adrian's room to speak with her and Ben about the therapist as well. Leo and Ruben followed her inside, knowing they needed to discuss Mercy's funeral arrangements, even if Ben and Adrian weren't ready to.

At Grant High, Amy, Ricky, Grant, Grace, Ashley and Griffin were all rather somber, Ashley having filled Griffin in on what happened to Ben and Adrian's baby. Ricky silently watched Amy as she placed her jacket and purse in her locker.

"You look tired," he remarked quietly. "I take it you couldn't sleep last night either." Amy shook her head and began to cry.

"I just feel so guilty, Ricky," she admitted. "All night I just watched John sleep and tried to imagine my life without him. I know our lives aren't as easy as our friends' or other teens but even with all the hard stuff and the side of parenting that's not glamorous, I wouldn't change it for anything," she admitted tearfully, reaching for Ricky and wrapping her arms around his waist as she cried. "Does it make me a bad person that I'm glad it wasn't me?" Ricky shook his head as he hugged her back.

"No. It just makes us human." Amy looked up at him and he stared right back. They closed their eyes with a sigh and rested their foreheads together. Down the hall Madison had spotted them and rushed over, eager to tell them her wonderful news.

"Amy! Ricky! Guess what!? I…" she stopped mid-sentence when she noticed Amy's tears and their sad expressions. She was instantly worried.

"What happened!?" she asked, her voice sounding slightly panicked. Amy and Ricky looked at each other, silently debating if they should tell Madison or not. They agreed that they could trust her and Amy turned back to look at her best friend. She glanced around to make sure no one else was within earshot and then motioned for Madison to lean in closer to her, which Madison did.

"Grace called and told me Adrian and Ben's daughter was stillborn." Madison gasped and covered her mouth, tears springing to her eyes. Sure she didn't exactly respect Adrian for her past behavior but still Madison wouldn't have wished that upon anyone. "Grace thinks I should visit her and try to comfort her and I'm torn about it," Amy admitted sadly. Madison pulled Amy out of Ricky's arms so she could hug her.

"You'll do what you think is right; you always do," Madison assured her before releasing her and drying her eyes. "Does anyone else know?" Madison asked worriedly. "About…" she let her question trail off.

"Just Ashley because I had to explain to her and my dad why we were so upset. And she probably told Griffin by now since he's her best friend."

"So Lauren doesn't know?"

"Know what?" Lauren asked, walking up to the little group. She took one look at everyone's faces and was instantly worried. "What happened?" she asked, looking between everyone. Madison whispered the situation in her ear and Lauren's eyes began to become misty too. She looked over at Amy.

"I think you should, Amy. She may not be a friend but she's not a stranger either and I'm sure she could use all the support and kindness she can get right now. Besides, you're probably the only one who could even **begin** to understand what she must be going through." Amy nodded.

"That's basically what Grace said when she called me." The warning bell rang and the teens glanced around the hallways at their fellow students heading towards their classrooms. Amy sighed. "It just seems so insensitive for everyone to go on with their day when something like this has happened," she said sadly as the foursome headed their separate ways, Amy and Ricky both heading towards the band room. He put his arm comfortingly around her shoulder as they walked.

Back at the hospital Dr. Atavi had just finished telling Ben and Adrian about the family therapist she had already recommended to their fathers.

"I don't wanna talk about it," Adrian said, her voice sounding raw and jagged.

"We know, Adrian," her father began gently, Adrian swiveled her head to look at him and glared.

"NO YOU DON'T KNOW!" she bellowed, fresh tears beginning to fall. "I JUST LOST MY **BABY**! NO AMOUNT OF TALKING TO A STRANGER IS GONNA BRING HER BACK!" she wailed, dissolving into tears. Ben made a move to go hug her but Ruben waved him off. Ruben sat on the bed next to Adrian and held her tightly.

"Adrian, I can't begin to image what you're feeling exactly, that's true. That doesn't mean I don't understand that you're not ready to talk about what you're feeling or even what happened just two days ago." Ruben pulled back so he could look at Adrian's face. "Not talking about it doesn't change the reality, sweetheart. And the reality is," he began, tears beginning to fall down his own cheeks. "Mercy was taken away from you. And Ben, and Leo, and me, and your mom, and even your and Ben's friends. We're **all** hurting, Adrian. But you can't pretend it didn't happen. I can't pretend I didn't get a call from the morgue today asking me what plans have been made for my granddaughter's funeral," he explained. Adrian flinched at the words 'morgue' and 'funeral' and then dissolved into sobs again as her father's words set in. She had to make plans to bury her daughter. Ben likewise dissolved into tears and Leo held him tightly. Ben clung to his father as though he were a lifeline and simply sobbed. "This isn't something I can do for you, Adrian. For a little while at least, you're gonna have to face reality, even if you're not ready to talk to a stranger about it," Ruben informed her. Adrian and her father simply stared at each other for a moment before they once again hugged each other tightly, waiting for the tears to stop.

There was a knock at Adrian's door and Cindy walked in, still in her flight attendant's uniform. She took one look at the red eyes and wet cheeks of the people in the room and felt her own courageous façade slipping. She'd managed to hold it together by sheer willpower as she worked her shift last night. She'd informed her superiors that there had been a death in her family but she found out so close to her shift that there was no time to shuffle any attendants around and Cindy had been forced to fly to New York the evening after they lost Mercy. She'd been able to switch flights with an attendant so she could fly right back and she now had an additional week of bereavement leave on top of the two weeks she'd already scheduled to take off to help Adrian adjust to having Mercy home. She walked in and made a beeline for Adrian's bed, kissing her forehead as she sat down. Dr. Atavi gave Cindy a smile and then left the room so the family could have some privacy. Ruben filled Cindy in on Dr. Atavi's suggestion they all speak to a therapist and the phone call he'd received from the morgue. Like her husband, Cindy was at a loss. Her only thoughts over the past two days had been to comfort Adrian as best she could; funeral arrangements hadn't even crossed her mind. Cindy looked down at Adrian and saw that her daughter wasn't in the mood to discuss it. The room was silent for several minutes as everyone simply tried to process the fact that they would soon be putting Mercy to rest, cementing the fact that this little girl wasn't coming back to them. Finally Leo offered a suggestion.

"Adrian." Adrian looked up at Leo numbly. "If you don't mind, I'd like to suggest we lay her to rest next to Sarah." Adrian looked at Ben and saw him looking gratefully back at his father. Adrian knew how much Ben's mother had meant to him and having them both buried together might help Ben deal with losing Mercy a little better. She also had the sudden thought that maybe if Mercy were buried next to her grandmother then Sarah could watch over her spirit. Or something. Adrian gave Leo a grateful, watery smile.

"I'd like that," she said sincerely. Leo cleared his throat and glanced between Adrian and Ben warily.

"What do you think should be written on her headstone?" He said the question out loud but Ruben and Cindy knew that this had to be Ben and Adrian's decision. Adrian wasn't sure what words to choose but Ben had no reservations.

"Mercy Sarah Boykewich-Lee. Our beloved little angel," Ben replied without any hesitation, his voice cracking slightly with emotion as he uttered the last word. Adrian began to silently cry. Somehow Ben had chosen words to describe exactly how she and Ben felt about their daughter. Despite the circumstances of her conception and that fact Adrian had contemplated abortion at the beginning, they loved their daughter and always would. When Leo looked at Adrian to see if she had any objections she simply nodded her agreement. Leo embraced Ben once more time and then nodded his head to say goodbye to Adrian and her parents. He left the room to begin making the arrangements for Mercy's funeral.

Back at Grant High, Grace, Grant, Alice and Henry were eating lunch, the atmosphere at their table rather subdued. Alice and Grace both looked close to tears and Henry still looked like he was in shock about the situation. Meanwhile Grant felt torn and upset by everything. He suddenly tossed down his sandwich with frustration and grunted with disgust. Grace turned to look at him questioningly and Grant looked away from her for a moment.

"It was an innocent baby!" he declared. "Sure she wasn't planned and her parents are teenagers but why kill an innocent baby!?" He turned to speak directly to Grace. "I know God allows bad things to happen to good people sometimes but why her? Why Mercy?" he demanded. Grace sighed as she gave her boyfriend a knowingly look.

"I don't know, Grant. Just like I don't know why God took my father from me," she told him honestly. "I just trust that he knows what he's doing and there is a reason things like this happen."

"Oh yeah? What kind of reason?" he asked sarcastically. Grace understood that he was lashing out and didn't take his tone personally.

"Grant, Mercy could've had a birth defect God was trying to spare Adrian and Ben from having to deal with. Or maybe God knew that something in their lives was going to hurt Mercy in the long run so he took her before she could get hurt. Or maybe God is going to use this tragedy to make them both stronger for something they'll have to deal with later in life. I don't **know** the answer, Grant, and I'm not **supposed** to." Her last statement caught him off guard.

"What do you mean?" he asked curiously.

"I mean that God created me, not the other way around. I didn't create the universe so I have no idea how everything in it works or is gonna play out. All I know is that he left me a book with enough directions and examples to teach and show me how to live the kinda life he wants me to and in that book he tells me that there's a much bigger picture that I can't see or even begin to comprehend. All I can do is follow where he leads me, trusting that he's got a plan for everything that happens and it will all work out the way it's supposed to in the end, even if I don't enjoy every part of the journey along the way." Grant had to pause for a moment and process her words. In the past he'd thought that people who said they had faith in someone they couldn't see where a few fries short of a happy meal. Then he met Grace and she showed him another way to look at God and people with faith in a higher power, regardless of what they called him or her. And now she'd just shown him another way to look at life itself. So maybe he didn't understand why a loving, just God would take the life of an innocent child but maybe he just wasn't seeing the big picture. Alice and Henry were likewise looking at Grace with a mixture of awe and contemplation. They didn't understand why their best friend was going through something so painful but maybe, just maybe, something good would come of all this. What that good thing was, however, they had no clue. In the courtyard Griffin was attempting to cheer up Ashley, or at least get her mind off Adrian, but he wasn't having much luck.

"Ash, if the doctors don't even know what causes it to happen and they have to go to school for like a decade to become a doctor, how are we supposed to figure it out during our lunch break?" Ashley shrugged.

"I don't know but I just feel like I wanna be able to give her an answer if she ever asked me," Ashley responded, playing with the French fires on her lunch tray.

"But why **would** she? I thought you hadn't spoken to her since your folks banned her from the property," he stated, pausing to take a bite of his hamburger.

"I don't know," she admitted with a deep sigh. "But when I **did** talk to Adrian we got along just fine and we might've become good friends. If I hadn't found out how much she was actually hurting my sister and all."

"You could send her a card or something," he suggested. "Your folks wouldn't object to that would they?"

"Maybe. But then again since she and I haven't spoken, she might wonder how I know, don't you think? And then that would just make things awkward and uncomfortable for everyone and she's got enough to deal with at the moment." Griffin looked at Ashley sympathetically. Most people might think Ashley was just another cynical, sarcastic, snarky teenager but Griffin knew that underneath the façade she liked to put up for people Ashley was really a warm and caring person. She doesn't like it when people she cares about get hurt or are hurting and she does what she can to try and fix the problem. Behind the scenes of course; Ash wasn't one who liked having her good qualities pointed out, preferring people to be wary of her until she knew she could trust them. In another shaded area of the courtyard sat Amy, Madison, Lauren, Ricky, Justin and Jesse, also eating their lunches rather quietly.

"What's with you guys today?" Justin asked the table, taking a bite of his cheeseburger. "Why the long faces?"

"We recently got some bad news," Ricky said, not bothering to elaborate.

"Anything we can do to help?" Jesse asked. Amy gave him a small smile.

"No, but thanks for asking." Amy looked down the table at Madison. "What were you going to tell us earlier this morning, Madison?" Amy asked, dipping her spoon into her Yoplait container of yogurt and swirling the yogurt and fruit around. Madison looked at her blankly for a moment as she tried to recall and then her face lit up with pride.

"Oh yeah. I wanted to tell you that I got a solo in the Christmas concert." The mood at the table suddenly lightened.

"That's great, Madison!" Amy said, giving her friend a smile. Justin beamed proudly but remained silent since Madison had already told him the news.

"So what are you gonna be singing?" Jesse asked curiously, taking a bite of his apple. Madison smiled brightly.

"O Holy Night," she replied, taking a drink from her can of soda.

"That's great, Madison," Lauren said with a smile before turning to look at Amy and Ricky.

"Where in the program will that song be?" she asked before taking a bite of her chicken sandwich.

"Towards the middle I think?" Amy replied, looking at Ricky for confirmation.

"I think so," he answered her. "I'll have to double check the packet." Jesse turned to look across the table at Lauren.

"So is the Nutcracker before or after the showcase?" he asked her.

"Before," Lauren replied. "They scheduled the ballet recitals and the nutcracker first so the little kids wouldn't get antsy waiting for the concert to finish," she explained. The teens continued eating their lunches, chatting about the upcoming Christmas events and school break.

Back at the Boykewich residence, Leo had just ended a call with the funeral home that had handled Sarah's funeral. He placed the phone back in its cradle and sighed just as there was a knock at the door.

"Come in," he answered, his voice sounding tired. Betty walked in and shut the door behind her. She walked over to his desk and sat on it, facing his chair.

"How are you holding up, Leo?" she asked, her voice filled with concern. Leo gave her a tired smile.

"As well as could be expected I guess." His smile fell and he took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "I just got off the phone with the funeral home." Betty rose to stand behind his desk chair and gave him a hug. "Thanks, Betty." She moved back so she was once again sitting on his desk and in his line of sight.

"Is there anything I can do to help? I mean, I'm not really sure what my role is in this situation but I'd like to help out anyway I can." Leo reached for her left hand and leaned down to kiss the back of it.

"Just being here is enough for me, Betty. As for Ben." There was a pregnant pause as Leo looked off into space for a moment. "That's just gonna take time. A long, long time. All we can do is let him know we love him and we're here to help in any way we can," he told her with a sad little smile. Betty nodded and then slid off the desk to sit in Leo's lap. She put her arms around his neck and he put his arms around her. They sat there for a while just taking comfort in each other's presence.

At the butcher shop, Bunny was busy in her office adjusting her employees' schedules for the next couple of days. Leo had phoned earlier to let her know Ben and Adrian had lost the baby and Ben wouldn't be in until next week. Bunny had wisely chosen not to let Leo know that she already knew and simply said she understood. She had been in her office all morning calling employees she knew could possibly manage to take over Ben's shift today and tomorrow and she had just finished updating the schedule sheet. She printed off the updated schedule for tomorrow and then posted it by the time clock, taking down the old one and shredding it. Nora happened to be walking by and noticed that Ben wouldn't be working his shift that day or tomorrow and she smiled to herself. _Guess Adrian had the baby_ she thought as she headed to the cooler to retrieve her customer's order.

Back at the hospital Adrian was sitting up in her bed and staring off into space. Ben had gone down to the cafeteria to get something to eat but she had barely noticed his departure. She had been going through her shouldacouldwouldas for hours trying to figure out what she'd done wrong. Dr. Atavi assured her that she hadn't but she still blamed herself. Maybe if she'd gone into the hospital in the middle of the night when she felt something was wrong Mercy would still be alive. Then again, maybe she would've found out that night that Mercy had died and she would've been all alone when she found out. She simply couldn't understand how this could've happened to her. Was God punishing her for something? She had thought, at first at least, that maybe getting pregnant was her punishment from God for sleeping with Ben for the wrong reasons. But if God had wanted to punish her for some reason, why'd he have to take it out on her innocent baby? Adrian placed the heels of her hands over her eyes and took a deep breath. She held it in for a moment and then let it out slowly. She didn't know why God took her daughter away from her but she knew that if anyone would have an answer for her it would probably be Grace. She reached over towards her nightstand and picked up her phone, speed dialing her best friend. Grace picked up on the first ring.

"Hi, Adrian," Grace said, her voice still happy as usual although not quite as chipper as it normally would be. Adrian wasn't in the mood for pleasantries, however.

"Grace, I'm tryna wrap my head around why God punished me by taking away Mercy and I can't get my head around it."

"Adrian, you can't think of it like that," she assured her.

"Why not?" Adrian asked with irritation, shifting in her bed to get a little more comfortable. She was really starting to get sick of the bed and her hospital room. There was no immediate answer. "Grace? You still there?"

"I'm here. I was trying to think of how to phrase this."

"Phrase what?"

"Ok think of it like this. You know how growing up our parents always told us what we could and couldn't do?"

"Yeah."

"And as we got older we hated it because we thought we knew enough about life to make our own decisions?"

"Yeah. So?"

"Sooooo our parents told us what we could and couldn't do because they knew more about life than we did. They could see the potential consequences of our decisions and behavior and tried to spare us those potential problems and pain, right?"

"I guess but I don't see what that has to do with this, Grace," Adrian said grumpily. There was a click at her door and she looked up to see Ben standing there holding a paper sack of food. He gave her a small smile as he shut the door behind him and took a seat in the chair near her bed.

"God is like our parents, Adrian. He knows more about life and the world than we do, not because he's been around long enough to see or experience it but because he created it. So just because we don't understand why he does or doesn't do something doesn't mean there's not a good reason for it. And, like our parents, he may not always **explain** what the reason is. We just gotta trust that he knows what he's doing and there's a reason for everything." Adrian sighed deeply.

"Grace, I'm not sure I can be as trusting as you are." Adrian began to tear up and her voice began to waver from her angry tears. "The dude killed my baby! I'm not sure I wanna trust someone like that. If it works for you then fine but right now do me a favor and tell God to stop messing with me!" She ended the call and tossed her phone onto the bed. She brought her knees up to her chest and hugged them, lowering her head and having herself a good cry.

The hours ticked by. Adrian drifted off to sleep in the afternoon and Ben went home to shower and change so he could head right back to the hospital. His dad had already told him he'd called Bunny and he wasn't expected at work today or tomorrow and he was thankful. He wasn't sure he was ready to face Ricky right now, knowing that Ricky's child had made it while his hadn't. Ricky on the other hand headed home to change and then headed downstairs to work his shift. After he clocked in he found himself working the counter with his mom.

"So'd you hear the news?" she asked him.

"What news?"

"Ben and Adrian had the baby." Ricky looked at her with confusion.

"Who told you that?" he asked uncertainly, not sure how his mother had arrived at her present conclusion. Nora appointed to her right towards the back office.

"I saw Bunny putting up a new schedule for today and tomorrow by the time clock this morning. Other people are working Ben's shifts so Adrian musta had the baby," she explained, shrugging as though it was perfectly obvious. Ricky knew it wasn't his place to set his mother straight on the subject and simply nodded his head, letting her believe he agreed with her logic. Nora looked perplexed at his reaction.

"What, no comment? Don't you care that now you and one of your co-workers have something else in common? Aren't you two gonna bond over baby-daddy stories?" Ricky rolled his eyes at his mother's last statement.

"Ben and I aren't exactly best friends, mom. We're just co-workers who both happened to have dated the same girl. Our friendship is strained on a **good** day," he informed her as he noticed the fruit basket was low and took it to the storeroom to refill it. At the nursery Diane was surprised to see Amy.

"What are you doing here, sweet pea? Are you sure you're ready to come back to work? We filled Sam in and she said you could take today off too if you needed." Amy gave her a grateful smile.

"I know; Sam left me a voicemail. But honestly I'd rather stay busy right now." Diane nodded in understanding as she watched Amy head to John's play room. Ricky and Amy completed their shifts with subdued attitudes, both doing their best to stay focused so their minds wouldn't have time to wander and fixate on Adrian and Ben's situation. After her shift Amy carried her son to the car and buckled him into his car seat, taking a couple of extra seconds to ruffle his hair and kiss his cheeks. When she and John arrived back home, even the family dinner was subdued, everyone thinking about what Ben and their next door neighbors must be going through. Everyone kept glancing at John as they ate too, each thinking about the love, joy and entertainment he had brought to their lives as well as how he'd added Ricky and his parents to their family. Amy focused entirely on John as she gave him his bath that night, committing to memory everything about the moment. She'd bathed her son countless times over the past year and a half and she cherished every second she spent with him. Now, however, she cherished John and her time with him on an even deeper level, realizing her life could've turned out much differently. When Ricky came by to pick John up for the weekend, it was especially bittersweet for Amy. On one hand she felt immensely saddened that she'd be separated from her son that night and wouldn't be able to watch him sleep. But on the other, she knew that he'd be in the care of the only other person on the planet who loved John with the same intensity that she did. She comforted herself with the realization that Ricky had been separated from John last night and so she knew he needed some quality alone time with John too. Ricky picked John up and then took his overnight bag from Amy. He leaned in and gave her a goodnight kiss.

"We'll see you tomorrow," he reminded her and she nodded. She stepped forward to kiss John's cheek.

"Be a good boy for daddy, John." He smiled at her and she couldn't help but smile back at her healthy, happy little boy. She stood on the porch watching as Ricky buckled John into his car seat. She watched as he backed out of the driveway and continued watching until his car disappeared into the night.

The next morning found Adrian sitting on the bed of her hospital room dressed in a black dress. It had sheer sleeves and was mid-calf length. Her hair was down and held back at the sides by simple black clips. She was wearing simple black low heeled shoes and waiting for Dr. Atavi to return with her release papers. Her mother sat next to her in a black dress of her own. The dress had no sleeves but came with a plain black jacket that stopped at the waist. Her hair was also down and held back at the sides by simple black clips and her feet were also adorned with simple black low-heeled shoes. They sat side by side holding hands, neither saying a word. Adrian was being released from the hospital and heading straight to her daughter's funeral. She was holding her emotions in check by sheer willpower. She was tired of crying but tears kept threatening to fall.

There was a knock on the open door and Adrian and Cindy looked up to find Dr. Atavi and Ruben standing in the doorway. She handed Adrian a clipboard with her release forms and a pen. Adrian signed on the dotted line and then stood to hand the clipboard back. Dr. Atavi gave Adrian a sad smile and then left the room, knowing that there was nothing she could say that was going to make Adrian feel better.

"It's time," Ruben said sadly. Cindy rose from the bed as well and the three of them made their way to the parking lot. When they reached his car, Ruben opened the door for Cindy and then did likewise for Adrian. The drive to the cemetery was eerily silent and thankfully brief. They climbed out of the car and made their way over to a small group of people. Leo, Betty and Ben were joined by Grace, whom Adrian had called and asked to be there, a minster Adrian had never met before, and four men in suits, who she guessed were from the funeral home. Next to Sarah Boykewich's grave stood an open grave with a pink child-sized casket raised above it and a small bouquet of white roses resting on top of it. At the head of the grave was a small granite headstone with a rounded top. It was polished to a smooth finish and etched into it were the words:

Mercy Sarah Boykewich-Lee

Our Beloved Angel

Dec 2011

Etched beneath the words was a rose that had been painted white. There were chairs set up to the side of Mercy's casket and everyone took a seat. Once they were seated, the minister got up to speak.

"We gather here today to lay to rest a sweet child who was taken from this earth much too soon." Adrian felt a tear roll down her cheek but refused to give into the sobs that were trying to force their way out of her. "It's always hard to bear the loss of a loved one and even more so when they were taken from us unexpectedly. We simply must strive to take comfort in knowing that they are resting in peace and feel no pain." Grace was sitting next to Adrian and reached over to hold her hand, tears falling from her own eyes. "Would anyone like to say a few words?" the minister asked. Leo rose from his seat but stood facing Mercy's casket instead of those in attendance.

"Mercy," he began, his voice thick from his tears. "You never met me but I'm your grandpa Leo, your father's father." Ben was slowly losing the battle with his own tears at hearing his father's grief-stricken voice. "I just wanted to tell you I love you, I miss you and you'll forever be in my heart little angel." Leo kissed his fingers and then placed his hand over Mercy's casket. He stood there for a moment before slowly returning to his seat. Ruben rose after him and likewise spoke to Mercy, but in Spanish.

"Misericordia, soy tu abuelo, el padre de tu madre. Nunca me conociste bien pero te quiero, te extraño y que siempre estará en mi corazón, mis pensamientos y mis sueños dulce niña." (Mercy, I'm your grandfather, your mother's father. You never met me either but I love you, I miss you and you will always be in my heart, my thoughts and my dreams sweet little girl). Cindy and Adrian lost their battle with their tears at his words. Ben and Grace didn't understand everything Ruben had said but Leo did and Ruben's words tugged at his heart. He would have to remind himself that he wasn't the only grandpa who Mercy had been taken from. Betty got up to speak to Mercy next.

"Hello, mercy. I'm Betty, your step-grandma. And even though we're not related by blood, I still love with you sweet pea, and was looking forward to loving you like a grandma," Betty paused to wipe her eyes. "I miss you little one, and I'll never forget you as long as I live." She walked back to her seat beside Leo and he gave her a watery smile as he took her hand in his. Cindy rose next to speak to her granddaughter. Her emotions nearly brought her to her knees in front of the casket.

"Oh mi nieto precioso. Usted fue un regalo inesperado que no podía esperar a apreciar, al igual que su mamá era para mí. No sé por qué te fuiste tomado como éste cariño, pero sé que siempre será amado y perdido. La abuela te quiere niña." (Oh my precious grandbaby. You were an unexpected gift that I couldn't wait to cherish, just like your mommy was for me. I don't know why you were taken like this sweetheart but know that you will always be loved and missed. Grandma loves you baby girl). As before, Ben didn't understand what Cindy had said but he could hear the emotion in her voice and see it on her face. Cindy returned to her seat on shaky legs and Ruben put an arm around her. Cindy leaned into him and sobbed. He put his other arm around her and gently rocked her. The minister looked at Ben and Adrian but they were both staring at their daughter's casket, unable to form into words how they felt at that moment. Unlike their parents, they had each had a chance to hold Mercy and tell her goodbye. That didn't make this moment any easier. When neither Ben nor Adrian rose to speak, he closed out the service.

"Let us bow our heads." Everyone did so and Adrian squeezed Grace's hand a little tighter. "Lord, we come to you now asking for peace and strength. We ask that you grant Mercy's loved ones peace of mind and strength of spirit as they weather this storm of loss and emotions. We ask that you provide healing as time progresses so they can continue to cherish each other and we ask that you grant them courage to continue living, one day at a time. Amen." Leo rose from his seat with Betty, her hand still in his, and they made their way towards Mercy's casket. They each kissed their fingers and then placed their hand on the casket briefly, giving their granddaughter one final goodbye. They took several steps back to make room for Ruben and Cindy, who rose next to do likewise. Ben numbly followed their example and then slowly Grace and Adrian rose. Adrian released Grace's hand and placed both of her own on her daughter's casket as she leaned forward and kissed its cover while Grace kissed her fingers and placed a hand on the casket as Ben and their parents had done. She and Adrian joined the others beside the casket. One of the funeral home workers removed the bouquet on top of the casket and handed it to Adrian, who took it numbly, and then the little group all silently watched as the workers lowered Mercy's casket into the ground. They watched as they removed the lowering mechanism and then shoveled the nearby mound of dirt on top of it. When Adrian noticed that the mound of dirt was almost gone she had to bite her lip to keep from sobbing. Once the casket was fully covered and the dirt had been tamped down, Adrian knelt down and placed the bouquet at the head of the mound just below the headstone. She stood back up and simply stared at her daughter's grave. The finality of the situation hit her suddenly and she broke down. Grace pulled Adrian into a hug and the two best friends wept.


	26. Blame Game

As Ben walked into school Monday morning he found himself overcome with the second stage of grief: anger. He had spotted Amy and Ricky at the other end of the hallway and Amy was laughing at something Ricky had just said; their happy faces made his blood boil. How **dare** they be so happy and in love when he and Adrian had just suffered a tragedy. How **dare** they have a healthy child while his and Adrian's had died. How **dare** Ricky get to be a father while he had been denied that opportunity. How **dare** Amy have gotten pregnant and ended up happy while Adrian had done the same but ended up in despair. He had never felt the urge to hit a female but at that moment, as he stood there seething, he wanted nothing more than to run up to Amy and slap the smile off her face. Alice and Henry entered the school and saw Ben standing there. They noticed he wasn't moving and followed his line of sight. Alice and Henry quickly shared fearful glances as they quickly put the pieces together. If Ben was staring at Amy and Ricky then he was either feeling even more depressed by what had happened or he was angry about it. They quickly approached him and Alice moved to stand in front of Ben, hoping to break is line of sight to the happy couple. Luckily her move worked, causing Ben to look at her when he noticed her out of the corner of his eye. Alice took one look at his angry expression and tried to do damage control.

"So I spoke to Mrs. Kimber and got your math homework from Friday," she began, skipping all pleasantries in an attempt to diffuse a blowup she could sense was coming. "And since a lot of people did poorly on Friday's pop quiz she's pushing the test back a few days," she explained. Ben was looking at Alice as though he'd never seen her before, his mind trying to figure out why she was talking, what she was talking about and what it had to do with Amy and Ricky. When he didn't respond right away Henry chimed in, attempting to follow Alice's lead.

"And Mr. Doyle said we could have a two day extension on our history project." Ben turned his head to look at Henry, the same confused expression on his face, as his brain tried to figure out why Henry was now speaking. He turned his head to look back down the hallway but Amy and Ricky were no longer standing there. His brows furrowed with anger and he hit his right fist against his locker. Mrs. O'Malley was walking down the hallway just then and zeroed in on Ben when she heard the noise.

"Hello, Ben. I'd like to speak to you for a moment."

"About what?" he asked in a bored tone, not really interested in speaking to the counselor at the moment.

"Let's talk in my office." She took several steps forward and then turned to wait for Ben to join her, which he did reluctantly a moment later. They walked to her office silently and once they reached it, she closed the door behind then as Ben dropped himself into one of the chairs.

"What?" he demanded harshly once she was seated behind her desk. Mrs. O'Malley wasn't fazed. She was a guidance counselor after all.

"I just wanted to check in with you. I was informed about what happened over the past few days and I wanted to check in and ask you how you're doing. Are you sure you feel up to attending your classes today? If not I can work with your teachers to collect your assignments if you feel you need a few more days to process what you're going through," she explained gently. Ben glared at her.

"There's nothing to process," he spit out venomously. "My daughter died before she was born and everybody's just carrying on like nothing happened!"

"Well, Ben, it probably **seems** that way because not everybody knows that you and Adrian lost your daughter a few days ago." Ben scoffed.

"I bet Amy and Ricky do," he challenged her as he crossed his arms and glared in her general direction. Kaitlyn was confused for a moment about what Amy and Ricky could have to do with this conversation but she quickly figured it out a moment later.

"Have you or Adrian told either of them what happened?" she asked. Ben rolled his eyes, which she took to mean no. "But you feel they should be grieving for your daughter just like you and Adrian are?" Ben glared at her.

"We were there when John was born! Adrian was with Ricky and I was with Amy and we were happy for them so they should be unhappy with us!" Kaitlyn understood Ben's grief-filled logic but she also knew his anger was misdirected.

"Ben…"

"NO! It's not fair!" He shot up from his chair and placed his hands on her desk as he leaned on it. His eyes began to water even though his voice remained steady, and angry. "She got pregnant the first time she had sex and I got Adrian pregnant the first time **I** had sex! Ricky didn't even **want** John at first; he even ignored Amy completely! But when Adrian told me she was pregnant I told her I'd go along with whatever she wanted to do! I stood by Adrian's side from the **beginning**! Amy was planning on giving John up for adoption until we all talked her out of it but once Adrian decided she didn't wanna have an abortion she decided to **keep** our daughter! She was a better mother than Amy at the beginning and she didn't do anything wrong! The doctors even said so! Adrian and I were actual friends before Mercy was born and became better friends during the pregnancy. Ricky and Amy hardly talked, all he wanted to do was sleep with her again; he didn't even **care** about her! Adrian and I were better people for our baby than Amy and Ricky but their baby **lived**! And now they're dating and all in love and happy while we're suffering! HOW IS THAT FAIR!? OF **COURSE** THEY SHOULDN'T BE HAPPY!" Ben plopped back in his seat, unaware that tears had been running down his cheeks until he felt one land on his pant leg. He wiped away his angry tears as Kaitlyn watched him silently.

"Ben, are you aware of the five stages of grief?" she asked him calmly.

"No."

"Well I am and I know from personal experience that right now you're in stage two, which is anger. You're angry at anyone and everyone and that anger is a coping mechanism. The only way that anger's gonna subside is if you keep talking and venting, getting everything off your chest. Now you can vent to me, if you're more comfortable with that, or I can refer you to a therapist who specializes in helping people deal with loss of a loved one." Ben shook his head.

"Adrian's doctor already gave us a referral." Kaitlyn nodded.

"Do you feel that talking to the therapist is helping?" Ben shook his head again.

"I haven't spoken to her yet." Kaitlyn gave him an empathetic look.

"I think you should spend some time today talking with her and try coming back to school tomorrow," she advised just as the warning bell rang. "Do you need me to call your dad?" Ben shook his head for a third time.

"No. I drove here this morning." Kaitlyn wrote Ben a pass to allow him to leave campus and then logged into her computer to let his teacher's know he'd be gone for the rest of the day while Ben rose and left. Kaitlyn pulled out Ben's file and looked up Leo's number, calling his office once she found it.

"Boykewich Butchers International, Camille speaking."

"Hello. My name is Kaitlyn O'Malley. I'm the guidance counselor at Benjamin's school. I'd like to speak to Mr. Leo Boykewich please."

"One moment while I transfer you," Camille said politely. Kaitlyn waited for a moment before Leo picked up.

"Mrs. O'Malley, what can I do for you?" he asked politely.

"Mr. Boykewich, I spoke to Ben this morning just to check in with how he's feeling and I wanted to let you know that I ended up suggesting he leave school for the rest of the day and go speak to the therapist Adrian's doctor referred him to." Leo was surprised by this piece of news.

"We have an appointment scheduled today after school actually. Why did you feel he needed to be sent home?" he asked with a mixture of concern and curiosity.

"Your son in solidly in the second stage of grief, which is anger. He's directing that anger at two fellow students and I foresaw that if he remained at school today there might end up being a rather ugly confrontation between them." Leo sighed.

"You're referring to Amy and Ricky aren't you?"

"Yes. I know that his anger over this situation is natural and part of the healing process, however, I can't allow his grieving process to harm any other student at this school."

"I understand, Mrs. O'Malley. And thank you."

"You're welcome. Good day, Mr. Boykewich."

"Good day." Leo hung up the phone and pinched the bridge of his nose as he sighed. Ben had insisted on going to school this morning and Leo had agreed because both of them knew what would happen if he didn't: Ben would spend the entire day sitting in Mercy's nursery, wallowing in what had happened and driving himself crazy. He knew Ben simply wanted to do something to help him stay busy so he wouldn't think about Mercy and school sounded like the perfect distraction. Leo rose and grabbed his jacket from the coat hook near his door before heading out of his office. Camille looked up when she heard his door open. "Please hold all my calls for the rest of the day, Camille," he said sadly. "Ben needs me today," he explained. Camille nodded.

"Ok, Leo," she said, giving him an understanding yet sad little smile.

Across town Cindy was cleaning her house from top to bottom. She'd been given a week of bereavement leave and she expected to spend part of it grieving with her daughter. However, Adrian had shut herself up in her room and refused to speak about it. Cindy had tried for the better part of the past two days to get Adrian to have a conversation with her, about anything, and Adrian hadn't wanted to. Cindy was going stir crazy, just sitting around and thinking about what had happened. She was anxiously looking forward to their first group session today with Dr. Timmons. Since she had hours to wait until then, Cindy chose to busy herself by deep cleaning her house, taking out her anger and frustration over losing her granddaughter out on the dust and dirt in her home. Ruben was at the DA's office, sitting in his office filling out and filing paperwork. Yes, he knew he'd lost his granddaughter four days ago and yes, he knew he had a group session later that afternoon where they were all supposed to talk about how they were felling but Ruben chose to simply ignore everything related to the 'situation' and drown himself in paperwork, waiting for the afternoon to creep closer.

When Leo arrived back home, he found Betty sitting on the living room sofa, her left thumbnail in her teeth and a worried look on her face. Leo approached her with concern.

"What's the matter, Betty?" he asked. She looked up at him and he saw worry and sadness in her eyes. She sighed and lowered her hand to her lap.

"Ben came home a little bit ago. Said the school counselor said he could go home early. He looked so mad, Leo. I tried to ask him if something had happened at school this morning and he glared at me then went upstairs without a word. I don' t know if something bad happened at school or he's just angry about Mercy," she explained worriedly. Leo sighed and bent forward to kiss her forehead.

"The counselor called me too, that's why I'm back home so soon. She told me he's angry about losing Mercy and he just needs a little time to vent before he goes back to school." Betty relaxed at Leo's explanation. Leo gave her a reassuring smile and then headed to his office to drop off his briefcase. He then made his way upstairs to Ben's room to check in on him but found that Ben wasn't in there. Leo took a deep breath and let it out slowly as he counted to ten. He knew where Ben was and headed to the room next to Ben's and felt a sharp pull on his heartstrings at the sight before him. Ben sat in the rocking chair holding Mr. Bear, the stuffed bear his mother had gotten for him when he was a baby, and a pink blanket from Mercy's crib. Ben had bought it and had Mercy's name embroidered on one of the corners. Ben was rocking absentmindedly and staring at the carpet. Leo watched his son for several minutes until Ben became aware that he wasn't alone. He looked up at his father and his lower lip began to tremble. Leo walked into the nursery and sat on the floor next to the rocking chair beneath the window. Leo and Ben shared a look of understanding before Ben returned his gaze to the carpet. Father and son sat in Mercy's nursery staring off into space, lost in their own thoughts. Back at Grant High Alice jogged up to Henry in the hallways.

"You seen Ben?" Henry shook his head.

"I was just gonna ask you the same thing. Why?"

"He wasn't in chem class so I thought he might still be talking to the counselor, but I wanted to see if you'd seen him before I go check." Henry shook his head again and they headed through the hallways towards the counselor's office. Alice knocked on the open door when they reached it and found Mrs. O'Malley writing something at her desk. She looked up at the knock and smiled at them.

"What can I do for you two?" Alice and Henry shared a brief look before Alice looked back at her and spoke.

"Well, Ben didn't show up for our chem class last period so we thought he might still be talking to you," she explained.

"Ben went home for the rest of the day," she explained. Alice and Henry shared a worried look and then quickly looked back at the counselor.

"Ok, thanks. Bye," Alice said quickly and then turned to make a quick escape from the office. She grabbed Henry's left arm as she did so and dragged him out of the office. He gave the counselor a small smile and wave before his face disappeared around the corner of her office.

"What was that all about?" he asked once Alice stopped several feet from the office door and released him.

"Ben was pretty heated this morning, right?" Henry looked perplexed, not sure what Alice was getting at but nodded anyway. "Remember who he was looking at?" Again Henry nodded. "I think she mighta sent Ben home just so he wouldn't cause a scene."

"What kinda scene?" Henry asked, oblivious to Alice's conclusion. She rolled her eyes at him and grabbed a fistful of his t-shirt and tugged him closer to her so she could whisper to him.

"So he wouldn't get into a fight with Ricky you dork!" She released him when she saw from his change in facial expression that Henry finally understood what she was getting at. "We knew he was upset but I didn't think he was upset enough to do something **physical** about it," she continued worriedly. "I don't know how we're gonna help him through this, Hank," she said sadly. Henry pulled Alice into a hug.

"We'll figure it out. We always do," he told her. Alice nodded her head but inside she wasn't so sure.

Figuring it out was exactly what Adrian was sitting on her bed in her room trying to do. She'd already wondered what might've happened if she'd gone to the hospital sooner and Grace had tried to explain that there was some cosmic reason Mercy had been taken from her but all Adrian really wanted to know at the moment was why her baby had died and Amy's had lived. She had tried to come up with all sorts of reasons but each one sounded more lame and unsatisfying as the last. _Maybe this shrink we're going to see this afternoon can help me figure it out_ she thought as she flopped down and stared at her bedroom ceiling. _What'd she do differently? Why'd she get to keep her baby and I didn't? Why does life suck so hard!?_

The hours ticked away and finally it was time to visit Dr. Timmons. Leo, Betty and Ben carpooled to the doctor's office as did Cindy and Adrian. Ruben met them there and together the little group sat silently in the waiting room and waited to be called in. When Dr. Timmons did come into the waiting room to get them, she gave them all a soft smile, which only Cindy and Betty returned. Everyone filed in and took seats on the couches that were arranged in a semi-circle, all facing an armchair that Dr. Timmons lowered herself into after she shut the office door. She picked up a clipboard and pen from the side table next to her and placed them on her lap.

"You all know my name is Dr. Timmons but feel free to call me Hannah. Why don't we start by each of you telling me your name and how you're related to or associated with everyone else in the room," she said with a gentle smile. Everyone looked at each other, not sure who should go first. "Okay. Let's just go from left to right, starting with you," she said, pointing to Betty.

"Ok then. I'm Betty, Leo's wife," she explained, looking at Leo who was sitting next to her as she spoke. "And Ben's stepmother," she finished, looking past Leo to Ben, who was seated beside his father.

"I'm Leo and Betty just answered who I'm related to."

"I'm Ben," Ben stated and then paused as he felt his emotions threatening to bubble over and cause him to dissolve into tears. He took a deep breath and continued. "And I'm Mercy's father." He stared down at the carpet to give himself time to get himself back under control. Hearing Ben struggle with his emotions made Adrian's emotional walls begin to crack a little as well and her voice shook as she began to speak.

"I'm Adrian and I'm Mercy's mother." Like Ben, she had chosen to speak in the present tense, unwilling to say that she **had** been Mercy's mother, for multiple reasons.

"I'm Cindy and I'm Adrian's mother."

"I'm Ruben and I'm Adrian's father and Cindy's husband," Ruben responded, finishing off the introductions. Hannah nodded in understanding.

"How long ago did you all lose Mercy?" she asked. Leo took a deep breath and sighed before answering.

"Four days," he said quietly. Betty reached over and took his hand. Ben suddenly looked up and glared at Hannah.

"You're not gonna ask us how we're doing are you? 'Cuz the answer is lousy."

"Has someone asked you that recently, Ben?"

"My school counselor," he admitted.

"I see. And does the question bother you or is it the answer?" He didn't understand what she was asking him.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that based on your irritated tone and expression that you're either upset by being asked how you're doing or you're upset because you're doing lousy," she explained. Ben's anger from that morning came rushing back.

"I wouldn't **be** doing so lousy if Amy and Ricky weren't rubbing their happiness in my face and, oh yeah, if my daughter wasn't dead!" Hannah looked at him curiously.

"Who are Amy and Ricky?" Ben snorted and rolled his eyes while Adrian laughed humorlessly

"How much time do you have?" Adrian asked sarcastically.

"The first meeting is always a double session so we can get to know each other better," Hannah replied, crossing her ankles beneath her seat. "You're not very likely to talk to me if you don't trust me. So. Who are Amy and Ricky?" Adrian and Ben looked at each other and had a brief silent communication before looking back at Hannah.

"Well it all started at band camp," Ben began. Suddenly he and Adrian became very talkative. They filled Hannah in on how Amy and Ricky had impacted their lives and how the four of them had gotten tangled up in each other's lives. While parts of the story were familiar to Leo, Cindy and Ruben, the entire story was news to Betty and she listened intently, as did Hannah. Ruben and Cindy exchanged worried looks as Ben and Adrian talked. As the story continued it became obvious to them, and to Leo, that Ben and Adrian were still comparing themselves to Amy and Ricky, and trying to blame Mercy's death on them. They finished their story with the final conversation they had each had with their ex and the only dry eye in the room was Hannah's. Their parents were shocked to learn about how emotionally invested in their ex's they had been or what an emotional and mental rollercoaster they had ridden over the past two years.

"I see," Hannah said once the story concluded. She knew that true healing only occurred when you faced the truth of a situation head on and battled the lingering demons so she dove right in. "So basically you believe you wouldn't have lost Mercy if you'd never been involved with these two from the start. Unfortunately, your logic's a little flawed." Ben and Adrian gasped at her with irritation.

"So what? You're taking their side!? I thought you were supposed to be helping us!" Adrian declared angrily. Hannah gave her a level look.

"I'm helping you by helping you see the truth so you can begin to deal with it. And the truth is, Adrian, that you were in a bad place mentally and emotionally when you decided you wanted to date Ricky." She turned to look at Ben. "And you, Ben, became infatuated with Amy before you were forced to deal with the reality of her situation and once you were, you refused to acknowledge and then deal with the tough situations that came along with it." They both looked at her with their mouths slightly open, shock on their faces. "Therapy is designed to help bring the truth to the surface so you can deal with it because when you don't," she gave them both a pointed, knowing expression. "You have revenge sex in the back of a car in front of your ex-girlfriend's house." She focused her attention on the parents in the room. "I know that all sounded harsh and it was. But this isn't my first time at the rodeo people and healing only comes when you get to the root of the problem. Ben and Adrian aren't gonna even **begin** to start truly healing from losing Mercy until they realize that their past affects their present but doesn't have to shape their future." She turned her gaze back towards Adrian and Ben, whose eyes were a storm of mixed emotions. "And right now you're both allowing your pasts with Amy and Ricky to keep you trapped there. Ruben spoke up, so far not feeling that this was helping anyone.

"And what on earth does that have to do with helping us all find a way to deal with the loss of Mercy?" he asked angrily. Hannah turned her gaze towards them.

"Ben and Adrian need you all to be there for them emotionally as they deal with Mercy's death, true. But nothing you do or say is gonna be of any help to them in the coming days, weeks, and months because they're both still stuck in the past. They blame Amy and Ricky for this because even after all this time they still feel the need to compare themselves to their ex's. As long as they are focused on what Amy and Ricky do or don't do they can't move forward. Was the past situation convoluted and complicated? Absolutely. Did all parties involve make mistakes and hurt those around them? Yes. Does that mean that people can't learn from their mistakes, change their ways, mature and move on? No." Hannah once more trained her gaze on Ben and Adrian. "Amy and Ricky had nothing to do with the two of you actually losing Mercy. You both need someone to blame for this right now and so you've chosen the only two people that you feel you can relate to. The only two teen parents who also conceived their child under less than ideal circumstances and ultimately decided to keep their child even though they're still in high school."

"But it's not fair!" Ben exclaimed. "He didn't want either one of them at first. And she wanted to give John up! How come they got to keep their baby and we don't!?" he demanded, tears beginning to fall from his eyes.

"There isn't an answer to that question, Ben. Life isn't fair, that much we all know. We also know that what you do with the curve balls and hard knocks life throws at you shapes the kind of person you are. I don't know why this wasn't your time to be a father."

"That doesn't stop it from sucking," Adrian stated, tears on her own cheeks. "It doesn't stop me from wondering what raising her would've been like. What it would've been like to hear her little voice call me mommy. It doesn't stop me from resenting Amy for getting to do what I wanted to," she admitted grumpily.

"Adrian, plenty of mothers who've had to deal with a miscarriage, or multiple miscarriages, feel resentment towards other mothers. It's perfectly natural to feel that way towards someone who can do or has something you don't. It's what you **do** about that resentment that determines if it's simply an emotion or a much larger problem." Hannah looked at Cindy, who she noticed had been staring at the carpet for some time.

"Cindy, you've been staring at the floor for quite some time now. Is there something you wanted to get off your chest?" Cindy looked Hannah with puffy, red eyes.

"If anything this is all my fault," she stated. Everyone but Hannah looked at her with disbelief.

"How so?" Hannah asked.

"If I wasn't as screwed up as I was then I would've been the mother Adrian deserved. If I'd been the kind of mother I should've been then none of this woulda happened."

"Why do you feel the blame rests solely on your shoulders?" Hannah asked. Cindy pulled a tissue from the box sitting on the coffee table in front of her and dried her eyes.

"I got pregnant with Adrian because I wanted to have someone in my life who would love me. At first I thought that if I got pregnant Ruben would stay with me but I felt so guilty for trying to trap him that I couldn't face him, so I just told him I wanted him to stay away. I was raised Catholic so an abortion was out of the question and my parents were so disappointed in me they basically kept me hidden away so I came to resent my child even though I also loved her. Then I got a job as a flight attendant and enjoyed the freedom it gave me to simply get out of my parents' house. Even though I could've found another job once I'd saved up enough money and moved Adrian and I into our own little apartment, I enjoyed my freedom too much. I made sure she had everything she needed physically but for most of her life I wasn't there. If **had** been I would've been able to see trouble coming and do something about it." Ruben was silently crying now too and put a comforting arm around Cindy.

"I wasn't any better, Cindy," he assured her. "I didn't fight hard enough for you." He shifted his gaze to look at Adrian. "Either of you. I may have paid child support and thought about you, Adrian, but I wasn't there **either**." Adrian gave her dad a watery smile.

"But you're here now." He gave her a watery smile right back.

"I'm here now," he assured her. Leo sniffled

"While everyone's taking blame for what happened I might as well throw my hat in the ring." Ben turned his head to look at his father questioningly.

"What do **you** blame yourself for? You didn't do anything." Leo gave his son a patronizing smile.

"Don't be so sure, son. Unfortunately for you and me we're both hopeless romantics. I could tell how deeply you cared about Amy before you found out she was pregnant and I honestly thought it admirable of you to want to marry her and raise her baby as your own after you found out she was pregnant. When I realized you were no longer thinking things through realistically, I told you you needed to take a step back and make sure you were sure about being involved with Amy. Instead of telling you that you needed to end things with her once and for all, I stepped back, gave you room to think things over and make your own decision about the matter, on more than one occasion. The result was that you and Amy had a lot of back and forth and you and Ricky ended up frienemies instead of friends who were gonna work together to do what was best for John. I'm your father, Benjamin. I've been around longer and seen more of this world and I should've taken a harder stance with you. Instead I trusted in the relationship we'd built over the years and how well I thought I'd raised you to let you make some big decisions and deal with the consequences. If I'd gotten you disentangled from Amy earlier in the beginning we might not be sitting here right now," Leo explained, his eyes shiny from unshed tears. Ben reached over and gave his father a hug as he chuckled.

"It wouldn't have done much good," he admitted, ending the hug and looking at his father. "I can be pretty stubborn and I had my heart set on a future with Amy." Ben sighed as sadness filled his eyes. "And I let my competiveness get the better of me when it came to Ricky." Ben broke eye contact to stare down at the carpet. "But I'm starting to get the sense I can't blame my competition with Ricky for this one though," he admitted with dejection as a fresh tear slid down his cheek.

"**Now** we're getting somewhere," Hannah said with a smile, causing everyone to look at her with confusion in their eyes. Hannah focused her eyes on Ruben. "You asked how any of this was supposed to make you all feel better about losing Mercy? You and Cindy acknowledged the role you both played in shaping the kind of young woman your daughter was when Mercy was conceived." She turned to look at Leo. "And you've acknowledged how your choices played a role in placing your son in the car that night." She looked at Ben. "Ben has acknowledged that his personality played a role in keeping him entangled with Amy and Ricky but he's also acknowledged that Ricky is not to blame for the loss of his daughter." She turned to look back at Ruben. "Once you can admit how you got to this point in your life, you're able to see that one, no one else is directly to blame for your decisions; two, sometimes bad things happen; and three, what changes you can make in your life, personality or mindset to help you become a better person in the future. The reason many people see a therapist for the first time is to help them accomplish steps one and two, which simply consist of facing the reality of what's happened and trying to make some kind of sense of it all. I can honestly say you have all successfully accomplished step one here today but step two takes time and the length of time is different for everyone."

"Huh," Ruben said, his voice soundly slightly surprised. "I guess you **did** help us a little today." Hannah chuckled.

"Like I said. Not my first time at the rodeo," she replied with a small.

"But how long does it usually take for people to get past step two?" Adrian asked with concern. Hannah gave her a sympathetic look, understanding that Adrian needed to know how long she would feel the way she felt.

"It's different for everyone, Adrian. No one can rush the process for you. Not even me." Adrian looked at her parents worriedly.

"Can I stay home from school a little longer then?" she pleaded before looking down. "I get that it's not Amy or Ricky's fault but I'm just not sure I can face them at school yet. I'm not ready to talk to them about it and if they brought it up I'm sure I'd start crying again if I had to explain to them what happened." She sighed as she looked her parents in the eye. "Plus I'm not ready to have people look at me with pity and I don't wanna go back 'til I know I won't break down if I talk about Mercy," she explained, her voice beginning to waver as she began to imagine having to tell other people her daughter had been stillborn. Cindy and Ruben nodded.

"It's almost Christmas break anyway," Cindy assured her with a small smile. "I'm sure you can catch up next term." Hannah checked her watch and noticed their time was up. She walked them to the front desk and let them know they could call her and set up individual appointments if any of them wanted to talk to her and then they scheduled another group session for two weeks later. As Hannah headed back into her office to type up the notes she had written while everyone spoke she sighed. _Ben and Adrian have a long way to go_ she thought as she sat in her chair at her desk and woke up her computer. _Teenage emotions are always a roller coaster. But thankfully they've both got parents who love them going through this with them. Family, loving functional family, always makes things a little easier to bear._


	27. Musical Medicine

Almost a week later, Amy was standing in her bedroom mirror giving her hair a final adjustment. Every year the school participated in a Christmas show that allowed the local ballet school to perform a recital and the high school's concert band and choir to perform. The school provided the band girls with navy blue dresses and the boys with black tuxes specifically for the event. The dress stopped mid-calf and was sleeveless and Amy was glad they lived in Los Angeles where it didn't snow in December. John sat on her bed dressed in a nice shirt and khaki pants with a little clip on tie watching her.

"Mommy pwitty," he told her as she finished adjusting the small butterfly clips holding her hair back at the sides. She looked over at him and smiled. She put on her coat and secured it as she heard her father call up the stairs to her.

"You about ready, Ames?"

"Just about!" she replied. She set John on the floor and took his hand before bending slightly to pick up her French horn case. They made their way downstairs where the rest of their family was putting on their coats. There was shuffling for a moment as coats rustled and zippers zipped.

"We all set?" George asked. When he didn't hear any complaints they all headed outside towards the SUV in the driveway while George locked the door. Anne buckled Robbie into his car seat in the middle seat, closest to the window, while Amy helped John climb into the back seat and then buckled him into his own. Anne took the seat next to Robbie closest to the door while Amy sat in back with John, her French horn on the floor between them. Ashley got into the driver's seat while George climbed into the passenger's seat. "And away we go," he said to Ashley with a lopsided grin as she started the car and slowly backed out of the driveway.

At the Cooperstein residence Madison was giving her reflection one last look. The dresses for the female members of the choir were a velvety black material, stopped just below the knee and had short sleeves. The waist was formfitting with a silver sash that ended in a bow at the back and the skirt flared out ever so slightly so that it had the silhouette of a bell. _Not too shabby_ Madison thought as she did a small twirl in front of the mirror and then grabbed her purse off the bathroom counter so she could head downstairs and grab her coat.

At the community center Lauren was already dressed in her costume and warming up backstage with the other teen ballerinas. They weren't going on stage until after the younger girls performed their Christmas-themed recital but the older girls were warming up nonetheless. Lauren smiled as a little four year old ballerina dashed past her in a snowflake costume and headed towards their instructor.

"Mrs. Peabody I gotta pee!" the little snowflake informed her while doing the potty dance. Lauren stifled a chuckle as she watched Mrs. Peabody sigh and wave over the little snowflake's mother to help the girl out of her costume. In the audience Jesse and Justin were sitting with their parents and chatting about their plans for Christmas break.

"So Madison and I were gonna go ice skating at some point. Think we should get the whole gang together and go?" Justin asked Jesse as he absentmindedly rolled and unrolled his program.

"Don't know," Jesse replied. "You think Ricky and Amy would wanna bring the little guy?" Justin shrugged.

"Don't see why not. The kid might enjoy it. How old is he? Two?" Jesse frowned as he tried to remember.

"Nah I don't he's two yet." Justin shrugged again.

"He still might enjoy it. We can ask 'em later." In another section of the auditorium Grace and Grant were sitting with Henry and Alice.

"So you think we should save him a seat? Just in case?" Grace asked nervously, looking around the auditorium.

"Probably not," Henry told her. "We've been trying to get him to hang out after he gets off work and he hasn't been in the mood," he explained sadly. "And every time we brought up the concert her said band reminded him of Amy and he didn't think he'd be able to sit through the whole thing." Even though Alice and Henry hadn't been able to convince Ben to come to the concert, Leo was making one last attempt to convince him otherwise. He stood next to Ben's bed while Ben laid stretched out on his bed staring at the ceiling.

"Ben, try not to think of the show as supporting the band. Think of it as being reminded that even though there's tragedy in life that there's still good left in this world. That it's **okay** to celebrate life and the good things you **do** have." Ben turned his head to the side to look at her father, his eyes sad but not as sad as they had been.

"It just sounds wrong to celebrate life when Mercy's life was cut short so soon." Leo gave his son a look filled with sympathy and understanding.

"I know, son. I also know that if Mercy had lived she wouldn't want us to spend our time focusing on the negatives. I'd also like to think that she, like your mother, is looking down on us with sadness because we've chosen to honor her memory by no longer living ourselves." Ben paused to consider his father's word, having not thought about it like that. He sighed and sat up.

"I don't know what she'd think, dad, but I can guess if she **is** looking down she's probably not happy that I'm unhappy," he admitted. "I don't know if this concert will help but I guess moping around isn't helping either," he said as he stood up from his bed. Leo inwardly sighed with relief as he nodded his head.

"Then let's get going." While the Boykewichs headed downstairs to leave for the concert, others were arriving at the community center for the show. Margaret, Shakur and Nora were waiting near the front doors for Ricky and waved when they spotted him walking over, his drum sticks in one hand. Nora took a camera out of her purse and snapped a picture of him, causing Ricky to chuckle. He didn't exactly think this was a Kodak moment.

"Don't you look handsome," Nora told him with a smile. Ricky glanced down at himself.

"I know," he said with a cocky attitude and a smirk before looking back up at his parents.

"Go knock 'em dead," Nora told him, stepping forward to give him a brief hug.

"I thought the term was 'break a leg'," Shakur said. Margaret shook her head.

"That's only for actors and dancers," his wife informed him.

"Daddy!" a small boy's voice called out, causing everyone to turn towards the source of the sound. Ricky smiled when he spotted John walking next to Amy, holding her hand. He let go when he spotted Ricky and ran over, his arms outstretched. When John reached him Ricky picked him up and tossed him into the air slightly, causing John to laugh.

"You be a good boy for your grandmas and grandpa's, okay?"

"'Kay," John said. Ricky kissed his cheek and walked over to Amy to take her French horn case. The small group made their way inside towards the auditorium doors and stopped. Ricky handed John to George and then Amy stepped forward to kiss John's cheek.

"We'll see you all after the show," Amy said, looking at her parents and siblings.

"Bye," Robbie said to her, giving her a little wave. Amy chuckled and walked over to her mother to kiss her little brother's cheek.

"I'll see you later Robbie," she said with a smile. She glanced at Ricky and he stepped towards her to take her hand. He glanced back at his parents and dipped his head to say bye and then he and Amy headed down the hallway towards the door that would take them to the band holding area. As Amy and Ricky reached their destination Leo and Ben arrived. Silently Leo parked the car and the two of them got out and made their way inside. They had just enough time to find two seats together and get comfortable before the lights began to dim, signaling the start of the show. The curtains of the stage rose to reveal a small, wintery, wooded clearing. Music began to play and several little ballerinas dressed as pine trees came leaping onto the stage. They arranged themselves into a line closest to the stage backdrop and were then joined by several more ballerinas dressed as snowflakes, who likewise came leaping onto the stage. Once they were arranged in a semi-circle one more snowflake, much smaller than the others, came twirling out onto the stage and stood in the center. The music tempo picked up slightly and the little snowflakes and trees danced, twirled and leapt, their movements and the tempo of the music telling a familiar Rudolph story. In this version, the littlest snowflake was shunned by the bigger, prettier snowflakes, who all did their best to show how pretty they were by floating among the trees. However, part way through the story a great wind began to blow, the wind coming from a fan of some sort off stage, and the bigger snowflakes found themselves in trouble as they became stuck in the trees. The smaller snowflake, being more agile, could float between the trees more easily and helped dislodge the other stuck snowflakes and they all ended up floating through the forest together as friends.

Ben watched the performance sadly. _I wonder if Mercy would've wanted to be a ballerina._ He pictured his daughter being one of the little girls up on stage dancing and felt a wave of longing come over him. A tear ran down his cheek as he was once again vividly reminded that he would never get to watch Mercy grow up. Although Leo wasn't crying, he was also watching the performance with a feeling of sadness. Like Ben, we was wondering what it could've been like to sit in the audience and watch Mercy perform. _I hope those girls' parents realize how blessed they are to have their daughters._ In another part of the auditorium Henry leaned over to Alice and whispered in her rear.

"Maybe it's a good thing Ben's not here." Alice nodded in agreement. _Maybe asking Ben to come watch a bunch of little girls dance around a stage might start him off on a new wave of depression, and only a few days before Christmas too._ As Grace watched the performance her thoughts turned to Adrian. Watching the children perform made her feel bittersweet as she was reminded that Adrian and Ben would never get to see Mercy dance. When the music ended the audience clapped and cheered for the little dancers. They took a bow and then 'floated' off stage. The curtain came down signaling a brief intermission as the show workers changed out the set for the performance of the nutcracker. Jesse was getting anxious. He had only been to a couple of Lauren's recitals since they had started dating so he still didn't know the names of all the various ballet moves and poses. All he knew was that Lauren seemed to glide when she performed and he could watch her dance for hours.

During the intermission Anne and Ashley took John and Robbie to the bathroom so John could pee and Anne could change Robbie's diaper. She was looking forward to the day he was potty trained and she could once more say goodbye to diapers; at the moment Robbie was resisting all attempts she and George made to start potty training him. Back in the auditorium Ben turned misty eyes towards his father.

"I'm ready to go," he stated. Leo looked at Ben encouragingly.

"I know that was tough to sit through; it was tough for me too. But I think we should stay. I'm sure the Christmas carols will help lift our spirits and that'll do us some good. We just need to hang in there a little longer. What do 'ya say?" Ben was pensive for a moment. While part of him was ready to go, having been a little disheartened by watching happy little girls prance around, his father had never intentionally steered him wrong before so maybe by the end of the show he would feel better. Ben nodded his head with a sigh and settled back in his chair, waiting for intermission to end.

The lights dimmed again and the curtain rose, signaling the start of the familiar nutcracker performance. Jesse watched the ballerinas dance respectfully but all he really cared about at the moment was watching his girlfriend dance. When Lauren finally came on the stage as one of the waltzing flowers, a dreamy expression came over Jesse's face as he watched Lauren twirl and glide across the stage as she danced out her scene. He sighed contentedly and his mother glanced over at him. She smiled when she saw the expression on her son's face and nudged her husband, who turned to look at her. She points her thumb at their son and leans back so he can get a better look at Jesse. He stifles a chuckle at the love-struck look on his son's face. He and his wife share a smile and then return their focus to the stage.

When the ballerinas finished their final scene and the curtain began to lower, the audience clapped and cheered for them, Jesse whistling enthusiastically even though his applause were really only directed towards Lauren. The curtain rose so all the dancers cold take a final bow and then the curtain dropped once more and the lights came on, signaling the final intermission of the evening. Now Justin began to get antsy. During the final portion of the show Madison would be singing, both with the choir and during a solo. He knew she could sing but so far he'd never had the opportunity to actually listen to her sing and he was curious about how her singing voice was going to differ from her speaking voice. He watched as the stage props were removed and a series of shallow bleachers were set up on the right side of the stage while the musicians set up on the left. John spotted Amy and pointed to the stage.

"Mommy!" he declared to the rest of the group. Nora took out her camera and snapped several pictures of Amy as she took her seat and set up her sheet music on the stand in front of her. John spotted Ricky a few moments later and pointed once more. "Daddy!" Again the group looked to where he was pointing and Nora snapped several more pictures as she watched Ricky arrange his drums and then his music on his own stand. Mr. Sidlack tapped the stand and the musicians turned their eyes to him. They ran through a warm-up melody to ensure everyone was on the same page and the sound of their instruments brought people back into the auditorium from intermission. The choir members came out onto the stage and took their places on the bleachers and the choir director, Ms. Evans, stood in front of them facing a stand of her own. She and Mr. Sidlack raised their hands in unison and the concert began.

AS the choir sang Silent Night while the band played its accompanying music, Ben felt himself relax. There was just something about Christmas music that reminded him of all the past Chrsitmases he'd had with his mom and dad. Even though he still missed his mom, and especially on the day she had died, he could still look back on his memories of her with happiness and a smile. AS the choir began the second verse of the song, this realization caused Ben to think about Mercy. He may never get to share a Christmas, or any other holiday, with her, but he had shared Adrian's pregnancy with her. He had felt his daughter kick, watched her on the monitor, and possessed sonogram photos of her. He had memories of his daughter that filled him with happiness and made him smile. As the choir began the third verse of Silent Night, a small smile erupted on Ben's face. Even though you're gone and I miss you, Mercy, I'll always hang onto the memories I have of you and that'll help get me through this. The choir finished the song and the audience clapped. There was a momentary shuffling of sheet music as the band flipped over their music sheets to the next song. As the choir sang The Little Drummer Boy and the band played its music, Leo also felt himself begin to relax as a sense of peace came over him. Children were a blessing, no matter how long they walked on this earth. Even though his granddaughter had been taken before her first breath let alone her first step, Mercy had brought two unlikely families together and the bonds that had been formed would last a lifetime. Maybe that was Mercy's purpose he wondered as the choir continued to sing. Maybe she came into our lives to bring us together and help us expand our family.

While Leo and Ben were gradually being overtaken by a sense of peace, Grace's sense of peace was only growing. Listening to songs about the birth of Jesus were acting like a spiritual pick-me-up for her and she smiled. The songs were reminding here of who she believed in and why and she felt strengthened by them. She leaned her head on Grant's shoulder and held onto his arm. He removed her hand so he could put his arm around her and she scooted a little closer to him when he did so. In the Juegerns/Underwood camp of supporters. John and Robbie were nodding off, the soothing tone of the songs coupled with being up past their bedtimes was putting them to sleep. Ashley shifted John so he was sitting across her lap and leaned his head against her while Anne did the same for Robbie. George was filming the entire performance, gradually moving the camera back and forth between Amy and Ricky, while Nor's camera occasionally snapped a picture. Justin watched patiently, waiting for Madison's solo as the choir sang the songs Deck the Hall, The Twelve Days of Christmas, Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer, O Christmas Tree. Finally Madison stepped forward and picked up a microphone from the stand in front of Ms. Evans before going to stand center stage.

Justin sat up a little straighter and zeroed in on her. Madison opened her mouth to sing the first syllable and Justin was stunned, as were some of their fellow classmates who were in attendance and had never heard Madison sing before. She had a velvety smooth alto voice that was positively bewitching. To Justin it sounded like the entire audience had been put on mute, the only sounds in the room coming from Madison's voice and the band that played the background music for her. As Madison hit the first chorus Justin was actually moved to tears. In all his life he was positive that he'd never ehard a more beautiful sound. He listened enraptured as she continued singing through the second and third verses. When she finished there was a moment of stunned silence from the audience before the room erupted with cheers and applause. Justin was one of several people scattered throughout the auditorium who stood up to give her a standing ovation and apparently others felt the same because the ntire audience stood to give Madison a standing ovation. She blushed and did a small bow before turning off her mic and returning it to Ms. Evans stand. She rejoined her choir mates and Ms. Evans and Mr. Sidlack waited for everyone to quiet down before they performed the final three songs of the program.

Once the band and choir performed the finl song, Ms. Evans and Mr. Sidlack stepped to the side and motioned towards tehri students. The band and choir members all stood and bowed while the audience cheered and gave them enthusiastic applause. The curtain lowered and the show's director came out on stage to say a few parting words and thank everyone for showing their support by coming to the show. Amy and Ricky grabbed their instruments and headed towards the staging area behind the stage, stopping to compliment Madison on her performance. Madison smiled at their praise and gave them a little wave before heading to a different staging area backstage to retrieve her things. Behind stage Amy placed her French horn in its case and secured it. She put on her coat and secured it and then turned to her left to look at Ricky. He had his jacket on already and picke dup her case. They joined hands and made their way out to the main lobby area to find their parents. Amy spotted them and they made their way over to their little group.

"You guys were wonderful," Nora said, beaming at them proudly before stepping forward to hug first Ricky and then Amy. Ricky chuckled.

"How could you tell?" he asked. Nora shrugged.

"I just know," she said with a mysterious little smile. Everyone chuckled at her response.

"So we'll see you all around two tomorrow?" Margaret asked, looking around at the group and receiving a lot of head nods. She, Shakur and Nora headed towards the main doors, turning back to wave before heading out to the parking lot. George turned towards Amy and Ricky.

"Shall we get these little guy to bed?" he asked, motioning with his head towards his sleeping grandson in his arms. Amy and Ricky smiled at their sleeping son as they nodded. They joined the flow of people making their way out to their cars and then home to get ready for Christmas morning. Ricky headed towards his own car while Amy and her family headed back to the SUV. The drive home was a silent one, everyone feeling a little sleepy as it was close to 10:00. When they arrived back home, Anne and Amy headed upstairs to put the boys to bed for the night while Ashley headed to her room. George waited for Ricky to arrive, which he did a couple of minutes later. As Amy and Ricky hadn't been on the best of terms for John's first Christmas, this year they decided they wanted to celebrate it together, with Ricky being there in the morning to watch John open his presents so he was spending the night. They would all spend the afternoon at Margaret and Shakur's with Nora and have Christmas dinner over there as well. Once Ricky arrived and had come inside, George locked the front door and made sure all the other doors and windows were secure while the girls got ready for bed.

Ricky used the downstairs bathroom to change into a t-shirt and sweatpants and brush his teeth. He hung his suit back on its hanger and stored it in the garment bag it had come in. he didn't wanna ruin school property. With John snuggly tucked into his toddler bed, Amy quickly changed into pajamas as well, hanging her dress up on its hanger and putting it back in its garmet back before hanging it up in her closet. She took down several presents that she had hidden on the shelf of her closet and carried them downstairs to put under the tree. She passed Ricky as she made her way towards the tree and he silently admired the view of her backside with a grin as she bent down to place the gifts under the tree. She stood back up and turned around and started, placing a hand over her heart.

"Ricky, you startled me," she said with a giggle. "Why didn't you say something?" she asked as she wlked towards him. He shrugged and continued to grin.

"I was jus admiring the view." Amy blushed and Ricky chuckled.

"I'll see you in the morning," she told him, taking a step forward to head upstairs.

"No goodnight kiss?" he asked, giving her his best puppydog look. Amy chuckled and bent down to kiss him goodnight.

"Goodnight, Ricky," she said with a smile.

"Goodnight, Amy," he replied, smiling right back at her. The Juergnes hous began to quiet down as everyone finished getting ready for bed. Once Ashley was finished in the upstairs bathroom, Amy made sure to place the baby gate at the top of the stairs. So far John had only climbed out of bed once since Amy and Ricky had exchanged his crib for a toddler bed and thankfully John had simply came into Amy's room to wake her up instead of wandering around the house. However, Amy and her parents decided not to take any chances and had been putting up the baby gate each night just in case. Finally the house quieted down completely as everyone drifted off to sleep, Christmas carols and snowflakes appearing in their dreams.


	28. Christmas Morning

Amy woke up to someone tugging on her comforter. She attempted to hold them over her and go back to sleep but someone else had other plans.

"Mommy! Mommy! I win potty!" John said happily as he tugged on her comforter. Amy opened one eye and saw the smiling face of her son. Excitement was practically radiating from him. She gave him a tired smile as she sat up.

"You did?" John nodded his head and then tugged on her hand so she'd get up. When she obliged, John dragged her to the bathroom over to his little Spiderman potty chair and pointed in the bowl before looking back up at her and smiling. Sure enough John had gone potty all by himself. She checked around the potty for any spills before scooping him up and kissing his cheek. "That's my big boy," she praised him with a smile. Potty training had been hit or miss with John in the mornings over the past couple of weeks. Sometimes he'd go right when he woke up and sometimes he wouldn't, but would then have to go when they were halfway to the nursery. Today was definitely a hit. _Hurray for a Christmas miracle_ she thought amusedly as she helped John wash his hands and then carried him back into his room to get him dressed. Once he was dressed Amy carried him into her room so she could put on her robe. Once it was securely tied, she took John's hand and they walked down the stairs. Amy had intended to take John into the kitchen and get him a snack to hold him over until breakfast but the lights on the Christmas tree grabbed his attention and he tugged on Amy's hand and tried to head towards it. Amy chuckled and picked John up so they could go into the kitchen.

"Daddy's still sleeping," she whispered to him.

"Daddy?" he asked curiously, looking back towards the living room.

"Shhh," Amy whispered back. "Yes, John, daddy." She secured John in his high chair and got out a pack of fruit snacks for him. She opened the little package and dumped them out on his tray and then headed towards the fridge to grab his sippie cup. When she placed it on his tray John looked up at her.

"Won my big boy cup pwease mommy," he said. Amy smiled down at her son. _He's growing up so fast_ she thought sadly as she picked up his sippie cup and headed to the cupboard to get his small plastic cup to transfer the juice into. She placed the cup on his tray and watched him pick it up and take a sip, only a tiny bit of juice dribbling down his chin. John promptly wiped his chin with his sleeve and went back to enjoying his fruit snacks. Amy stretched and yawned just as Ricky came into the kitchen. Her yawn quickly turned into a little yelp when Ricky put his arms around her waist. John laughed as Amy turned her head to see who her attacker was. She left out a little huff when she eyes landed on Ricky.

"**Must** you do that?" she asked slightly irritated. Ricky would've felt guilty for startling her if he didn't think she looked positively adorable in her fluffy purple bathrobe and fuzzy house shoes with her hair slightly tousled as she looked up at him. He kissed her nose as he chuckled.

"I promise I don't startle you on purpose," he assured her just as Ashley came into the kitchen, also wearing a robe and house slippers.

"No hanky-panky in the kitchen," she said as she yawned, heading to the pantry to pull out the instant hot cocoa packets. Ricky kissed Amy's temple and then went over to John to kiss his forehead while Amy got a glass out of the cupboard to pour herself a glass of juice. "Should we wake up mom and dad?" Ashley asked as she filled the teapot with water. Amy shook her head and pushed her hair over her shoulder.

"Nah. It's still early. We should let Robbie sleep in a little bit longer," Amy told her. Ashley put the pot on the stove and turned it on. She hopped up on the counter to wait for the water to boil.

"All done," John declared. Ricky took John's cup and walked over to the sink to deposit it there while Amy wiped John's hands with a paper towel. She then placed one of his coloring books and some crayons on his tray to occupy him.

"We might as well get started on breakfast," Amy declared, rolling up the sleeves of her robe to wash her hands. Between the three of them they cooked French toast, scrambled eggs, bacon and a can of Pillsbury Grand biscuits. The smell of a hot breakfast woke up Anne and George. They put on their robes and then George headed downstairs while Anne went to wake up Robbie.

"Hi gwanpa," John said politely when George came into view of the kitchen. George smiled at his grandson and then nodded a greeting to his daughters and Ricky, who were all seated at the kitchen table eating. Anne came down a few minutes later.

"Merry Christmas everyone," Anne said with a smile as she entered the kitchen carrying Robbie, who was rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

"Mare cwissmiss gwanma," John said with a smile before stuffing part of his biscuit in his mouth. Anne secured Robbie in his high chair and then walked over to John to give his cheek a kiss. She then turned to George and gave him a kiss before she walked over to the table to give each of her girls a kiss. They knew it was coming and presented their cheeks to their mother so she could kiss them. She then kissed the top of Ricky's head and he looked up at Anne briefly before looking at Amy with confusion. Amy chuckled.

"She gives us all a kiss first thing Christmas morning," Amy explained.

"It's my way of saying I'm thankful this Christmas day for my family," Anne added as she began to make a pot of coffee. George meanwhile fixed Robbie a plate and set it on his tray. Ricky stared down at his plate and smiled, inwardly rather happy that Anne thought of him as a member of her family. He knew Amy's family accepted and included him but it was still nice to actually **hear** that they considered him family, at least every once in a while. The teens finished their breakfast and got up to secure their dishes and allow Anne and George to sit at the table. The phone rang and Ashley answered it.

"Juergens residence."

"Hi, Ashley. This is Eugene."

"Hey gramps," Ashley said with a smile. "Merry Christmas."

"And Merry Christmas to you too. I figured someone would be up by now with one of the tykes and I just wanted to wish you all a Merry Christmas before everyone got lost in their presents," he explained. Ashley could hear in his voice that he was smiling.

"Hang on," Ashley said. She turned to her family behind her and held up the phone. "Everyone say 'Merry Christmas'," she instructed.

"Merry Christmas!" everyone called out. Ashley put the phone back up to her ear.

"Did you hear 'em?" Eugene chuckled.

"Yeah. Tell them we send our love."

"Will do."

"Okay. See you soon."

"Bye."

"Bye." Ashley hung up the phone and turned around to look at everyone.

"He said they send their love." George looked over at Anne worriedly and she gave him a reassuring smile to let him know she was alright. Even though this would be the first Christmas Mimsy wasn't with them, she also knew Eugene wanted to take Mimsy to spend some time with his family.

"All done," John declared once more.

"Done," Robbie parroted, his little plate also empty. The family worked together to get the boys and their high chairs cleaned up and then everyone headed into the living room. Amy and Ricky sat on the couch, John sitting on the floor in front of them. George sat next to the tree and Ashley sat on the floor near him trying to keep Robbie away from the presents. Anne retrieved the video camera and set it up on the mantle and pointed it towards the tree before sitting down on the floor as well. George turned towards the tree and began reading the names on the gifts and then handing them to their intended recipient. Once everybody had a gift they opened them, John and Robbie tearing the paper off their presents unceremoniously.

As the Juergens family began tackling their gifts, Grace and Kathleen were just waking up. Grace yawned and stretched under her covers and then slowly sat up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She slipped her feet into her fuzzy house slippers and pulled on her robe.

"Merry Cwismiss!" Tom cheered when Grace opened her bedroom room, causing her to shriek. She quickly composed herself and glared at her brother.

"Tom, could 'ya give please give me a minute to fully wake up before you scare me half to death?" Hearing the commotion in the hallway, Kathleen came out of her room, tying her robe around her as she did so. She smiled at Tom's amused smile and Grace's slight frown.

"Come on, Tom, give your sister a break. It's Christmas." Kathleen looked between her children and chuckled. "So are we gonna eat first or open presents?" she asked with a smile, already knowing the answer. Grace and Tom looked at each other and grinned.

"Presents," they said in unison and then dashed down the stairs to the living room. Kathleen chuckled as she followed her children down the stairs with a sad sigh. _Even though it's not quite the same without you, Marshall, it's nice to see the kids so happy_. When she reached the living room she found her children sitting on the floor near the Christmas tree, excitement on their faces. She joined them on the rug and Tom looked under the tree to find everyone a present with their name on it. He handed a present to Grace and his mom and then found one for himself.

"And…go!" Tom instructed, a gleeful smile on his face. Kathleen laughed as she watched her teenagers eagerly begin shredding wrapping paper as they tried to get to their presents as fast as possible. _It feels good to laugh_ she thought as she began opening her own gift.

The Treacy household was a little more subdued, for the moment. Lauren's family had a tradition of eating breakfast together before opening presents so that everyone could focus on enjoying their gifts without having to take a break to eat. Plus, by eating first they could get all the breakfast dishes cleared and cleaned up so the task wouldn't need to be done before Christmas dinner preparations could commence. They were enjoying a meal of pancakes, sausage links, scrambled eggs and croissants while the stereo in the living room pumped out Christmas music from the CD it was currently playing. Sure her family wasn't flashy but she enjoyed quiet family time like this. There were no outside distractions or drama, just Lauren and her family quietly enjoying simply being together at the dining table. She looked around the table and caught her mother's eye. They shared a smile and then went back to enjoying their food.

The Stone household was even quieter than the Treacys' as Jack and his father were still sleeping in. Only Jack's mother was up, making preparations for their brunch. Since they lived so far from their relatives and knew they wouldn't be going anywhere Christmas day, the Stone family slept in. However, Jack's mom always woke up early and made preparations for brunch so that when her boys woke up it wouldn't take very long to cook everything. She sighed contentedly as she covered a medium sized bowl of beaten eggs with Saran wrap and placed it in the fridge to actually scramble later. When her husband had died she never imagined she'd ever feel at peace again, let alone remarry. But as she reminisced about how her life had turned out she smiled. _Life has a way of surprising you_ she mused with a smile as she added a bowl of shredded potatoes to the fridge as well; she would fry them up for hash browns later. _Our little family's not perfect but God keeps looking out for us and I couldn't be more grateful._

The Cooperstein household was quiet for the moment but was about to get a little louder as Madison woke up and sleepily rolled out of bed, shuffling towards her closet to grab her robe. As she slid her arms through the sleeves she suddenly realized it was Christmas and her face lit up with a smile. She quickly tied her robe, slipped her feet into her slippers and dashed downstairs. Her dad and stepmom were sitting on the couch, each sipping a cup of hot cider, and chuckled when they heard her thundering down the stairs.

"Well good morning, sleepyhead," her dad teased. Even as a child Madison always slept in on Christmas morning but instantly became wide awake as soon as it dawned on her what day it was. They had been up for a good hour just waiting for Madison to join them downstairs.

"Morning," Madison said in passing as she made a beeline for the Christmas tree and began moving presents around to find one with her name on it. Her dad chuckled and set his mug on a coaster on the coffee table in front of him. He turned to his wife with a smile.

"Shall we join the little whirlwind?" She smiled and nodded and the two of them rose from the couch to join Madison on the floor. Madison already had her first present open and squealed when she saw a new digital camera. She launched herself at her dad and threw her arms around him, almost knocking him backwards.

"Thank you, daddy!" she exclaimed. Being on the yearbook staff had given her practice being a photographer and she'd been begging her dad for weeks for this particular camera so she could take better photos. She released him almost as quickly as she had thrown herself at him and stared down at the camera with awe, planning all the amazing pictures she could take with her new camera.

As Madison's parents laughed at her enthusiasm, Betty was sadly looking back and forth between her breakfast plate and Ben. She could tell that he was still sad about Mercy not being with them for Christmas but she wasn't sure how to cheer him up. Ben eventually felt her staring at him and looked up. He could see in her eyes that she was worried about him and he felt touched. Betty may be new to being a mother but Ben knew that she genuinely cared about him and he was thankful for that. He gave her a small smile.

"Thanks, Betty." Betty looked at him with a mixture of surprise and confusion.

"For what, Ben?"

"For caring about me. I can see it in your eyes," he explained. "And I promise I'm doing okay. Not great, but okay," he promised, giving her another little small to emphasize his point. Betty gave him one right back.

"I'm glad to hear that, Ben." Leo was sitting next to Betty and he smiled at her before glancing back down at his plate. _Family's somethin' else_ he thought with a bemused smile. _They can change over time, losing some people, gaining others, but in the end there's always love_.

Across town Nora was just waking up and she stretched. She laid in her bed for a moment before she remembered something and smiled. _I get to spend part of the day with my son and grandson. And the rest of their family._ She got out of bed with a smile as she made her way to her bathroom to shower. _It's been so long since I've had a good Christmas and I know this one at least will be._

Ruben and Cindy were also just waking up, although not quite as cheerfully. Cindy took a deep breath and sighed as her head rested on her husband's chest. Ruben's arm gently rubbed her shoulder and Cindy shifted her head to look up at him, seeing her own sadness reflected in his eyes.

"All we can do is just try to get through the day," he said quietly. Cindy nodded and then lifted her head as she heard someone sniffling. She and Ruben looked at each other worriedly and quickly got out of bed to comfort their daughter. They followed the sound of her sniffles and found Adrian sitting on the floor of Mercy's nursery, facing her crib, with a small pile of gifts. They approached her and slowly lowered themselves to the floor to sit on either side of her.

"Adrian, honey," Cindy said gently. "What are you doing with those?" Adrian turned shimmering eyes to her mother and held up one of the gifts so her mom could read the name tag. Cindy glanced down at the present and her vision began to waver as her own eyes became misty. Adrian was holding a gift for Mercy.

"I'd forgotten how much we'd bought for her and that they were all already under the tree," Adrian explained and then she sniffled once more. I woke up early and decided to just take a peak and see how many gifts I had under the tree. You know, since I couldn't really bend down and look before." She didn't have to further explain that statement because her parents knew why that had been the case. "And then I saw a gift for Mercy and remembered so I got all her gifts out from under the tree and I just wanted to show her that we loved her. Love her," Adrian quickly corrected, wiping away the stray tear that had snuck out of her left eye. Cindy pulled Adrian into a hug and rubbed her back.

"I miss her so much, mom," Adrian said, her voice sounding broken and defeated. Cindy felt a tear slip down her cheek as Ruben wrapped his arms around his little family. _It's going to take a miracle to get us through this day_ Ruben realized as he sat there listening to his daughter cry, feeling her body shake from the sobs. _We're __**definitely**__ gonna need some Christmas cheer._


	29. Christmas Kisses

Ricky, Ashley and George were sitting on the living room rug playing with the boys and their new toys. Once all the torn wrapping paper, discarded bows and excess packing materials had all been cleared away, the adults tag-teamed watching John and Robbie so the others could take their gifts up to their rooms, shower and get dressed, Ricky taking his gifts, overnight bag and tux from the concert out to the trunk of his car. After everyone was ready for the day, Anne and Amy headed to the kitchen to prepare dishes to bring with them to Margaret and Shakur's house for dinner, Anne making a green bean casserole and Amy baking brownies. While George, Ashley and Ricky played in the living room with the boys, Christmas music played on the stereo. The timer sounded on the oven and Amy walked over and opened the door. The smell of fresh baked brownies began wafting into the rest of the house and John's head lifted at the scent. He quickly got up and ran into the kitchen.

"Bwownie mommy?" he asked, a smile on his face. Amy chuckled as she closed the oven door and then turned to place the hot pan on a pot holder on the counter so it could cool. Ricky came into the kitchen a moment later, having gotten up to see what his son was getting into.

"Not yet, sweetie. You have to wait 'til after we have dinner at Grandma Margaret's." John pouted and gave a little whimper. Ricky smirked as he stooped down to pick John up.

"Sorry, buddy. You gotta wait 'til dessert," Ricky informed his pouting toddler. "Let's go back into the living room and see what everybody else is up to, huh?" He headed back in the direction of the living room while Amy got to work cleaning up from her brownie-making venture.

In the living room Robbie and George were playing with Robbie's brand new Monsters Inc. action figures and making growling noises as they made the toys walk around. Once Ricky set John back down near his new toys, he, Ashley and Ricky resumed playing with John's new activity table. He had outgrown his old one and this new one had a compartment filled with enlarged Legos and part of the table had a Lego surface for John to stick them to. George and the teens kept the toddlers occupied until around lunch time. Anne had prepared snacks for everyone and they sat at the dining room table, the boys in their high chairs, as everyone took a break to eat just enough food to satisfy them until dinner. After lunch Anne and Amy put the boys down for a nap and then everyone gathered in the living room to watch the Christmas movies playing on TV. George turned off the stereo and picked up the remote to turn on the TV. He and Anne sat on one end of the couch, George putting his arm around Anne, while Ricky and Amy sat on the other end, Amy snuggled up close to Ricky and his arm around her. Ashley sat in the loveseat with her legs tucked underneath her. Two baby monitors sat on the coffee table as the family watched Miracle on 34th Street.

When the movie reached the impromptu wedding scene, Ricky smirked. He knew he planned on proposing to Amy before she graduated and he wasn't sure how he planned to do it. What he **did** know is that when he and Amy got married it wouldn't be a spur of the moment sort of thing or a surprise to either one of them. Plus, he knew Amy wouldn't want to get married without their families and John there. He glanced down at Amy and saw that her eyes were glued to the TV. He smiled as he simply watched her for a few minutes. As much time as he spent with her, as often as he talked to her, as often as they'd cuddled, hugged and made out, sometimes Ricky still couldn't believe that Amy had willingly chose to be with him. Two years ago he never would've imagined that he'd be sitting on Amy's couch, snuggling, with her family around, on Christmas day. He thought about where he'd started from and where he was now and he knew that even though he'd had to do a lot of soul searching, face his demons and mature, Amy had been a major reason he'd done any of it. Sure he'd done it for John too, but if Amy hadn't had their son, it all could've turned out so much differently, so much worse. _And that's why you're my angel_ he thought with a smile as he kissed the top of her head. Amy smiled and looked up at him. She smiled brightly when she saw love and admiration in his eyes, knowing he felt those things for her. She shifted her head to give him a brief kiss before turning her attention back to the movie.

Once the movie ended Amy picked up John's baby monitor and headed into the kitchen, Ricky following to get himself a glass of water. She set the monitor on the counter and began collecting what she needed to prepare the filling and topping for her peppermint brownies. Ricky pulled out one of the kitchen table chairs and sat down to watch her. He watched in awe as she measured and mixed the ingredients from memory.

"Hey, Amy?" he asked.

"Hmm?" she replied, not bothering to look up from the mixing bowl she held in her arms.

"How are you so good at baking but not at cooking?" She quickly glanced up to see if he was teasing her and noticed that he was sincerely curious. Amy shrugged as she continued mixing the dry ingredients for the filling.

"I don't know," she answered honestly. "Baking's just different somehow," she explained, setting the bowl on the counter to add the liquid ingredients. "It's like it requires a different part of my brain or something. Even when I follow the cooking instructions most of the food doesn't turn out right, except for the few dishes I know how to cook well." She put down the whisk she was using to check how cool the brownie pan was and Ricky snuck up to the counter to stick his finger in the bowl, attempting to sneak a bit of filling. Amy, however, saw him and smacked his hand away, giving him an amused look as she arched an eyebrow. "You have to wait just like everybody else." Ricky pouted.

"But I'm your **boyfriend**," he playfully whined. "Shouldn't I get like a family and friends free sample taste? I can't have just a teensy weeny little bit?" he asked, holding his left pointer finger and thumb up in front of his face and slightly apart, peering through them with one eye closed like he would a telescope. Amy chuckled and shook her head.

"Sorry. I don't play favorites," she informed him with a smile. She picked up the bowl and a rubber spatula and began scraping out the filing onto the brownies, while Ricky watched the drizzling filling mournfully. She tried to hide a smile as she used the spatula to scrap most of the filling out of the bowl and then she handed it to Ricky, whose eyes lit up as a smile spread across his face. Ricky used his fingers to get the remaining swirls of filling out of the bowl while Amy spread the filling evenly on top of the brownies. She glanced up at her boyfriend and laughed at his happy expression. "Better?" He nodded and licked his fingers.

"Thanks, angel."

"You're welcome." Amy washed up the dishes she'd just dirtied and then grabbed the baby monitor and Ricky's elbow, knowing full well if she left him alone in the kitchen he'd try to steal more filling from the brownie pan. They rejoined her parents and Ashley in the living room to watch the rest of another movie that was on TV and wait for the boys to wake up. When sounds of stirring toddlers came over the baby monitors, Ricky and George headed upstairs to get Robbie and John while Amy headed back into the kitchen to finish the topping for her brownies and finish off the dessert. She covered the pan with foil just as Ricky and George came downstairs, slightly sleepy toddlers and diaper bags in their arms. There were several minutes of activity as everyone secured the house, put on their coats, someone refilled Moose's water and food bowls, and everyone got ready to head out. Ricky, Amy and John got into Ricky's his car while George, Anne, Ashley and Robbie piled into the SUV, knowing they'd need it for when Amy and John rode back home with them. The drive to Margaret and Shakur's was short and once the vehicles were parked on the street, everyone piled back out and made their way to the front door.

"Won do it," John said, pointing to the doorbell. Ricky held John close to it and John pressed the button, giggling when he heard the chimes sound inside the house.

"Coming!" Shakur called out. He opened the door with a smile then stepped back so everyone could enter. There was a chorus of 'Merry Christmas' as everyone greeted him and he greeted them back. Ricky set John down and he quickly ran towards the living room, where he knew his toy bin was.

"Oooohhh!" John called out when he spotted Margaret and Shakur's Christmas tree. John turned to run back the way he'd just come in order to get his parents. Luckily Amy and Ricky were both walking into the living room and met him halfway. "Mommy, daddy, twee!" he said with a smile while pointing behind him to said tree. John quickly ran back towards the tree and stopped, simply staring at the lights. Margaret and Shakur had opted for flashing lights and John was simply enraptured by them, watching them blink and flash with a look of pure wonder on his face, causing the adults to smile and laugh.

"Ah the joys of youth," Margaret said with a chuckle from her position in the doorway that led to the kitchen. Amy and Anne made their way towards her, each carrying the dish they were contributing to the dinner. Margaret gave each of them a one-armed hug and then showed them where they could set their dishes. Nora was already sitting at the kitchen table with a mug of hot cocoa. She smiled when Anne and Amy entered the kitchen. She waited until they'd divested themselves of their dishes before giving them each a hug. "Shall we?" Margaret asked, motioning towards the living room. The ladies went ahead of her and they quickly joined Ashley and the boys in the living room, where they found John and Robbie both just standing in front of the tree watching the flashing lights. Shakur got out his camera and began fiddling with it as Margaret took a seat on the floor near John. "John," she said gently, succeeding in getting John's attention. "Would you like to open your presents?" John instantly forgot about the lights and nodded his head eagerly.

"Pwesent pwese," he said, holding out his arms, thinking she was about to hand him his present right then. Everyone laughed as Margaret reached under the tree and handed John his present. John quickly plopped down and tore into the wrapping paper as several cameras materialized and snapped away. "Ooohh," John said when he'd unwrapped his gift. He held it up for Amy to see. "Wook mommy! Spida-man!" he said happily, holding up a Spiderman bath set Margaret and Shakur had gotten for him. It contained a bubble bath solution, little washcloth with Spiderman on it and several Spiderman-themed water toys.

"What do you say, John?" Amy reminded him with a smile. John looked at Margaret.

"Tank you." Margaret leaned forward and kissed his forehead.

"You're welcome, sweetie." Margaret then reached under the tree to retrieve the gifts she and Shakur had gotten for everyone else. As she did so, Nora and the Juergens family joined Margaret near the tree and they all exchanged the gifts they had gotten for her, Shakur and Nora and then they shared a second Christmas morning.

Nora looked around and smiled at what she saw: happy faces, smiles, people genuinely happy to be there together, and love. Lots and lots of love. She watched the way Amy and Ricky looked at each other as they watched their son's pure joy over his gifts. She watched as the same joy washed over George and Anne's faces as they watched Robbie open his. She saw Margaret and Shakur smiling as they, like her, simply enjoyed the scene before them. _It's so nice to be part of a family again._ Suddenly John walked over to her and threw his arms around her neck to give her a hug and she put an arm around him instinctively. John pulled back with a smile.

"Tank you for puppy gwanma," he said, holding up the little stuffed puppy dog she'd gotten him for Christmas. Tears sprang to her eyes and she pulled John in for another hug; he hugged her back.

"You're very welcome, John." She looked up with water eyes at Amy and Ricky as she released John. Hearing her grandson call her grandma had just become the best gift she'd ever received and she gave Amy and Ricky a watery smile to thank them for allowing her to be a part of John's life; they smiled right back. Seeing that all the presents had been opened, George made an announcement.

"Alrighty," he said, picking up his family's video camera. "We brought along our video from this morning so you three could see John open the rest of his gifts," George explained with a smile. While the women worked to pick up the used packaging, George and Shakur headed towards the TV to hook up the video camera so it would play through the TV. Everyone got settled on the couch or the floor, Amy calling John over to her so he would watch the TV and stop playing for a moment. George hit play and the two families relived the Juergens family Christmas morning, Nora smiling brightly, for two reasons. One, she was watching her grandson have the same joyous reaction to his other gifts that she had just witnessed. Two, and almost more importantly, she watched her son enjoying Christmas morning with the woman he loved and his son. She watched as her son was openly welcomed into another family as a member of it, but she wasn't sad about it this time because it was different. Her son wasn't being welcomed into a foster family; he was being welcomed into his own. He had finally found the love he deserved and was being welcomed with open arms by both the woman he loved and her family. She saw the peace on her son's face and the happiness in his eyes. She also smirked to herself as she watched because she could tell that this wasn't some little crush or case of extreme infatuation with Amy and Ricky; this ran much deeper. _I may be getting a daughter-in-law soon_ she thought with amusement as she quickly turned her head to glance over at Amy. She noticed Amy was sitting in front of Ricky leaning against him with John in her lap as they watched the video. _Yep. Definitely soon_. When the video finished playing, Shakur spoke to George.

"Thanks, George. Can we get a copy of that?"

"Me too," Nora said eagerly. George nodded his head.

"Sure." A timer sounded in the kitchen and Margaret rose from her place on the couch to head to the kitchen. Anne and Ashley followed her to see if she needed any help finishing up their dinner while Nora and Amy remained in the living room to play with the boys. Shakur turned on the stereo and Christmas music began to play in the background as the boys played. Nora found herself sitting near Ricky and began to chat with him.

"So you got any big plans for the rest of Christmas break?" He stuck his bottom lip out slightly and shook his head.

"No. Just hanging with Amy and John mostly."

"Ricky, would you please start setting the table!" Margaret called out from the kitchen. Ricky rose to head into the kitchen and Amy rose to help him.

"Were going mommy?" John asked as Amy stood up.

"To help daddy for a minute," she explained.

"No play?" he asked, holding up one of the toy trucks he'd retrieved from the toy bin he had at the house. Amy turned to look at Nora and then back down to John.

"How about if Grandma Nora plays with you?" she asked him. Nora was touched that Amy had suggested her but wasn't sure John knew here well enough yet to want her to play with him. She was mistaken.

"'Kay," he said, walking over to Nora to hand her his truck. Once she took it he grabbed her hand and tugged so she'd get up. Nora's heart melted that her grandson wanted to play with her and she happily obliged. John released her hand when they reached the spot on the rug he wanted to play on and she lowered herself to the rug to join him. Amy joined Ricky in the kitchen and they got to work setting the dining table. After Amy finished setting all the silverware down she headed to the edge of the dining room to call out to John while Ricky worked on setting the glasses next to each plate.

"John, do you have to go potty?" Amy asked. Nora and John both looked up towards Amy and a Cheshire cat-sized grin broke out on her face. Amy noticed it and her brows furrowed together in confusion as John replied.

"No." He went back to playing. Noticing that his grandma wasn't paying attention he tugged on her sleeve. "Gwanma?" he asked.

"What?" Amy asked Nora, placing a hand on her hip. George glanced up to try and figure out what Amy was asking about and why John couldn't get Nora's attention. George saw Nora's smile and looked at Amy. He saw what Nora saw and the same type of grin broke out on George's face. "What!?" Amy asked a little more forcefully, placing her other hand on her other hip. Now Ashley and Shakur looked at Amy to see what was going on and they also grinned. Not as large as Nora and George but they grinned nonetheless. "Would somebody please tell me why you're all looking at me like that," she said, pushing her hair back. Ricky finished his task and came to stand beside her.

"Like what?" he asked her before turning to look out into the living room. Now Ashley and Shakur's grins got bigger and Ricky joined in Amy's confusion. "What?" Ricky lifted his leg to take a step towards the foursome in the living room.

"Ah ah ah!" Nora called out, waving her left pointer finger back and forth. "You can't move yet," she said in a sing-song voice. Anne and Margaret come to the dining room doorway to see what all the commotion was about. When Margaret spotted Amy and Ricky and then noticed the cheeky smiles they were getting she chuckled. Ricky turned to look at her.

"What's so funny?" Margaret smiled at them.

"Lean your heads forward and look up," she instructed. Confused, Amy and Ricky did as she told them and they saw a spring of mistletoe hung above them. While there wasn't a doorway between the dining room and the living room, there was an opening in the wall and Margaret and Shakur had chosen to pin instead of hang a spring of mistletoe in the middle of the wall above the opening and Amy and Ricky had managed to stand underneath it.

"Kiss her! Kiss her! Kiss her!" Ashley began to chant. George soon joined her and he was quickly followed by Nora. Shakur couldn't help but laugh as John and Robbie joined in too, not really understanding what was going on but wanting to participate. The little cheer of 'kiss her' was joined by the toddler's version 'kiss-er'. Amy blushed and Ricky grinned. He spun Amy into his arms and dipped her. She giggled but it was cut short as Ricky planted a good one on her. Her arms wound around his neck as their audience clapped and cheered. When he pulled back Amy was blushing but smiling.

"I love you," he whispered to her, giving her a tender smile.

"I love you too," she whispered back. Ricky lowered his head to kiss her again, briefly this time, and then he stood them up. _Yep_ Nora thought. _Best Christmas ever!_


	30. Life Goes On

January rolled around and everyone returned to their normal routines once the new term started. The Juergens family continued their nightly family dinners and Anne and George continued their weekly date nights, their teenagers often teasing them slightly whenever they caught their parents kissing each other or making out around the house. Secretly the girls were glad that all signs indicated their parents would be getting remarried at some point in the future. Ashley was also patiently waiting for her sixteenth birthday so she could take her driver's test. Her driving skills had progressed quite a bit since she began driver's ed in the fall and she couldn't wait to be the proud owner of her own driver's license. She had even circled the date on her calendar and was anxiously counting down the days 'til her birthday.

Ricky and Amy continued dating, eating dinner together with John as a family Wednesday evenings and spending every other Saturday together doing something with John. Together they also continued their potty training efforts with John and looked forward to his second birthday, Ricky more so than Amy, who always discussed it with a touch of sadness at how fast her baby was growing up.

Football season had officially ended so Jesse had more time to spend with Lauren. Over the rest of Christmas break the two of them had double dated with Madison and Justin several times and had a blast. On one of their double dates they had gone ice skating and Jesse marveled at how graceful Lauren was on her skates, thanks in part to her ballet training. Lauren noticed Jesse had begun starring at her more frequently during the date and while she found it somewhat flattering, she also found it a little unsettling and asked him about it. Jesse blushed and managed to stumble through an explanation of how moved he'd been by her performance in the Nutcracker and that he now enjoyed just watching her and the way she moved. Lauren was touched by his newfound appreciation for her ballet talents and it caused genuine love for Jesse to begin to grow inside her.

Justin, having been floored by his girlfriend's singing abilities, went in search of a way to get Madison to sing more often and stumbled upon a café in town that featured a karaoke night twice a week. He convinced their little six-pack to go over the break and they had a blast, Amy and Ricky because it was nice to have the night off; Lauren and Jesse because they enjoyed spending time together regardless of what they were doing; and Justin and Madison because Madison got to showcase her singing skills and Justin got to listen to and watch her do so. They sang a duet and even though Justin was able to carry a tune rather well, he was perfectly happy to let Madison have the spotlight. The two of them had decided to return to the café at least one night a week, with or without their little posse.

Grace and Grant had likewise spent the rest of their Christmas vacation dating, as well as Grant attending Bible classes and church services with Grace. While he still wasn't convinced he was ready to go all in and become a Christian, he found the Bible classes and Reverend Stone's sermons helpful as he continued to try to wrap his head around what had happened to Ben and Adrian. Grace's faith was further strengthened by Grant's presence. She had spent quite a bit of the break visiting with Adrian and Ben and praying for them. Having Grant sit beside her in class and services each Sunday coupled with their theological discussions as Grant posed questions to her from time to time encouraged her to keep studying her Bible and filled her heart with joy that she was able to put her faith into practice by setting a Christian example for her boyfriend.

Alice and Henry were still struggling with how to support and encourage Ben. Even though he'd come back to school and seemed a little more put together emotionally, emphasis on **seemed**, they had known him long enough and knew him well enough that they could see he was still hurting and trying to heal. They had spent quite a bit of their break together talking about Ben, worrying about his mental state and trying to figure out the best way to let him know they were there for him without saying or bringing up anything that might trigger an emotional breakdown. And yet they didn't wanna feel like they had to walk on eggshells around him either.

Kathleen and Nora had both made continuing resolutions for themselves to keep taking their lives one day at a time and so far they had stuck to their word. Kathleen still missed Marshall very much but having her mother around was a daily reminder that she had to make the most of the time she had with the loved ones still with her and not stay stuck in the past, missing what had been and constantly wondering what could've been if life had turned out differently. Nora had found new resolve to face and deal with her demons after spending time with her family for Christmas, and at this point she considered each and every one of them family. Watching Ricky interact with John showed her how much of Ricky's childhood she had actually missed and she refused to miss any more of his life. Her estrangement from her son had also caused her to miss her grandson's 'baby years' and she didn't want to miss anymore of his life either. She knew the only way to make sure she didn't would be to stay sober and not get high. She knew she had some lingering emotional scars and baggage that had caused her to relapse in the past but now she had even more reasons **not** to slip up, and if facing life one day at a time was the only way to remain a part of her son and grandson's lives, then that's what she would do.

Leo, Betty and Cindy were taking a page out of Nora and Kathleen's books and also taking life one day at a time. They knew they would never get over losing Mercy and truthfully they didn't want to; they never wanted to forget the little girl who had captured their hearts before she'd even been born. Instead they did their best to honor Mercy's memory by trying to be people she would've been proud to call her grandparents and showing their love for her by supporting her parents mentally and emotionally. Even Ben was slowly learning to put one foot in front of the other again, even though his resolve was tested half way through the first week back to school. He'd entered the hallway and headed towards his locker when he spotted Ricky and Amy entering the hallway from the other end. They were talking amongst themselves and hadn't noticed him yet. Ben was momentarily transported back to the first day he'd come back to school after Mercy's death and the anger he felt. Now, however, that anger was a momentary blip on his emotional radar. He knew they knew what had happened because during one of his recent conversations with Grace she'd told him she'd called Amy. Even though Grace explained she was merely seeking additional support for Adrian, Ben had initially been upset that neither of them had spoken to him or Adrian, even if just to offer their condolences. That anger had subsided once Grace explained that Amy was unsure if approaching Adrian, given their past history, was a wise idea and Ben realized he agreed with Amy's concern and understood her dilemma. Now as he watched them, part of Ben still felt it was unfair that John had lived while Mercy had died but he knew that the way his life had turned out since he began high school wasn't entirely their fault; he played a part in shaping it too.

The only person who hadn't returned to any sort of routine was Adrian. She still couldn't bring herself to return to school and face her peers, or Amy and Ricky. Logically she knew it wasn't their fault she'd lost Mercy just as she knew it wasn't their fault she'd gotten pregnant in the first place. Even though Dr. Timmons had been helping Adrian come to terms with these facts, part of her was actually scared of going back to school. She would return a failure, having failed at bringing her daughter into the world. She also knew that she would be ridiculed, possibly even shamed, given her past reputation and all, and she still didn't feel that the emotional barriers she'd erected all these years to block out the pain from other people's words were repaired. Losing Mercy had been an almost fatal blow to her self-esteem and sense of self-worth and she wasn't sure she would be able to maintain her composure if she were verbally assaulted by her enemies, frienemies and other haters. She also still had mixed feelings where Amy and Ricky were concerned. Adrian knew she'd done her level best to keep Ricky away from Amy and John when they were together and now, knowing Ben would never get to be a father to the little girl they had created, she felt guilty for trying to keep Ricky away from his child. Having had her daughter taken away from her, Adrian felt guilty for attempting to worm her way into Amy's life and take John away from her. _How do you apologize for that? This is one of those times when 'I'm sorry' just isn't gonna cut it_ she thought with frustration as she flopped down on her bed and stared up at her ceiling. _And how do I face two people who were so entangled in why I ended up pregnant knowing they get to see their baby every day and I never will?_

As Adrian laid on her bed swimming in her own thoughts, Cindy sat at the kitchen table nursing a mug of chamomile tea. She sighed as she stared into her mug. She had taken two weeks off so she could be home with Adrian right after Mercy was born and her leave ended tomorrow. It was only because she had the time off from work and also knew Adrian was going to see Dr. Timmons that Cindy had allowed her to stay home from school after the new term started, but Adrian would have to go back starting on Monday. She also knew that Adrian probably wouldn't. She knew there was an underlying reason Adrian was still hesitant to go back to school but she couldn't get Adrian to confide in her what that was. Unfortunately, since Adrian was eighteen there wasn't anything Cindy could legally do to force Adrian to go to school if she didn't want to. She sighed and then took another sip from her mug. _God please help her through this because I'm all out of ideas._


	31. Quake

"So how do you think you did on the test?" Amy asked as she dried the last plate from their dinner and put it away in the cupboard.

"Pretty good," Ricky replied, wiping his hands on the dish towel and then turning around so he could lean against the sink with his hands resting on the counter. "I still get a couple of the physics formulas mixed up sometimes but I'm hoping I kept 'em straight on the test." Amy smiled encouragingly at him for a moment before the floor began to shake vigorously. John was playing on the floor in the living room and the rattling floor scared him. He whimpered and attempted to stand but the vibrations were too much for him.

"Mommy?," he called out, his voice sounding scared and small. His call was unnecessary because the instant Amy and Ricky felt the floor shake they dashed out of the kitchen towards him. John held out his arms and Amy scooped him up, cradling his head against her with her right hand as her left held him to her snuggly. Ricky placed a hand on the small of Amy's back and together they quickly but shakily made their way to the bedroom doorframe. John clutched Amy's shirt tightly and whimpered when he heard items fall off shelves and crash to the floor. When they reached the doorframe Ricky braced his feet against the sides of the frame as well as his right arm. Amy kept both of her arms tightly around her whimpering son and Ricky clutched Amy to him with his left arm as the floor continued to shake around them, more items crashing to the floor and sliding around. "Mommy," John whimpered once more, as Amy felt his tears begin to wet her shirt.

"Shhh. It's alright, John," she assured him. "We've got you. It's gonna be okay, baby. We're gonna be okay." Amy looked up at Ricky, worry in her eyes and fear on her face.

"We're gonna be okay, Amy," he assured her. She nodded her head and then moved closer to him. They both closed their eyes as they waited for the earthquake to cease, their son protectively wedged between them.

At the Juergens residence Anne was tightly holding Robbie, who was terrified and crying, as she braced herself against the doorway of the dining room.

"ANNE!" George called out in a panic, having been upstairs when the quake started. "ASHLEY!" He could hear Robbie crying but the floor was shaking so bad he could barely stand. He was currently bracing himself against the doorframe of the bathroom and trying to avoid items as they fell out of the medicine cabinet and crashed to the floor, several jars and bottles of who knows what girlie product one of the women in his family used crashing and oozing their colored liquids across the floor.

"ROBBIE AND I ARE OKAY!" came Anne's shouted response, causing George to relax, but only slightly. Ashley was in her bedroom and he had no chance of reaching her to make sure she was okay until the quake ended. Worry about Amy, John and Ricky also flooded George's mind. _Why'd tonight have to be Wednesday!?_ George began to feel a bit of panic creep up his spine when the lights began to flicker. _Please don't let the power go out! Once this stops we need to call Amy and we can't do that if the power goes out._

At the Cooperstein residence Madison and Justin were trying to remain on their feet in the doorway to her kitchen. They had been on their way there to grab a snack when the floor started shaking. Justin braced his feet against the sides of the doorway and lifted his right arm over his head to also brace himself against the top of the doorframe. Madison had her feet braced against Justin's and her arms wrapped around his waist, her head against his chest.

"YOU TWO OKAY?" came her stepmom's worried shout from upstairs.

"WE'RE OKAY!" Justin shouted back. Madison flinched as she heard glasses tumbling out of the cupboard and crashing to the floor. She squeezed her eyes shut and Justin wrapped his free arm around her as they waited for the quake to stop. There was a similar situation at the Boykewich residence. Ben had been upstairs in his room while Leo and Betty had been downstairs when the quake hit.

"BEN!" Leo called out from the living room, where he and Betty were embracing and bracing themselves against the doorway leading from the living room into Leo's office.

"I'M OKAY!" came Ben's shouted reply. Leo sighed with relief that Ben wasn't hurt. He hugged Betty tightly as they waited for the quake to stop and listened to the sound of items falling of shelves and breakables crashing to the floor. At the Treacy residence everyone was currently braced in the doorway of their bedrooms. Lauren's mom looked down the hallway from her bedroom doorway at her two children with relief. She could see them and knew they weren't injured so she felt a little at ease as she and her husband braced themselves against their bedroom doorframe and waited for the quake to end.

At the Bowman residence Grace and Tom hugged each other and braced themselves against the doorway to their dining room. They were both rattled by the earthquake because their mom wasn't home, tonight being the night she went to her widows and widowers' support group meeting.

"I hope mom's alright," Grace said worriedly, looking at her brother and seeing worry reflected in his eyes. Tom was too shaken up to speak and simply nodded his agreement.

Griffin and Adrian, unfortunately, were home alone when the quake hit. They each shakily made their way to the nearest doorway and braced themselves against it. Griffin's thoughts, like Grace's, were with his parents. He hoped they were okay at whatever restaurant they were eating dinner at and he also hoped that Ashley and her family were okay. Adrian was bracing herself in her bedroom doorway and was close to a nervous breakdown. While her parents' wellbeing momentarily flashed through her mind, the pervading thought she had was that she didn't wanna die yet. Yes, she missed Mercy and in the first few moments after Mercy had been taken away by the nurse for the last time she'd wished it had been her instead. But at that moment Adrian knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that she wasn't ready to go.

Back at Ricky's apartment he was only focused on protecting his family. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew he'd need to check up on his parents once the quake stopped but his number one priority at the moment was keeping Amy and John safe. His heart melted as he listened to his son whimper in fear and Amy's gentle voice attempting to soothe him. _I won't let anything happen to you guys_ he silently promised. _No matter what._ The lights suddenly began to flicker and John whimpered again. He gave a little yelp when the lights actually went out.

"It dark mommy," he whimpered. "I scared," he declared miserably as he clutched Amy's shirt a little tighter and began to cry again.

"It's gonna be okay baby. I've got you," Amy assured him, giving the top of his head a kiss. "Mommy and daddy are here with you. It's gonna be okay," she promised him. Several minutes later the quake finally ended and he felt Amy breathe a sigh of relief.

"It's over, John," Amy assured their son. "The ground stopped moving sweetie. It's okay now."

"Was scarwy mommy," John said with a sniffle. Amy rubbed his back.

"I know baby. I know." Ricky released Amy and guided her hand to the doorframe.

"Wait here," he instructed. He slowly made his way towards the kitchen to retrieve a flashlight from under the sink. Thankfully there was just enough light coming through the windows that Ricky was able to avoid the various debris and scattered toys in the living room and see that the quake had caused two cupboards to rattle open and spill the dishes that were in them, turning the kitchen floor into a sea of ceramic and glass shards. He gingerly tiptoed his way around the shards towards the small pantry and retrieved the broom and dustpan. He began sweeping up the mess, guiding everything into a large pile in one corner; he'd do a more thorough clean-up job later. Having cleared a path to the kitchen sink, Ricky set down the broom and opened the cabinet to retrieve his flashlight. He turned it on and headed back towards Amy and John. Using its light he guided them both towards the living room sofa. Once Amy had lowered herself to it, John in her lap, Ricky headed to the closet to retrieve a small handheld radio he'd gotten in case of emergency. He joined Amy and John on the couch and then turned it on, adjusting the dial until he found a news station.

"It seems that LA is experiencing wide-spread power outages due to the quake as several transformers have blown. There's no estimated timetable for when power will be restored tonight so residents are advised to remain indoors unless absolutely necessary." Ricky and Amy shared a worried look. Amy retrieved her purse from the floor where it had fallen and fished out her cellphone. She checked it quickly and then looked up at Ricky nervously.

"No reception," she stated before turning off her phone. Even though her battery was a little over three-quarters full, she didn't want it to run out in case the power and service outages lasted through the night as she'd have no way to recharge it. Seeing Amy turn off her phone Ricky quickly removed his own from his pocket. Seeing that he also had no service, he followed her example and turned it off. Ricky shifted on the couch so his back was against one of the arms and Amy situated herself between his legs, John still cradled against her. Ricky shut off the flashlight to conserve the batteries and John whimpered. Amy rubbed his back and spoke soothingly to him as Ricky wrapped his little family in his arms. Ricky tossed the blanket on the back of the couch over them and the little family lay together listening to the radio for news updates and waiting for the power to come back on.

At the Juergens residence Anne spoke to Moose, who had rushed to her side when the quake began and he'd heard Robbie crying. Anne reached down and patted the top of Moose's head before reaching for his collar.

"Okay, Moose. We need to go to the living room. Lead the way." Moose gingerly began moving forward, guiding his mistress and little whimpering master safely around objects on the floor. George was slowly making his way down the stairs using the handrail as the stairs were pitch black without the lights on. When he reached the ground floor he called out.

"Anne!?" he said, slowly shuffling his way towards the dining room, where he'd last heard her voice coming from. He was thankful he had on his house slippers as he could feel various bits of debris move out of the way as she shuffled. He kept his arms out in front of him to avoid bumping into any furniture that had shifted during the quake.

"We're okay!" Anne called out, even though George could still hear Robbie sniffling.

"You guys still in the dining room?" he called out.

"No," Anne replied. "We're making our way to the living room," she explained. Anne was shuffling towards the living room much slower than George was shuffling towards her as she was slightly bent forward holding onto Moose's collar. Moose stopped and Anne released his collar to feel for objects around her. She sighed with relief when she finally felt the couch and managed to lower herself and Robbie to it.

"Anne? You guys in here yet?" George asked into the darkness once he'd shuffled his way into the living room. Moose let out a happy bark.

"Yeah. We're on the couch. Be careful though; I have no idea what's on the floor," she cautioned him.

"I'm gonna go find Ash," he explained before turning around and shuffling towards the kitchen, his arms out in front of him searching for furniture in his way.

"MOM? DAD?" they heard Ashley call out. "WHERE ARE YOU GUYS?" Moose barked and then headed towards Ashley.

"IN THE LIVING ROOM, ASH," Anne called out. "AND I THINK MOOSE IS COMING TOWARDS YOU."

"HANG ON," George told her. "I'M HEADING TOWARDS YOU TOO." George slowly maneuvered his way towards the kitchen and listened for sounds of Ashley's movements. "Ash?" he called out once he reached the kitchen.

"Over here," she said. George turned towards the sound of his daughter's voice and shuffled towards her. He stopped when his out stretched arms connected with Ashley's left hand, which she had put out in front of her to feel for her father. George grabbed her hand and then pulled her into a hug, breathing a sigh of relief. He guided them to the kitchen sink and then he felt around for the knob of the sink cabinet. When he found it he knelt down to open it and then felt around for the emergency flashlights they kept there. He turned on the larger of the two when his hands rested on it and used its light to locate the other one. He handed the second one to Ashley and she turned it on so she could make her way back to the living room. George headed upstairs to the attic to retrieve the camping lanterns he and Ashley had bought when they had taken their road trip the summer John was born. Back in the living room Anne looked up when she saw a beam of light and sighed with relief when she saw that Ashley wasn't hurt. Ashley sat next to her mom and snuggled into her side as they waited for George to join them. Moose patiently sat on the rug keeping watch over his family. His ears perked up a few minutes later when he heard George coming down the stairs. George was carrying two camp lanterns under his arm and set them on the couch. He then headed towards the hall closet to retrieve the emergency crank radio. He joined his family on the couch and set to work cranking and tuning the radio.

"Reports are coming in that several cellphone towers have quite broadcasting due to the power outages and some carriers are reporting a loss of service for the moment. Those with service are being cautioned to only make emergency calls as all cellphone users are advised to turn off their phones to conserve power as the city works office is still unable to estimate when power will be restored as they are still assessing the extent of the damage," the newscaster informed them. Anne turned worry-filled eyes towards George who quickly removed his phone from his pocket. He glanced at the screen and his heart sank.

"No service," he stated simply. However, Ashley and Anne knew what that meant: they had no way to contact Amy and make sure she, John and Ricky were alright. George took the newscaster's advice and turned off his phone, vowing to check every hour to see if his cell service had been restored.

As the Juergens family huddled together on their sofa, Grace was using the light from her cellphone to guide her and Tom to the hall closet so they could retrieve the emergency flashlights. Grace opened the closet door when they reached it and Tom grabbed the flashlights from the top shelf. They turned them on and Grace put her phone back in her pocket.

"GRANDMA!" she called out, her voice laced with worry, as she and Tom headed towards the stairs to go check on their mother.

"I'M ALRIGHT!" came her shouted reply. Grace and Tom sighed with relief as they headed towards the guest room, which had become their grandmother's room. When they reached her room they found their grandmother sitting on her bed. She looked up and smiled with relief when she saw her grandchildren. Before she could say anything they heard the front door open.

"GRACE? TOM? MOM?" they heard Kathleen call out. Tom turned around and rushed downstairs while Grace waited for her grandmother to rise and then the two of them headed down together, so they could share the light of the flashlight. When they reached the first floor they found Kathleen with her arm around Tom and heading towards them. Kathleen released Tom to hug both Grace and her mom in turn.

"Thank heavens you three are alright."

"You too," Grace said.

"So I see the power's off here too." Grace nodded. "It's so dark outside. It's pitch black in the areas where power went out and then completely lit up in areas where it didn't. It made the drive home quite an adventure."

"What do you mean?" her mom asked.

"Well I came across several wooden telephone poles that had snapped in half and the top halves were strewn across the roads. My guess is the ones with transformers being down is why the power went out in places. But thankfully there were enough lit streets, houses and buildings that I could see the downed poles and avoid them as I drove back here," she explained. She pulled her children into another hug. "I'm just glad you're all alright."

The atmosphere wasn't quite as unnerving at the Cooperstein residence as their power hadn't gone out. Madison and Justin's first order of business was to call their friends and parents, respectively, and make sure everyone was okay. Justin quickly reached his parents as their power and cell towers hadn't gone out of service in the quake. Madison was able to reach Lauren and find out that she was okay but she got a little nervous when she tried to call Amy and it went straight to voicemail.

"What's wrong?" Justin asked when he saw her worried expression.

"Amy's phone went right to voicemail so I don't really know if she's okay or not," Madison explained, staring down at her phone and willing it be become a magic eight ball and tell her her best friend and her son were okay. Madison sighed and looked up at her boyfriend. "But no news is good news, right?" Justin gave her a small smile back and pulled her into a hug. _Let's hope so._

Much like the Juergens, Adrian and Griffin were sitting in darkened homes, their power having gone out, and they were unable to reach anyone as their cell service had been affected by the quake. There had been various times in Adrian's life when she felt alone but it had never been this extreme. She had no power to see by, only her cellphone, and once her battery died she wouldn't even have that. With no cell service she couldn't reach out to anyone and, almost as important, no one could call and check on her. She had no way of finding out where her parents were at that moment or if they were hurt or not and worse case scenarios began playing in her head. She made her way to her bed and climbed onto it. She leaned her back against the bedframe and pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs. She slowly rocked herself to try and calm her nerves as she waited for the power to come back on or her phone to ring. Griffin wasn't quite as nervous or scared about being home alone in the dark. While he wondered if Ashley and her family were okay, he knew that as long as the power was out and his phone had no service there was no point worrying about it. All he could do now was wait.

The hours ticked by as the residents of Los Angeles waited, some listening to news updates, some simply sitting or lying down in the dark as they waited. Back at Ricky's apartment John had finally drifted off to sleep. He'd been too unsettled to go to sleep at his regular bedtime, despite Amy's soothing, but eventually sleep caught up with him and he passed out. Ricky checked his watch.

"We might as well go to bed," he suggested. He felt Amy look up at him in the dark. "It's late, Amy. Even if the power came back on right now you'd have to wake him up to drive home and it's be even later by the time you got to bed," he reasoned with her. Amy sighed and nodded. It wasn't like they were having an impromptu sleepover without telling her parents; she **couldn't** tell them as her phone still had no service, and she had checked every hour or so, wanting to make sure her family was alright. Amy sat up so Ricky could grab the flashlight. He turned off the radio as he turned on the light. He took Amy's hand and together they slowly made their way to the bedroom, weaving their way around the debris on the floor. When they reached the bedroom Ricky set the flashlight bulb end up on the dresser to light the room a little better while Amy lowered herself and John to the bed. She removed John's shoes and bottoms and then placed him in the middle of the bed. She stood up and removed her shoes, socks and jeans. She turned back to the bed and pulled back the covers. She climbed in next to him and pulled him close to her. She turned around and found Ricky staring at her and John with a mixture of emotions flitting across his face.

Ricky felt conflicted at that moment for three reasons. First of all, a part of him was glad that he would get to fall asleep with Amy next to him again, even if John would be sandwiched between them, and he felt a little guilty for being happy about that when he knew this wasn't exactly a happy situation. Which brought him to conflicted feeling number two. He knew Amy was worried about her family and vice versa and he wanted nothing more to erase her worry because he hated knowing she was upset, even though he also knew that tonight there really wasn't any way for him to do that unless he could wave a magic wand and restore cell service so she could speak to her parents. Along those lines, his third conflicted feeling revolved around the fact he was glad Amy and John were with him that night. He knew if the situation had been reversed and Amy and John had been at home and he had no way to contact her to make sure they were okay that he'd drive himself crazy wondering and worrying about them. He was glad that his little family was about to sleep in the same bed, where he would be able to fall asleep knowing they were both okay. He removed his shoes, socks and pants and then grabbed the flashlight as he made his way over to the bed. He turned off the flashlight as he sat down on the other side of the bed. He climbed under the covers and pulled them up around John as he got comfortable on his side, facing Amy and John. He reached out for Amy and she scooted her and John closer to him so he could wrap them in his arms. He didn't know how to ease Amy's worries tonight but what he could do was keep her and John safe until she could be reunited with her family tomorrow.


	32. Counting Your Blessings

Ricky slowly opened his eyes and smiled at the sight before him. Amy and John were both sound asleep, their faces completely relaxed, not a care in the world. He gently extracted his arms from around them and headed to the bathroom. As he exited the bedroom he noticed that the lights in his apartment were on and he inwardly sighed with relief that the power had come back on. He maneuvered around the mess on the floor and headed to the bathroom. Toiletries were strewn across the floor but thankfully nothing had shattered. Ricky quickly relieved himself and washed his hands and then headed back to the bedroom. He stood at the foot of the bed watching Amy and John sleep for several minutes, knowing he had to but not wanting to wake Amy up. He quietly made his way over to her and bent down to kiss her cheek before he whispered in her ear.

"Amy." She stirred but didn't wake up and Ricky smirked at his adorable girlfriend. "Amy," he whispered a little louder. Amy's eyes slowly opened and she saw right away that Ricky wasn't in bed anymore. "Hey," he said from behind her. Amy rolled over and gave him a sleepy smile.

"Hey," she whispered back.

"Power's back on." Amy nodded and gently extracted her arms from around John while Ricky grabbed his clothes from the night before and quickly put them on. She put her clothes back on as well and then headed to the living room, Amy leaving the door open so she could hear John better. Ricky turned on the TV and turned the volume down as Amy sat on the couch. He turned it to the news channel and Amy snuggled closer to him. Ricky put his arm around her as the news anchor spoke.

"So repairs have been going on throughout the night and a city works representative has informed us that eighty-five percent of the areas that lost power last night now have that power restored, and barring any technical problems the remaining areas currently without power should have their services restored by late afternoon. As to the extent of the damage to the city estimates are still being gathered. However, several schools have cancelled classes today to ensure there wasn't any structural damage to their buildings before allowing students to reenter them. The following schools are closed today." The anchor vanished and a screen listing names of schools replaced him. Amy and Ricky sighed with relief when they saw Grant High show up on the list. Ricky turned to look at Amy.

"Let's see if we've got service again," he said as he pulled out his cellphone and turned it on. He smirked when his phone immediately began buzzing, showing he had twelve missed calls and 8 new voice messages. As he began to listen to his messages Amy was quickly scrolling through her own list of missed calls and texts. After skimming through her text messages she dialed her parents. She knew it was early but she wanted them to know they were alright. Her dad's phone went straight to voicemail so she left a message. The same happened when she attempted to call her mom and Ashley so she also left them a short message before sending off texts to Madison, Lauren and Grace to let them know she, John and Ricky were okay. Ricky sent a mass text to his parents and Grace to let them know he, Amy and John were fine as Amy called the nursery to tell them she and John wouldn't be in today. She had the time to take off and all she wanted to do that day was spend it with Ricky and her family. "We might as well start picking up a little before John gets up," Ricky whispered. Amy nodded and they got to work picking up as quietly as they could. They managed to restore order to the living room and get the kitchen floor thoroughly swept before John woke up.

"Mommy!?" he called out in a panicky voice. Amy rushed to her son, knowing he was still frightened after what happened last night. John scrambled to get himself out from under the covers when Amy's face became visible in the doorway. She helped him get out of the covers as she sat down on the bed. She held out her arms and John practically threw himself into them. Amy hugged him tightly and kissed his forehead.

"It's okay, John, mommy's here. You're safe," she reassured him. John pulled back slightly so he could look at her.

"Where daddy?" he asked, uncertainty in his eyes. Amy stood up and carried him into the living room, knowing John needed to see his father at that moment to know that everything in his little world was okay. Once his eyes landed on his father John rested his head on Amy's shoulder and Amy felt him relax.

"See, John? Daddy's okay too." Amy turned on the spot and headed back to the bedroom. "Let's get you dressed so we can eat breakfast, okay?" She didn't wait for an answer as she got clean clothes for John out of the dresser drawer Ricky kept John's extra clothes in. Amy carried John into the bathroom to let him potty and change his pull-ups. One John was all finished and Amy had helped him wash his hands, he held up his arms, wanting his mommy to hold him still. Amy picked him up and carried him into the living room. She set him down near his toy bin and then stood up, taking a step towards Ricky to help with breakfast, but John tugged on her pant leg and whimpered. Amy looked down and found herself looking into her son's worried eyes. Even though the ground wasn't shaking at the moment, John wanted his mommy close to him. Amy gave him a reassuring smile and lowered herself to the rug to play with him for a while.

Ricky had looked up from his task of mopping the floor when he heard John whimper. Once again he was struck by how different Amy was from his mother. There had been times when he was little and scared or hurting that he'd whimpered, wanting someone to make the pain go away, and no one had been there. But thankfully he knew that if his son was scared, and Amy could get to him, she'd comfort and protect him, just like she'd done for John last night. The twinge of hurt he felt as he remembered his childhood with an absentee mother quickly passed, to be replaced by admiration and love for Amy as he watched her mothering their son. She wasn't doing anything spectacular. She was simply sitting on the floor near John while he played, silently watching over him and providing him the comfort he needed just be being close to him. Ricky finished mopping the floor and took out a clean dish towel. He knelt down and used the towel to dry the floor, not wanting John or Amy to slip on the slick surface and also wanting to make sure he wiped up any tiny shards the broom or mop may have left behind.

At the Juergens house George woke up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He noticed that his bedroom seemed brighter than it should considering how early it was and then the memories of last night returned to him. His bedroom was bright because the lamps and light were on, and they were on because the power had gone out last night and he hadn't bothered to flip the switches. He quickly reached for his phone on his nightstand and turned it on. He bolted upright when he saw a missed call from Amy, causing Anne to stir slightly but not waken. George quickly listened to his voicemail and sighed as the sweet sound of his little girl's voice flooded his ear, along with the news that she, John and Ricky were perfectly fine. She also told him the news said Grant High was closed today and that she and John would be home as soon as they could after they ate breakfast. George set his phone on the nightstand and turned to look at his bed. Robbie had been so upset last night that he'd ended up sleeping in bed with him and Anne. He smiled as he watched the woman he loved and their son sleeping soundly. George quietly got up and headed to Amy's room to check on Ashley. He had insisted that since Amy was obviously staying at Ricky's that night that Ashley should sleep in Amy's room, just in case there were aftershocks or something. This way she would be closer to him than if she were in her room in the garage again. George quietly opened the door to check on his sleeping teenager. He smiled when he found that she was still fast asleep and then quietly shut the door and headed downstairs to let Moose out. _Maybe we should buy a bigger house_ he mused with a yawn as he entered the kitchen. _Then we'd all be in the house together if this ever happens again._ Hearing movement on the stairs, Moose met George in the kitchen, his tail wagging happily.

"Come on, boy," George said with a smile as he opened the door leading to the backyard. Moose headed out and George waited while Moose relieved himself. He grabbed a plastic baggie from the holder they kept near the back door, which was high enough that John and Robbie couldn't reach it, and picked up after Moose. He tied off the bag and tossed it in the trashcan before heading back inside, Moose right beside him. George washed his hands and then refilled Moose's water and food bowls before heading back upstairs to his bedroom. He picked up his phone as he sat down on the bed and sent a short text off to Donovan: _Shop's closed today. Will check it and open tomorrow._ George set his phone down and got back under the covers. He knew his family was okay so he decided to get a little more shut eye.

Like George, Leo decided to keep the butcher shop closed until he could assess it to see if anything had been severely damaged. He'd gotten up early and called his on-staff engineer and plumber and asked them to meet him at the butcher shop so they could check for any damage. They were waiting out front when Leo arrived.

"Morning, Carl. Tim," he greeted them each with a nod. He put the key in the front door and unlocked it. "Let's see what we've got." Leo opened the door and it pushed aside several boxes of pasta that had fallen off their shelves. The display shelves had all fallen over, spilling their contents; the display glass of the main register had cracks in it from where a display shelf had fallen into it; most of the merchandise was on the floor; parts of the floor were covered in sauce, from sauce jars that had fallen to the floor and shattered or broken; various pieces of meat slicing and other equipment had fallen off their counters; and the temperature displays on two of the coolers were flashing. _What a mess_ he thought as he stepped around the mess to head towards the coolers. "I'll let you gentlemen inspect things while I check the storeroom." Carl and Tim set to work double checking the mechanics and plumbing of the coolers and the rest of the shop while Leo headed to the store room. Like the main shop, boxes of merchandise had tumbled from their shelves and there were various puddles of sauces where glass jars had been involved. Leo sighed as he headed to the office to drop off his jacket. He returned to the store room and began rolling up his sleeves to get to work cleaning up. I'm gonna be on the phone all day today replacing our stock. Be smiled to himself as he put a large box that was laying on its side right side up, one corner stained with red from the spilled marinara sauce inside the broken jars it now contained. _At least it's just food and no one was hurt._ Suddenly Leo's smile vanished as he remembered Ricky. Leo left the box where it was and headed upstairs to check on his tenant. Leo knew it was a little early, being almost 7am, but he was worried and hoped Ricky would overlook this intrusion on his sleep as Leo knocked on the door. He heard sounds of someone coming towards the door and sighed with relief. _Well at least he's not hurt if he's moving about._ Ricky opened the door and was surprised to see Leo standing there, a look of relief on his boss's face.

"Hi, Mr. Boykewich." Ricky stepped aside and held the door open so Leo could come in. The sound of silverware hitting a plate drew Leo's attention and he smiled when he saw Amy and John eating breakfast.

"Good morning, Mr. Boykewich," she greeted him with a small smile.

"Good morning, Amy." He turned back to look at Ricky. "And to you, Ricky. I was just in the shop checking the damage and wanted to make sure you were alright." Ricky nodded as he shut the door.

"We're fine," he assured Leo. "But the quake shook the shelves pretty good and opened a couple of the kitchen cabinets so some of your dishes and things broke tough," Ricky informed him, looking a little uncertain about how he was gonna replace what had been broken. Leo saw his expression and knew what he was thinking. Leo gave him a small smile to ease his fears.

"Don't worry about it, Ricky; it was an accident. Besides, anything of real value that was up here we took with us years ago when we moved out. I'm just glad you guys are alright."

"Thanks, Leo."

"You're welcome."

"So is the shop pretty bad?" Ricky asked curiously.

"I don't know yet. I've got a couple of guys double checking all the systems but at first glance it looks like there's just a lot of spilled merchandise. It may take a couple of days to get new stock delivered but I'll let you know." Leo turned to look at Amy. "You three have a good day."

"You too, Mr. Boykewich," Amy said before turning to look at John. "Say bye, John." John turned to look at Leo and waved. Leo chuckled sadly and waved back. He nodded to Ricky and then headed back downstairs. _They're a regular little family_ he thought sadly as he reached the bottom of the stairs. He thought about Mercy as he returned to the store room to continue cleaning up as he waited for Carl and Tim to finish their assessment. _While I may never walk into Ben's home and see him eating breakfast with Adrian and Mercy, I'm happy that John's okay, that Amy and Ricky didn't lose him in the quake._

Ricky shut the door behind Leo and then rejoined Amy and John at the table to finish his breakfast. Once their meal was finished they put the dirty dishes in the sink and got ready to go. Amy walked down the stairs holding John's hand and Ricky followed behind them. When they reached Amy's car he waited for her to buckle John in and slide the door shut. When she turned to face him he leaned in and kissed her.

"Call me when you get home," he asked/stated. Amy nodded in agreement as she flipped her hair over her shoulder. "I'll call you after I've checked in with my parents.

"Okay," she told him with a smile. Ricky watched as Amy got into the driver's seat and buckled up. He stayed where he was until she drove away and then got into his own car and drove to his parents' house. When Ricky arrived, he was enveloped in a tight hug moments after walking in the back door. Ricky hugged his mother back and waited for her to break the embrace.

"Thank heavens you're alright," Margaret said before releasing him so she could visually inspect his person for any damage. Ricky smirked as he watched his mom give him a once over but remained silent. "Are Amy and John okay too?" she asked, knowing they had their weekly dinner last night. Ricky nodded.

"They're both fine."

"Did you lose power last night? I know you lost cell service because my calls went straight to voicemail." Again Ricky nodded.

"Yeah, on both counts. I turned my phone off to save power, only turning it on every hour or so to see if I'd gotten service back," he explained. Margaret nodded her satisfaction that the three of them were okay.

"I heard school's closed today," Margaret said as she headed towards the stove to prepare herself a cup of tea. "What do you plan to do today?" Ricky sat down at the kitchen table with a shrug.

"Not sure. Leo stopped by this morning to see if I was okay and told me the shop wouldn't open 'til he could check the extent of the damage so I don't know. I'll probably go hang out with Amy and John for a bit then who knows."

Anne was wondering about her plans for the day as well. When she'd woken up George wasn't in bed and she could smell coffee brewing downstairs. When she'd joined him, clad in her bathrobe, he told her about Amy's voicemail, that school was closed today, and that he planned to check to see if the store had any damage before opening for business.

"So if everything's okay are we gonna open for business today?" she asked before taking a sip from her mug of coffee. George shrugged.

"Don't know yet. If there's any major damage we'll need to take care of it before we do. If not, I figure we just spend the day cleaning up the house and just hanging around here with the kids and John." He shrugged again. "We can afford to take the day off." Before Anne could say anything to agree with him, the kitchen door opened and Amy walked in carrying John. Anne set her mug on the counter and quickly walked over to Amy to hug her tightly.

"Thank goodness you guys are alright," Anne said with relief. Amy hugged her mother back as best she could with her son in her arms.

"We're fine," Amy said, pulling out of her mother's embrace. "John was a little shaken up last night but finally he was able to get some sleep," Amy explained, glancing over at her son, who had his head resting on her shoulder.

"Robbie had a hard time too," George told her, stepping forward to hug her as well. "But we're all okay so that's all that matters." He kissed Amy's temple and then released her. "So what are your plans today since school's closed?" he asked, picking up his mug and taking another sip of his coffee. Amy walked towards the kitchen table and set John's bag and her purse on it.

"I'm just gonna spend the day with John here at home," she replied, pulling out one of the chairs and sitting down. "I left a voicemail at the nursery that John and I wouldn't be in today. He's still a little clingy after last night so I'm just gonna spend some quality time with him." Amy dug out her phone to text Ricky as Ashley came into the kitchen, looking rather sleepy. She woke up rather quickly when she saw Amy and John.

"Hey," she greeted her sister before turning concerned eyes to her uncharacteristically quiet nephew. "You two alright?" Amy nodded.

"Yeah. John's just still a little shaken up about last night but other than that we're okay." Ashley nodded and then headed towards the pantry to get out the box of pop tarts. "Can we skip school today?" she asked her parents as she opened a pop tarts package and placed them in the toaster.

"School's closed today," Anne informed her. Ashley smiled.

"Sweet! Then I'm going back to bed after I eat," she declared happily. Amy's phone vibrated in her hands and she looked down to see the nursery on her caller ID.

"Hello?" she said when she answered.

"Hi, Amy, this is Sam." Amy was slightly concerned that her boss was calling her. Usually Diane or one of her supervisors called her.

"Hi, Sam."

"I just wanted to let you know that we got your voicemail and not to worry; we weren't going to open today so we could get the place cleaned up. Even though we should be done by the middle of the afternoon, Reverend Stone agreed it doesn't make sense to open the doors for only a couple of hours." Amy relaxed at this news. "So we'll see you two tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay. Thanks for calling me, Sam."

"No problem," Sam said with a chuckle. "Bye now."

"Bye." Amy ended the call and smiled.

"Good news I take it?" George asked. Amy nodded.

"That was my boss. She said the nursery's closed today so they can clean up the mess the quake caused so I didn't need to come in anyway." Anne looked at George thoughtfully.

"Well since you girls have the day off, we'll need you two to take care of Robbie for a bit while we go to the store and check the damage." Amy and Ashley nodded to let her know they'd heard her and Anne headed upstairs to wake Robbie up and get him fed before she and George headed out. Ashley put her toasted pop tarts on a plate and joined her sister at the table.

"So what were you guys doing when it hit?" she asked Amy conversationally.

"Putting away the last of the dishes from our dinner. John was playing on the rug in the living room. What about you guys?"

"I was in my room headed towards the kitchen for a drink. I don't know what mom, dad and Robbie were doing."

"Did you guys lose power?" Ashley nodded.

"You?" Amy nodded.

"It freaked the little guy out a little," Amy said with a sad smile as she glanced down at her son and remembered his scared reaction from last night. John snuggled into Amy a little more and kept his head nestled on her shoulder, his arms around her neck. Amy rubbed his back and gently rocked him back and forth. "How'd Moose take it?" she asked curiously. Ashley shrugged as she took a bite of one of her pop tarts.

"Alright I guess. He came to greet me when I shuffled into the kitchen after the quake stopped and once dad gave me a flashlight to see with I saw he wasn't hurt so my guess is he found a safe spot to wait it out."

As the sisters discussed their experiences during the quake, the Bowmans were busy cleaning up their house, beginning downstairs with everyone pitching in to make the rooms presentable once more. Tom and Grace were busy putting things back on their shelves and tables in the living room when Grace's phone vibrated in her pocket. She pulled it out and smiled when she saw that Grant was calling her.

"Hi, Grant. We're all okay here. What about you guys?" she asked, jumping right in to answer the question she knew he was about to ask her and asking what she really wanted to know at that moment.

"We're fine. Did you guys lose power or cell service last night? I would've called sooner but we lost service and I only woke up a little while ago."

"We didn't lose power or service, but the lights flickered for a bit."

"Did you hear school's closed today?"

"Uh huh. And it's a good thing too. We've got a lot of cleaning up to do. The quake pretty much shook loose anything that wasn't nailed down or tightly wedged together," she told him, glancing around at the various items and pieces of furniture that had transformed their living room into a maze.

"Yeah. Our house was shaken pretty good too. I just wanted to make sure you were okay." Grace heard Grant's mother call him in the background. "I gotta go, Grace. I'll talk to you later."

"Okay. Bye, Grant, and thanks for calling." She ended the call and got back to work. _Thank you, Lord, that I now know one more person I care about made it through the quake okay._

Ricky, meanwhile, stopped by Nora's apartment and they had breakfast together, Ricky not eating much as he'd already had breakfast. She was thankful that he, John and Amy were alright and floating on air that her son had taken the time to come check on her. Granted she planned to call him when she woke up that morning, provided she had cell service again, to check on him, but it was touching that Ricky had bothered to drive over to her place and **physically** check on her. When she finished eating she walked him to the parking lot and watched him drive away, giving him a little wave as he backed out of his parking spot. Nora sighed happily as she headed back inside and up to her apartment. _God, if you're out there, thank you for keeping them safe. And for turning my son into a kind human being despite me and Bob._

Across town Adrian was slowly waking up, having not been able to fall asleep until late last night. Her dad had finally come home a little after midnight and she'd panicked a little when she heard noises downstairs since the power was still off. She'd crept downstairs slowly, holding her cellphone out and using its light to help her avoid objects strewn across the floor. When she saw that the person making all the noise was her father she rushed towards him, as quickly a she could considering the items all over the floor, and hugged him. He hugged her back tightly and kissed her temple. They sat on the couch and he told her that a support pillar of the parking garage attached to his office had shaken loose and blocked the exit. He and quite a few others had to wait for city workers to stabilize the parking structure and then get a crane so they could lift the pillar out of the way. He made sure Adrian was physically alright and then the two of them made their way upstairs to get some sleep. Adrian stretched but remained in bed for a moment this morning, her mind going over the events of last night. She had felt so alone and scared when the quake hit and so relieved when her father had finally come back home. She also recalled that she knew she wasn't ready to die yet. She tried to figure out what to do with that newfound realization as she got out of bed and shuffled towards her closet to grab her robe. She made her way towards the bathroom and stopped when she noticed the mess in Mercy's nursery.

Adrian pushed open the door and looked at all the items strewn about haphazardly. Adrian lifted the overturned rocking chair and set it upright so she could sit in it. Adrian glanced around her daughter's formerly pristine nursery and felt a wave of sadness wash over her. _Mami doesn't know how to move forward baby girl. Everyone keeps saying I gotta take life one day at a time and try and find a way to honor your memory with my life_ she silently spoke to her daughter as she looked around the room slowly. _Mami's not strong enough to face people yet but I'm gonna get there. I promise._ Adrian smiled and her eyes became a little misty as they landed on a stuffed giraffe her dad had bought for Mercy. _I miss you so much baby girl it's just that I'm not ready to join you yet_ Adrian told her daughter's spirit as she looked up at the ceiling. _I'll find a way to honor you sweetie. I just need a little more time. _

All over town business owners and homeowners alike were busy cleaning up from the quake and making their spaces presentable once more. The furniture store only had a cracked window where a bed on display had knocked into it and George and Anne only had to spend a couple of hours readjusting the furniture that had shifted in the display area before returning home, George making a call to his window repair service before they left the store. Leo called in a cleaning service once Carl an Tim informed him that all systems were go and then he called his employees to let them know they had the day off. He spent the rest of the day at home with Ben and Betty, simply hanging out and watching movies and having a good laugh, something he and Ben hadn't done in far too long. The Bowmans finished cleaning their house and spent the day playing board games as a family, spending time together and forging memories with Kathleen's mom at the same time. The Coopersteins and Treacys likewise cleaned up their homes and spent the day just watching TV together as a family. After Griffin had called Ashley to make sure her family was okay, she invited him over to just hang for the day and his parents had given him permission to do so. Griffin and Ashley spent the day alternating between hanging out in her room and talking and channel surfing in the living room. Anne and George spent the remainder of the morning playing with Robbie and checking on their girls every so often, needing to physically see their girls even though they knew they were both just fine. Ricky also came over and spent the morning hanging out with John and Amy. During the boys' naptime Ricky and Amy joined Ashley and Griffin to watch TV in the living room while Anne and George sat on the swing on their back porch, just enjoying some quiet time together.

"I love you. Do you know that?" George asked Anne after they'd been sitting and swinging silently for a while. Anne smiled and nodded before she turned her head to look at George.

"I love you too, George." They shared a brief kiss and then George looked at her with gratefulness in his eyes.

"Thank you." Anne looked at him curiously.

"For what?"

"Marrying me in the first place, giving me two beautiful girls and a son, forgiving me for being a selfish jerk, giving us a second chance." Anne smiled back at him.

"You're welcome," she said simply, placing her head against his chest and wrapping an arm around his waist.

"I wanna try again, Anne," George told her as he put his arm around her. She knew what he was referring to: he wanted them to get remarried. Anne smiled a little bigger.

"We will." She chuckled when she felt George stiffen.

"Yeah?" he asked eagerly. Anne nodded.

"I'm getting there, George," she stated softly. George let the matter drop as he smiled. He looked up at the clear blue sky and smiled. _Whoever's running things up there, thank you for second chances._


	33. Cupid Comes To Town

Adrian entered her bedroom after taking a shower, still clad in a bath towel. She shut her door and proceeded to drop the towel near the door and head towards her dresser. She passed the mirror in her room and noticed her profile. She turned and faced her mirror head on and stood there for several minutes examining her body. She sighed as she acknowledged that she was still carrying some of her pregnancy fat in places she'd rather not have it and she began to reminisce about how hot she used to be before she'd gotten pregnant. _No guy's gonna want me again looking like this_ she thought sadly as she proceeded to get dressed for bed. _Tomorrow I'm gonna do something about it._

The nest morning Amy walked into school and headed towards her locker, smiling when she noticed the booster club's Valentine's Day booth. The club had been selling candy grams, flowers and small stuffed animals holding plush flowers with different phrases stitched onto their stomachs for the past two weeks. Amy had already bought a little stuffed bear for Ricky; it was simply too cute to pass up. She opened her locker as Ben and Henry entered the hallway from the other end.

"So I got her one of the little stuffed bears," Henry said as they stopped at their lockers and began spinning their combination locks. "I mean, we both know Alice isn't one of those girly girls but she'll appreciate the thought, right?" Henry asked nervously as he opened his locker. Ben shrugged.

"Who knows," he replied, opening his own locker. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm not the best person to be getting advice about women from."

"And why do you need advice about women?" Alice asked with a slight edge to her voice. Henry stiffened and turned around to come face-to-face with his girlfriend, who was looking at his suspiciously. He put on his most innocent smile.

"I don't." Alice's expression didn't change and Henry started to feel nervous under her piercing gaze. "Okay, okay. So I got you something for Valentine's Day," he admitted. Alice gave him a slight scowl.

"You know as well as I do that Valentine's Day has become nothing more than another excuse for corporations to fatten their wallets by preying on people's emotions. You should be telling and showing me **every** day that you care about me," she began to lecture him.

"But I wanted to get you something," Henry said with a small pout as he attempted to defend himself. "'Cuz, you know, you're my girlfriend and I wanted you to have a present from me today." Alice gave him a small smile as his words registered. She grabbed the front of his t-shirt and pulled him towards her so she could kiss him.

"That's sweet," she said with a smile, however, it quickly vanished as she narrowed her eyes at him as she simultaneously released his shirt and poked him in the chest. "So long as it's not such generic Hallmark card that basically means nothing." Henry quickly shook his head to let her know that it wasn't and Ben found himself trying not to smile at his best friends' antics. Back at Amy's locker Ricky snuck up behind her with a grin on his face. When he was standing right behind her he leaned in and whispered in her ear.

"Boo." Amy flinched and whirled around to see who had snuck up on her and gave her boyfriend an annoyed glare, which only made him chuckle. "Hey, at least that time I **intended** to startle you." Amy gave him a small smile as she let out a huff of air through her nostrils. She shut her locker and then reached in her bag to pull out a card. She handed it to him and he smiled, reaching into his notebook to pull out a card for her. Amy's smile turned into a grin as she eagerly accepted the card and read it. Ricky opened his card and smirked as he read it quickly. He looked up and saw Amy smiling as she read her own card. When she finished she threw her arms around him neck and kissed him soundly.

"That's the sweetest thing anyone's ever written me," she informed him with a smile. Ricky smiled back and put his arms around her.

"Glad you like it."

While love was in the air at Grant High, Adrian was leaving her house to go for a walk. After her father left for the morning, Adrian had donned a pair of sweats, grabbed her keys and iPod and headed outside, intent on walking around the neighborhood. She wasn't ready to go anywhere more public, like the park, where she might run into anyone she knew from school, or their parents. She walked around the neighborhood three times before she started to feel a little thirsty. She made her way back home and got herself a glass of water to quench her thirst. She smiled to herself as she made her way upstairs to shower. _I didn't work up a heavy sweat but one step at a time, right Mercy?_ Back at Grant High Madison and Justin were talking at her locker, Madison currently pouting while Justin gave her a smug look.

"Oh come on, Justin," Madison pleaded. "Just one little hint?" Justin shook his head.

"I told you it's a surprise. I only told you you were gonna get something so you wouldn't like ditch class that period or something." Madison scoffed.

"I don't ditch class."

"Ok, take a bathroom break then." Madison rolled her eyes at her boyfriend as the warning bell sounded.

Madison had a hard time focusing in her French class as she tried to guess what Justin had bought for her from the booster club. About halfway through class she smiled as she realized something: this would be her first Valentine's Day with a boyfriend. That thought alone got Madison through her first class. Ben sat through his Chemistry class equally distracted, but for different reasons. He glanced around and saw cards sticking out of some of his classmates' binders and some students were sneaking pieces of candy when their teacher wasn't looking. Ben was suddenly painfully reminded that he was currently single; he didn't have a valentine this year. There was no one special in his life for him to give a card or gift to remind them that he cared. Suddenly a realization hit him and he would've slapped himself except he remembered he was in the middle of class and that might look a little weird. Adrian. She may not be his valentine per say but today was about reminding the people you cared about that you did in fact care about them, right? Besides, no one wants to be alone on Valentine's Day so maybe the two single friends could not be lonely together, strictly platonically of course. When the bell rang Ben quickly gathered his things and headed to the booster club's booth to buy a couple of candy grams for Adrian. He told the girl sitting at the booth that he'd deliver them himself and quickly stashed them in his locker with a small grin. _Maybe this'll be just the thing to cheer her up._ Ben had been trying for the past couple of months to cheer Adrian up, even just a little, but nothing he'd said or done had worked. Every time he left he could still see sadness in Adrian's eyes. It was clear to him that she still wasn't ready to even **begin** to try and take a step forward but that didn't stop Ben from wanting to help her any way he could.

Finally the period before lunch arrived and the valentine's gifts began to be delivered by booster club members. Madison looked up eagerly when she heard someone knock on the door of her choir class and tried to contain her excitement. A booster club member walked in carrying a little basket and looked down at his list.

"Kimberly Bennet?" he called out. Kimberly raised her hand and the boy walked over to her, handing her two candy gram flowers. Kimberly began reading the attached card with a smile as the club member looked back down at his little list. "Mark Clifton?" Mark raised his hand curiously and the club member handed him a little stuffed dog with the words 'For My Gruff and Tough Valentine' stitched onto its stomach. Mark smirked as the club member glanced at his list once more. "Madison Cooperstein?" Madison's hand shot into the air before he finished reading her name. He walked over to her and handed her six candy gram flowers, a little stuffed kitten with the words 'For My Sweet Little Kitten' stitched on its stomach in pink inside a red heart, and a Valentine's Day card. Madison beamed as she read her card:

Maddie,

The past six months have been a wonderful adventure. I'm glad I decided to work the food court that summer.

Your guy,

Justin

_I'm gonna kiss that boy so hard at lunch_ Madison thought with a smile as she quickly put her gifts in her bag so she wouldn't forget them after class. Alice was in her advanced art class when a girl from the booster club knocked on the classroom door and the teacher let her in, the staff already informed of what the booster club was doing. The girl looked at her list and called out a name.

"Stephanie Fitzpatrick?" Stephanie raised her hand, a smile on her face. The club member placed two candy gram flowers next to her and then glanced back down at her list. "Michael Lincoln?" Michael raised his hand uncertainly. The girl headed over to his workstation and placed a little stuffed dog next to him. Michael picked it up and read its stomach as the girl looked at her list. "Alice Valko?" Alice raised her hand and the girl come over to her workstation. She set a little stuffed bear and a Valentine's Day card next to Alice, giving her a small smile before she headed towards the door to leave the room. Alice picked up the card and smiled as she began to read it:

Alice,

I know you're not into Valentine's Day and all so please don't be mad that I got you something but I wanted to get my girl a present today to show her and everyone else I care. And I know you don't like being called my girl and all but you are, my girl I mean. I know you know I care, I just wanted to remind you of that today since I don't always say it. So, happy Valentine's Day!

Your guy,

Hank

Alice laughed when she finished reading the card. It was just so….Henry: sweet, endearing and ineloquent. And yet, it was perfect. Lauren and Amy were in the middle of the trigonometry class when two members from the booster club knocked on their classroom door. The boy looked at their list and called out a name.

"Gail Abernathy?" Gail eagerly waved her hand in the air and the boy headed towards her. He placed a little stuffed kitten on her desk and Gail squealed happily at how cute it was. "Kyle Deiter?" Kyle raised his hand briefly and he booster club guy walked over to him, placing two candy grams and a Valentine's Day card on Kyle's desk. He looked back at his list as Kyle read his card. "Amy Juergens?" Amy raised her hand and the girl walked over to Amy, placing the entire basket she was carrying on Amy's desk, causing Amy to look at it in shock. _Who would get me all this for Valentine's Day? Ricky and I already exchanged cards._ She glanced over at Lauren and Lauren simply shrugged. "Lauren Treacy?" Lauren raised her hand for her own gifts as Amy glanced through her basket. She pulled out the Valentine's card in the front and quickly opened it to read it. She smiled when she realized the entire basket was from Ricky:

Angel,

I know this may seem like overkill but I don't. After everything we've been through and everything I've put you through, there aren't enough words in all the languages in all the world to tell you how much I appreciate, admire, respect, love and adore you. Everything I've gotten you today means something. There's one candy gram for every month you were pregnant to let you know how sweet it was of you to carry our son. There's one flower for every month we've been dating because you've made each one of them a little brighter and sweeter for me. There's also two stuffed animals because I do 'Love You Beary Much' and you are 'My Sweet Little Kitten'. Happy Valentine's Day, Angel.

Love,

Ricky

Amy began to tear up as she finished reading her card. _Sometimes I don't think I deserve that man._ She noticed Lauren glancing at her worriedly out of the corner of her eye. Amy gave her a reassuring smile and then tucked the card away in her binder for safe keeping.

Ricky was in French class when the knock came. A girl from the booster club entered the room and began calling out names of recipients, placing their gifts on their desks once they identified themselves. Ricky raised his hand with a curious expression on his face when his name was called. _Amy and I already exchanged cards._ The girl placed three Valentine's Day cards, a little stuffed bear, four candy grams and a small bundle of six roses on his desk. Ricky picked up the card that had Amy's handwriting on it and read it as the girl finished handing out her few remaining gifts.

Ricky,

I know we agreed not to go overboard today since we show how much we love each other every day. All I wanted to do today was remind you how much I love you and let you know that I feel blessed to have you in my life. I don't know what the future holds for us and I don't care. After everything we've been through, and everything I've put you through, know that I see the wonderful man you've become, appreciate what a wonderful father you are to our son, cherish our friendship, and 'I Love You Beary Much'. Happy Valentine's Day, Ricky.

Love,

Amy

Ricky smirked as he finished reading Amy's card. He looked at the other cards curiously. _Who else would send me a Valentine's card?_ He vaguely registered that his teacher was attempting to turn his students' attention back to the lesson at hand but Ricky was too curious. He noticed Amy's handwriting on the little card attached to the bundle of roses and took a closer look. The note read: _Because guys deserve flowers too. Love, Amy_. He glanced at the cards attached to his candy grams and only recognized Amy's handwriting on one of them. Amy's note read: _A sweet for my sweetie. Love, Amy. Okay so that answers who sent me the bear, roses, and one of these candy flowers. But who are the rest of them from?_ He quickly read the notes attached to his three other candy grams and had to hold in a groan. They were all from past hookups and each note basically said as much: _When you tire of sweet little Amy I've got something sweet for 'ya. Rachel_; _When you're done playing house I've got some sugar for 'ya. Zoe_; _Missin' your sugar. Sarah_. Figuring the other two Valentine's Day cards were also from past hookups, Ricky didn't bother to open them. When the bell rang signaling the start of lunch Ricky gathered his things and gifts from Amy and made his way to the door. He tossed the other two cards and three candy grams in the trash on his way out. A curious classmate saw Ricky do this and hung back so he could retrieve the items from the trash once everyone else had left. He purposefully dropped his books once he was near the trashcan so his teacher wouldn't get suspicious and then quickly reached in and snatched up the items as he exited the classroom.

Back at home Adrian was getting comfortable on the living room couch and getting ready to eat a large salad she'd prepared for her lunch. She wasn't gonna loose the extra weight is she didn't start eating better so this was part two of her 'Getting My Sexy Back' plan. She flipped on the TV and the first image she saw was an advertisement for a Valentine's Day special at a local restaurant. The forkful of salad Adrian was aiming towards her mouth froze in midair. _Is that today?_ Adrian set her fork back in her salad bowl and pulled her phone out of her pocket. Her eyebrows lifted slightly when she saw the date and time appear on her screen when she swiped her finger across it. _Huh. So it __**is**__ Valentine's Day._ She set her phone down and her mind began to wander. _You know I'm eighteen and I've never really celebrated Valentine's Day._ She shoved a forkful of lettuce and vegetables in her mouth and chewed thoughtfully. _Even when I was with Ricky he never took me anywhere or got me anything for Valentine's Day. The one time we did something specifically __**for**__ Valentine's Day we simply had sex. _She sighed and took another bite of her salad absentmindedly. _And since I was pregnant until a couple of months ago_, she paused to stop herself from crying at the thought of losing Mercy, _**naturally**__ I don't have a valentine this year_. She slouched into the couch dejectedly. _Once again I'm all alone on Valentine's Day._

Back at Grant High Madison spotted Justin sitting at their usual table and ran up to him. She plopped herself down in his lap and grabbed his face as she pulled him towards her for a kiss. Justin chuckled against her lips as he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her back. Lauren greeted her boyfriend in a similar fashion. She slid onto the bench next to him and grabbed his face to give him a kiss. They were both smiling when she pulled back.

"So I take it you liked your card and the little kitten?" Jesse asked. Lauren nodded before leaning in to kiss him again. Ricky smiled at the girls' reactions to their gifts. _Who knew romantic gestures turned all girls to mush_ he mused as he opened his lunch container and stirred up his lasagna to help it cool slightly. Ricky had his back towards the school so he didn't see Amy approaching him. When she reached the table she tapped him on the shoulder, causing him to spin around. Even though she was smiling she looked on the verge of tears. Ricky stood quickly in alarm and Amy wrapped her arms around his neck kissing him deeply. Ricky wrapped his arms around her and reciprocated. Their friends looked on for several minutes, Madison still sitting in Justin's lap only with her head now resting on his shoulder.

"Hey, get a room you two," Jesse said with a chuckle. Justin looked at him with a smirk.

"Now, now. Don't you think they should wait 'til John's completely outta diapers before they start on baby number two?" Ricky and Amy broke apart laughing. Amy leaned into Ricky as he turned them towards the table.

"Alright, point taken," he said good naturedly as he and Amy sat down, smiles on their faces. "So did you like your presents?" Amy nodded.

"The card most of all," she told him with a tender smile. "Did you like yours?" she asked as she opened her lunch bag. Ricky nodded but then his smile slipped a little. "What?"

"I got some things from a couple of past hookups but I threw them away," he explained sadly.

"Okay. Then why are you so down?" she asked, looking at him with concern.

"It just still annoys me when my past comes back to bite me, so to speak," he explained, taking a bite of his lasagna. Amy leaned over and kissed her cheek.

"I'm sorry," Ricky looked over at her with a smile.

"Don't be." He kissed her temple and everyone discussed what gifts they'd gotten and given each other.

At another table across the courtyard Grace and Alice were both smiling, having each received a card and stuffed kitten from their boyfriends. When Grant and Henry joined the girls at the table they each got a kiss for their trouble. Grant smiled while Henry breathed a sigh of relief.

"So you're still okay with me getting you that?" he asked nervously. Alice looked at him tenderly.

"Yes, Hank. And you should really stop worrying about my reaction to romantic gestures. I may be more worldly wise than sixty-three percent of teenage girls my age and have several very strongly held feminist views but that doesn't mean romance is off the table with me," she assured him. Henry smiled at her before turning his attention to his lunch sack and the food it contained. Alice may be hard to read sometimes but it was nice to know that he could still occasionally wear the pants in the relationship, when she let him. Ben joined his friends at the table and took a seat.

"Hey, Ben," Grant greeted him.

"Hey."

"Sooooooooooooo, what's new?" Grant said uncomfortably. Ben looked at him and saw from his posture how uncomfortable Grant was.

"You don't have to be so uptight you know," Ben said with a chuckle. "Yes, I experienced a tragedy. Yes, it's gonna take time before I learn how to live with the loss of Mercy. No, I'm not doing good, exactly. But that doesn't mean you have to walk on eggshells around me," he assured his friends, looking around the table at all of them as he spoke. "Honestly I've been talking to a family grief counselor and it's been helping. Slowly, but it's been helping." He gave them all a rueful smile. "I may not be one-hundred percent back to my old self but I promise I'm not about to have a total meltdown if you bring up life or babies." Suddenly it felt like a dark cloud had been lifted from the table and everyone felt they could breathe a little easier. "In fact, the more normal you all act around me the more normal I'll begin to feel."

"Well in that case," Henry said with a smile. "Can we come over this weekend and watch the Underworld trilogy in your den?" he asked eagerly. "The first movie starts at three and with that huge TV and awesome surround system in your den it'd be **epic** if we watched it in there." Henry looked at Ben expectantly and Ben couldn't help but laugh at his friend's exuberance. _This is what I've needed; my friends and some normal teenage fun._

"Sure." Henry thrust a fist triumphantly in the air and whooped.

"Yessssss." Alice shook her head at her boyfriend and turned her focus to her lunch. In a much quieter area of the courtyard three boys were huddled together with several Valentine's Day items between them.

"So where'd you get these?" one boy asked.

"I told you, Greg. Underwood tossed 'em in the trash." Greg shifted away from the small staff.

"Gross!"

"Oh don't be a baby. Aren't you curious about what they say? I mean, this is **Underwood** we're talking about. The guy had girls **throwing** themselves at him. For all we know we could pick up some pointers by reading the cards."

"Really, Leon?" the third boy said, his tone bored. "You really think we're gonna learn any pickup lines or moves from a couple of Valentine's cards?" Leon shrugged.

"Maybe, maybe not. Still. You guys read the cards on the candy gram flowers. Even though he's off the market they still want him so he must've done **something** right with the ladies." Greg and the other boy looked at each other curiously; maybe Leon had a point.

"Well open them already!" Greg said impatiently. Leon opened the first card and the boys huddled closer to read it together.

Ricky,

So far it seems like you've been faithful to Amy but we all know looks can be deceiving. We both know you've got an appetite and I'm willing to feed you, girlfriend or not. You've got my number and I'll be here when you tire of your little princess.

Lustfully yours,

Kim

"So now we know Kim likes a guy with a high libido. How exactly does that help us?" Leon rolled his eyes.

"Really, Ian, do I have to spell it out for you!?" Ian rolled his eyes.

"Oh enlighten me Obi-wan," he said sarcastically.

"It's no secret Ricky used to sleep around, right?" Ian nodded. "Which is how he got his love 'em and leave 'em rep, right?" Again Ian nodded, rolling his eyes again. "But he's obviously good in the sack or she wouldn't be offering herself as a booty call. So if we were good in the sack then we could get girls to throw themselves at us without us having to commit to them." He pointed to Kim's phrase 'girlfriend or not' to hammer home his point.

"Oh just open the second one already," Greg said impatiently. Greg did so and the boys huddled together once more.

Ricky,

I think you're beautiful and charming and I'd love to be your girlfriend. I know you're dating Amy and she's the mother of your son and we've only hooked up once, but it was really something special to me. I don't know what Amy's got that I don't but I'm willing to be an even more amazing girlfriend than her if you'd just consider going out with me.

Your biggest fan,

Sasha

The boys blinked and had to re-read the card to make sure they read it right. They looked at each other with confusion for a moment before Ian started laughing.

"What?" Greg asked.

"So much for Leon's brilliant plan," he said with a smile, turning his gaze towards Leon. "Apparently you've gotta be charming to win over the ladies and you're about as charming as moldy cheese," he explained, dissolving into laughter again as Greg began to chuckle. Leo glared at his two friends.

"Hardy har har," he said dryly.

"Oh come on, Leon," Greg said, trying to stop smiling. "You know as well as we do that subtlety is **not** your forte." He managed to stifle a snort as he glanced at her friend's murderous face. Ian clapped him on the back.

"Time for plan B bud," he said before laughing some more. Leon shrugged him off and tossed the cards in the trash before stalking away. "And buying enough beauty products to make you beautiful wouldn't hurt either!" he called out to his retreating friend with a smile, causing some students to stop and stare at him in alarm and then look to see whom he was calling out to, as Greg fell over holding his stomach in a laughing fit.

By the end of lunch quite a few 'Ricky fans' were positively livid. Being a building filled with gossiping teenagers with smart and camera phones, word of Amy's 'love basket' had spread quite quickly as well as the story of how Ricky Underwood had thrown away some of his Valentine's gifts without even looking at them. Once again several of his past hookups were incensed that Amy Juergens had corralled Ricky Underwood, the same Ricky Underwood who had charmed and used them, had never bothered to get them a gift, let alone a small basket filled with them. Other girls who had simply daydreamed or fantasized about him once again wondered what kind of magic that Juergens girl possessed that made Ricky Underwood, resident bad boy of Grant High, wanna make such a public romantic gesture.

The rest of the school day passed by uneventfully, if you don't count a few angry glares sent Amy's way that she either ignored or didn't see. Ricky and Ben headed to work, both thinking about the very special woman in their life, although for different reasons. Ricky was still smiling over Amy's card and gifts. He'd never received flowers from a girl before and oddly enough, he found it flattering. Nora noticed Ricky's smile and chuckled as she passed him. Ricky looked around for the source of the noise and spotted his mother smiling.

"What?" he asked her curiously.

"I take it you've had a good day with Amy so far?" Ricky smiled even bigger and nodded.

"Ah young love," she said wistfully. Nora continued with her task and passed Ben as well. She placed her cut of ham on the slicer and then washed her hands to put on gloves and slice it. _Wonder what's with him today._ She put that thought on hold to focus on the task at hand and began slicing the ham, laying pieces on the awaiting scale to let her know when she'd cut the correct amount. Once she had, she cut off the slicer and wrapped the sliced ham. She washed her hands and carried the cut meat to the waiting customer at the counter with a smile. "They you go, Mrs. Dods." Mrs. Dods smiled.

"Thank you, Nora," the woman said. She placed her purchase in her canvas bag and gave a little wave as she turned to leave the butcher shop. _What a nice old lady_ Nora thought with a small smile as she returned the ham chunk to the cooler. Nora noticed Ben's thoughtful expression as he absentmindedly wiped the counter in front of them and decided to ask him about it.

"You okay, Ben? You seem a little lost in thought over there," she said casually. Ben blinked and looked at her.

"Yeah. Just thinking," he told her, returning to his task of wiping down the counter. Ben rinsed out his rag in the nearby sink and then rung out the excess water before dropping it in its little bucket of cleaning solution. He approached Nora nervously and looked around for Bunny. Not finding her, he lowered his voice. "Can I ask you something?" Nora looked at him curiously, waiting for his question. "Well, I know you and Ricky's mom, um, other mom, didn't really get along all that well but do you guys get along now?" Nora wasn't sure why Ben would be asking her about her relationship with Margaret but was too curious not to bite.

"We do."

"And how long did that take?" Nora shrugged.

"We're still working on it. Well, I am anyway. Why?" Ben sighed.

"It's just that, well I'm sure you know by now but mine and Adrian's daughter was stillborn." Nora gasped and her eyes became watery. She instinctively reached out and hugged Ben briefly.

"No, I didn't know." Ben looked at her with surprise.

"You didn't?" Nora shook her head.

"I know Amy knows 'cuz Grace told her and so I know Ricky knows by now, and probably Amy's whole family. He didn't say anything to you?" Nora shook her head.

"When I told him you guys had had the baby he didn't let on if he did." Ben was slightly confused.

"Who told you we'd had our baby?"

"Bunny changed the schedule a while back and I saw that other people were working your shift so I just assumed it was because Adrian had had the baby," Nora explained.

"And you told Ricky?" Nora nodded and then her brows drew together as she thought back.

"I told him you guys had had your baby when he got to work and he asked me how I knew so I told him I'd seen Bunny put up the revised schedule and just assumed." Nora tilted her head to one side as she recalled that afternoon. "He didn't correct me or anything." Just then Ricky walked over to them carrying a tray of various wrapped beef cuts to add the display window. He paused when he noticed his mother and Ben staring at him with their brows furrowed together.

"What?" he asked as he approached them more cautiously.

"Why didn't you tell me, Ricky?" Nora said in a hushed but accusing voice. "I woulda sent flowers or a condolences card or something." Ricky slid open the display door and then looked at his mother like she had a screw loose before focusing on adding the cuts to the display neatly.

"What are you talking about?"

"That day I told you Ben and Adrian had had their baby. Why didn't you tell me you knew she'd been stillborn?" Nora sked, her eyes misting again as she said the last word. Ricky took a deep breath and then looked over at his mother.

"It wasn't my news to tell," he said simply, completing his task and sliding the door shut.

"Who else knows?" Ben asked, his voice sounding a little suspicious. Ricky sighed and turned his eyes to look at Ben.

"Amy's family, Lauren, Madison, and probably Ashley's best friend Griffin."

"Do you know if they told anybody else?" Ben asked, suddenly worried about who else knew, knowing everyone's past inability to keep secrets for long. Ricky shook his head.

"But my guess is nobody," Ricky stated, heading towards the kitchen area to drop off his dirty tray; Ben followed him.

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because Amy made a vow over the summer to keep the drama out of her life and her family and two best friends and I made it with her," he explained, heading towards the industrial sink to rinse off the tray before loading it into the dishwasher, not looking at Ben. "We don't gossip about other people and ignore what gossip we **do** hear. The only reason Amy told Madison and Lauren is because they could see how upset she was and she knew she could trust them, now, to keep the information to themselves."

"What about their boyfriends?" Ricky shook his head.

"The day Amy told them their boyfriends asked us what was wrong and we just said we'd gotten some bad news we didn't wanna talk about and they let it go," Ricky explained, placing the tray in the dishwasher and wiping his wet hands on his apron.

"Wait, why was Amy so upset? And did she tell her family for the same reason?" Ben asked curiously. Ricky sighed.

"Do you know how Amy found out?" Ben nodded.

"Grace told me she called her, thinking maybe she could comfort Adrian better since she'd been pregnant too. But what…"

"Did Grace tell you **why** Amy didn't reach out to Adrian?" Again Ben nodded, sighing with defeated.

"Yeah, she said Amy wasn't sure she could or should, given their history," Ben said sadly as the two of them headed back out front.

"Amy was really torn about what to do and I was there when Grace called her. We went straight home and spent the day with John, going over what-ifs in our minds. Her dad and Ashley came home and found us all somber and Amy had to explain why. And naturally her mother was told too." They were silent for a moment as they got back to work.

"Do you think she will?" Ben asked sincerely.

"What, talk to Adrian?" Ben nodded and Ricky shrugged.

"Honestly I don't know, Ben. She's still tryna work through her past with Adrian." Ben nodded and went in search of Nora to finish his conversation with her. When he found her she smiled at him amusedly.

"Time to finish our conversation?" Ben nodded.

"Long story short, Adrian's still working through the loss of Mercy, naturally, but I wanna help her and I'm not sure how. I thought that since you and Margaret shared Ricky, kinda sorta, and it made your relationship tense for a while, you could give me some pointers on how to fix my relationship with Adrian so we could be friends again." Nora gave Ben a blank look as she tried to weigh his words and make sure he was serious. Seeing the sincerity in his eyes and the expectant expression on his face, Nora decided to give him some advice.

"Well, Ben, the two situations are nothing alike. Really the only advice can give you is from what I've learned in my AA meetings and that's this: let Adrian know that you understand what she's going through, not because you've been through it before but because she was your daughter too and you're hurting just like she is. Second, let her know you're willing to partner with her and help her through her pain so you two can help each other heal." Nora shrugged. "Other than that, fixing your friendship's gonna be on you two." Ben nodded in agreement and sighed.

"Actually that's pretty helpful. Thanks, Nora." She gave him a small smile.

"Glad to know my screw ups can help somebody else." They finished their shift without any further deep discussions and Ben was eager to get home as he clocked out. He drove home, showered, changed, grabbed the candy grams he'd bought earlier and then drove to Adrian's. He rang the doorbell and waited. Adrian looked at him with surprise when she opened the front door. Ben greeted her with a smile and took the candy grams out from behind his back to present them to her.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Adrian." Adrian's brows lifted a little higher at this little surprise and then she smiled, her first true smile in months. She stepped aside so Ben could enter the house and then shut the door behind him. She took the candy grams from him and read the attached card: _Just to say I'm thinking about you. Ben._ Adrian gave him a hug and sighed.

"How'd you now I needed to see a friend today?" Ben chuckled as he ended the hug and pulled back.

"Everybody could use a friend. Especially on a day devoted to letting people you care about know you're thinking of them." Adrian's face went blank for a minute.

"You still care about me?" she asked, flabbergasted. Ben looked at her like it should've been obvious and nodded.

"We were friends first, Adrian, and even though she's no longer with us, Mercy will always be a unique connection we share," he told her sincerely. Adrian's eyes began to water and she smiled as she hugged Ben once more.

"Thanks, Ben. I really needed to know I wasn't alone today." Ben hugged her back.

"I'll always be here for you, Adrian." Adrian smiled. _Best Valentine's Day ever._


	34. Mommy and Me

Amy woke up to the sound of someone humming. It took her a moment to figure out where it was coming from as she struggled to wake up; she smiled when she realized she was hearing John's voice through the baby monitor next to her bed. She glanced at her alarm clock and saw that it was only 4:30. _Better get him before he wakes up Robbie_ she thought as she dragged herself out of bed and stretched. She made her way to the nursery and quietly opened the door. John was sitting on his bed making his teddy bear dance around and humming the Spiderman theme song to himself. Amy glanced over at Robbie's bed and inwardly sighed that he was still asleep. Amy made her way towards John and he looked up at the sound of her approaching footsteps.

"Hey sweetie," she whispered with a tired smile as she picked him up. "What are you doing awake so early?" She grabbed his blankie and made her way towards the door.

"Not sweepy no more," he explained as she quietly shut the door behind her and made her way back to her bedroom. Once Amy reached her bedroom she quietly shut her door and walked over to her bed. She shut off the baby monitor so any other noises John made wouldn't wake up Robbie and then set John on her bed so she could climb back under the covers. "Not sweepy no more mommy," he reiterated.

"I know but it's still sleep time," she gently explained. "Let's just lie down for a little bit, okay?"

"Otay," John said cheerfully and then laid next to Amy, snuggling close to her. Amy put an arm around him as she closed her eyes to attempt to get two more hours of sleep. However, John meant what he'd said early. John laid still for exactly five minutes and then patted Amy's face to get her attention. "Mommy, got go poop." Amy sighed and sat up. She turned on the lamp by her nightstand and then set John on the floor. He scurried over to her bedroom door and reached up to turn the knob to open it. When he accomplished his task he scampered to the bathroom to use his potty. He had his pull-ups down and was sitting on his little seat when Amy caught up with him. John squinted his eyes and grunted for a moment and then his face relaxed. He looked up at Amy. "All done mommy," he informed her. Amy wiped his bottom and then dumped the little turd into the toilet. She reached for the flusher but John stopped her. "I won do it mommy!" Amy chuckled.

"Okay, John. You can do it." She stepped to the side and John eagerly reached for the handle to flush the toilet. He giggled as he watched the water swirl down. He reached out a hand to splash the water but Amy grabbed it to stop him. "No, no, John, Potty water is dirty. We don't play in it." She released his hand and set his little potty chair back on the floor. She then grabbed John's little stool so he could climb up to the sink to wash his hands. Even though Amy had wiped John, she was trying to get him in the habit of washing his hands after using the bathroom. They washed their hands together and then headed back to her bedroom. Amy shut the door while John headed towards her bookshelf. He promptly grabbed a fistful of books once he reached it and then tossed them up onto Amy's bed. Amy smiled as she watched him try to pull himself up onto her bed using the comforter. She walked over to him and lifted him onto the bed.

"Won storwie pwease mommy," he said with a smile, holding up one of his story books. Amy gave him a tired but loving smile as she propped herself up against her headboard. John crawled into her lap and Amy tossed the sheet and comforter over them both. She took the book from John and opened it on her lap. She chuckled at his eagerness and then began to read.

Five story books, a trip to the kitchen for a cup of water, a potty break and three small puzzles later it was finally 6:30. Amy turned off her alarm clock once it sounded and then picked up John's books and toys and put them away. She then took John's hand and they walked back to his room so she could get him dressed for the day. Once he was dressed they walked hand-in-hand back to her room so she could get dressed. He preoccupied himself with some of his toys while Amy dressed and made sure all of their bags were packed for the day ahead. Amy piled the bags on her shoulders and then made her way to her door.

"Come on, John," she called gently. John grabbed his bear and scampered over to Amy to take her waiting hand. She removed the baby gate from the top of the stairs and they slowly made their way downstairs. Anne looked up when she saw them come into the kitchen and smiled.

"Good morning."

"Morning gwanma," John said with a smile.

"Morning," Amy said, her voice sounding a little tired. Anne looked at her with concern.

"You alright, Amy?" Amy nodded and yawned as she set her bags on the kitchen table.

"John woke up early this morning and wouldn't go back to sleep." Anne nodded in understanding. _Been there done that_ she thought with a smirk as she turned her attention back to the stove. Amy strapped John into his high chair and gave him his bear to play with for a minute or two while she went to load their bags into the SUV. George walked into the kitchen straightening his tie. He smiled when he saw John.

"Hey there little man. Who's my favorite grandson?" he asked John with a smile.

"Me!" John answered promptly and happily, causing George to chuckle.

"That's right." George kissed John's forehead and then made his way over to Anne to kiss her good morning as Amy came back inside. "Morning, Ames." Amy gave him a small smile.

"Morning, dad." Amy got out John's cup and filled it three-quarters full of juice. She set his cup on his highchair tray and then helped her mom finish breakfast while George started the coffee pot. Ashley came into the kitchen as Anne headed upstairs to get Robbie ready. The Juergens family made small talk as they ate their breakfast and got ready to head out for the day.

On the drive to the nursery John was a little curious chatterbox, alternating between talking to Amy about whatever popped into his head and asking her question, like why the lady in the car next to them had her doggie in her lap or why the man in the car they were now next to was picking his nose or what colors the traffic lights were and why they kept changing. Amy was starting to feel mentally drained by the time she pulled into the nursery parking lot. She dropped John off without incident and made her way to school. She yawned as she entered the hallway closest to her locker. _It's gonna be a long day._ Ricky approached her just as she turned around after having shut her locker. He could see that she was tired and his brows furrowed slightly.

"Everything okay?" Amy nodded and yawned again.

"Yeah. John just woke up early and wouldn't go back to sleep," she explained. Ricky nodded in understanding as they made their way towards the band room.

Amy went through the rest of her morning in a kind of fog. On some level she was hearing the words coming out of her teachers' mouths and she knew she was taking notes but she also felt like her mind was somewhere else and all she wanted to do was take a nap. By lunchtime Amy felt completely zoned out, totally on autopilot. She listened to her friends' conversations and contributed occasionally but her heart wasn't really in it. Ricky watched her nervously, knowing she was tired and wanting to do whatever he could to help her simply get through the day. Amy started to feel a little more aware by the end of lunch, the food in her system putting a little pep in her step. She was only slightly more aware of what was going on in her afternoon classes, which was a good thing considering she had a chemistry lab that day and it would probably be best **not** to burn the school down. When the final bell rang she still felt tired and knew she needed to pull it together so she could help wrangle her little brood of toddlers at the nursery. When Amy walked into John's playroom his face split into a happy grin.

"Mommy, mommy, mommy!" he called out happily, running towards Amy with his arms outstretched, expecting her to pick him up when he reached her. Amy laughed at her son's exuberance, especially considering he'd just seen her a few hours ago. Amy picked him up when he reached her and he hugged her tightly. "Hi mommy!" She smiled back at him as she walked towards the play stations area of the room.

"Hi, sweetie."

"Will you pway wit me?" Amy nodded and set him down. John reached for her hand and tugged her towards the building blocks play space. John slid a small tub of blocks towards Amy as she lowered herself to the floor. When he reached her he dumped them out and they began to play. Fifteen minutes into her shift Amy realized John was having a 'mommy attachment' day. John didn't want Amy to play with any of the other kids and he didn't want the other kids to play with him and Amy. Amy even had to put him in time out on one occasion when he shoved a little boy his own age who had attempted to join John and Amy as they played with a small pile of toy vehicles. For the next three hours, with the exception of John's one timeout, Amy played exclusively with her son, chatting with him, answering his questions and watching him enjoy spending some quality time with his mommy. Even though Amy played with John frequently, this little uninterrupted block of playtime reminded her that taking care of a toddler by yourself is **exhausting**, physically, mentally and emotionally. It didn't stop her from loving John, she was simply secretly **very** excited about the moment he'd go to bed for the night and she could relax.

Unfortunately, today was simply not Amy's day. John was cooperative through dinner, bath time and getting ready for bed time but when his bedtime actually rolled around, once again he simply wasn't tired. _Where'd this kid get all this energy from today_ Amy wondered tiredly as she read John his third bedtime story.

"Ok, John. Mommy tucked you in and read you three stories. It's bedtime now," she said gently but firmly. She rose from his bedside to return the storybook to his bookshelf.

"But I not tired mommy. One more storwie?" Amy made her way back to her son's bed to kiss him goodnight.

"No more stories. Now. Close your eyes and try to go to sleep." She kissed his forehead and then left the room, closing the door behind her. Amy made her way back to her bedroom and began working on her homework. She managed to get a solid hour of homework done before John's voice interrupted her thoughts.

"Mommy!" he called out. Amy quickly made her way to the nursery before John called out again and woke up Robbie. Amy quickly opened the door and John turned over onto his stomach so he could look at it as the light from the hallway suddenly illuminated his bedroom. "Won stay wit you mommy." Amy sighed and made her way to his bed to pick him up.

"Okay. You can stay with mommy tonight," she conceded. John laid his head on her shoulder and wrapped his arms around her neck. She quietly shut the door and made her way back to her bedroom. She placed John on her bed and then pulled back the covers. She tucked him in and then turned off her overhead bedroom light, the light from her desk lamp the only light in the room. "Now close your eyes and go to sleep," she instructed, kissing his forehead. She rose and made her way back over to her desk to finish her trigonometry homework. She worked for **maybe** twenty minutes before she heard the sheet rustling. She glanced over and saw John slowly climbing down from her bed, his teddy and blankie in his hands. "John….." He scampered over to her and looked up, his eyes pleading.

"Won snuggle." Amy sighed and picked him up so he could sit in her lap sideways. She tucked his blankie around him and he snuggled into her. She kissed the top of his head and then returned her focus to her homework. By the time she finished her math homework and half of her history review questions, John was fast asleep. She felt him completely relax into her and felt his warm breath against her shirt. She smiled as she finished the rest of her homework, her son safe and sound in her lap. By the time she was finished it was close to 10:30. She quietly pushed back from her desk and wrapped her arms around John to carry him to her bed. She tucked him in and then looked down at him for a moment, smiling tenderly as she watched his little chest rise and fall, his face so innocent and at peace. She quickly gathered what she needed for her shower and headed to the bathroom to take a shower. She took a short trip down memory lane as she showered. She thought about her pregnancy, all the times she'd felt John kick and seen his little face on the sonograms. She thought about the first few months after John's birth, how nervous she was about breast feeding and how much she eventually looked forward to the quality alone time with her son that breastfeeding gave her. She thought about the first time John had called her mama and how much her heart had swelled with love and joy at the sound. She got out of the shower and dried off. She yawned as she got dressed, her interrupted sleep from that morning finally catching up with her. She finished getting ready for bed quickly and made her way back to her room. She smiled when she saw that John was still fast asleep. She put her bath things away and turned off her desk lamp before making her way to the bed. John didn't stir when Amy climbed under the covers and pulled him closer to her. _Yes, being a teen mom is hard but my little guy's worth every second of it._ Amy kissed his forehead and drifted off to sleep.


	35. The Terrible, Trying, Troublesome Twos

Ricky hurriedly walked in the kitchen door of the Juergens' house and froze at the sight before him. Near the kitchen table Amy was currently starring at their two year old with her hands on her hips and fire in her eyes. John was staring back with his arms crossed, his brows furrowed and his lips puckered in a pout. There was a small plastic cup on the floor sitting in the middle of a puddle of spilled juice with a coloring book lying next to it, also in the juice puddle. A few feet away from the puddle was a broken dinner plate, the remains of a dinner mixed among the shards. Ricky had called Amy a few minutes ago intending to discuss spring break plans with her when he'd heard Amy's exasperated shout of 'JOHN!'. Amy had abruptly ended the call and Ricky had rushed over, thinking John might have just hurt himself. What he didn't anticipate was to find Amy and their son having a staring death match. He cleared his throat.

"Um…" Amy quickly glanced at him and then back at their son.

"John Nathaniel Juergens, when I say that it's not playtime that meant that you STOP playing around young man! And you DO NOT throw things when you don't get your way!" she told John, her voice and body language making it clear that she was livid.

"Put I wanna play wight now!" John declared, raising his voice slightly to get his voice across.

"DO NOT raise your voice at me young man! You need to use your **polite** voice when you talk to me, or daddy, or auntie, or your grandmas and grandpas! Do you understand?" John broke eye contact to stare down at his toes and nodded. A moment later his little face crumbled and his bottom lip began to quiver.

"I just wanted to pway some more, mommy." He sniffled and wiped his sleeve across his face to dry his wet cheeks. "I sorry." Amy's resolve crumbled as she was suddenly overcome with mental fatigue as she replayed her week thus far.

John's second birthday had occurred Sunday night. Her family, Ricky, Nora, Margaret, Shakur, Griffin, Madison, Lauren, Jesse, Justin, and Grace had all gone over to Margaret and Shakur's to celebrate. John had a mini mountain of gifts and Anne baked him a little cake that resembled a fire truck, his current favorite type of truck because of all its 'neat lights and tings', according to John. John had been on cloud nine being the center of attention and getting so many presents. Ricky had kept a comforting arm around Amy most of the night as she was so emotional about her baby being two years old. The evening had passed pleasantly and then everyone went their separate ways and then to bed. It was shortly after John woke up the next morning that the terrible twos set in, in a big way.

Monday morning John decided that he didn't like any of Amy's decisions concerning his person. She spent fifteen minutes arguing and wrestling with him as she tried to dress him. He refused to wear the first three outfits she picked out and when she finally decided to let him pick out his clothes for the day, he refused to put them on, which led to the wrestling match as Amy had to hold him down to dress him. As she fixed him oatmeal for breakfast he refused to eat it, demanding that he wanted pancakes instead. When Amy told him that it was too late for pancakes because he took too long to get dressed, he threw a fit, flailing around and beating his feet against his brand new booster seat, knocking over his oatmeal and juice cup in the process. Amy had scolded him and put him in time out, which caused him to dissolve into tears and get up from his timeout seat to hug Amy's legs, saying he was sorry and wanted her to hug him. When she obliged John settled down and behaved like his usual cheerful, pleasant self for the rest of the day.

Tuesday morning went much more smoothly, allowing Amy to get out of the house without a meltdown, but John had a busy morning at the nursery. A short while after Amy dropped him off, John got into a shoving match with a little boy who had taken a little plastic tugboat John had been playing with. When the little boy refused to give it back John shoved him. The little boy got up and shoved him back and the two boys wrestled their way into a building block tower two little girls were building. The crashing of the blocks alerted Jennifer and Naomi and the boys were placed in time out. During morning snack time John decided he'd rather not sit at the table with the other kids in his group and carried his snack over to the window so he could look outside as he ate his fruit slices and drank his milk. A little girl saw John leave the table with his food and tattled to Jennifer. Jennifer made John rejoin the group at the table to finish his snack and John glared at the little tattletale. When their snack was finished it was time to go over their colors and color on the worksheets that accompanied their brief lesson. John purposefully sat next to the little girl and then hogged all the crayons so she couldn't have any. The little girl raised her hand to tattle on John again and he shoved her out of her chair. Even though he didn't shove her hard and she wasn't hurt, the little girl began to cry. When Naomi came over the little girl pointed at John and told her what happened. John glared at the little girl.

"Tattletale," he said with a pout. Another little boy at their table gasped and looked at the little girl.

"Tattletale, tattletale," he said in a sing-song voice. Two more kids joined in before Naomi got them all to quiet down. Naomi put John in time out, again, but then made it a point to keep John and the little girl separated for the rest of the day, which surprisingly did the trick.

Wednesday wasn't quite as active but was still interesting nonetheless. When Amy came home that evening she was on the phone with Madison, discussing getting together that weekend to review for their trig test. She thought she set her purse far enough on the counter for it to be stable but she hadn't and it fell to the floor, spilling its contents. Amy set John down and proceeded to put everything back inside it, still on the phone with Madison. Her task completed, Amy stood up and set her purse safely on the counter and glanced beside her for John as she ended her call. She panicked for a moment when she didn't see him and didn't hear him making any noises.

"John!?" she had called out.

"Yes, mommy?" he had replied. Amy followed the sound of his voice and found him just around the corner from the kitchen in the dining room. She paused when she took in the scene. John was standing there with his hands behind his back, a blank look on his face, which made Amy suspicious.

"What were you doing, John?" He rocked on the balls of his feet as he looked at her.

"Nothin'," he said innocently, which meant he had **definitely** been doing something.

"What's behind your back, John?" John had stopped rocking and switched to swiveling his torso back and forth.

"Nothin'," he said innocently again. Amy arched an eyebrow.

"John, don't lie to me. Tell mommy what you have behind your back and what you were doing." John had stuck out his bottom lip and stared at the floor. He bent his left leg and began swiveling his toes back and forth as though he were absentmindedly digging a toe into the sand.

"It a surpwise." Now Amy was curious as well.

"A surprise for who?"

"For you," John replied, not looking up. Amy inwardly sighed.

"John, show mommy what you were doing." John stilled for a moment and then took a small step the side. Behind him on her mother's dining room wall was a smiley face, drawn in ink. Amy put her left hand over her eyes and sighed. John looked up with confusion.

"Don't you like it mommy?" Amy looked at her son's worried face and lowered herself to her knees so she was eye level with him.

"It's very nice, John. But from now on only draw on paper that mommy gives you and not grandma's walls, okay?"

"Okay." Amy put her hand out.

"Give mommy the pen." John handed it over. "Where'd you get this from?"

"Your purse. It was on the floor." Amy sighed as she nodded. Apparently she hadn't picked up **everything** that had fallen out of her purse. Thankfully Anne was more amused than upset by John's impromptu need to artistically express himself, much to Amy's relief.

Thursday Amy was lulled into a false sense of security as John behaved himself that morning, all day at the nursery, and during Amy's shift. It wasn't until dinner time that John again decided he wanted to do things his own way. Amy had texted her mom to let her know there was an accident that had backed up traffic on her way home and she'd be late. Anne had saved them plates and left them warming in the oven. When Amy finally got home, she put John in his booster seat and retrieved their dinners from the oven. John began playing with his food and Amy told him to stop and eat it. The second time she spoke in a firm voice and arched an eyebrow as she told John that if he didn't stop then she would take the plate away and he could go to bed with an empty tummy. That was when Ricky had called her. She answered her phone just as John crossed his arms and kicked out, his feet kicking the surface of the table and knocking over his juice cup. Amy had shouted out in frustration and ended the call. She reached over and removed John's plate from in front of him and he tossed his little plastic fork at her, his brows furrowed as he glared at her. Amy had promptly picked John up and removed him from the table before he knocked anything else over or threw something else. John had pulled away and reached up to the table to Amy's plate of swiped his arm to knock it off the table.

"NOT FAIR!" he yelled at Amy, his eyes and voice angry. When Amy lunged to grab a hold of him John scurried under the table to avoid her and then came out on the other side, intent on throwing something else. The first thing he could find happened to be one of his coloring books. When he tossed it in Amy's general direction it landed in the puddle of his spilled juice and Amy had actually growled at her defiant two-year old. _So help me if this little boy doesn't get his act together I'm gonna scream!_ She simply starred at John, feeling very heated as she slowly counted backwards from ten to keep from yelling at her son. On one level she knew John was simply acting out because he was growing up but on another, Amy knew that she had to nip the habit of acting out when he didn't get his way right **now**. She had just reached zero when Ricky's voice interrupted her thoughts.

Ricky wasn't sure what to do. Amy had kept him up to date so far that week on John's terrible twos but this was the first time he'd seen the aftermath of John's recent behavior. Hearing quiet, George and Anne came downstairs to inspect the damage and found Amy hugging a sniffling John, a weary expression on her face, and Ricky standing in the back doorway, an uncertain expression on his. Amy and Ricky both turned to look at George and Anne when they entered the kitchen. George gave them an empathetic smile.

"There'll be good days and bad ones," he informed them with a shake of his head. "You just gotta ride it out and remember they love you." George headed towards the kitchen sink and wet the dishtowel to begin sopping up the spilled juice. Amy gave him a grateful expression.

"We got this," Anne informed her, heading to the pantry to retrieve the broom and dustpan. She inclined her head towards the stairs. "Go on." Amy and Ricky headed upstairs to get John ready for bed. John was very cooperative, and very quiet, as Amy and Ricky bathed him, dressed him and brushed his teeth. That night Amy sat on John's bed with him in her lap as Ricky sat next to them and read John his bedtime story. They kissed him goodnight and tucked him in. Amy sighed as she closed the bedroom door and then put her arms around Ricky's waist and promptly burst into tears. Ricky hugged her briefly and then led her to her bedroom so they could sit on her bed.

"What happened to my sweet baby boy?" she sobbed. "It's like someone flipped a switch and suddenly I don't recognize him all the time." Ricky cradled Amy's head in the crook of his neck and rubbed her arm soothingly.

"He's still out sweet, little boy, Amy. He's just growing up." Amy sniffled and wiped at her cheeks before pulling back slightly so she could sit up straighter.

"He's only two, Ricky! Why's he gotta be so defiant sometimes?" Ricky chuckled, causing Amy to glare at him.

"Amy, remember how excited he was the first time he used his potty and we flushed it down the toilet?" Amy nodded. "He was so excited to be a big boy and not a baby anymore, right?" Again Amy nodded. "He wants to do more things himself, **and** do them **his** way. We just gotta find a way to balance out letting him be more independent with keeping him safe from things he's still too little to do on his own."

"And how the heck are we supposed to do **that**?" she asked hotly as fresh tears began to fall. Her face crumbled a little as she continued speaking. "He's only **two**, Ricky. He's still so little. How much independence do you **give** a two year old exactly?" Her eyes pleaded with him for an answer and he looked at her with sadness in his eyes.

"I don't know, Amy. I'm new to this too." He pulled her against him again. "We just gotta figure it out as we go I guess." Amy softly cried into his neck. _I know he's gotta grow up eventually but he's only two. Why'd he gotta start changing now? Will I ever get my baby back?_ Ricky stared off into space as he tried to sort through his own thoughts about John growing up. _I know kids test the boundaries as they grow up but Amy's got a point: why's the pushing gotta start so young? It's not like John can't do __**some**__ things for himself but how do you know when your kid's ready to do certain things on his own? And how one __**earth**__ do I keep his mother from having an emotional breakdown in the process?_


	36. Spring Break Plans

Ricky came up behind Amy in the hallway and wrapped his arms around her waist as he kissed her cheek. Amy smiled but didn't turn around.

"I have an idea about spring break," he told her.

"Oh? And what's that?" she asked, still grabbing things out of her locker.

"I think the three of us should take a little road trip." Amy closed her locker and spun around in his arms, looking at him with an arched eyebrow and a look of curiosity.

"Oh?" Ricky smirked and nodded.

"I think the three of us should go up the coast to that little town we stopped at and just hang out for a week." Amy tucked her hair behind her left ear.

"Ricky, that might be a little expensive, don't you think?" He smiled and shook his head.

"I've already got most of it figured out. We can go over everything this weekend then talk to your parents about it." Amy chewed her lip nervously as she considered his suggestion. "Just think about it and wait 'til I've shown you what I've got worked out. Please?" He gave her a puppy dog pout and she giggled.

"Ok. I'll take a look at what you've got figured but no promises." Ricky smiled and gave her a kiss. At Madison's locker Justin was leaning on the locker next to hers also trying to persuade her to take a trip with him over spring break.

"It won't be camping camping; we'll be in a log cabin," he assured her. Madison didn't look convinced. "Okay think of it like this: you get to earn extra credit in both PE and science **plus** you get to go camping without having to actually sleep outside and rough it." Madison's expression changed from doubt to one of consideration. "Come on. I know you want to," he teased in a sing-song voice as he smiled at her. Madison smirked and rolled her eyes at her boyfriend.

"I don't know, Justin. I'm not really an outdoorsy kind of girl. Even if we do sleep in a log cabin at night there'll still be like hiking and stuff, outside, with bugs and wild animals." Justin laughed at her last words.

"Maddie, it's not camping in the mountains; it's a campgrounds. The wildest animals we'll likely encounter are squirrels and rabbits. Maybe a rogue bird or two," he added with a smile as he wiggled his eyebrows. Madison laughed and nodded her head.

"Okay. I'll talk to my parents about it and get 'em to sign the permission slip." A grin spread over Justin's face.

Grace meanwhile was powerwalking towards Grant's locker with exciting news. The smile on her face got even bigger when she spotted him at his locker, his head down as he concentrated on placing books into his backpack.

"Guess what?" she asked him excitedly. Grant glanced up and laughed when he saw that his girlfriend was practically about to jump out of her skin with excitement.

"Something good I take it," he replied with a smile. Grace nodded enthusiastically.

"You remember that guy Jeff Zagay, from my mom's support group?" Grant nodded as he shut his locker, giving Grace his undivided attention. "Well he's helping to organize a team of adult and student volunteers to go to Africa and help local medical clinics over spring break." Grant's eyebrows lifted slightly at the news out of curiosity; he wasn't sure yet why Grace was so excited.

"Ok…."

"Well he and mom have chatted at the meetings, obviously, and so he knows I wanna go into medicine and he's holding two of the spots for us! If we want 'em," she informed him excitedly. Now Grant's brows lifted even higher in surprise.

"Are you serious!?" Grace nodded, the smile never leaving her face. We've got about a week and a half to get the necessary shots and all the paperwork together, permission slips signed, etc. and then we could be getting some actual medical experience! While we're still in high school!" she explained excitedly. "So what do 'ya think?" Grant smiled at her.

"I think it sounds like an excellent way to give us a leg up at med camp this summer," he told her with a grin. Grace pulled out a packet from her binder and handed it to him.

"Here's everything you need to fill out and all the information about the trip. Jeff said he's willing to drop by the house and pick up our paperwork if we're interested. I just gotta let him know that we **are** interested so he can go ahead and fill up the other spots." Grant nodded his head in understanding and smiled at her.

"Looks like we're going to Africa." Grace smiled back.

"Looks like." In another section of the school Ashley and Griffin were climbing the stairs to the second floor to head to their first class.

"So a whole week to do nothing," Griffin said, a dreamy look on his face. "I can't wait to sleep in and eat junk food all day." He turned his head to look at Ashley.

"What are you planning to do over break?" Ashley shrugged.

"Pretty much beg my parents to take me driving during their lunch breaks and every other chance I can get," she said with a mischievous smile. "Maybe spend a little more time with Toby. Oh. And that sleeping in part sounds like a good idea too." A grin spread over Griffin's face.

"So things are going well with the Tobster I take it?" He didn't wait for Ashley to respond. "So, planning to sleep with him any time soon or you just gonna take things slow this time around?" Ashley's eyes widened in embarrassment and she smacked Griffin's arm. He simply shrugged, un-phased by her reaction. "What? It's not like you haven't thought about it before. I just wanna make sure when you **do** do it it's for the right reasons. And it goes without saying if he breaks your heart I'll hurt him." Ashley gave her best friend a small, grateful smile and nodded.

"Yes, it goes without saying." Walking together down a different hallway Alice was looking at her boyfriend with annoyance as he practically bounced along beside her with happiness.

"I can't believe spring break's just around the corner!" he told Alice with a smile. "A whole week dedicated to goofing off and sleeping in!" Henry sighed, the smile not leaving his face. "Oh the joys of youth." He turned his head to look at her. "What are **your** plans for the week?" Alice shrugged and adjusted the strap of her backpack.

"Just relaxing, occasionally going out with you, and hanging out with Ben, if we can **get** him to hang out with us." Henry's happy attitude cooled slightly.

"Yeah. He's a little more like the old Ben every day but he still doesn't wanna hang out much after school anymore. Or on the weekends." Alice nodded in agreement.

"I say we try to do something about that over spring break." Henry's smile returned.

"Agreed."

Two days later found Amy and Ricky sitting at his kitchen table with his laptop in front of them as John napped in the bedroom. Ricky had several Internet tabs open on the screen and a sheet of paper with information written on it in front of them.

"See? I got a discount for renting a room for an entire week and because John's under five he gets to stay free. The hotel has breakfast, as you know, so we'd only be eating out for two meals a day. And we could even reduce that by using the fridge and microwave in the room." He clicked a tab and showed Amy a map of nearby grocery stores and food marts to help reinforce his previous point. He then clicked another tab that listed local tourist activities. "And there are a lot of things we can do with John for free too." Amy tried to hide a smile as she listened to Ricky talk. She could tell from the look on his face and the excitement in his voice that he really wanted to do this and had put in a lot of effort to ease all her potential concerns about making the trip. "So what do you think?" he asked, looking away from the screen to see her reaction and hear her response. He took her smile as a good sign.

"You really wanna do this don't you?" Ricky nodded.

"We could all use a break and a change of scenery. Besides," he paused to close the lid of his laptop. "I think a mini family vacation could be good for us, help us become a stronger family, us taking care of John all on our own for a change." Amy considered his words and realized he was right. Since John's birth the two of them had never really been solely responsible for taking care of John; their families had always helped out on occasion. _Maybe this is a chance to have a vacation and prove we can do it on our own at the same time._ She gave Ricky a smile and he knew she was on board.

"Ok. On one condition."

"What's that?"

"We split the cost of gas and meals." Ricky shook his head but Amy cut him off before he could protest. "If this is gonna be a family vacation than we'll pay for it, as a **family**, and that means we'll **both** cover the expenses." Ricky saw the determined look in her eyes and knew the discussion was closed. _Is it wrong that I find it sexy when she gets all assertive and decisive on me_ he wondered as he gave her a smirk.

"Ok."

"Ok. So let's look at those activities so we'll know how much money we may end up spending on our little adventure," she said with a smile. Ricky smiled back and opened his laptop. They spent the remainder of John's naptime planning their trip so they would have a concise game plan they could explain to her parents when they asked them about the trip, although they also left parts of each day unplanned so they could just go with the flow of the day.

Grace and Grant were sitting in the waiting room of the hospital with their moms, waiting to be called in to get their shots. Grant's mom was looking at him with worry etched into her face.

"I don't know, Grant. Africa is just so far away. What if something happens to you?" Grant tried his best to hide a smile; his mother worried too much.

"Well then it's a good thing I'll be traveling with a medical team so they can patch me up." Grace snorted at Grant's response and then hid her face behind the magazine she was leafing through. Grant's mother glared at him.

"Oh don't be so flippant about it! I know this is a good opportunity for you I'm just…worried." Grant gave him mother a reassuring look and reached over to take her hand.

"Mom, volunteer medical teams make these trips all the time. I'm getting the recommended shots, I've read all the information the group provided on how to stay safe while I'm over there and background information on the country and regions we'll be helping in. I promise not to take any unnecessary risks and come back in one piece," he assured her. His mother reached over and hugged him and Kathleen glanced at Grace with a worried expression of her own. Grace felt her mother's stare and lowered the magazine.

"I promise everything he said," she told her mother with a smile. Kathleen smiled back as a nurse came out and called Grace back to get her shots. _Lord, be with them and the rest of the team as they travel there and back_ she silently prayed as she watched Grace follow the nurse to a room in the back. _Help them do some good while they're there and come back to safe and sound._

As Grant waited to get his shots Madison was sitting on the couch of her living room looking at her parents, who sat on the loveseat next to her. Her dad was looking at her skeptically.

"But you hate camping," he stated. Madison rolled her eyes and sighed.

"It's not camping camping, daddy, we'll be in a large log cabin at night. See?" She directed her father's gaze to the location in the information packet he was holding that detailed the lodging arrangements for the trip by pointing at it. "And I'll be getting extra credit for school, a little exercise, and learning survival skills. You know, in case the world ends or something. Or my car just happens to break down near the woods. Who knows. Anyway it's a win-win. Besides, don't most parents **want** their kids to get outta the house each day, for at least part of spring break? This way the two of you get the house to yourselves for a whole week!" She could see her father thinking about it so she sat silently, waiting to hear his response. He turned to his wife.

"What do you think?" he asked her uncertainly. She chuckled.

"Your daughter asks you for permission to go on a school trip for extra credit and you're hesitant?" she asked him, her voice teasing. "She's taking a little initiative so I think we should let her go," she said with a smile, looking at Madison. Madison smiled and looked at her dad expectantly. He sighed, knowing he was outnumbered.

"Alright fine. But if you don't enjoy yourself I don't wanna hear about it. Deal?" Madison nodded eagerly as she watched her father put the papers on the coffee table and sign the last sheet.

"Deal!"


	37. And They're Off!

Several hours after school the Friday before spring break found Madison, Justin and twelve other students in the school parking lot loading up their camping gear into a trailer hitched to a fifteen passenger van and telling their parents goodbye.

"Be careful and have fun," Madison's stepmom told her as she gave her a hug. Madison hugged her back and then they pulled away from each other.

"See you in a week," Madison said with a smile before heading towards the van so she could claim a window seat. Justin hugged his mom goodbye and then joined Madison, stopping in the doorway of the van to turn around and give his mom one final wave.

"Alright campers let's load up," Mr. Jeffries, the biology/botany instructor called out to the group. Twelve teens scurried to load into the van as Mr. Jeffries and one of the female P.E. instructors, Ms. Norton, inspected the trailer one last time to ensure its door was securely shut and locked and the hitch connection was secure. They completed their inspection and climbed into the driver's and passenger seats.

"Everyone buckled in?" Ms. Norton asked, turning around in her seat to make sure the students actually were. There was a slight scuffle as several students grudgingly buckled themselves in. Seatbelts secure, Mr. Jeffries started the engine and the group was on their way, the students' parents watching and waving them off.

As the campers began their journey, Grace, Grant and small group of teenager were at LAX telling their parents and loved ones goodbye.

"Bwing me back a souvenir," Tom said as he gave Grace a bear hug. Grace laughed and hugged her brother back.

"I will," she promised. Tom released her and her grandmother approached her.

"I know it's not exactly a church mission trip but all the same there's gonna be some hard work, some fun, and lots of opportunities to grow and touch other people's lives," she told Grace with a smile. "I'll miss you sweet pea," she said, giving Grace a hug. Grace hugged her grandmother tightly and then pulled back with a smile.

"I'll miss you too, grandma." Kathleen approached last and she was fighting hard to keep her tears at bay. Grace could see her mother's internal struggle and wrapped her arms around her mom's waist. Kathleen hugged her back tightly and sighed.

"Africa's just so far away, Gracie," she said sadly. "Just be safe and come back in one piece. Ok?" She pulled back slightly so she could look Grace in the eye. Grace nodded.

"I will," she promised. Kathleen sighed again and hugged her daughter tightly. She knew this was a great opportunity for her daughter but that didn't mean she had to be completely okay with her daughter being on another continent.

"Alright everyone we should get going," the team leader called out. The volunteers all gave their loved ones final hugs and then followed the team organizers and got in line for security. Tom, Kathleen and her mom watched with the rest of the loved ones as the group made their way through security. After they passed through the security gate and collected their belongings, Grace and Grant stopped and turned to wave goodbye one last time to their families before heading down the walkway out of sight towards their gate. Kathleen's mom put an arm around her.

"She'll be just fine, Kathleen. Gracie's a tough little cookie and she's got her boyfriend looking out for her. All we can do now is pray," she told her daughter with a soft smile. Kathleen gave her mother a grateful smile, acknowledging that her mom was attempting to console her. She nodded in agreement and the little trio began making their way towards the parking garage to head home.

Back at the butcher shop Ricky was working with pep in his step. Nora chuckled as she worked with him to finish the basket orders that had come in that day and Ricky glanced up at her.

"What?" he asked curiously. Nora shook her head.

"Nothing," she said with a shrug, a smile on her face. "Just that I can see how happy you are about your little family vacation and I think it's adorable." She finished the basket she was packing and began to wrap it up.

"Adorable?" Nora nodded.

"Yeah. It's cute that my baby's so happy about spending time with his baby. Well, and his baby mama," she explained, the smile still on her face. She glanced across the work bench at Ricky. "It's nice," she told him sincerely. Ricky smiled back and returned his focus to the basket he was currently packing. "Just do me a favor and take lots of pictures." Ricky chuckled and nodded. Since his mom had become more involved in his life again she'd been snap happy, taking so many pictures of him, John, Amy and their interactions with both Amy's family and Margaret and Shakur that he was sure she could fill a whole bookshelf worth of photo albums. He wasn't sure if she was simply making up for lost time or if she was just so excited to have her family back, to be part of a real family, that she was just trying to document each new precious memory as it happened.

Ricky's good mood endured for the rest of his shift, as he fixed and ate his dinner after work and then as he double checked his bag for their trip. He didn't know why he'd been keeping count but so far, since he and Amy had started dating, they'd had three sleepovers and he thoroughly enjoyed waking up in the same building as Amy and John each time, working together to get him ready for the day. He was looking forward to tonight's sleepover as well. A thought suddenly occurred to him: _maybe this'll give us an idea of what it's like to live together._ His smile got a little bigger as he grabbed his keys and headed out to pick up Amy and John. When he arrived at Amy's and knocked on the door, Ashley opened it.

"Hey," he greeted her.

"Hey," she replied, stepping aside so he could enter.

"I no wanna play wight now John," they heard Robbie declare to his nephew from the living room. "I won cu-wer."

"I wanna play wit the cars. Pwease Wobbie?" they heard John ask as they entered the living room. As soon as John spotted Ricky the toy cars were forgotten. John gave Ricky a smile as he stood up and ran to him "Daddy!" Ricky laughed and scooped him up when John reached him.

"Hey, buddy. You ready to go?" John nodded his head eagerly. "Let's go see if we can find mommy."

"She's right here," Amy answered with a smile as she came into the living room carrying her small suitcase and purse. Ricky smiled when he saw her and then looked back at John.

"Say goodbye to aunty and Robbie, John," Ricky instructed. John turned to look at Ashley, who had taken a seat on the couch to channel surf.

"Bye auntie," he said, giving her a wave. Ashley turned her head to the side and smiled at him as she blew him a kiss.

"Have fun rug rat," she said with a smile. John looked down at Robbie and waved again.

"Bye, Wobbie." Robbie looked up from where he was lying on the floor coloring in his little coloring book and noticed John waving at him so he waved back, and then promptly returned his attention to the book. Amy chuckled and walked closer to the doorway. She left her suitcase there and knelt down next to her little brother to kiss his cheek.

"Bye bye, Robbie. I'll see you later."

"See you waiter," he parroted, not bothering to look at her since he didn't really comprehend the fact she wouldn't be there for a few days. Amy got up and walked over to Ashely. Ashley presented Amy with her cheek but kept her eyes on the TV. "See you in a week, Ash."

"Toodles," Ashley said. "Have fun, be safe, blah, blah, blah," she said nonchalantly. Amy chuckled as she stood up and headed back over to Ricky and John.

"See you in a week," Ricky said before turning to leave. He picked up John's little suitcase and diaper bag and then held the door open for Amy. Once she'd headed outside he shut the door behind them and they headed to his car. They loaded the bags into the trunk and then loaded into the car, Ricky buckling John into his car seat. Once he and Amy were buckled in he carefully backed out of the driveway and drove them back to his apartment.

As Amy and Ricky were headed to his apartment Grace, Grant and their little group were standing in line to board their plane, Grace emitting excited energy, causing Grant to chuckle.

"This is so exciting!" she said happily as they headed down the walkway together. "Just think! We're on our way to another country to help people! For a **whole** week we'll get to see what it's really like to be doctors! I'm excited and nervous at the same time!" Grant smiled at her.

"I know what you mean," he said as they entered the plane and made their way towards their seats. "It's awesome that we get a chance to go out and help people but it's also kinda unnerving that we'll be in another country so far from home." They found their seats and Grace made her way towards the window seat while Grant loaded their carry-ons in the overhead bin. They were joined by two other members from their team and everyone got comfortable as they waited for the plane to fill. Grace pulled out her phone and sent her mom, grandma, Tom, and friends a mass text: _Boarded the plane. Waiting for takeoff!_ Amy felt her phone vibrate as she entered Ricky's apartment. She pulled it out to look at it as John scampered over to his toy bin, taking advantage of his mother's momentary distraction to play.

"Grace is on the plane," she announced to Ricky before putting her phone back in her pocket and picking John up to take him to bed. He groaned and pouted when she did so. "It's bedtime, John. We're going on our trip tomorrow so we need to get lots of sleep." Being reminded of the trip lifted John's mood. She and Ricky had been telling John about their trip for a couple of weeks to help prepare him for it mentally, since it would be a complete change of pace and scenery for him. Ricky placed his and John's bags by the front door and made sure it was locked while Amy read John his bedtime story, since he was already dressed for bed like he would be any other Friday evening. Once she finished the story Amy tucked him into his bed and kissed his forehead goodnight before turning off the light; she left the door slightly ajar so she wouldn't wake him when she came back in to go to sleep. She went into the living room to talk to Ricky for a bit. Ricky was sitting on the couch checking his phone and glanced up when he heard her footsteps approaching. He smiled when he saw her and patted the seat on the couch next to him in invitation.

"You ready for this?" he asked with a smile once Amy was seated next to him, putting an arm around her. She leaned against him and nodded.

"Yeah," she replied with a small smile. "I think it'll be nice to get away for a week." She sighed as she snuggled into him more. "I'm **so** glad our bosses like us enough to give us a whole week off." Ricky chuckled in agreement.

"Me too." He'd actually requested spring break off shortly after he and Amy had gotten back from their trip to the college and the idea of a family vacation first came to him. He was just glad Amy's boss had agreed to give her the week off; that would've thrown a serious wrench in his plans if she hadn't. He kissed her forehead and they simply sat together for a little while, enjoying the silence and each other's company. As Amy and Ricky relaxed together, Madison, Justin and their little camping group was just arriving at their campsite. There was a small flurry of activity as the teens all piled out of the van, eager to stretch their legs and get their first glimpse of their lodging for the next week. The sound of their chaperones unlocking the trailer made the teens head over towards them to retrieve their bags. Their gear in hand the teens followed Ms. Norton up the steps and into the cabin. The teens looked around in awe once she flipped a switch and the cabin's interior became illuminated. Madison had expected some little one-room shack with a bunch of bunk beds but this was anything but. The cabin had a full kitchen, a dining room and a living room downstairs with a sweeping staircase to one side of the living room that lead upstairs. At the top of the stairs Madison could see several doors, which she assumed led to bedrooms and a bathroom, as part of the upstairs walkway had a railing and was open to the living room below. The living room had large windows and Madison could see a lake in the distance, illuminated in various shades of red and orange as it reflected the last few lingering rays of the setting sun.

"Alright," Ms. Norton said to get everyone's attention. "Girls will be in the rooms to the left and the boys the rooms on the right," she instructed. "There's a bathroom at each end of the hall so you ladies and gents won't have to worry about crossing paths," she paused to give everyone a pointed look, letting them know there would be no hanky-panky on her watch. "And there's another bathroom downstairs," she informed them, pointing down a short hallway. "Everyone pick a room and a bunk and drop off your packs. Then come help Mr. Jeffries and I unload the rest of the gear and food we'll be using for the week." The teens quickly scrambled up the stairs, their footsteps sounding like a small stampeded, as they hurried to check out the rooms and claim a bunk. Ms. Norton set her pack on the floor and headed outside to help Mr. Jeffries unload the rest of the trailer.

By the time the teens had each selected a bunk and momentarily rid themselves of their bags, Mr. Jeffries and Ms. Orton had unloaded and put away all of the food. With fourteen teens helping, the rest of the gear was quickly unloaded and put away in an organized fashion.

"Alright everyone let's head into the living room," Mr. Jeffries announced. The teens trooped into the living room and made themselves comfortable on the assortment of couches, loveseats and armchairs while their chaperones stood near the fireplace the seating all faced towards. "You all have a copy our intended schedule so we won't go over that again right now. What we do want to cover are a few ground rules." The students groaned but Mr. Jeffries ignored them. "The basic ground rules were listed in your information packets and we expect them to be followed or you will call your parents so they can come pick you up. However, there are a few other rules to help make this week as smooth as possible for everyone."

"And they're pretty obvious," Ms. Norton chimed in. "One, there will be no boys in either of the girl's rooms and vice versa. Two, you will only use the bathroom at the end of your hallway, as I mentioned earlier. Understood?" She looked around the room and saw all of the teens nodding. "Three, the kitchen will be closed after each meal and there will be no snacking between them. We've planned out each meal and only brought enough food **for** each of those meals. We've planned out snacks for when we go hiking and any **other** snacking will mean we won't have enough food for a particular meal or planned snack." Several teens' eyes got a little wide at this bit of information as they had planned to snack when they felt like it.

"You were all told you could bring a few snacks to enjoy during your free time and these are the only snacks you may enjoy outside of meals and planned snacks," Mr. Jeffries assured them. "Now. It's time for bed." The teens collectively groaned and Mr. Jeffries chuckled. "We've got an early start tomorrow and you all need to review the rules and schedule in your packets so you'll be prepared for tomorrow morning." A student raised her hand. "Yes, Sarah?"

"I don't think I packed my packet," she said nervously.

"We've packed a few extra," he assured her and Sarah sagged with relief into the armchair she was currently occupying.

As the teens stood and made their way upstairs to get ready for bed, Grace and Grant's plane was taking off, Grace excitedly looking out the window as the buildings below got smaller and smaller and transformed into a sea of lights. _Lord, keep us all safe and help us to have a blast_ she silently prayed as took her gaze away from the window and prepared to take a nap.

As Grace closed her eyes to get some shut eye, Adrian was just glancing at her phone after having finished a late dinner. She'd gone for another walk that evening and then showered before preparing herself some dinner. She'd eaten a meal of tortilla soup, a small Caesar salad and enchiladas and washed it all down with some sweet tea. She felt proud of herself for having stuck to her plan to walk off the baby weight and eat better and was pleased to see that she'd lost four pounds over the past couple of weeks. She had finished washing up her dishes and decided to check her phone to see if Grace's plane had taken off yet. She saw that she had two missed texts from Grace and quickly read them:

_Boarded the plane. Waiting for takeoff!_

_Getting ready to take off! Will text when we transfer planes in NY!_

Adrian smiled sadly. _I'm glad someone's moving forward in life_. Her thoughts drifted to Mercy and she felt a twinge of sadness. She had been talking to Dr. Timmons since Mercy's death and so the sadness over losing her daughter so tragically no longer transformed her into an emotional wreck. Adrian had also been talking to Ben a little each day and he came over to visit her occasionally but they still hadn't really talked about Mercy's death and Adrian wasn't sure she was ready to just yet. Since Valentine's Day she'd felt a little bit of her self-confidence returning each day and it helped that she was slowly but surely getting her figure back. She knew she'd be ready to go back to school after spring break and hoped enough of her self-confidence would return that she could bring herself to face Amy and Ricky. They were the biggest variable in all this. Mentally she knew it wasn't their fault John had lived while Mercy hadn't but she hadn't seen or spoken to either of them in what felt like ages and she wasn't sure if the sight of them together, happily raising their child, would be enough to undo all the progress she'd made since the earthquake. She sighed as she headed upstairs. _Only time will tell I guess._

Like Adrian, Ben was just now checking his phone. He had decided to go to a late movie with Alice and Henry and had put his phone on silent. Even though he enjoyed the movie and just hanging out with his best friends like the good 'ol days, part of him felt guilty that he hadn't invited Arian to join them and that he had actually enjoyed himself. He'd spoken to Dr. Timmons on several occasions since Mercy's death, when he felt his emotions were getting the best of him, and he knew that it was okay to feel or be happy even though Mercy was no longer with him. That didn't stop him from feeling a little guilty as soon as he **realized** he was happy but he was getting better at remembering that life didn't stop just because you lost a loved one and the best way to honor that person's memory was to live in a way that would've made them proud of you. So he found himself pushing aside his guilt as he read the two missed texts he had from Grace.

"So Grace is on her way," he informed Alice and Henry as they made their way to Alice's car.

"She and Grant'll be gone for the whole week, right?" Henry asked. Ben nodded as he slipped his phone back in his pocket. "Hope they don't catch malaria or something." Alice scowled at him. "What!? I'm just saying I hope they **don't** catch anything. That would totally ruin their trip, right?" He glanced at Ben for backup and Ben just shrugged.

"I guess," he offered, attempting to help Henry out.

"I'm sure they got vaccinated what whatever they could catch before they left," Alice assured him as she hit the alarm on her key ring to unlock her car. The three teens got in and headed out of the parking lot, Grace, Grant and communicable diseases forgotten as they talked about their favorite parts of the movie they'd just seen. Ben smiled to himself as he sat in the backseat of the car. _It's nice to feel normal again. It doesn't mean I've forgotten about you baby girl_ he silently assured Mercy's spirit. _Daddy's just glad he's not sad all the time anymore. And let's hope mommy starts to feel normal soon too._


	38. Are We There Yet?

Grant was awakened by the sound of the flight crew passing out breakfast. He glanced to his left and saw that Grace was still sound asleep, her head on his shoulder. He gently shook her awake.

"Grace?" he whispered. When she didn't stir he shook her a little harder. "Grace." Grace shifted and slowly opened her eyes, smiling when her eyes met Grant's. He smiled back at her briefly. "They're serving breakfast." Grace sat up and stretched in her seat before pulling down her tray table and waiting for the flight attendant in their aisle to reach them. Grant turned to his right and gently woke up the other two members of their group that were next to him, not wanting them to miss their meal. The majority of the plane's occupants began to fully wake up as they consumed a breakfast consisting of either a bagel and cream cheese or a croissant with jelly, a small cup of mixed fruit, two slices of Canadian bacon and a sealed cup of either apple or orange juice. Half an hour after they finished their meals the pilot announced they were beginning their descent into Kenya. Grace looked out the window excitedly as she watched the ground grow closer and closer.

After touching down the group of volunteers made their way to the terminal to go through customs and get their passports stamped. Their paperwork in order, they made their way to baggage claim and found the correct carousel. They waited for several minutes before the buzzer sounded, indicating their luggage was on its way down. Grant grabbed Grace's bag for her when he spotted it and then she waited patiently for him to find and retrieve his own. Grant pulled his bag off the carousel and they joined the other members of their group who likewise had retrieved their luggage and they waited for the rest of their group to do so. Almost fifteen minutes later everyone had their bags and they headed outside. There was a bus waiting for them and everyone piled in.

"Alright everyone," one of the team leaders announced, standing up and bracing himself by placing his hands on the backs of the seats on either side of the bus' aisle. "We've got about a two and a half hour drive before we reach our base camp and once we get there we'll need to hit the ground running, so to speak, to make sure the clinic is fully set up and stocked before it opens tomorrow. I suggest you nap at least part of the time, if you can." Grace was too excited to sleep. She was in another country for goodness sake! Did he really expect her to take a nap now!? _I'll just sightsee for a little bit and then take a nap_ she decided. She glanced over at Grant who was sitting next to her and smiled when she saw that he had closed his eyes, intending to take their leader's advice. She looked back out her window and marveled at just how different the countryside of Kenya looked compared to what was considered the countryside back home.

As Grace watched the landscape pass by, Madison awoke to the sound of an alarm buzzing. As she sat up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes she was momentarily confused about where she was. She glanced around her surroundings and saw two girls sound asleep in the bunk bed next to her and remembered she was on a camping/educational trip. She yawned and quietly got out of bed, thinking it might be a good idea to get into the bathroom early since there were seven other females in the group. She grabbed her showering items and quietly made her way out of her room and the short distance down the hall to the bathroom. When she opened the door she was relieved to see that there was only one other person in the bathroom. Madison selected an empty shower stall and got ready to take her shower.

As she was getting ready to start her day, Amy and Ricky were doing likewise. They had gotten up early so they could do one last check that they had everything packed they would need for both the road trip and their stay at the hotel, including directions to all the places they planned to take John and their maps of the area, upon which they'd already marked their hotel and attraction locations so they could find their way around if they got lost. As they started making preparations for their breakfast John came out of the bedroom rubbing the sleep from his left eye with his left hand. He ignored his parents and made his way to the bathroom to go potty. Amy's head lifted when she heard the toilet seat bang in the bathroom.

"John?" she called out as she rounded the corner to enter the bathroom. When she poked her head in the bathroom she found the toilet seat up and John pushing his little plastic stepladder up to the front of the toilet bowl. He turned to look at her when she appeared in the bathroom.

"I can do it myself, mommy," he assured her. John climbed up his little ladder and lowered his pajama bottoms so he could pee in the toilet. "Don't look, mommy," he said, waving his hand in her direction, indicating he didn't want her to watch him. Amy turned around with a smile on her face. _He's getting so big, wanting to do everything himself._ She was amazed at how quickly John picked things up. Ricky had concluded they'd been training John with his little potty chair long enough that they should start training him on using the regular sized toilet. Ricky had found a little step ladder John could use to reach the toilet when he had to pee and they found a child's seat that could be fastened over the toilet seat so John wouldn't accidentally fall in when he had to go number two. It had been almost a month since they'd changed up his potty training routine and John had adapted just beautifully, even going so far as not wanting Amy or Ricky to watch him when he used the 'big boy potty'. Amy heard the toilet flush and turned around. John flicked the lid and was about to let it bang shut when Amy reached out a hand and caught it.

"We put the seat down gently, John, remember?"

"My bad," he replied, pushing his little ladder over to the sink to wash his hands. Amy couldn't help but chuckle. _He's picking up his daddy and auntie's lingo_ she thought bemusedly as she turned on the water and adjusted the temperature for John. She was secretly a little glad he wasn't tall enough to reach the knobs just yet.

As Amy finished helping her son get ready for the day Madison turned off her shower head and began drying off. She heard a couple of other girls come into the bathroom and smiled to herself for thinking ahead. There were only four shower stalls and eight girls, if she counted Ms. Norton. _Good thing that alarm clock woke me up._ Madison got dressed and headed back to her room to finish getting ready and the smell of sausage and eggs wafted up the stairs. Her stomach growled and she quickened her pace so she could head down and eat.

As Madison worked on getting ready for her day, Amy got John dressed and then he headed out to the living room to play until breakfast was ready. She collected his pajamas and headed to the front door to pack them in his little suitcase as Ricky got breakfast on the table.

"Time to eat, John," Ricky announced. John began heading towards the table but Ricky's voice stopped him. "Hang on their buddy. You need to pick up your toys first." John turned around and quickly scooped up the toys he'd been playing with and unceremoniously dumped them in his toy bin; Ricky shook his head and smirked. _I guess we'll have to start working on putting things away __**carefully**_. John scurried to the table and Amy helped him into his booster seat before moving to her own chair. She smiled at Ricky as he pulled it out for her and then she began to fix John's plate as Ricky took his own seat.

"You excited for our trip today, John?" Amy asked him as she set his plate in front of him. John nodded.

"Uh huh." Ricky poured John a small cup of juice and passed it to Amy to set in front of John. The little family ate in comfortable silence and then Amy helped John down from his chair to play while she and Ricky cleaned up the dishes.

A few minutes later they were ready to head out. Amy and Ricky each took two bags and John lead the way down the stairs and out to the parking lot; Amy took his hand once they were outside so he wouldn't dart off and get hit by a car. She helped John climb up into his car seat and then set down the bags she was carrying to buckle him in. When she did so Ricky loaded them into the trunk and placed John's diaper bag in the seat next to him. Ricky and Amy climbed in and buckled up and Ricky turned to smile at her.

"Ready?"

"Ready," she replied with a smile of her own before looking behind her at John. "You ready, John?"

"Ready!" Ricky and Amy chuckled as Ricky started the car and backed out of the parking lot. He pulled into traffic and headed towards the freeway while Amy turned on John's favorite children's station on the radio. John began singing along to his favorite songs as Ricky began driving his little family to their destination.

As the trio made their way towards the freeway, Madison was joined in the dining room by the rest of her fellow campers. They trickled downstairs by twos and threes until eventually they were all seated around the large dining table with plates filled with food.

"You'll all need to eat quickly as we're a little pressed for time," Ms. Norton informed them, glancing around the table. "Perhaps tomorrow you'll all get up a little earlier so you'll have plenty of time to eat **and** get ready for the day," she said pointedly, glancing at several girls who had come to the table last and looked like they were planning to go out somewhere other than hiking. The teens ate quickly and then collected their gear for the day. Once everyone was gathered in the living room Mr. Jeffries led them outside.

"And we're off," he said with a smile, causing several of the teens to roll their eyes at his upbeat attitude. It was much too early on a Saturday for anyone to be that cheerful. The group hiked in pairs behind Mr. Jeffries for a good half hour, pausing only once for a water break. Madison felt herself starting to perspire and was silently plotting various ways to get Justin back for this little suggestion. _I could be sleeping in right now._ A little while later Mr. Jeffries stopped and told the teens to gather around and set their packs down. Almost half of the group dropped their packs quickly and plopped down. "This isn't a rest stop," Mr. Jeffries informed them, eliciting groans from those teens who weren't used to hiking. "Everyone take out your notepads please." The teens dug around in their packs for the medium-sized notepads they'd each been given for the trip. They were expected to take notes on what Mr. Jeffries and Ms. Norton showed or explained to them along the hike and then write a brief account of each day's lessons at the end of the day.

"Dragging your feet will only keep us out here longer, Kyle," Ms. Norton said to a student who was taking his sweet time following Mr. Jeffries' instructions. Once Kyle had removed his notepad and a pen Mr. Jeffries directed the teens' attention to the base of a tree he was standing next to and pointed out a plant that was growing near the tree's roots. For the next ten minutes he explained to them what the plant was and why it was safe to eat, as well as the best way to extract it. He asked three students to come forward and extract the plant the way he had just instructed them to and then insisted each student try a bit of the plant's roots. As Madison chewed her small sliver of root she was reminded of a bland piece of beef jerky. It was a little tough and smelled kinda woodsy but as far as taste went it **definitely** needed salt or some other kind of spice.

As Madison gnawed on her root, Amy and Ricky were having a pleasant trip traveling up the coast, John happily singing along to the songs on the radio. Suddenly John stopped singing to ask a question, the question all parents hate to be asked.

"Mommy, are we there yet?"

"Not yet, sweetie."

"Can I have a snack?" Amy turned her head to look at the seat beside John and reached for his bag. She pulled it into her lap and opened a side pocket to take out a package of fruit snacks. She opened it and handed it to John.

"Thank you, mommy."

"You're welcome, honey." Amy set the bag on the floor in front of her and leaved her seat back slightly so she could stretch out a little bit.

"I'm thirsty, mommy," John declared a few moments later. Amy took a small child's-sized water bottle out of John's bag and loosened the cap before handing it to him. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Amy said, smiling at him before turning back around. John began humming again to a song on the radio and was perfectly content for a little while, which didn't last long as John made another declaration from his position in the back seat.

"I gotta go potty, mommy." Thankfully Ricky and Amy had already planned a couple of bathroom breaks, taking into account John's bladder was much smaller than theirs. Apparently Ricky had timed it perfectly because he pulled into a rest stop a couple minutes later. Amy helped John out of his car seat and then Ricky took his hand and led John into the bathroom while Amy stayed near the car and stretched her legs. They hadn't been driving for very long but she decided to stretch her limbs anyway. Ricky and John returned several minutes later and she got back into the passenger's seat as Ricky got John buckled in. As Ricky shut John's door and made his way to the driver's side John looked around for his bear. He spotted it on the floor and tried to reach for it. "Mommy, I can't reach my bear." Amy turned around to look for John's bear as Ricky started the car. She picked his stuffed friend up off the floor and handed it to him, along with his water bottle that she had taken from him when he got out of the car, as Ricky merged into traffic and continued on their way.

In Kenya Grace started to feel her eyes growing heavy. _I slept on the plane so why am I so tired?_ She glanced at her watch and realized just how off her internal clock was. Not only was the time different but she'd lost a whole day. Or was it gained? Either way she decided to follow her leader's advice and take a nap. _I hope I don't miss anything exciting out the window in the meantime_ she thought as she yawned and leaned her head on Grant's shoulder. _I wonder how much longer until we're there._

As Grace drifted off to dreamland Madison was once again planning different ways to hurt her boyfriend. So far she hadn't found any part of the day's hike to be fun and she wasn't looking forward to six more days of this. The attitude of the group had become mixed, with some teens enjoying the hike and some, like Madison, obviously unhappy and wishing for it to be over. Ms. Norton told the teens to stop at the side of the trail they were on and pull out their notepads again. Madison stifled a groan as she shrugged off her backpack and fished around for her notepad. Once she found it she glanced around for Justin and noticed that he seemed to be enjoying this. _I oughta push him in the lake to wipe that smile off his face._

"Alright everyone who can tell me what this plant it?" Ms. Norton asked, pointing to the plant in question. A girl named Ruth's hand went up. "Ruth?" Madison yawned as Ruth gave an answer explaining what its scientific name was and what hikers tended to call it. "Correct," Ms. Norton told her, causing Ruth to beam happily, proud of knowing the answer. Madison's interest picked up slightly as Ms. Norton explained why and how the plant could be used to stop the stinging from various insect bites they might obtain hiking in these particular woods. _Good to know_ Madison thought as she quickly wrote all of Ms. Norton's words down in her little notepad. The little group packed up and continued hiking for another hour, stopping a couple more times for either Mr. Jeffries or Ms. Norton to tell them about this plant or root or flower and how helpful it could be to them and once so the teens could make use of the restroom facilities the campgrounds provided at a rest point on the trail.

Lunchtime found Madison and Justin sitting down to a lunch of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, dehydrated apple crisps, carrot sticks, potato chips and PowerAde. They had been hiking on and off for the better part of the morning and Madison was now able to recognize two types of plant roots and two types of flowers that were edible. Mr. Jeffries had led the group to a clearing that had plenty of shade and a view of the lake. The breeze coming off the lake helped cool Madison's damp skin as she and Justin reclined against a tree together and ate their lunch.

"So what do you think so far?" Justin asked as he ate several of his fruit crisps. Madison glared at him but there wasn't any actual malice in her expression.

"Well my feet hurt a little and I'm kinda sweaty," she admitted before changing her expression and giving him a small smile. "But I gotta admit it's beautiful up here," she told him, turning her gaze back towards the lake. "So maybe hiking isn't as bad as I thought it'd be." Justin smiled triumphantly and continued eating his lunch.

"Told you it'd be fun." Madison snorted.

"I wouldn't go **that** far just yet," she chided him. "But we'll see," she said with a smile. Justin bumped her shoulder lightly and the two shared a smile. As they continued with their lunch John informed his parents it was lunch time.

"I'm hungry."

"We're almost there," Ricky told him. "After we check into our hotel we'll get some lunch, okay?"

"'Kay," John replied, looking out his window, his father's answer satisfactory. Twenty minutes later Ricky pulled into the hotel parking lot

"Oooooh," John said with awe. "That's a big house." Amy and Ricky chuckled as they unbuckled themselves and got out of the car. Amy unbuckled John from his car seat and helped him down and then took his hand as the little trio walked inside to check-in. John's head kept looking this way and that as he tried to take in everything he could.

"HI," Ricky said to the woman sitting behind the desk as he pulled out his printed out reservation details and handed them to her. The woman smiled back and looked at the sheet to bring up the reservation on her computer screen.

"What's that, mommy?" John asked, pointing towards a medium sized water fountain not too far away. Amy looked in the direction he pointed.

"That's a water fountain, sweetie."

"Can I play in it?" he asked, looking up at her. Amy chuckled.

"No honey. Water fountains aren't toys. They're just something pretty to look at."

"Oh," John said dejectedly, looking down at the carpet forlornly. The woman behind the counter saw his expression and smiled at him sympathetically.

"But we do have a pool," she informed him with a smile. John's head quickly snapped up and he looked up at Amy expectantly.

"Can we go swimming? Pwease?" Amy and Ricky chuckled at his sudden burst of excitement.

"We'll go before we leave," Ricky promised him before turning his attention back to the desk attendant to sign the receipt she had just presented him with. "But first we need to drop off our bags and get some lunch."

"'Kay," John said happily, content to know he would get to go swimming, even if he didn't know when exactly. Ricky was handed two key cards and he thanked the woman with a nod. He silently communicated with Amy that he'd be right back and Amy walked John over to a sofa in the lounge to wait for Ricky to come back.

"Where's daddy going?" he asked as he climbed up onto the sofa unassisted.

"To get our bags," she explained. Ricky returned a few moments later carrying their luggage. Amy rose and took her bag from him, as she already had John's diaper bag over one shoulder. She took John's hand and they made their way to the elevator to go up to their third-floor room.

"Déjà vu?" Ricky asked Amy with a chuckle as the elevator stopped on the third floor.

"What's that mean?" John asked curiously, looking up at his father. Ricky looked down at him as they walked out of the elevator.

"It means that what you're doing feels like you've done it before," Ricky explained. "What we're doing right now feels like déjà vu because mommy and I stayed here, on this floor, a few months ago."

"How long's a month?" Ricky chuckled as he stopped at their room and inserted the key card.

"Thirty days," Ricky answered, pushing open the door and letting Amy and John go in ahead of him.

"Oooooh!" John said excitedly, no longer caring how long a month was when he got his first glimpse of the room. He ran to the window and climbed up in one of the chairs next to it so he could look out. He sat on his knees and pressed his face to the glass as his parents deposited their bags along one wall. "We're so high up!" he declared, looking back over his shoulder at his parents. Amy nodded in agreement.

"I know. Okay, John, time for lunch. Let's go." John scampered down and hurried over to his mother. He took her hand and they made their way back to the elevator to go in search of their lunch. After they reached the lobby Ricky pulled out his marked up map and they made their way to a little diner a couple of blocks from their hotel, John skipping along as his parents held his hand on either side of him. Ricky held open the door for Amy and John and then approached the hostess stand.

"Three?" she asked politely. Ricky nodded and she grabbed two menus and a child's menu and led them to a booth near a window. John promptly climbed onto one of the booths so he could look out the window, causing his parents to chuckle.

"We need to wash our hands first, John," Amy informed him. John crawled back across the booth and slid to the floor, taking his mother's hand. Ricky began browsing through the menu as he waited for Amy and John to return. As Ricky was browsing Grace and Grant were awakened by the voice of their leader.

"Alright everyone, we're here," he announced. Several people yawned and stretched and then the bus was a small flurry of activity as everyone grabbed their bags and slowly began making their way off the bus. Once outside, Grace took a look around at her surroundings. The clinic wasn't very big but it wasn't exactly small either. There was a large house to one side of the clinic and there were a few men and woman dressed in scrubs waiting to greet them as well as a woman and a man each dressed in hospital lab coats. Grace watched as the group's two leaders shook hands with the awaiting doctors.

"Everyone, this is Anya and Derrick," their secondary leader informed them. "They'll be helping us coordinate our efforts with the local medical staff and also acting as the go-to people for you young ladies and men," she informed them. "We'll drop off our luggage and then help get the rest of our gear moved inside." Anya and Derrick led the way to the house and showed the group inside as their small welcoming committee began unloading the supplies they'd brought with them on the bus.

"So the ladies will be staying in the upstairs rooms and the men the downstairs," Anya explained. She motioned towards the stairs and Grace joined the group of female volunteers heading up the stairs. She followed a couple of teen girls to one room and found an empty bed to place her bag on, claiming the bed for herself. She quickly rejoined the others downstairs so they could get to work. Once the entire group had reassembled they headed back to the bus to finish unloading the supplied.

Back in California Amy and John returned from their little trip to the bathroom and John began to color on the coloring mat the hostess had brought over for him when she'd shown them to their table. She had just finished reading the kid's menu when Ricky returned from the bathroom.

"John," Amy said, leaning towards him to ask him what he wanted. "Do you want chicken nuggets, a grilled cheese sandwich or a hamburger?"

"Hamburger!" he said excitedly, causing Ricky to smirk and Amy to smile.

"And do you want apple slices, French fries or grapes?" John thought about his choices for a moment before responding.

"Grapes!"

"And do you want juice, milk or water to drink?"

"Juice!" Having figured out her son's order Amy began to look at her own menu. "Mommy, look!" John suddenly exclaimed, pointing out the window. Amy and Ricky looked in the direction he was pointing and noticed a man juggling at the park a few yards away from the diner.

"That's pretty neat, huh?" Amy asked him with a smile. John nodded but continued watching the juggler, putting down his crayons and rising up onto his knees to get a better look. Their waitress came by a few minutes later.

"Hi. My name's Patty and I'll be your server today. Are you ready to order?" Her voice caught John's attention and he turned around to see who was talking.

"I'll have the bacon cheeseburger and fries," Ricky told her, handing her his menu.

"And I'll have the loaded baked potato," Amy said, also handing Patty her menu.

"And will that be with the soup or side salad?" Patty asked her.

"Side salad, please, with light ranch dressing." Patty nodded and then looked at John with a smile.

"And what would you like cutie pie?"

"I like pie," John informed her with a smile, causing the adults to chuckle.

"You need to eat lunch before you eat dessert, sweetie," Amy reminded him. "Do you wanna tell the nice lady what you want for lunch?" John nodded and then looked at Patty.

"I want a burger with grapes and juice. Please," he added, remembering his manners. Patty wrote down his order and then gave them all a smile.

"I'll be back in a little while." As she left their table John turned to Amy.

"Do they have pie here, mommy?" Amy shrugged.

"I don't know, sweetie. Let's see how full you are after lunch before we worry about dessert, okay?"

"'Kay."

As Amy and Ricky waited for their food Madison and Justin were enjoying themselves as they relaxed by the lake. Mr. Jeffries had led them down to the lake shortly after they had all finished eating and told them they were just going to hang out by the lakeside for a bit until the hottest part of the day passed. Several of the teens had taken off their socks and shoes and were soaking their tired feet in the cool water, Madison and Justin being two of them.

"So how about now?" Justin asked her, wiggling his eyebrows and making Madison laugh.

"Okay, okay. I guess there could be worse ways to spend a Saturday afternoon," she admitted. "But I wanna go on record as saying I don't ever wanna go hiking without food or water. The plants we had to eat weren't **completely** horrible but I'm **definitely** a fan of regular food," she stated, her brows furrowed and her nose scrunched up in disgust at the idea of subsisting on roots and plants. Justin laughed at her expression and then leaned over to kiss her cheek.

"I promise if we ever decided to go for a hike together in the future that I'll bring regular food for us to eat," he assured her with a smile. Madison looked around at her fellow hikers with amusement as a slight breeze ruffled her hair. Some students were skipping rocks; some were sitting in the shade of nearby trees; some were lounging on large rocks, as she and Justin were, soaking up some sunshine; and a couple were actually sketching the scenery. _Maybe this trip won't be so bad after all._

As Madison and Justin enjoyed their afternoon Grace and Grant were getting a little sweaty. _Who knew lugging a few boxes around and stocking some shelves and cabinets would be so tiring_ she thought as she placed several boxes of disposable gloves on a shelf. _Although the heat outside might have something to do with it._ While the clinic had fans and was partially air-conditioned, outside it was hot and humid and every time she went outside to collect more supplies she was nearly bowled over by the humidity and its accompanying dry heat. _I __**definitely**__ need a shower._ Nearly twenty minutes after arriving Anya and Derrick announced it was lunchtime. Grace followed the rest of the tired and sweaty teens the few yards to their lodging for the next week to shower, change and eat. As she stepped into the shower a thought came to Grace wearily: This could be a very long week.


	39. Eye Openers

Grace sat in a chair bottle feeding an infant and smiling down at him. _He's so cute_ she thought with a smile. Her day had started very early and after a hot breakfast, which had helped to wake up and energize her, Grace had been assigned to assist several nurses in the maternity ward that morning and her morning had been **quite** busy. She had assisted nurses by retrieving various supplies when needed, had spent several hours with two other teenage girls scrubbing bedpans and washing bed linens, and had rounded out her morning helping change and feed several babies in the ward, including a couple of newborns. As Grace watched the little boy she was feeding suck down his formula with gusto her mind wandered to Adrian and Ben and Amy and Ricky with a mixture of sadness and curiosity. _I wonder if Amy felt this happy just watching John drink from his bottle. Or did she breastfeed him? _Grace shrugged even though she hadn't spoken aloud and there was no one there who could answer her unspoken question. A bit of sadness crept into her thoughts concerning Adrian and Ben. _They'll never get to experience this with Mercy. _The little boy finished his bottle and Grace set it to the side and shifted him so she could burp him. She smiled when she heard his little gurgle and lowered him so she could wipe away the spit up from his mouth. _Maybe children's medicine is what I should do for a living_ she thought with a smile as she watched the little boy's eyes begin to droop and he fell asleep.

Back in California Amy and Ricky were walking to the dining area to eat breakfast. They led John over to the food and asked him what he wanted. John looked at his choices and pointed to Eggo waffles.

"I want waffles please." Ricky took a paper plate and then lifted the little plastic door in front of the waffles and used the waiting tongs to take two out and place them on the plate. He helped John carry his plate over to the toaster and then popped them in, letting John push down the lever. John watched the toaster anxiously as Amy put a bagel, package of cream cheese and a small bunch of grapes on her own plate. She set it on a table and then grabbed a booster seat for John and put it in the chair next to her as the toaster popped. John flinched, not quite prepared for the popping sound.

"What else do you want for breakfast?" Ricky asked him. John looked around and spotted scrambled eggs in a little warmer and pointed to them.

"Eggs." He and Ricky made their way over to the warming area and Ricky placed a scoop of eggs on his plate.

"Do you want sausage or bacon?"

"Bacon!" Ricky smirked and placed a piece of bacon on John's plate as well before pouring Syrup over his waffles, John's eyes watching the syrup pour out of its container with awe. Ricky helped John carry his plate to the table and then he set it on the table next to Amy so he could lift John up into his booster seat. Amy had already gotten John a little carton of chocolate milk and was opening it as Ricky scooted John's chair in. Amy cut up John's waffles for him while Ricky fixed his own plate and then rejoined his family at their table.

"What we gonna do today?" John asked before taking a bite of his waffles.

"We're gonna go to a petting zoo to see some animals," Amy told him, spreading her cream cheese on her bagel. "And then we're gonna go see a magic show at the park." The little family ate their breakfast in comfortable silence, John busy looking around and people watching as he ate his meal, interested in all the new faces and his new surroundings while his parents were simply enjoying their meal.

As the trio ate their breakfast Madison, Justin and their group of campers were eating a breakfast of oatmeal, sliced fruit, turkey sausage patties and juice.

"How long are gonna hike for today?" one of the girls asked Ms. Norton.

"About half as long as yesterday." The girl groaned.

"But my feet are soooo sore," the girl whined. Ms. Norton chuckled.

"The info packet said to bring thick socks and comfortable hiking shoes, Georgia. You knew this was a hiking trip when you signed up." Georgia pouted and continued eating her breakfast solemnly, causing Ms. Norton to smirk. "But don't worry. The trail we'll be hiking today isn't quite as steep." She saw looks of relieve flit across the faces of several students and she smiled as she took a sip of her juice.

Back in Kenya, Grace and several other teen girls were staying busy, running here and there to assist their adult supervisors, helping to take care of the babies, and making sure their mothers were comfortable. It was a little challenging at times as Grace didn't speak any local dialects so she was thankful for the nurses and her group's adult volunteers who could. As Grace did her level best to stay focused and be an asset to the group's efforts, Amy and Ricky were leaving their hotel to head to a petting zoo located about a block from the park John had spotted yesterday from the diner window. They had opted to walk, either holding John's hand or carrying him, so they wouldn't need to pack his stroller and Amy was glad they'd made that decision when they finally reached the petting zoo. Without having to worry about a stroller she and Ricky would be able to pet the animals with John. Amy had packed a small canvas bag with a middle zipper so she could carry the few personal items she would need, like her wallet and camera, as well as snacks and things for John so she wouldn't need to keep track of her purse. She paid the $2 per person entrance fee and they were each given a bag of treats to feed the animals and each bag had several compartments with different types of treats. John spotted several lambs and ran over to their enclosure. When he reached the fence he tried to climb up it to see the lambs better but Ricky picked him up off the fence.

"Whoa there, buddy. Let's go inside the **right** way. The attendant tried to hide her smile as she shooed the animals away from the gate and then opened it for them, closing it behind them as well. Ricky set John down and the attendant went over to him.

"Do you wanna feed them a treat?" she asked him with a smile. John nodded eagerly. She reached for his hand and he looked back at his parents for permission. They nodded and he took the woman's hand, allowing her to lead him over to one of the little lambs. She opened his correct pouch of his treat bag for him and put a couple in his hand. "Hold your hand out and be very still," she instructed. John did as he was told and the little lamb walked ate the treat. He laughed at the tickling sensation against his palm and then reached out to pet the lamb. He turned towards his parents with a grin on his face.

"He ate it!" he declared excitedly. Ricky smiled at him while Amy snapped a picture with her camera. "Come try, mommy!" he called out, even though his parents weren't that far away. Amy went over to him and squatted down. She had intended to open her own treat bag but John took two treats out of his little baggie and held them out towards her. "You gots ta put it in your hand and hold it out like this." John proceeded to take Amy's hand and pull on it until her arm was outstretched. "Then you gots to be very still," he instructed, unaware his mother wasn't hearing impaired and had heard the attendant's earlier instructions. She silently followed her son's directions and John laughed as another little lamb walked over to Amy and took her offered treats. Amy pet the little lamb and it bleated at her contentedly. John turned his head towards Ricky, who was recording a video of the two of them. "Your turn, daddy!" John called out. Ricky chuckled and walked over to join them, letting John instruct him on how to feed the little lambs as well.

Back in the woods Madison and Justin were hiking side by side as their group made its way along a different trail. Madison looked around at the scenery as they walked along.

"You're awful quiet this morning," Justin remarked, getting Madison's attention. "You okay?" he asked with concern. Madison gave him a small smile for his concern and nodded.

"Yeah. I just realized how different it is up here." Justin lifted an eyebrow in question, not sure what she was getting at, since it was quite obvious the woods would be different from the city. "I just mean that everything seems so much quieter and relaxed up here. There aren't a bunch of distractions and all that. You can just be alone with your thoughts. Or not think at all, you know?" Justin nodded, finally understanding what she was getting at. "It just struck me how busy and bland things are back home, even when I'm just in my room goofing around online," she continued, her gaze now focused on her surroundings. "Sure there are trees and plants around but it's not quite the same as being out in nature like you can up here," she said with a smile.

"Yeah," Justin agreed with a smile. "My family and I go camping at least once during the summer and it's always a nice break from the city." Madison looked at him with surprise for a moment before a little twinkle appeared in her eyes.

"So why'd you wanna come on this trip if you go camping, and probably hiking a little, all the time?" Justin gave her a sheepish grin.

"I figured it would be a nice way to introduce you to camping and hiking and see if maybe we could do it every once in a while, kinda like how we go to karaoke night once a month." He shrugged and adjusted his backpack. "I kinda hoped it could be something else we could do together." Madison gave him a smile.

"Well it's only been two days and, like you said, it's not camping camping. Let's see how the rest of this week goes." Justin gave her a grin and then turned his head to look back at the trail, the grin still in place. _Well it wasn't a 'no'_ he thought happily as Ms. Norton called the group to a halt to examine several plants.

As the hikers gathered around to take notes on their chaperone's short discussion, Amy and Ricky were enjoying the looks, squeals and laughter of delight their two year old was emitting as he petted and fed goats, rabbits, ducks, a miniature horse, pigs, calves, and chickens; John was having a blast. Amy knew they'd smell like a farm when they went to the magic show but her son was having fun and that was all that mattered. As they neared the end of the little zoo Ricky put an arm around her waist and she leaned her head against his shoulder as the attendant for the chicken coop showed John how to scatter the chicken feed in the last compartment of his treat baggie and they laughed when John squealed excitedly as he watched the chickens scurry over to eat up the seed. Once the feed was all eaten up the attendant led John back over to his parents.

"Time to go, John," Amy said, taking his little hand. John turned to smile at the attendant.

"Thank you." Amy and Ricky smiled down at him proudly. At their first two enclosures Amy had reminded John to thank the attendant at each for helping them and after that John had said 'thank you' without being prompted. The attendant smiled back at him.

"You're very welcome." Amy and Ricky offered the man their thanks and then made their way back towards the front entrance where they disposed of their empty treat baggies in the trash and used antibacterial sanitizer to clean their hands.

"That was fun, mommy," John said with a smile, looking up at his mother.

"I'm glad you liked it."

"You ready for a magic show?" Ricky asked. John nodded and began skipping along as his mother held his hand. He had no idea what a magic show was but if it was as fun as playing with the animals then he was excited about it. When they reached the small stage in the park where the magic show was to be held, Amy found John a child's seat near the front so he could see and then she and Ricky took a seat on the benches for the adults, making sure they had a clear line of sight to their son. John waited anxiously, swinging his little legs back and forth as he waited to see what was behind the blue curtain in front of him. Five minutes passed and several more children and their parents filled the little spectator area before a man came out from behind the curtain. Several children cheered and John joined in, the parents clapping politely.

"Good morning boys and girls," the magician said, his assistant remaining off to the side but smiling at the little crowd. "Are you ready to see some magic?" he asked, giving the kids a look that conveyed he had a surprise for them.

"Yeah!" the kids cheered. The magician smiled and began his act, the children enraptured, several even leaning forward slightly in their eagerness to make sure they didn't miss anything. Amy and Ricky glanced at each other at the same time, smiles on their faces.

"This was a good idea," she told him. He knew she was referring to the trip in general and not just the magic show they were currently at. He kissed her temple and they turned their attention back to the show and their son.

In Kenya Grace plopped herself down in a chair in the break area with a sigh, wiping the moisture from her brow with her arm. She drank deeply from her cup of water as Grant pulled out a chair next to her and lowered himself to it with a sigh. Grace looked at him with a smirk.

"Busy morning?" Grant looked at her, saw her smirk and the twinkle in her eye and laughed.

"You could say that. You?"

"Same," she replied, a small smile still on her face.

"It's a lot different than I thought it'd be," he said, suddenly serious. Grace tilted her head to the side as she considered her boyfriend's solemn expression.

"What do you mean?" she asked curiously.

"I mean I expected it to be a lot of work, what with us being in a third-world country and all, but the people here are just so..." He paused as he tried to think of the right word. "**Grateful**," he finally concluded. "Even though they don't have a lot, and the medical help we're giving them isn't exactly what we're used to back home, they're still grateful for our help. And they seem so content with the little they have, **and** they're willing to share it with you." Grant shifted in his seat so he was facing Grace more and continued speaking, his voice laced with surprise and awe. "I was filling a bucket of water at the pump outside to take inside and sterilize and I stopped to wipe my brow. This woman who was just passing by stopped and dipped this little cup, at least it looked like a cup, into the bucket of water she had on her head and offered it to me, no questions asked. She just saw that I was sweating and offered me some water." Grant paused to take a drink from the cup of water in front of him. "You don't see that kind of generosity everyday back home." Grace nodded in agreement.

"I know what you mean. I was sweeping the floor in one of the maternity ward rooms and this new mother told me thank you." Grant gave Grace a curious look.

"How'd you know she said thank you?" he asked curiously and Grace chuckled.

"After a while of the nurses interpreting things for us I started to pick up on a few phrases that kept being said and one of them was thank you," she told him. "It's like the people here just appreciate life and intend to make the most of every moment of it they have." She shook her head in disbelief. "It just made me realize how wasteful and spoiled I really am. I thank God for the things I **do** have but the people here have shown me that maybe I don't have a good a grasp on the concept of thankfulness and contentment that I should." Grant nodded.

"Even though we've only been here about a day and a half I'm starting to question my views on God too." Grace perked up at his statement and Grant could see a bit of excitement creeping into her eyes. He chuckled before he spoke again. "Don't get your hopes up; I'm still not ready to go all in. It's just that you've shown me that bad things can happen to good people, right?" Grace nodded. "Well the people in this area don't have much and yet they don't sit around blaming God or wondering why their life is the way it is. I don't know if it's **because** they believe in God, or whatever higher power the locals believe in, but someone or something's helping these people stay positive despite their circumstances so maybe there really **is** some higher being running things and giving people what they need." Grace smiled at Grant's realization and leaned over to kiss his cheek, not caring that she was a little sweaty and probably smelled a little like baby spit up. "What was that for?" he asked, giving her a confused expression.

"For just being open to the possibilities," she said with a smile, lifting her cup to take another drink of her water. _Lord, thank you for giving us this opportunity to see things differently, and for arousing Grant's curiosity_ she silently prayed as she smiled into her cup. Back in California Ricky was carrying his chatty son as he and Amy made their way back to their hotel so John could nap.

"Did you see when the wabbit came outta his hat, daddy? That was so cool!" John recounted excitedly. "How he do that, daddy?" Ricky smirked.

"Magic," Ricky said simply.

"I think magic's cool," John stated decisively. "What are we gonna do next?" he asked.

"We're gonna go back to our room and get cleaned up so we don't smell like animals all day and then we're gonna go eat lunch."

"Can we go back to the hamburger place?" John asked excitedly. Amy smiled at John's excitement about a place he'd been to for the first time the day before.

"Not today, buddy. We're gonna eat lunch in our room instead. Remember how we went to the little market and bought food yesterday?" John nodded. "Well we're gonna eat some of that food today for lunch and dinner. They reached the hotel and made their way to their room. Amy rummaged in John's bag for his bath supplies and a change of clothes while Ricky set John down and then checked his phone. John joined Amy in the bathroom when he heard her turn on the tub and Ricky joined them a moment later to wash his hands more thoroughly. Ricky smiled as he listened to John recount parts of the magic show to Amy while he officially unpacked his bag and placed his clothes for the week in one of the drawers. He placed his toiletry bag on the desk and then began unpacking John's clothes and placing them in the drawer next to his own.

"Hey, Amy?" he called out towards the bathroom.

"Yeah?" she answered back.

"What me to unpack your bag for you?"

"Sure." Ricky reached for her bag as Amy continued bathing their son. He placed her clothes in another drawer and smirked when he saw her underwear. He knew Amy could be very practical so he was a little amused to see that her underwear had some lace in it. It wasn't Victoria Secret underwear but it wasn't exactly plain Jane-style underwear either. _Who knew my angel liked sexy underwear_. He began to imagine what Amy would look like wearing the undergarments when he heard the sound of water swirling down the tub drain. He quickly put her undergarments in the drawer next to her clothes and closed it, not wanting to have to explain why he was staring at her underwear. "John, you can't run around naked," he heard Amy chastise their son and he pulled out the little box of chicken nuggets from the fridge freezer they'd gotten for John. He heard the sounds of clothes being put on as he put several nuggets on a paper plate and popped it into their room's microwave. John came scampering out of the bathroom several moments later fresh and clean. He scurried over to Ricky and put his hands on the edge of the desk and stood on his tippy toes to see what this father was doing.

"Whatcha doin', daddy?"

"Cutting up an apple for you," Ricky replied, not bothering to look over at his son. John climbed up onto one of the beds as Amy came out of the bathroom, carrying John's toiletries and dirty clothes. Ricky glanced over at her. "You can shower first. I'm almost done getting his lunch together." Amy nodded and dropped John's clothes on the floor near his now empty little overnight suitcase. "Your clothes are in the top drawer," he told her, placing several apple slices next to John's nuggets. Amy grabbed her toiletry bag from the desk where Ricky had put it and then opened the top drawer to take out a change of clothes. She blushed when she realized that Ricky had seen her underwear as he put her things away but he had his back turned to her, handing John his plate of food, and hadn't seen her reaction. She quickly took out a clean bra and pair of panties and headed into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. _How embarrassing_ she thought a she turned on the shower and adjusted the temperature before stripping and stepping under the spray.

Ricky had turned on the TV and found a program suitable for John to watch before fixing himself and Amy some lunch. He had just finished when she emerged from the bathroom. Ricky gathered his clean clothes and headed into the bathroom to take his own shower as Amy took one of the plates Ricky had prepared and joined John on the bed.

"I'm watchin' SpongeBob, mommy," he informed her, happily munching on his apple slices. Amy smiled and leaned over to kiss his forehead.

Amy was halfway through her lunch when Ricky emerged from the bathroom and she was still too embarrassed that he'd seen her underwear to look him in the eye. John finished his lunch and handed his empty plate and juice box to Amy. She rose from the bed and put them in the trashcan as Ricky sat on the other bed and began to eat his lunch. When Amy sat back down on the bed John crawled into her lap and made himself comfortable, causing Amy to chuckle. She happily wrapped her arms around him and let him finish watching the SpongeBob episode. When it went off she picked up the remote and turned the TV off. John titled his head back to look up at her expectantly, wondering why she'd just turned the TV off. Amy looked down at him with a soft smile.

"Nap time." John pouted.

"But…" Amy cut him off by shaking her head.

"No buts, mister," she said gently but firmly, letting John know arguing wouldn't do him any good. "Do you want a story first?" John's demeanor brightened and he nodded his head.

"Yes, please." Amy lifted him off her lap and went over to his overnight bag to take one of his story books out of a zippered pocket. She sat back down on the bed near the pillows and John crawled up the bed towards her. Amy took off his socks and bottoms and then lifted the covers so he could crawl under them. Once he was settled Amy began to read him the story as Ricky continued eating his lunch, smiling at the two of them as he chewed. He may not have wanted to take a nap but his body had other plans and by the time Amy was halfway through the story John was fast asleep. Amy set the book on the nightstand and tucked him in more snugly. She kissed his forehead and then rose to put his book back in his bag. She took a seat in one of the chairs next to the table by the window and checked her phone. Ricky's brows furrowed with curiosity as to why Amy had chosen to go practically across the room to check her phone instead of sitting back on the bed. He finished his lunch and threw away his trash before joining her at the table. Amy glanced up slightly startled and then blushed before looking back at her phone.

"What's wrong?" he whispered, not beating around the bush. Amy pursed her lips and shook her head but Ricky wasn't buying it. "Amy, you haven't looked at me once since I came outta the bathroom. I know something's on your mind so what is it?" Amy's blush made him even more curious. She looked up at him shyly from beneath her eyelashes.

"You say my underwear," she whispered back. A grin lit up Ricky's face and Amy lowered her eyes out of embarrassment. "It skipped my mind that you'd see my underwear when you put my clothes in the drawer." Ricky chuckled softly.

"You know I'll see your underwear a lot more when we get married, right?" he continued in a whisper, his voice laced with amusement. Amy blushed a deeper shade of red and Ricky had to bite his lip to keep from laughing and waking up John. _Still so innocent._ He decided to give her a break. "Any news from home?" Amy shook her head.

"Not really. Ash is hanging with Toby and mom and dad both said they miss me and John. What about you?"

"Nora just said she's bored and can't wait to see our pictures and my parents said they hope we're having a good time." Amy flipped her hair back and gave him a smile.

"It **has** been fun so far," she admitted, looking over at their sleeping son. "He's having so much fun and it hasn't been as hard as I thought it would."

"What do you mean?" Ricky asked curiously.

"Well this is the first time we've really had John all on our own for over twenty-four hours and between the two of us I think we're managing just fine." Ricky nodded in understanding and then glanced over at John with a smile.

"That's because we've got one great kid." He looked back at Amy and they shared a smile for a brief moment before Amy's expression became sad. "What?" he asked with concern.

"I was just thinking about Adrian and Ben."

"What about them?" Amy gave him a pointed look. "Besides that."

"Part of me wonders how they're doing but part of me's afraid to ask them."

"Why?" Amy worried her bottom lip nervously for a moment.

"I'm afraid if I ask Adrian how she's doing she'll lash out at me like she has in the past and either try to pin what happened entirely on me or try to throw teenage motherhood in my face somehow to tear me down or something." Amy sighed and slouched in her chair a little. "I know she's hurting right now and maybe she changed for the better during her pregnancy but I'm not entirely sure deep down she's not the same kinda person she was before and I don't wanna get tangled up with her again." Ricky reached across the table and took her hand in his.

"I don't know if she has or hasn't changed since I haven't had any contact with her since just after school started, but I'm in your corner if anything goes down or backfires," he assured her with a smile.

"Do you know how much I love you?" she asked him with a smile. He nodded and gave her a smirk.

"Yeah, but I wouldn't mind a reminder every now and then," he replied, wiggling his eyebrows. Amy chuckled softly and rose to walk over to him. She sat in his lap and gave him a kiss as he gladly wrapped his arms around her waist.

"I love you," she repeated.

"I love you too," he said with a smile as he gazed at her for a moment. He gave her another smirk and Amy's expression became worried at his sudden change of attitude. "Can I ask you something?" Amy gave him a calculated look.

"What?" she asked warily.

"Does **all** of your underwear have lace?" Amy blushed profusely and covered her face in her hands. She felt the tremors of Ricky's chuckle and peeked at him from between her fingers.

"Can't you just forget you even saw it?" she asked, her voice slightly muffled by her hands. Ricky shook his head, still smirking at her.

"Nope. Because now I'm imagining you **in** it." Amy's hands dropped to her lap and her eyes got wide with shock. She quickly glanced over at the bed to make sure John was still sleeping and then swiveled her head back to look at her boyfriend incredulously, feeling slightly annoyed when she saw that he was still smirking at her. He didn't look the slightest bit abashed by her gaze. "A, you already know I'm physically attracted to you; B, you know we're getting married someday; C, it's your own fault for accidentally giving me fuel for my imagination; and D, I'd never suggest we fool around with our son asleep in the same room so there's no sense looking at me like that," he defended himself, the smirk still on his face. Amy groaned and covered her face again.

"Just promise me you won't mention any of this to my parents, or anyone else for that matter." Ricky pulled her hands away from her face so he could kiss her lips.

"Deal. And you still haven't answered my question." Amy couldn't believe he actually wanted an answer. She sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Only some of it," she admitted.

"And the rest?" he pressed.

"It's more…practical," she stated, not bothering to explain.

"Good to know." Amy shook her head at her boyfriend's fascination with her underwear. "So nap time?" Amy nodded and rose from Ricky's lap to bolt their room door while Ricky got comfortable on the other bed. Amy began walking over to John to join him when Ricky's voice stopped her. "Care to join me?" Amy hesitated for a moment, their recent conversation replaying in her mind. Ricky saw that she was dealing with some sort of internal struggle and gave her a smile. "I promise to behave." Amy smiled back at him and then laid down beside him. Ricky promptly wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close until they were snuggly spooned together. Amy closed her eyes, a smile on her face, as she let the warmth of her boyfriend's body help her fall asleep. As Amy and Ricky began to doze, Grace was sitting in a lounge on her lunch break and video chatting with Adrian.

"So how's everything back home?" Grace asked. Adrian shrugged.

"Nothin' new. How's it going for you?" Grace's face lit up with excitement as she thought about her day so far.

"It's great! It's a lot of work and can get a little tiring but it's the most amazing thing I've ever been a part of!" Adrian chuckled at her best friend's enthusiasm.

"So what have you been up to today?"

"I was assigned to help in the maternity ward here today. At first it was a lot of grunt work, just fetching supplies for the nurses, scrubbing bedpans, washing bed sheets and stuff, but then we got to actually help with the babies!" A moment later Grace's eyes widened in shock as she realized what she'd just said and she tried to backpedal. "Oh, Adrian, I'm sorry! I didn't mean…"

"It's okay, Grace," Adrian assured her, her voice sounding tired. "People aren't gonna just stop having babies because my daughter was stillborn." Grace could hear the note of sadness in Adrian's voice but wasn't sure what to say to comfort her best friend. "In fact I'm tired of people going out of their way to **not** say the word baby around me; it makes me feel like I'm being pitied or something and that's not the nicest feeling," she explained, a note of irritation creeping into her voice now. Adrian snapped out of her irritation and noticed that Grace seemed to be unsure of what to say next. "So what was it like, helping with the babies?" Grace licked her lips and cleared her throat.

"Well. It was nice. It felt good to be helping the new moms so they could sleep and helping feed and change them made me realize that children's medicine just might be my future field of expertise."

"So you're gonna give up on sports medicine?" Adrian asked curiously.

"I only decided to focus on sports medicine so I would be able to use my profession to help Jack stay a healthy and fit football player." Grace chuckled. "Deciding what you're gonna do for the rest of your life based on how it can help your boyfriend probably isn't the **best** way to plan your future." Adrian considered Grace's statement and laughed along with her.

"Yeah. I guess planning your future around a guy isn't the best idea. Especially when you break up with that particular guy." _Man it feels good to laugh and smile._ "So besides the clinic how's everything else? You and Grant still going strong?" Grace nodded eagerly, grabbing Adrian's attention.

"In a big way! So we were taking our morning break and started talking about how different the people here are, how they're just so much more grateful for what little they have and how willing they are to share with you. It made me realize just how wasteful I am and Grant and I agree that we take a lot of things for granted." Grace's normal upbeat demeanor became more cheerful and she started to fidget in her chair. "And you wanna know the best part?"

"What?"

"Grant said seeing things from a different perspective helped open his mind more to the possibility that God's truly at work in the world!" Grace squealed happily. Adrian couldn't help but laugh at Grace's enthusiasm.

"I know how important that is to you, Grace, so I'm glad for you," Adrian told her sincerely.

"Thanks, Adrian. So enough about me. How are you doing? And I mean really," Grace said seriously. Adrian tilted her head from side to side as she considered how to answer.

"It **feels** like I'm getting a little better each day," she admitted. "I'm still going for walks twice a day and the baby weight's slowly coming off and looking better's helping me feel better about myself too." Adrian sighed and pushed some of her hair out of her eyes. "I feel ready to go back to school after spring break but I'm still not one-hundred percent sure I'll be ready to face Amy and Ricky."

"Have you spoken to either one of 'em since it happened?" Adrian shook her head.

"No, and neither of them have spoken to me, not that I can really blame them," she said with remorse. "After the way I treated both of them and the things I tried to do, I wouldn't wanna talk to me unless I got a sincere apology either. Problem is I'm not sure exactly **what** to say." Grace gave her a sympathetic look.

"I'm sure the right words will come to you before the end of spring break. And if not I'm sure they'll come to you exactly when you need them." Someone in the background called Grace and told her the lunch break was almost over. "I've got to go, Adrian. I'll keep you in my prayers." Adrian gave her best friend a lopsided smile.

"Thanks, Grace."

"Talk to you later."

"Okay. Later." Grace ended the chat and rose from her chair. _Lord, give Adrian the words she seeks and peace of mind over coming back to school_.

In the woods Madison was sitting next to Justin at the dining table in their cabin as they ate their lunch. They had hiked all morning and returned to their cabin for a late lunch and the students were eating their lunches and chatting amicably. Even Georgia was in a pretty good mood, no longer whining about her sore feet now that they were back and the students had been told they could have the afternoon off to just hang out; it **was** the weekend after all. Madison sighed happily as she took a bite of her hotdog. Justin chuckled.

"Is it good?" he asked with amusement. Madison smirked at him.

"Yes, but that wasn't why I was sighing."

"Okay. Then why **were** you?"

"Because this is nice, being away from the city and all the stuff we have in our houses. I mean, sure I'm probably missing a couple good movies and some TV shows while we're here but it's nice not to have any distractions, to not have anything you need or have to do except enjoy your surroundings," she explained, taking another bite of her hotdog. _Maybe I'm just too busy at home to stop and smell the roses. Well, there's no roses out __**here**__ exactly but the point is I should find a way to slow down more on the weekends every once in a while._ She glanced over at Justin and found him chatting with a boy named Mike who was sitting to his left. _This was a pretty good way to spend spring break. Brownie points to you_ she thought silently, smiling to herself as she continued eating her lunch. _Maybe trying new things isn't always such a bad idea._


	40. Healing The Wounds

The bell above the butcher shop door chimed and Ben looked up to see a woman walk into the shop holding the hand of her daughter, who looked like a miniature version of her mother, right down to her little blue sundress. The woman approached the counter with a smile and Ben smiled back politely.

"Hello. What can I do for you today?" The woman handed him a coupon and Ben looked at it. The shop was having a sale and Ben saw that the woman's coupon was for two pepperoni logs.

"We're gonna make pizza!" the little girl told him cheerfully. Ben smiled down at her briefly before retrieving two logs from the display case and ringing them up. "Me and mommy are gonna make it and surprise daddy when he gets home from work," the little said with a giggle and a twinkle in her eye, as though she thought she were revealing a treasured secret. Her mother smiled down at her and then turned her attention back to Ben to pay for her purchase. Ben placed her logs in a paper bag and handed them to her.

"Will that be all for you today?"

"Yes, thank you," the woman replied, stowing her wallet back in her purse and then taking the bag Ben held out to her with a smile. She took her daughter's little hand once more and turned to leave. The little girl glanced over her shoulder and waved at Ben.

"Bye mister!" she called out cheerfully. Ben couldn't help but smile at the little girl as he watched her and her mother leave, the little girl practically bouncing along beside her mother. Ben's smile became sad as his thoughts turned to Mercy_. I wonder if Mercy would've been as cheerful as that little girl._ He glanced down and saw that two of the display trays were low so he headed to the coolers to get more meat to refill them with. _That could've been Adrian in a few years. Just out running errands with Mercy in tow._ Ben thought about the journey he'd been on to learn to cope with Mercy's death over the past couple of months. While he still had what-if moments from time to time, such as when he saw a little girl out and about with one of her parents, he was slowly but surely starting to feel normal again. A smirk crossed his face briefly as he thought about his two best friends. _I don't know how I would've gotten through this without them._ While talking to Dr. Timmons and with his father and step-mom had helped, just hanging out like any other teenager with his two best friends had been a big part of helping him face and deal with his grief. As he refilled the trays his mind wandered to Adrian. He knew she was still struggling, evidenced by the fact she hadn't returned to school yet. He wanted to figure out how to help her but he also didn't wanna push her if she wasn't ready. With the end of spring break coming up quickly, Ben wanted to find a way to give Adrian the courage to come back to school and finish her senior year; she'd come too far not to graduate.

Ben's quest to figure out how to help Adrian plagued him for the remainder of his shift and by the time he clocked out he'd only come to one conclusion: he'd have to talk to her and find out why she felt she wasn't ready to come back to school. As he drove home to shower and change he couldn't come up with a single segue into how to bring up this particular topic without sounding like he was trying to push or pressure her to be okay and go on with her life as if everything were okay. He sent her a short text with a sigh before heading back out to his car to drive over to her house.

When he arrived he simply sat in her driveway for several moments and took deep breaths. _Here goes nothing._ He slowly made his way to her front door and rang the doorbell. Cindy answered the door and greeted him with a small smile, which he returned.

"Hi, Ben. Come on in." She took a step back to he could enter and then shut the door behind him. "Adrian's in her room." Ben nodded and then headed towards the stairs, his nervousness growing with each step he took. When he finally reached the top of the stairs he found her bedroom door open. He stuck his head in and saw that the room was empty so he walked to the room next to it, Mercy's nursery. He found Adrian sitting in the rocking chair starring off into space and Ben felt his resolve slipping. He gently tapped on the doorframe and Adrian turned towards the sound, giving him a sad smile when she saw Ben standing there.

"Can I come in?" he asked. Adrian nodded and Ben walked over to her, sitting on the floor near the chair.

"Hi." Ben chuckled softly.

"Hi." They sat in silence for a couple of minutes before Adrian spoke again.

"So what's up?" she asked, attempting to sound curious and more upbeat, even though Ben knew her well enough to hear the subtle undertones of sadness in her voice.

"I wanna talk to you. About Mercy," he explained, his voice calm and gentle as he looked up at her from where he was sitting on the floor. Confusion flitted across Adrian's face. "Specifically how you're doing, and I mean **really** doing." Adrian took a deep breath and let it out slowly as she broke eye contact with Ben to stare straight ahead.

"I have good days and bad days," she admitted. Ben nodded in understanding, letting her know that he knew what she meant.

"Is that why you haven't come back to school yet?" Adrian quickly glanced over at him before looking straight ahead again, unsure if she wanted to let him know just how emotionally weak she still was.

"It's part of it," she hedged, hoping he wouldn't press her for more. No such luck.

"Adrian, while there's no way for me to know **exactly** what's going through your mind since I didn't carry Mercy inside me, I get that this whole experience has changed you, in ways other people couldn't **possibly** understand." Adrian made eye contact with him once more. "I also know that you can't just crawl under a rock and hide from the rest of the world. Not that I think you're hiding per se. All I'm saying is that we'll never get over losing our daughter. That's no reason for you not to finish high school." Realization came over Adrian and her heart melted just a little bit as she realized Ben's true reason for coming over tonight. She chuckled softly and Ben looked at her with concern, not seeing anything remotely amusing about their current conversation. "What?"

"Don't worry, Benny, I have no plans to drop out of school." She sighed and leaned back in the chair so she could begin rocking. "If I tell you something you promise not to laugh or judge me, too much?"

"Of course," Ben assured her.

"The reason I haven't felt ready to go back is because of Amy and Ricky. And not for the reasons you might think," she quickly added, not giving Ben time to interrupt and attempt to reassure her.

"Ok. Then what **are** the reasons?" he asked, genuinely curious now. Adrian licked her lips and swallowed a lump in her throat.

"Guilt."

"Guilt?" Ben parroted back, now totally confused. What on earth could Adrian have to feel guilty about? Adrian sighed and looked down at Ben.

"You remember how much I picked at Amy when she was pregnant, and right after John was born?" Ben nodded, his brows slightly furrowed as he was still trying to work out for himself what Adrian could possibly be feeling guilty about. "Well, I don't know if you know, but I basically used sex to try and keep Ricky away from her and…" she paused to bite her lip nervously, knowing how deeply Ben cared for Amy back then. "I **might've** implied to her that Ricky and I would make a better family for raising John." She waited nervously for Ben's reaction. Her heartbeat sped up as she watched shock and anger wash over his face before confusion returned to replace it. Ben sighed before he spoke.

"Well at least now I get why Amy's reluctant to talk to you but not why you feel too guilty to come back to school."

"Wait, what makes you think Amy's reluctant to talk to me?" she asked curiously.

"I asked Ricky about it at work a little while ago and he said Amy was having a hard time figuring out if she should talk to you and what she'd say if she decided to." Adrian's demeanor softened as the implication of Ben's words tugged at her heartstrings.

"You asked Ricky to ask Amy to talk to me?" she asked, her voice sounding awed.

"Kinda sorta I guess."

"What's **that** supposed to mean?" she asked, her awe replaced by confusion.

"Well, you know how Grace told us she'd told Amy so she could ask her to talk to you?" Adrian nodded. "Well, Nora congratulated me on us having Mercy and I had to set her straight. Then I asked her what made her think we'd had Mercy and I told her I knew Ricky knew and figured he would've told her, but he hadn't. So I asked him if he had told anybody and we kinda circled around to whether or not Amy was gonna talk to you." Adrian blinked a couple of times as she attempted to process Ben's words. Her eyes got bigger when she realized something.

"Wait, so if Amy knows then that means her family and two best friends know too, right!?" Ben nodded and Adrian groaned.

"What?" he asked, his voice sounding a little worried.

"All this time I was so focused on making sure I could deal with the **usual** taunts I get from people and trying to stand seeing Amy and Ricky again." Her frustration turned to worry and her voice wavered as she continued speaking. "It never occurred to me the whole **school** might be talking about how I lost our baby." Ben reached up and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze.

"I don't think anyone at school knows what happened." Adrian looked at him unconvinced. "When I talked to Ricky about it he admitted Amy had told Madison and Lauren but they hadn't told anyone." Adrian scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"Those two couldn't keep a secret if their lives depended on it. It's how the whole school found out she was having Ricky's baby."

"Ricky told me they didn't even tell their boyfriends when they saw that the girls were obviously upset about something so I'm gonna think positive and go with the belief no one knows except our friends and Amy and her friends. And family."

"Why'd she have to tell anyone anyway?" she asked with a groan as she looked back up at the ceiling.

"Well. Ricky told me he was with Amy when Grace called and her dad and Ashley saw them later on and saw they were upset so Amy explained why. And naturally they'd tell her mom too since she would've noticed everyone was upset about something eventually."

"Okay, but then why tell her two besties?" Ben shrugged.

"When you're upset it's only natural to wanna confide in your best friends. Especially since they of all people will be able to tell you're upset about something and keeping it from them." Adrian sighed with defeat as she realized Ben had a point. Besides, there wasn't anything she could do about it now. "And we kinda got off on a tangent here, Adrian." Adrian looked back down at him.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you were explaining to me why you felt too guilty towards Amy and Ricky to come back to school." Adrian mentally rewound their conversation to try and remember where they'd gone off on a tangent and then nodded, letting Ben know she was ready to finish that conversation, and then sighed.

"Being pregnant showed me how much I'd misjudged Amy. Even though she was considering adoption before Grace got her that job and everything, I never really understood what it must've been like for a teenager to have to take charge of an unborn baby's life and I sorta came to respect her for what she'd gone through, you know? And then when we lost Mercy…" Adrian paused to sniffle and reign in her emotions. "All these what-ifs started running through my head and eventually I just felt so guilty about the way I'd treated Amy and Ricky."

"That's what I don't get, Adrian. So you made some poor decisions in the past. What does that have to do with how you're coping with the loss of our daughter?"

"Don't you get it yet, Ben!? I tried to keep Ricky away from his son because I wanted him to give me his time and attention and to Amy! I basically tried to separate him from his son but God took Mercy away from you. Even though I know it's not my fault we lost her, I'm still basically the reason you're now separated from your daughter. No father deserves that and I feel guilty for trying to take John away from Ricky, so to speak. And then there were my digs to Amy that I'd be a better mother for John since I was with his father. My baby was taken from me, for no reason, and I feel guilty for trying to take Amy's baby away from her simply because I was jealous that she would always have a link to Ricky through John. She loves John just like I love Mercy and no mother should have to worry about having her baby taken away for no reason. There's no possible way to say sorry to either one of them for what I tried to do to them. Now that what I tried to do has happened to me, I just feel so guilty and ashamed of myself." She slumped in the rocking chair, defeat and guilt radiating off of her. "I owe then the world's biggest apology and 'sorry' is just so beyond inadequate that I don't know if I can face either one of them again without feeling overcome by guilt and dissolving into tears," she admitted, tears beginning to fall down her cheeks. "I'm used to people gossiping and bad mouthing me so I've been mentally preparing myself for that but when it comes to facing Amy and Ricky…" She paused for a moment and Ben respectfully remained silent. "I just don't know what to say to them." Ben gave her hand another reassuring squeeze.

"I think telling them what you just told me is a good place to start." Adrian looked at him curiously, wondering how that would even begin to make amends for her past actions and attitude. Ben saw her expression and gave her a small smile. "Adrian, Ricky and Amy are the only peers we have who've gone through a teenage pregnancy and had to deal with all the fears and anxiety that come with impending parenthood, right?" Adrian nodded. "If you explain to them that you have a new perspective on their situation and are truly sorry for the way you acted, towards both of them, in the past, it might just be the first step to mending fences, so to speak. I don't know if the four of us will ever be best friends," he continued with a shrug. "But it's a start to not being enemies anymore." Adrian looked at Ben thoughtfully for a moment, considering his suggestion. A moment later she gave him a genuine smile and Ben saw a twinkle of amusement in her eyes.

"When'd you become so wise?" she asked him with amusement. Ben smiled back.

"Oh I've been through a couple of tough situations in my lifetime, and apparently picked up a few things along the way." He gave her a wink. "Although I've gotten some help along the way from good friends, family and a rather insightful therapist." They shared a laugh and didn't notice Cindy as she walked past the room headed towards her bedroom. She quickly poked her head in and smiled as she saw Adrian and Ben in their own little world, sharing a good laugh and genuine smiles. Cindy smiled to herself as she continued towards her bedroom. _Thank you, Lord. Together the two of them can help each other put one foot in front of the other._ Her smile faltered slightly as she realized something. _Please don't let Adrian get sidetracked when she goes back to school._

Next door at the Juergens residence George and Anne were sitting at the kitchen table going over and paying bills while Ashley and Toby entertained Robbie upstairs in his bedroom. Anne's laptop was open in front of them and George was paying the internet/cable/phone bill and the cellphone bill. When he finished he put checkmarks next to them on a little laminated sheet he and Anne had compiled of their monthly expenses and due dates.

"Media bills paid," he announced. Anne nodded and then grabbed her checkbook to balance it now that her share of those bills had been paid. "Since the money's already there do you wanna go ahead and pay the home owner's insurance now, or wait 'til closer to the end of the month?" Anne suddenly started laughing and George looked at her questioningly, not understanding how his question could've struck Anne as being funny. Anne looked up at him and saw his confused expression and got her laughter under control.

"Sorry. It's just that this is the first time in a long time I've felt like we were a married couple." George still looked confused. "I know we're technically divorced but, George, we never really did this before, sat down, together and paid bills. Sure I knew what our bills were but you usually took care of everything." George looked down at the table sheepishly and Anne reached over to place a hand over his where it was currently resting on the table. Her gentle gesture caused George to look over at her and his sheepishness faded when he saw her smile. "It's nice to do things as a team. Even if it's just paying bills." George gave her a smile back and then placed his other hand over Anne's.

"It is," he admitted. "Hey, Anne?"

"Hmmm?" He didn't respond right away but licked his lips nervously instead. Anne knew where the conversation was about to go and leaned over to kiss his cheek, causing George to smile brightly.

"This is a big step in that direction, George," she told him gently. "Yes, we've become true friends again and yes, I'm falling a little deeper in love with you each day." George's grin got a little bigger and Anne chuckled. "However, given the way our marriage panned out the first time we've gotta have a few more serious conversations before I'll know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, we'll make it the second time around."

"Conversations about what?" he asked curiously. Anne gestured to the bills and their checkbooks on the table in front of them.

"Conversations like this. We sat down, as a couple, and came up with a system for paying our family's bills. We made a list and set aside a time to do this together. Remember how I told you I felt like I wasn't a part of your life when it came to certain things?" George nodded. "Well, if we can sit down and talk about everything that we believe went wrong with our marriage and come up with ways to fix them that we can both agree with," she paused to give him a loving smile. "Then I believe we can make it work the second time around. You with me?"

"I'm with you, Anne." George nodded and gave her a tender smile of his own. They released hands so they could finish paying their bills. _Maybe time does heal all wounds_ George thought with a smile as he reached for his checkbook to deduct his half of their health insurance premium. _And I've got nothing' but time._


	41. Magic Eight Balls

Jack and Jesse were in Jack's living room floor sitting on his sofa and playing a racing game on his Xbox, two opened cans of soda, a bowl of chips and two half eaten sandwiches on the coffee table in front of them.

"You ever have a magic eight ball when you were younger," Jack asked, his gaze fixed to the TV.

"Yeah. Why?" Jesse responded, his gaze likewise glued to the TV.

"You ever wish they really worked?"

"What do you mean?" They finished their current level so Jesse took a moment to take a sip from his soda.

"I mean do you ever wish you really **could** figure out the answer to all life's question with it?" Jesse shrugged and began playing the next level when it loaded.

"Never really thought about it. Why?" Jack sighed but continued facing forward.

"'Cause I have no clue what I'm doing for the rest of my life." Jesse chuckled as he maneuvered his car around Jack's and passed him.

"So you're not gonna accept the football scholarship?"

"No, I am, I just have no idea what I'm gonna be studying for the next four years."

"Aren't we supposed to figure out what we wanna study **while** we're at college?" Jesse asked sarcastically. Jack snorted to express his irritation at his friend's lack of sympathy.

"Maybe. But most people have an idea of what they wanna do for the rest of their lives when they start. Me? I don't have a clue."

"Well what are you interested in? Besides football and sex," he added, glancing over at Jack briefly with a smirk before turning his attention back to their video game. Jack glared at him in response before likewise turning his gaze back to the TV in front of them.

"I don't know," he admitted forlornly. "When I was with Grace the plan was to just play football 'til she finished med school then get married and live happily ever after." Jesse chuckled.

"And now?" Jack shrugged.

"No clue. I mean, I'm gonna play football but I don't know if I'm cut out for the pros yet. I'd have to see the kinda teams we go up against so I know how I really stack up. You know?" Jesse nodded in understanding, grabbing his sandwich to take a bite as he waited for their next level to load.

"Yeah. There's really no way to tell what kinda players we'll come up against at the college level," he agreed. "So you really don't know what you wanna do after college?" he asked curiously.

"Nope. Not for a living anyway. I like sports so any career that revolves around them would be **ideal** but I'm not sure which direction to take yet." Jesse chuckled at Jack's predicament.

"I wouldn't sweat it too much. We're only eighteen. It's not like people expect us to have our whole future planned out by the time we graduate from high school." Jack snorted derisively.

"Says you. Jason and Grace already know they wanna be doctors. Madison wants to be a singer or song writer. Well, at least she did when we were dating; I don't know if her plans have changed. Amy wants to play with the New York symphony, although I don't know how she'll make that happen since she's got John. And even Adrian knows she wants to be a lawyer. What are **you** gonna do after college?" Jack asked curiously.

"Marine biology," Jesse answered. Jack glanced over at his friend with a surprised expression, giving his car time to crash into an obstacle.

"Seriously!?" I didn't know you liked fish and all that." Jesse laughed and looked over at Jack with a smile.

"There's more to marine biology than just studying fish you know. And yeah, I wanna be a marine biologist. The ocean's ecosystem fascinates me." Jesse picked up his sandwich and took another bite and then washed it down with some of his soda.

"Huh," Jack replied with surprise, slouching back into the sofa. "So it must just be me with no plans for my future." Jesse gave Jack a look of sympathy.

"Jack, I'm sure you're not the first teenager who went off to college with no clue what they wanted to do with their lives. But if it bugs you that much why not go talk to the school counselor? Isn't that what she gets paid to do? Counsel people?" Jack shrugged noncommittally.

"It's worth a shot." Jesse glanced at his watch and stood up, picking up his plate and soda as he did so.

"I gotta go," he announced before heading to the kitchen to drop off his plate.

"Where you off to?" Jack asked as he followed Jesse, carrying his own plate and their bowl of chips.

"I'm meeting Lauren to go miniature golfing," he told Jack as a small smile appeared on his face. Jack nodded in understanding and then walked Jesse to the door. He shut the door behind him and then headed back into the living room and plopped down on the couch. His mother came in a few minutes later carrying a laundry basket on her hip.

"Did Jesse leave already?" she asked curiously. Jack nodded but remained silent. His mother saw that he seemed puzzled about something so she joined him on the couch, setting the laundry basket on the coffee table. "What's on your mind, sweetie?" she asked.

"Nothing. And everything." He ran a hand through his hair and then looked at his mother. "When you went off to college did you know what you wanted to do with the rest of your life?" he asked her seriously. His heart sank a little when she nodded.

"Yes."

"How'd you know?" His mother gave him a puzzled expression.

"What do you mean?" Jack sighed.

"I don't have a clue what I wanna do. I know I wanna do something that involves sports but I don't know **what** exactly, or how I'm supposed to figure out what to pick," he said with irritation. His mother gave him a motherly smile and placed her hand on his knee.

"Sweetie, the answer is obvious." Jack looked at his mother with astonishment. How could she figure out the answer when he couldn't? When he didn't say anything his mother continued. "God." Jack's astonishment turned into utter confusion.

"Mom, I don't think becoming a minister is the right job for me." He was even more confused when his mother started to chuckle.

"I didn't mean become a minster, honey. I meant you're forgetting that God has all the answers. Have you prayed about it?" Jack's expression went blank for a moment as he processed his mother's words. _Why didn't I think of that before!?_

"No," he admitted, feeling both ashamed and slightly embarrassed that he hadn't.

"Jack, God blessed you with the talent to play football and that talent got you a full ride scholarship. Football's helped open the door for you to get a college education and if you're not sure what path to take next, the best thing you can do is pray about it and let God show you the way. The good Lord gave us brains but not all the answers to life's many questions. If we had them what would we need his guidance and grace for?" she asked him with a chuckle.

"Yeah but I feel kinda weird praying, considering."

"Considering what?"

"How badly I've screwed up, with having sex before marriage and all." Again his mother chuckled, confusing him.

"Honey, King David committed adultery and he was still called the man after God's own heart for one reason and one reason only: when he realized he'd screwed up and sinned, he genuinely repented and did his best to get back on track, leaving everything else up to God. God doesn't require us to be perfect, he just expects us to try to follow the example he's set for us and, when we do slip up and sin, to do like David and get back on track. It doesn't matter what you've done. If you're truly repentant, and I know you truly are, then you shouldn't feel weird about going to him in prayer." She stood up and retrieved her laundry basket and then bent down and kissed her son's forehead. "Just pray about it and keep your eyes and ears open for his answer," she advised him with a smile before heading upstairs to put away the clean laundry. Jack smiled at his mother's back as she watched her walk away from him. _And this is why God gave us parents I suppose_ he thought with amusement.

At the Valko residence Henry was also worrying about his future. He and Alice had spent the day in her room studying for the SATs, with Alice taking extra time to help Henry feel comfortable with the math and history portions. Unfortunately, Henry's mind kept wandering to his and Alice's future.

"Alice, you think we'll still be together like five years from now?" Alice looked up from the study guide she'd been reviewing with a perplexed look on her face.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't we be?" Henry shrugged and sighed before stretching out on Alice's bed so he could stare at the ceiling.

"Think about it. We graduate from high school next year and then we'll all go our separate ways. Long distance relationship's never work so I'm wondering if we'll be that couple that makes it or if we'll just be another statistic." Alice was puzzled by his explanation.

"That would only be an issue if you were planning on going somewhere. Unless there's something you need to tell me," she said, her voice holding a note of warning that she wanted the truth. Henry glanced at her nervously. He hadn't planned on bringing it up just yet but he knew he'd just accidentally let it slip and, from Alice's expression, he also knew she wouldn't drop the matter 'til she got a satisfactory answer. He swallowed and looked at her with hesitation.

"You have to promise not to jump to conclusions or overreact." Alice nodded slowly, not sure she was going to like what her boyfriend had to say next. "I wanna enlist." Alice's eyes got as big as saucers and she opened her mouth to tell him exactly why that was a bad idea before she remembered she'd just promised not to overreact. So instead she asked a question.

"Why?" Henry inwardly sighed with relief that Alice hadn't bitten his head off and he felt himself relax slightly. He rolled onto his side and looked at her.

"Because I wanna do something meaningful with my life. And while I know there are lots of jobs I could do to accomplish that, serving in the military would give me the opportunity to do my part in helping to protect this country and the people who live in it. And I understand that means putting myself in harm's way. But people have willingly sacrificed their lives for centuries so others could have life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness and I'd be honored to be a part of it." Alice was stunned, both by Henry's future career plans and his impassioned reasons for making such a choice. Alice leaned over and kissed him. Henry had prepared for a fight and so her gesture stunned him into silence.

"That's the noblest thing you've ever said," she told him seriously. "Do your parents know?" Henry nodded.

"We talked about it a lot when I brought it up a couple of months ago. They wanted to make sure I wanted to enlist for the right reasons."

"Does Ben know?" Henry shook his head.

"I figured I should give him some more time to deal with losing Mercy before I sprung on him the idea of possibly losing one of his best friends in battle." Alice nodded in agreement and then looked at Henry with suspicion.

"And when exactly where you planning on telling me? If I hadn't read between the lines of your earlier question?" Henry looked at her sheepishly.

"I wasn't." Alice glared at him.

"Excuse me!?" Henry cringed slightly at her reaction.

"Well, I figured if I told you what I wanted to do you'd try to talk me out of it. Or just tell me why it was a stupid idea so I figured if we broke up before we graduated you'd be too mad at me to care what I was gonna do with the rest of my life and I wouldn't have to tell you and have a big fight about it."

"So you were just gonna break up with me for no reason then sneak off with the military!?"

"No, I would've thought of a reason," he admitted weakly, looking at Alice nervously. His nervousness vanished when he saw that Alice was now on the verge of crying. "Please don't cry, Alice," he pleaded, reaching his hand out to take hold of hers. She snatched it away.

"I've been in love with you since the third grade, Henry Miller. While I don't know what the future holds, since I'm not a psychic, I always knew we'd end up together. But if you don't see us having any kind of future together than what are we doing together?" Her tears began to fall. This was not how Henry imagined this going. If anything he had envisioned coming up with some sort of excuse that would make Alice angry, not cry. And seeing the woman he loved crying broke his heart.

"Alice, it's not like that." She wiped her wet cheeks.

"Then what's it like, Henry?" she asked, her voice and eyes filled with sadness. Henry crawled up the bed until he was sitting beside her and put his arm around her. Alice was too confused to shrug him off.

"I love you." Alice gave him a disbelieving glare. Henry simply wiped away one of her tears and continued to look at her sincerely. "Alice, I don't know where I'm gonna get sent after I finish basic training and it's not fair of me to expect you to wait for me 'til my enlistment's up instead of seeing what other guys are out there and having some fun in college."

"But isn't it unfair for you to make decisions about my future without giving me a vote?" Henry had to pause his train of thought for a moment as he hadn't looked at this situation from that angel before. "Isn't breaking up with me to 'set me free' unfair to me if I don't wanna be set free?"

"Wait, why wouldn't you?" Henry asked with confusion. Alice rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.

"You don't listen very well do you? I said I've been in love with you since the third grade. You're the only guy I've ever wanted to be with, Henry. So our relationship will be long distance while you're enlisted. So what? The only reason long distance relationships fail is because one or both parties decide to stop trying to make it work. Do you wanna give up on us without even giving it a shot?"

"Not really," Henry admitted, causing Alice to roll her eyes again.

"It's a yes or no question, Hank; maybe's not an option. So which is it?"

"You'd really be willing to do the long distance thing while I'm at boot camp and then off to who knows where?" Alice nodded.

"Again, Hank, I can't predict the future but I just wanna end up with you, however long it takes for that to happen." Henry looked at her with wonder, trying to figure out how he'd lucked out and ended up with such a great girl. Alice looked backed and patiently waited for his response. Henry smiled and leaned over to kiss her.

"So I guess that mean five years from now we'll still be together?" Alice smirked and nodded. Her smirked vanished a second later and she grabbed Henry by the neck and pulled his head towards her roughly for a deep kiss. Henry blinked a couple of times when she pulled away abruptly. He looked into her eyes and saw that they were serious.

"So long as you come back to me alive," she told him seriously. They stared in each other's eyes for a moment, silently communicating that they both understood the seriousness of his enlistment and then Henry nodded, letting her know he promised to do his best to come back to her, alive.

"Has anyone ever told you you're awesome?" he asked her seriously. Alice smiled at his question.

"Once or twice." They shared a brief kiss and then Alice snuggled into his side. They sat on her bed silently just enjoying each other's presence for the rest of the afternoon, SAT prep and the future forgotten for the moment.


	42. Home Again

Tom was waiting with his mother and grandmother at the airport, impatiently, for this sister to make her way to the baggage claim.

"The plane alweady landed so where are dey?" he asked with exasperation.

"Patience is a virtue sweetie," his mother reminded him, her eyes on the entrance to the terminal searching for her daughter.

"Not wight now it isn't." Kathleen chuckled and turned her head to the side to look at her son. Tom suddenly pointed and a grin came over his face as she did so. "I see her! I see her!" he cried out happily. Grace looked around when she heard her brother's excited voice and smiled when she spotted him. She quickly made her way towards her family while Grant greeted his parents. Tom enveloped her in a bear hug when she reached them. "I missed you. What'd you bwing me?" Grace laughed and ended the hug.

"I missed you too, Tom. And you'll have to wait 'til we get home to see what I brought you." She stepped around her brother to hug her mom and Kathleen hugged her tightly.

"I missed you so much, honey. I'm glad you made it back safe and sound." Grace sighed happily.

"I missed you too, mom." Kathleen reluctantly released her daughter so her mom could hug her too. "Hi, grandma," Grace said cheerfully as she embraced her grandmother.

"Hi, Gracie. Did you all at least get a chance to have some fun?" she asked, looking back and forth between Grace and Grant as she pulled back. Grace nodded, a smile on her face.

"Yeah. One day we got to spend the **whole** afternoon at the local market. I've got **tons** of pictures." Grant managed to extract himself from his mother's arms, hugs and kisses to add his two cents to the conversation.

"It was pretty neat to just spend the day seeing how other people live and socialize." Grace nodded her agreement.

"We worked hard this week but some of my favorite parts of the trip were the down time where we got to chat with the local doctors and experience another culture. Not so say I'm not **immensely** glad to be back home, but it was a lot of fun and helped me appreciate what I've got." Kathleen gave Grace a side hug with a smile.

"Well if you came away from the trip a little more appreciative and well-rounded then I'd say it was worthwhile."

"Amen," her mother agreed. The light on their luggage carousel began to flash and Grace and Grant joined the throng of travelers waiting to retrieve their luggage. Once Grace had her bags she sets them down by her mom and went to hug and kiss her boyfriend goodbye.

"I'll see you at school on Monday."

"Aren't you going to church tomorrow?" Grant asked her curiously. Grace chuckled.

"We'll see if the jet lag catches up with me tonight or not," she explained. Grant smiled and nodded his agreement.

"See you Monday then." Grace rejoined her family and they made their way to the parking garage to start their journey home.

"So what all did they have you kids doing?" Kathleen asked, hitting the alarm to unlock the car.

"Oh some of everything," Grace replied as Tom helped her load her bags into the trunk. No one spoke again until they were all buckled in. "They had us rotating through the various parts of the clinic so we could experience different aspects of medicine and patient care," Grace explained excitedly as her mother joined the cue of vehicles waiting to pay for their parking and leave. "I got to help with newborns, taking care of their moms, helping little kids get their checkups, vaccinations. They didn't let us actually give shots or anything, we just got to retrieve the vaccines and needles and other equipment," she quickly assured her mom.

"Sounds like they gave you kids a well-rounded taste of what it could be like to be doctors," her grandmother said with a smile as she made eye contact with Grace in the rearview mirror. Grace nodded as she smiled back.

"Yeah. It was really eye opening too."

"Oh?" Kathleen asked.

"Yeah. Even though it was just like any other clinic, the people were just so different from us. For one they were much more grateful and gracious than the strangers we usually run into. And the people were just so much happier, even though a lot of 'em were very poor and didn't have much," Grace said thoughtfully. "It really showed me just how much I take for granted and how blessed with stuff I really am." Kathleen chuckled as she changed lanes.

"That's why they say sometimes it's good to walk a mile in someone else's shoes." Her mom nodded in agreement.

"Seeing the world through someone else's eyes can help give you a different perspective on life." She looked in the rearview mirror at Grace again as she smiled. "It can help keep you grounded too." Grace smiled back at her grandmother.

"Yep," Tom agreed with a smile. Grace laughed as she looked over at her brother.

"Do tell. Have you walked a mile in someone else's shoes recently?" she asked teasingly.

"Nope. I don't have to. I like my shoes just fine tank you. Plus I know most people don't see tings da way I see dem 'cuz I'm a wittle diffwent alweady." Tom gave her a mischievous smile. "But dats **deir** loss, not mine." Everyone chuckled at his statement.

"Amen, Tom," his grandmother said, smiling at him in the rearview mirror. "Thank the good Lord we're **not** all the same." Everyone nodded their agreement. When they arrived home Grace began to grin from ear to ear. _It's good to be home._

"So where's my pwesent?" Tom asked eagerly but impatiently. Grace chuckled at her brother's annoyance and headed into the living room to open her suitcase, everyone following close behind her. Grace set her suitcase on the coffee table and opened it. She fished around inside for a moment before pulling out several small packages of souvenirs. Tom eagerly grabbed his and began to open it. Once he'd removed his gift from its wrapping he laughed and held it up for his mom and grandmother to see.

"Neat! It's a funky hippo!" Kathleen and her mom unwrapped their gifts and saw that Grace had gotten them pieces of jewelry.

"They're all handmade," Grace told them. Kathleen put her necklace around her neck while her mom put on a pair of matching bracelets Grace had gotten her.

"They're lovely, Gracie," her grandmother told her with a soft smile.

"Yes. Thank you, sweetheart," Kathleen added. She checked her watch and then looked back up at Grace. Well it's still a little while until dinner. Why don't you unpack and get your clothes to the laundry while I finish up in the kitchen," Kathleen suggested, rising from the sofa.

"I'll help," her mother offered. Grace got up to do as he mom suggested as Tom scampered up to his room to find a suitable spot for his little funky hippo.

"Tanks, Gwace!" he called out as he hurried up the stairs. Grace chuckled as she headed towards the laundry room. _Yep. It's good to be home._

At Grant High Madison's step mom and Justin's mom were among the group of parents in the parking lot waiting for their children's van to arrive. Madison smiled when she spotted her step mom and waved. The teens spilled out of the van and embraced their waiting parents or family members. Madison happily ran up to her mom and hugged her.

"Have fun?" she asked with a chuckle. Madison nodded as she pulled back, a tired smile on her face.

"Yeah, but it's nice to be home. Even the woods start to sound a little too quiet after a while." The two ladies chuckled as Justin walked over.

"So I'll see you at school on Monday," he told her with a smile. Madison stepped away from her mom to give her boyfriend a hug and a kiss.

"Thanks for talking me into doing this." Justin smiled back at her.

"No problem." He quickly kissed her cheek and then followed his dad over to their car to head home. He paused at the passenger door and turned towards her for one final wave before climbing in and Madison waved back. Her mom put an arm around her shoulders as they walked towards their own car.

"So what'd you guys do while I was gone?" Madison asked curiously as they made their way across the parking lot.

"Just boring grownup stuff. Paid a few bills, deep cleaned some parts of the house and your dad worked on the yard since the weather was so nice." Her mom shrugged as they separated to get into the car. "So what'd you guys do?" she asked conversationally as she buckled her seat belt and started the car.

"Well, we went for a hike every morning and our teachers gave these talks about various plants and roots you could eat or use to heal cuts and stings and things and we took notes. After lunch we got to hang out near the lake for a while then we hiked back to write up our daily reports about what we learned. After dinner they'd tell us stories about the area for a bit and then we'd have free time 'til lights out. But a couple of nights it was really clear so we went outside and Ms. Norton told us the myths behind a lot of the constellations while we made s'mores." Her mom chuckled as she listened to Madison recount her week, noticing a touch of excitement in her daughter's voice.

"Well it sounds like hiking and camping agrees with you." Madison made a face.

"I don't know if I'd like **real** camping but staying in a log cabin in the woods for a week isn't so bad. And it wasn't like one of those teens movies where there's a crazy killer in the woods offing everybody one by one or **anything**." Her mom laughed at that last statement and the two drove the rest of the way home in happy spirits.

Madison yawned as they drove into their driveway. Her mom hit the remote to open the garage and drove in when the door lifted. Madison got out and retrieved her bag from the trunk as the garage door closed.

"Dinner's almost ready but why don't you go ahead and unpack. That way you won't have to do it tomorrow," her mother suggested. Madison nodded in agreement and then headed upstairs to unpack her bags. She had just reached her bedroom when her phone vibrated. She smiled when she saw Lauren was calling. Madison dropped her bag near her bed and sat down as she answered.

"Long time no see," Lauren said teasingly when Madison picked up. "I take it this means you didn't die in the woods." Madison laughed at her best friend's mirthfulness.

"Yeah, yeah, I survived. It actually wasn't that bad."

"Really," Lauren said with disbelief. "This coming from the girl who hates to get too dirty." Madison laughed again.

"I know, right? But it wasn't real camping since we stayed at a log cabin." Madison climbed onto her bed a little more so she could stretch out. "So what'd you do all week?"

"Not much. Jesse and I hung out a couple of afternoons and I stayed a little later a couple a nights after ballet practice since I had the time, but other than that I just relaxed." Madison yawned.

"Sorry. We had a long drive back. I'm **so** looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow." Lauren chuckled.

"I'll bet."

As Madison and Lauren caught up, on the freeway Amy and Ricky were enjoying the drive back in comfortable silence, John sound asleep in his car seat.

"So would you say this week was a success?" Ricky asked, his eyes focused on the road.

"Definitely," Amy answered with a smile, turning in her seat to look behind her at her sleeping little boy. She turned back around, the smile still on her face. "It was kinda nice just being the three of us." Ricky smiled as he thought back over their week. "Even the day it rained." Ricky chuckled as he recalled that day. They had checked the weather before they left and had come prepared for a chance of rain but the downpour they got instead made he and Amy decide to just hang out at the hotel for the day. It had been exhausting trying to keep a two year old entertained for a whole day when they couldn't let him run around an entire house so they had compromised by taking John to the hotel's indoor pool for a while and hanging out in the lobby for a little bit so he could watch the lights in the fountain change color.

"You forget how tiring it can be to have your kid with you for an entire day." Amy chuckled her agreement.

"Yeah. It doesn't help when your son's a mini energizer bunny who loves asking questions." Ricky glanced over at Amy and saw her smiling back at him. He turned his eyes back to the road and then reached for her hand, lacing their fingers. Amy sighed contentedly. "But momentary tiredness aside, I had a blast, just hangin' with my boys." Ricky brought their joined hands to his lips and kissed the back of her hand.

"And we had fun just hangin' with you," he told her sincerely, glancing over to give her a smile. Amy sighed and slouched in her seat slightly.

"I almost wish we didn't have to go back to school in two days," she said sadly.

"I know. Me too." They drove the rest of the way home in silence. When they pulled up to her house Amy got out and stretched lazily as Ricky made his way to the trunk to retrieve her and John's bags. He walked her to the door and then waited as she unlocked it. He set the bags on the floor of the entryway and then stood upright to kiss her goodnight as Moose came walking towards her with his tail wagging happily.

"'Night," she said with a tired smile, absentmindedly reaching down to scratch Moose's ear.

"'Night. We'll see you tomorrow." Amy nodded in agreement and then watched Ricky walk back to his car and get in. She continued watching until he drove away and only shut the door when he turned the corner and was out of sight. She looked down at Moose, the tired smile still on her face.

"Hey boy. Did you miss me?" Moose wagged his tail in response. "Where is everybody?" Moose turned around and headed into the kitchen, Amy following close behind him. She found Ashley fixing herself a cup of hot cocoa. "Hey, Ash. How was your week?" Amy asked, getting a glass out of the cupboard to get herself a glass of water.

"Fine," she responded nonchalantly.

"Just fine?" Ashley shrugged and began to pour miniature marshmallows into her mug of cocoa. Amy chuckled as Ashley tried to cram in more than she should. "Having some cocoa with our marshmallows?" she asked with a chuckle. Ashley glanced over at her with a grin.

"Basically," she said cheekily. "I'm in the mood for something sweet." Ashley put away the bag of marshmallows and then carried her mug, brimming with her sugary treat, to the kitchen table to join her sister. "So how was yours?" A sappy smile spread across Amy's face.

"Perfect, more or less." Ashley snorted into her mug.

"What's **that** supposed to mean?" she asked with amusement. Amy laughed.

"It means that entertaining a two year old all day for a week, minus naps and bedtime, is tiring but overall it was a fun week." Ashley looked at Amy mischievously.

"So how was it sharing a hotel room with your baby daddy? Especially since I know you two didn't do anything." Amy blushed as she recalled the 'underwear incident' and Ashley began to grin. "Oh this oughta be good. What happened?" she asked eagerly, setting her mug down and propping up her left elbow on the table to rest her chin in it."

"He put my clothes away the first day we were there, trying to help me out, and he saw my underwear," Amy admitted, still blushing slightly. Ashley started laughing, which made Amy feel confused.

"I can't believe you're actually blushing about that," she said, taking a sip of her cocoa.

"Why not?" Ashley arched an eyebrow at her and smirked as she set her mug down.

"He's already seen you naked and you're embarrassed about him seeing some of your underwear," Ashley explained patiently, as though it should've been obvious. Amy rolled her eyes and then took a sip of her water.

"That was almost two years ago!" Amy explained. "My body doesn't look the same and….well..." Amy paused for a moment. "Are mom and dad out for date night?" Ashley nodded and Amy sighed with relief. "You have to promise not to tell dad, and this isn't about keeping secrets like we used to or anything, okay?" Ashley nodded, giving Amy her undivided attention. Amy sighed and tucked some hair behind her left ear. "Ricky told me he's still attracted to me. Sexually."

"Okay…"

"And I'm not ready to sleep with him again."

"Okay…."

"And when I realized he'd seen my underwear and got embarrassed he told me he was imagining me in it and asked if the rest of my underwear had lace in it too." Ashley was silent for a split second before she burst out laughing, causing Moose to lift his head from where he was lying on the floor to look at her curiously.

"Hang on. You took lacy underwear for a week-long vacation with your boyfriend when you **knew** you weren't gonna have sex with him?" Ashley asked, her voice dripping with mirth. "Who knew my big sister was such a tease," she said with a grin. Amy glared at her.

"It wasn't like that! You've seen some of my underwear, Ash. You know I like the ones with a little lace on the edges. They're girly and cute and I wasn't thinking about it; I just packed some clean underwear for the trip."

"And now you're boyfriend admitted he's gonna have dirty thoughts about you because he saw your underwear." Amy nodded. "You're right. Probably best not to tell dad about this. I mean, he doesn't hate the guy anymore but knowing that won't score Ricky any brownie points with dad."

"True. Although I think Ricky was more amused about my embarrassment over the 'incident' than anything else," she admitted with a chuckle.

"So besides the 'incident' you guys had a fun week with John?" Amy nodded, her smile returning.

"I've got tons of pictures and video clips." A yawn snuck up on her. "But they'll have to wait 'til tomorrow. We had a long week and then a long trip back." Amy downed the rest of her water and put her glass in the sink. "'Night, Ash."

"'Night, Amy." Amy headed upstairs to get ready for bed, deciding to unpack tomorrow, as Ashley finished her cocoa, a smirk on her face. _Who needs soap operas when you've got Amy around to listen to?_ Ashley sighed happily and glanced over at Moose.

"I'm glad they're home," she told him. Moose wagged his tail happily in response. Upstairs Amy climbed into the shower with a contented sigh. _It was fun while it lasted and now it's just nice to be home._


	43. Back To Reality

Adrian walked into school with her head held high. She was determined not to let anyone's comments get to her, especially since she felt a little proud of herself. She had experienced a tragedy and was taking steps to lead a normal life again, the biggest step being simply setting foot inside the high school again. Sure there would be whispers and gossip, but she'd dealt with them before and she could do it again. Her resolve slipped slightly as she caught a glimpse of Ricky heading up the stairs. He hadn't seen her and she inwardly breathed a sigh of relief. She knew she'd have to make her apologies to he and Amy before the end of the school day, or else she'd feel on edge for the rest of the school year, but she'd rather not talk to either of them just yet. She collected herself and made her way to the counselor's office and politely knocked on the open door. Mrs. O'Malley looked up and greeted her with a smile.

"Hello, Adrian. I'm happy to see you. Please," she motioned to one of the chairs in front of her desk. "Have a seat." Adrian did so while Mrs. O'Malley pulled Adrian's file out of her desk drawer. "So I've spoken to your teachers and we've compiled a list of the work you've missed and will need to make up," she explained, handing Adrian a sheet of paper from the file. "And, depending on how quickly you make up the work, you could be finished with summer school before the actual end of the summer school term." Adrian blanched slightly and looked up from the paper she was skimming, a shocked expression on her face.

"Summer school!? But I'm sure I can make up the work in time!" Adrian said, her voice pleading with Mrs. O'Malley to at least let her try. The counselor gave her a sympathetic look.

"I'm sorry, Adrian, but it's not just the work. You missed over two months of school and per district policy the work **and** the classroom hours need to be made up. That means that even if you manage to complete all of these assignments and tests before the end of the school year, you would still need to attend summer school to be physically present in a classroom for the amount of time equal to the classroom hours you were absent."

"How was I supposed to know that!?" Adrian demanded.

"It's in the assignment planner you were given at the start of the school year in the student handbook section. It clearly states in the section concerning absences that any absences related to health issues or a death in the family that last longer than two weeks require you to attend summer school to make up the instruction hours you missed, as well as any work that you still need to complete."

"But," Adrian shifted closer to the desk and gave Mrs. O'Malley a sweet smile. "I was kinda hoping to walk with my classmates. Are you **sure** there's no way for me to make up the hours by the end of the school year? What if I came in on Saturdays? Kinda like an alternative detention or something?" Adrian asked hopefully. Mrs. O'Malley gave her a sympathetic look as she shook her head.

"I'm sorry, Adrian, but the school's policy is very clear. You've missed too many school hours consecutively to graduate with your senior class. You'll need to attend summer school to finish up your graduation requirements." Adrian was suddenly feeling very let down. _Not the best news to start off my first day back_. Adrian nodded her understanding and rose to leave the office.

"Well, thanks," Adrian said coolly and then headed towards her locker. She was lost in her thoughts and wasn't paying attention to where she was going as she headed towards her locker and she bumped into Zoe. Zoe smirked when she realized who she had just bumped into.

"Hey, it's Grant High's newest baby momma," she said, her voice full or snark and amusement as she looked Adrian up and down. "You'd think after getting knocked up you'd tone down the wardrobe a little but I guess some people never learn," Zoe commented with a smile, her eyes filled with judgment and contempt. Zoe didn't give Adrian a chance to respond and promptly continued on her way as Adrian starred daggers at Zoe's back.

"You shouldn't let her get to you." Adrian whipped her head around towards the voice that had spoken and some of her anger dissipated as her eyes landed on Jack.

"Hey, Jack," she replied tiredly.

"So how you doin'? Adjusting to being a mom and everything alright?" he asked sincerely. Adrian blanched for a moment out of shock. _Do people really not know?_ Her blank expressed worried Jack and his curious expression changed to one of concern. "You okay, Adrian?" Adrian snapped out of it and then glanced around to make sure no one else was within ear shot. It might get out eventually but she'd like to make it through first period without having to hear people whispering about it. Seeing no one near them Adrian shook her head.

"Apparently you're outta the loop and haven't heard." Adrian paused to take a deep breath and let it out slowly. This was the first person outside her family and close circle of friends, or frienemies, that she would be telling about Mercy and she was glad it was someone she knew and sorta trusted. "Mercy was stillborn." She waited silently as her words registered in Jack's mind, watching confusion, shock, and sympathy come across his face in succession. Instead of saying anything right away Jack surprised her by hugging her.

"I'm so sorry, Adrian," he said sincerely. She gave him a small, sad smile in response.

"Thanks. So to answer your earlier question, I'm just doing okay. I'm better than I was a couple months ago but I'm taking it one day at a time." Jack nodded in understanding.

"Does anyone else know?" Adrian sighed and nodded.

"Amy's family and cronies, Ricky, Grace and Ben's friends. And I imagine Grant and Ashley's friend Griffin. But other than that I don't know." Jack wanted to ask her more questions about Mercy's stillbirth but he couldn't think of any way to ask them without sounding too insensitive and he didn't wanna pry.

"I'm here if you wanna talk. Or I could get you in touch with my dad," he offered. Adrian gave him a grateful smile.

"Thanks, Jack." Adrian headed towards her locker as Jack headed towards his own.

Adrian only managed to make it through the first two periods of the day without hearing anyone gossip about her. During her third period class she went to the restroom and overheard a conversation that made her blood boil.

"So she finally resurfaced," a girl said as she stood at the sink and turned the faucet on, intending to fix and reapply some of her makeup while her friend relieved herself.

"I know," her friend called out from the stall she was in. "And personally I think it's unfair she doesn't look like she popped out a kid. I was kinda hoping she'd be all outa shape or something." Her friend laughed.

"Why's that?"

"Well," she paused to flush the toilet and emerge from her stall. "I figured if she lost her figure by having a kid then maybe some of the guys around here would bother giving me a second look," she explained as she turned on the faucet to wash her hands. "You know. Give the rest of us a fighting chance."

"Most guys probably aren't interested in her anymore 'cuz now she's got a kid so who **cares** what she **looks** like anymore? She's got too much baggage now."

"Well, Ben was still into Amy when she had **her** kid."

"Yeah, but Boykewich is a hopeless romantic who's too stupid to know when he's in too deep and hasn't got a chance," her friend snickered. "Like Amy would ever choose him when she could have Ricky."

"True, but that didn't stop Ben from being with her."

"Well they're not together now. And Adrian's no Amy." Another girl walked into the bathroom and caught the end of the girl's statement. She walked towards the other two girls with a happy smile.

"Are we Adrian bashing so early in the day ladies," she asked with amusement. The other two girls smiled at her.

"Oh, Cara, you know us so well."

"So what's the scoop this time?" Cara asked, her mission to relive herself momentarily forgotten.

"Just that Jackie here's upset the kid didn't wreck Adrian's body so she'd have a better shot with the guys." Jackie stuck her tongue out at her friend.

"And Melissa figures since Adrian's no Amy guys won't be interested in her anyway now that she's got a kid in tow." Cara shrugged as she entered a stall and locked the door.

"I'm with Melissa," Cara replied from within her stall. "I don't know what sorta crazy Kool-Aid Amy got Ricky to drink to make him date her but I can't think of any guy other than Adrian's baby daddy who'd wanna be involved with her now." Adrian had heard enough. She flushed her toilet to let them know they weren't alone in the bathroom and walked out of her stall with her head held high. Melissa and Jackie didn't look embarrassed in the least at having been caught talking about her behind her back and Adrian ignored them as she washed her hands. She grabbed a couple of paper towels out of the dispenser to dry her hands as Cara came out of her stall. She likewise didn't look the least bit embarrassed upon discovering Adrian had overheard them. After all, Adrian had slept or flirted with each of their boyfriends so she wasn't exactly on their Christmas lists. Adrian tossed her used paper towels into the trashcan and waked out, determined not to let them see that they had upset or angered her. _The nerve of those girls_ she silently fumed, even though she kept her features neutral_. I worked hard to get my figure back and maybe I'm not interested in just hooking up with guys anymore. Mercy or not, I'm not that girl anymore!_ Adrian inwardly sighed as she walked back into her classroom and took her seat. _But I'm not gonna waste my breath tryna convince __**them**__ of that._

When the bell rang for lunch Adrian was relieved. Lunch meant half the day was almost over and she was proud of herself for making it that far in the day without an emotional breakdown. Her sprits sank a little as she saw Amy walking down the hallway. Adrian still didn't know exactly what she wanted to say to Amy but she knew Grace had been praying for her and trusted that God would answer Grace's prayer and give Adrian the words she needed. Adrian gathered her courage and quickened her pace to catch up to Amy.

"Amy." Amy turned towards the sound of her name and was surprised to see Adrian a few steps behind her. Amy suddenly felt very awkward. Like Adrian, she didn't know what to say either. Luckily Adrian was feeling bolder than she was and spoke first. "I know we're not exactly friends and we've got a...complicated past but I need to say something to you. Can we go outside for a minute?" she asked hopefully. The fewer people around to hear them the better. Amy nodded.

"Just let me grab my lunch." Adrian and Amy walked silently to Amy's locker where Amy dropped off her books and things and grabbed her lunch sack. Students who saw them began whispering. Could the two actually have become friends now that they're both baby mommas? Wouldn't that be weird since they used to date, and in Adrian's case sleep with, each other's baby daddy? Yep, the Grant High gossip grapevine had come alive with a new reason for gossiping. "So where to?" Amy asked as they entered the front courtyard. Adrian looked around and noticed a spot near a couple of shady trees that was clear of students. She walked over to it with Amy following her. They sat down and were silent for a moment, neither knowing where to begin. Once again Adrian took the initiative.

"Okay, so I'm not really sure how to say all this so just let me get it all out before you say anything. Okay?" Adrian asked hopefully. Adrian began once Amy nodded. "I owe you a humungous apology because I get it now." Adrian looked down at her feet as she continued. "Being pregnant, I get how much you love John. Right after I lost Mercy all I could think about was what it would've been like to watch her grow up, to see her first steps, hear her first words, just be her mommy." Adrian paused to steady her voice, which had begun to waiver slightly as she revealed her past thoughts to Amy. "When I tried to take Ricky away from you I just wanted him to care more about me than you. Once I realized I couldn't keep him away from you because of John I figured if I could get him **and** John away from you then I'd win. But after losing Mercy, I get how much I hurt you by even **suggesting** you were gonna lose your baby because I **did** lose mine and it hurts. And I feel guilty for trying to hurt you that way because being separated from your child is a pain like no other." She dried her eyes before the tears within them could spill over and then she took a deep breath. "I know 'I'm sorry' doesn't begin to make up for what I did and tried to do to you but, Amy," Adrian finally looked up and looked Amy in the eye so she could see the sincerity in her eyes. "I truly am sorry." Amy reached over and gave Adrian's hand a reassuring squeeze.

"I'm sorry for what happened to you, Adrian," Amy told her sincerely and then took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "And I'm sorry I didn't say so sooner." Adrian looked at her with confusion. "Grace called me the day after and asked me to talk to you, figuring that out of all of us I could probably relate to you the best at that moment. But I didn't know what to say. And…I was a little afraid."

"Of what?" Adrian asked curiously.

"Who you used to be?" Again Adrian looked at her with confusion. "I was afraid that if I even **attempted** to offer my condolences you'd bite my head off and somehow try to make it my fault, and I've been working very hard to keep the drama out of my life and I was worried that saying anything would get me entangled with you again," Amy admitted. "I wanted to genuinely offer my condolences but I also didn't know what to say since I don't really **know** what you're going through. I just didn't wanna make it worse." To Amy's surprise, and confusion, Adrian began to chuckle.

"You made the right choice. After we buried Mercy Ben and I went to a family grief therapist with our parents and we were both so angry we **did** try to blame the whole thing on you and Ricky. But eventually the counselor got us to see that while the twisted love rectangle we were in played a role in our tragedy, ultimately blaming you two was just a cop out since, medically at least, no one was at fault for what happened; it's just one of those things doctors can't explain." They simply stared at each other for a moment and the moment was interrupted when Ricky came around the corner of the building and headed straight towards them. Amy spotted him first and could tell he was in 'defend my girlfriend' mode. When he was a little closer she told him with her eyes that everything was okay. Ricky calmed down slightly but he still wasn't convinced. Adrian didn't notice him until he was practically in front of them as he had approached them from behind and she was facing away from the building.

"Everything alright?" he asked cautiously anyway, wanting to make sure. Adrian felt a little hurt at his words because she knew they were directed at Amy, Ricky really asking if **Amy** was okay, and he had never behaved that way when he was dating her.

"Yeah," Amy told him.

"Ricky," Adrian said in a calm voice. "Since you're here I need to apologize to you too." Ricky couldn't think of anything Adrian had recently done that would warrant an apology. He looked at Amy for more information but she just gave him a reassuring smile.

"Apologize for what?" he asked, now curious as well as slightly worried. Adrian licked her lips before answering.

"Right after John was born I wanted you to pay more attention to me than Amy." Ricky rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to tell her that they had already been over all that but Adrian kept speaking. "One I realized you'd always pay attention to Amy because of John I figured if I could get you to see the three of **us** as a little family then you'd stay away from Amy. And please let me finish before you start lecturing me. When I lost Mercy I realized I musta made Amy feel similarly to how I was feeling by even **suggesting** she could lose her son and not be his mother anymore because I was hurting over **actually** losing my baby," she explained, her voice wavering slightly again. "On top of that I realized just how wrong of me it was to try to keep you away from John by tryna keep you away from Amy because no one should be forced to stay separated from their kid. Ben won't get to be a dad to Mercy because she's gone, Ricky, but he wanted to be. You wanted to be a dad to John and I tried to stop you and, seeing how hurt Ben was after we lost Mercy, I get how hurt you musta felt when Amy threatened to keep John away from you because of **me**." Adrian looked over at Amy and then back to Ricky. "Even though Ben and I loved Mercy we still lost her and want her back. You two love John and I tried to take him away from both of you, in one way or another, and I'm sorry for the pain I caused you guys. I'm not asking for forgiveness. I just needed you both to know that I get how you feel about John and I feel truly guilty for what I did back then." Amy gave Adrian's hand another reassuring squeeze.

"Adrian," Amy began, her voice gentle. "For me it's gonna take time before I can honestly say that I forgive you completely. Everything you just told us lets me know this experience changed you. However, given our past, I'm gonna have to see your actions from now on back up those words before I know you've truly changed your ways and I feel comfortable around you," Amy told her honestly. Adrian sighed.

"I can live with that," she said with a small smile. Adrian turned towards Ricky to see what he had to say.

"What I told you the last time we spoke still stands, Adrian. Until Amy's comfortable with you being around, I'm not comfortable talking to you. Plus, I'm with Amy. I need to see that you've really changed your ways before I trust you enough to try to be friends," he explained. "I'm not trying to be cruel here, Adrian," he said apologetically. "I just don't feel comfortable having anything to do with you so long as I know you still rub my girlfriend the wrong way." Adrian nodded sadly.

"Don't worry, I get it, really." Adrian turned to look at Amy. "Thanks for letting me get all that out."

"You're welcome," Amy said with a small, friendly smile before standing. "I'll see you around, Adrian."

"See you around." Amy walked over to Ricky and he took her hand as they headed to the lunch courtyard to locate the rest of their posse. _That went better than I expected_ Adrian thought with relief as she began eating her lunch.

"You okay?" Ricky asked Amy as they continued walking. She nodded.

"Yeah. At least now I can stop feeling guilty for not knowing what to say to try and make her feel better since I finally said **something**. It wasn't a long conversation but hopefully it won't be awkward seeing her around school anymore." Ricky kissed her temple as a sign of his emotional support for her and she leaned her head against his shoulder to thank him for it. Back in the other courtyard Grace spotted Adrian and quickly hurried over to her best friend.

"There you are! I looked all over the courtyard for you!" Grace said cheerfully as she plopped herself next to Adrian. Grace suddenly looked at her seriously. "So how's your first day back been? I haven't managed to catch you in the halls today and see how things are going. You getting back into the swing of things?" Adrian shrugged.

"More or less." She sighed and Grace looked at her worriedly.

"Did something happen?" Grace asked with concern.

"Kinda. My morning started off with some bad news then I overheard some girls talking about me in the bathroom during third period and they didn't even care that I overheard them when they saw me come out of my stall. Although on the plus side I finally apologized to Amy and Ricky and hopefully things won't be so awkward when we pass each other in the halls."

"Well that's good," Grace agreed, taking a sip from her bottle of water. "What was the bad news though?"

"Turns out the school doesn't make exceptions for mental health absences," Adrian answered bitterly.

"Huh?"

"Turns out if you miss more than two weeks of school for health reasons or a death in the family you have to go to summer school to make up the actual hours you would've sat in a classroom as **well** as any school work and tests you missed," she explained glumly. Grace looked at her with sympathy.

"I'm sorry, Adrian. But maybe summer school won't be so bad?" Adrian just shrugged.

"Who knows. All I know is it means I can't walk with my class." Grace looked surprised.

"You sure?" Adrian nodded.

"Yeah. Apparently if you don't do the time you don't get your diploma so I won't get mine 'til I actually finish summer school." Grace scooted over and gave Adrian a hug.

"What a bummer."

"Tell me about it." Adrian sighed and pushed her hair back. "Well at least I can still finish high school so I guess that's the silver lining, right? Shouldn't I be tryna find the silver lining in every situation?" Grace smiled at her best friend. _Maybe I'm rubbing off on her more than I thought I was._

"Yep." Adrian smirked at Grace's chipper attitude. _What would I do without you, Gracie_ she wondered with amusement as she ate the rest of her lunch. Adrian didn't run into Ben until second to last period and he smiled when he saw her.

"Hey, Adrian. How's the first day back going so far?" he asked. Even though he was trying to appear merely curious, Adrian knew him well enough to tell that he was actually pretty concerned about her answer. She smiled to reassure him.

"It's okay, Benny. Had a couple bumps but pretty good for the most part."

"What kinda bumps?" he asked, his façade of curiousness gone. Adrian smirked over the fact he was still being protective of her. She also knew he would fixate on her statement unless she answered him.

"It turns out I was out so long I have to go to summer school to make up the time and work so I can't walk with my class, I overheard some girls talking about me in the bathroom third period, and I finally got around to apologizing to Amy and Ricky, and it went better than I thought actually."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean they get that I get what they went through and they don't hate me for what I did back then or anything. It's just gonna take time before either of them considers me a friend." She arched an eyebrow and gave Ben a smirk. "Which makes sense considering I wasn't the **nicest** person on earth before I got pregnant." Ben realized Adrian was poking fun at their past to lighten the mood and chuckled.

"I suppose." They shared a smile and a brief hug before heading to their respective classes. _Mami can do this, Mercy. One day at a time._


	44. Spring Fever

**44: Spring Fever**

Amy was squatting on front of the dryer transferring a load of dry clothes into an awaiting basket when she heard the sound of little feet scurrying towards her.

"Amy, I want cake," Robbie informed her. Amy continued with her task as she answered her little brother.

"We don't have any cake, Robbie."

"I want you to make me cake." Amy chuckled as she shut the dryer door and turned her head to look at Robbie.

"I don't think we have everything to make a cake."

"You could check," Robbie suggested innocently, causing Amy to chuckle at his honesty.

"Ok," she said, grabbing the laundry basket and rising to place it on top of the dryer. "Let's go see." Robbie dashed to the kitchen and then patiently waited for Amy to join him once he'd reached his destination. She opened the pantry cupboard and rummaged around to see what was already there, Robbie placing his hands on the counter and standing on his tippy toes in an attempt to better see what his big sister was looking at.

"Can you make a cake?" Robbie asked just as Moose barked and made his way to the back door, wagging his tail happily. Amy and Robbie looked over at the back door to see what had grabbed Moose's attention. A few moments later Ashley and George came in, George looking proud and Ashley wearing a grin. Amy smiled at her sister.

"So I take it you passed?" she said teasingly. In response Ashley opened her wallet and showed Amy her brand new driver's license.

"What's that?" Robbie asked Ashley curiously. Ashley bent forward to show him her driver's license.

"This, little brother, is permission from the state of California to drive a car," Ashley explained proudly. Her phone vibrated and Ashley stood to see who had just texted her. She smiled when she saw a text from Griffin: _About to get my results. Did you pass?_ She stepped away from Robbie and Amy to quickly text him back.

"So what are you two up to?" George asked as John wandered into the kitchen to see what was keeping Robbie from returning to the living room to play with him.

"Amy's gonna make me cake," Robbie explained.

"Only if we have everything to make a cake," Amy corrected him.

"I want cake too, mommy," John told her.

"I say we go out tonight to celebrate Ash's news," George said to Amy before looking down at Robbie and John and addressing them. "And we'll have cake for dessert after dinner. How's that sound?" George asked them with a smile.

"Good," Robbie replied, with a smile of his own, before heading back into the living room to play, content now that he knew he'd definitely be getting cake today.

"Wait for me, Robbie!" John called out after his uncle and playmate, running towards the living room. Amy and George shared a chuckle before George stepped forward to kiss Amy's cheek.

"So how was your day?" he asked Amy conversationally.

"Good, nothing too exciting. Just did some homework and caught up on some chores. How were things at the store?"

"Good," he replied, opening the fridge and taking out a pitcher of Kool-Aid to pour himself a glass. "Business is steady enough that we're not bored but not too busy we're swamped," he explained as he took down a glass and filled it. George glanced over at the kitchen table where Ashley was still texting. "So what do you feel like for dinner, Ash? Geoff's? Something else?" Ashley looked up from her phone and stared straight ahead for a minute, thinking about her answer, before looking at her dad.

"We haven't been to Red Robin in a while," she responded. George nodded and then pulled out the phone book to call the restaurant and make a reservation for them as Anne came into the kitchen with Robbie in tow.

"What about Red Robin?" she asked, as she took down a small cup for Robbie to put some water in it for him.

"Dad wants to go out to celebrate Ash getting her license," Amy explained, hopping up on the kitchen island to have a seat.

"Thank you, mommy," Robbie said as Anne handed him his cup of water. Ashley beamed once again, proud of herself for getting her license on her first try and excited to know that now she had the possibility for a little more freedom. Not that she still felt like getting out of the house and away from her family's drama anymore, she just liked knowing that now she had the **option** to get away for a while if she wanted to, provided one of her parents or Amy let her use their car. She looked around at her family, her mom and sister chatting, her little brother drinking his water, their dog lying down near her feet and her dad on the phone. _A functional family, a sorta boyfriend, a best friend __**and**__ a license? Yeah things are pretty good right now_ she thought with a smile.

The next day at school Ashley and Griffin were standing at his locker comparing their licenses, oblivious to the others students around them.

"Nope, I definitely took the better picture," Griffin said triumphantly. Ashley blew his a raspberry.

"Bad picture or not, it's still a license." Ashley chuckled as she remembered something. "And it's legal this time." Griffin looked at her with a mixture of shock and curiosity.

"Was Ashley a bad girl in a past life?" he asked teasingly.

"Long story," she said, adjusting the strap of her backpack before spinning on her heels and heading down the hallway. Griffin quickly shut his locker and jogged to catch up with her.

"I've got time," he said with a smile as they continued heading towards their first class. In another hallway Amy was approaching Ricky's locker with a smile. He saw her out or the corner of his eye and smiled as he continued taking books out of his locker.

"Can you get off work a little early tomorrow?" she asked. Ricky looked at her curiously.

"Maybe. Why?"

"Um. Because it's your birthday and you're going out to celebrate." Ricky chuckled.

"Oh I am am I?" he asked with amusement as he shut his locker door and turned to give her his full attention. Amy nodded.

"Yep. And you'll need to be ready to go by 5:00 sharp," she informed him sternly. Ricky saw the glint of amusement in her eyes and gave her a smirk.

"And just where am I going for this birthday celebration?" Amy gave him a mischievous smirk of her own.

"If I told you then it wouldn't be a surprise," she said smugly before turning around and heading down the hallway toward the stairs. Ricky laughed as he caught up with her. He draped his right arm over her neck.

"Do I need to dress up?" he asked with amusement, thinking back to their first date where Amy had been worried about what to wear when he wouldn't tell her where he was taking her out to eat. Amy shook her head as she looked over at him and smiled.

"Nope. Just something comfortable. That's not pajamas or sweatpants," she quickly added, worried Ricky might take her previous words literally just to mess with her. As Amy and Ricky headed downstairs towards the band room Adrian was at her locker shutting the door with frustration. Grant was walking past and stopped when the noise caught his attention.

"Everything okay, Adrian?" Adrian nodded and pushed her hair back with irritation.

"Yeah, yeah. It just sucks that I'm still playing catch up, graduation's only a couple months away and people finally found out about you know what." Grant gave her a sympathetic look and then a sideways hug.

"You hangin' in there?" Adrian nodded and gave him a tired smile before pulling away to adjust the strap of her bag.

"Yeah. It's just life I guess, right?" Grant nodded and then swallowed a lump in his throat.

"This is usually the point where Grace says something spiritually profound to make you feel better but I don't know the Bible and all that like she does," he told her nervously. Adrian started to laugh and Grant soon joined her.

"Yeah, Grace **does** have this annoying habit of knowing what to say to make you feel better about a situation," Adrian agreed. "Thanks, Grant." Grant gave her a look of confusion and she smiled at him. "I know you didn't actually say anything profound but you admitted you wanted to try and make me feel better so it's the thought that counts." The warning bell sounded, effectively ending their conversation. "See you at lunch."

"See you." Adrian made her way to her first period class, ignoring the stares and whispers being directed her way. She was initially surprised that none of her schoolmates knew she'd lost Mercy but when she thought about it, not a lot of teenagers read obituaries and it was right around the time of Christmas break so people were a little preoccupied with their holiday plans. However, Grant High being Grant High, it was only a matter of time before someone overheard something and a student had been in the courtyard and overheard Adrian's remark to Grace about being absent for her mental health and said student's curiosity led him to do some digging, and the digging resulted in searches that revealed both a birth and death certificate for Adrian's child. It hadn't taken long for news to spread and Adrian had overheard some of the gossip, unknown to the gossipers. Adrian took her seat with a sigh and began to take out her textbook and notebook. _Man I can't wait for high school to be over._

First period was over before Adrian knew it and she made her way to her second period class solemnly, counting down the hours until the end of the school day. In another hallway Jason was in a much happier mood as he walked between Jack and Jesse.

"So with my GPA as it is right now, I qualify for early registration. So I'll head down to register for my classes then come back for graduation then take off the next morning," Jason said excitedly.

"So you're not coming to the party?" Jesse asked curiously. Jason rolled his eyes as he looked at his friend.

"Oh come on, Jess. We've been with these people for the past four years. **We're** tight and all," he said, motioning his hand between himself and Jesse. "But I'm really not interested in spending the night rehashing high school with the rest of our senior class. Besides, graduation night parties are so cliché, with everyone getting drunk and doing something stupid." Jesse shook his head.

"It won't be like that," he assured his friend. "For one my parents are chaperoning." Jack groaned and Jesse looked at him with confusion. "What?"

"Seriously? A **chaperoned** senior party? What are we five?" Jesse rolled his eyes at Jack's lament.

"They're gonna be upstairs while we have the whole lower floor of the house and the deck and pool to ourselves. They'll be more like reserve chaperones." Jason and Jack looked at Jesse like he was speaking a foreign language. "I mean they'll be in the house in case something serious goes down but we'll basically be left to our own devices, at least that's how my dad put it. They figured the word 'chaperones' would be enough to keep most of our classmates in line and keep the property damage to a minimum." Jack and Jason chuckled at that. A couple of their classmates were known for getting pretty rowdy at house parties.

"I'll think about it," Jason told him. Jack sighed.

"I can't believe we'll be done with this place forever in a couple of months." Jason and Jesse nodded in agreement. "Part of me's gonna miss this place but part of me can't **wait** to move onto college, you know?" He looked at his friends for confirmation and saw them nod their heads in understanding and agreement. In a classroom down another hall Ben, Alice and Henry were sitting at their desks and chatting.

"Is it summer yet?" Henry whined, propping up his left elbow on his desk and leaning his head against his hand. Alice rolled her eyes.

"Relax. School's almost over," she said.

"But it's so nice out," Henry continued to whine. "Why's school gotta go 'til June?"

"Because that's when summer **starts**, genius," Alice informed him. "Spring lasts from March to May but because they let us out for part of December and for various other holidays that amount to a couple of weeks anyway, school doesn't get out 'til the middle of June," she informed him. Henry glared at her

"Do you always have to have an answer for everything?" Alice shrugged.

"I like to read and be informed," she replied as the warning bell rang and they joined their classmates in actually getting ready for class to begin.

Second period passed uneventfully, passing even slower for Henry who kept getting distracted by starring out the classroom window at the beautiful spring day outside. He glumly followed Alice and Ben out of the classroom after the bell rang and then waved bye to Alice as he and Ben headed to their next class. At Madison's locker she was telling her two best friends about her latest dilemma.

"So Justin wants us to work at the food court again but other than meeting him it was a horrible way to spend the summer." Lauren nodded in agreement. "Then my dad tells me that I'm not just gonna hang out all summer so either I get a summer job or go to summer school."

"Why summer school?" Lauren asked curiously. Madison shrugged as she shut her locker door forcefully.

"My dad gave me this big speech about how either option would help me get ahead in life." She lowered her voice and put on a stern expression as she did an imitation of her father. "Summer school can help keep your mind sharp and make your senior year a little easier. And working can teach you responsibility and lets you earn a little money." Amy and Lauren sniggered at Madison's spot-on impression of her father.

"I think he means well," Amy offered as the trio made their way down the hall. Madison scoffed.

"It's not like I've done anything to get punished this year," Madison whined. "To have to choose between the food court and summer school? Ug!"

"So what's it gonna be?" Lauren asked.

"Well I'm not going back to the food court, that's for sure."

"Summer school it is then," Amy stated. Madison suddenly stopped in her tracks and grabbed her two best friends' arms.

"You two have to promise to come with me. I don't wanna suffer through summer school alone," she pleaded. Amy gave her an empathetic look, knowing what it's like to be stuck with summer school while her friends are out having fun.

"Sorry, Madison, but I work fulltime in the summer," Amy told her. Madison looked at Lauren and Lauren began to squirm.

"I don't know, Madison. A whole summer of school work?"

"Please?" Madison pleaded, giving Lauren a pitiful look. Lauren rolled her eyes as she sighed.

"Alright, fine. But only because I love you." Madison hugged Lauren tightly and sighed.

"Thanks, Lauren."

"You owe me big for this," Lauren warned her.

"I know." The three girls entered their chemistry class as the warning bell sounded. The rest of the morning passed uneventfully and eventually the lunch bell sounded. Grace made her way outside and found her friends seated at a table. Adrian noticed Grace's smile was brighter and more energetic than usual as she lowered herself to the bench.

"What's got you in such a good mood?" Adrian asked before taking a bite of her lasagna.

"I just got my info packet for Med Camp!" Grace explained. She took everyone by surprise when she let out a happy squeal a moment later; they all jumped a little. "I can't **wait** for summer break!" she exclaimed with excitement.

"Hear, hear!" Henry agreed with a smile, raising his soda can as though he were participating in a toast. Ben and Grant chuckled at Henry's enthusiasm while Alice smirked but ignored him and continued eating her chicken sandwich. Grace glanced around the table and noticed everyone smiling or smirking except Adrian. Remembering Adrian would be stuck in summer school, some of Grace's excitement dampened. Adrian noticed Grace looking at her sympathetically and she gave her best friend a genuine smile

"I'm happy for you, Grace, honest. I know this camp'll help you with becoming a doctor. Just no more of that 'how are you doing' with the shoulder grab thing. It's kinda creepy," Adrian informed her. Grace giggled.

"Thanks, Adrian, and deal." Grace opened her lunch bag and took out an orange. "It is just me or does the end of the school year always seem to take forever to get here?" she asked as she began to peel her orange.

"Nope, it takes forever," Henry assured her. Ben smirked at his best friend.

"It only feels that way because you're impatient," Ben informed Henry, taking a sip from his juice bottle with a smile.

"Patience is a virtue," Grace informed the table. "Everything happens when it's supposed to," she continued with a shrug. Adrian and Grant looked at each other with a knowing smirk. "Although such gorgeous weather makes it hard this time of year." Henry looked at Alice triumphantly.

"See! The great weather makes even **Grace** want school to end sooner. It's not just me." Ben and Grant sniggered at Henry's remark.

"I think we can agree that we're all at least a little anxious for the school year to be over," Grant stated with amusement. Everyone nodded in agreement. "I guess that's why they call it spring fever." Everyone smiled and continued eating their lunches, chatting about their summer plans.


End file.
